Make me feel alive.

"Dad I'm going." I said as I grabbed my jacket. "Are you sure you don't want to come?" He looked at me with lifeless eyes. "No, Gerard. You can go." I nodded and went on my way to the hospital.
As I walked through the streets, I began to think about my mother. It's been two years since we found out that she has colon cancer. We really don't know why, because nobody knows how this happens and yet, nobody knows how to cure it. I guess I just have to see my mother slowly dying under my eyes, am I right?
I stopped as I saw the big building. I took a deep breath and walked in. It's always so sad, being in a hospital. I don't like to see people ill, see how they slowly let go and let the illness win. This makes me feel so powerless and helpless.
I took the stairway to the second floor, due to the fact that I come here everyday. I made my way to my mother's room and, without permission, I entered in. Instead of my mother, I saw a nurse and a boy God knows who he is. "Where's my mom?" I said. "they moved her, didn't they tell you?" I shook my head. "Come on, follow me." I didn't know how to react. Was she moved because her illness was regressing or because she was getting worse? The nurse kept telling me things I don't even remember, I wasn't listening.
"Here you go." the nurse said with a smile, pointing to the door. I nodded and entered in.
There were two beds. On the right one, there was my mom. She was sleeping. On the other one, there was a boy. I guess he was around my age. His legs were fully buried in the sheets, he was shaking. He had a book on his thighs, leafing gently the pages. He stopped to see me, giving me a weak smile and then returning back to the book.
I smiled back and made my way to the chair next to my mother's bed. She looked so peaceful in her sleep that I considered the fact to not wake her up. I took her hand and slowly stroke it with my cold fingers.
A few tears escaped from my eyes as I watched her smiling against her pillow. I just kept asking me why. Why her? She was the best person in the world, she deserved the better things this world would offer. Instead, she was imprisoned in this room, fighting between life and death.
There was an awkward silence, sometimes interrupted with my sobs and the pages of the book that guys was reading.
All at once, I heard a noise. The book fell on the floor and that guy was trying to get up and take it. His moves were surely hurting, you could see it in his painful face. I got up from my chair and walked in the middle of the room. I grabbed the book from the ground and lent it to the guy. "Thanks." he murmured. I smiled and went back to my chair. He was still looking at me, and I couldn't help doing the same thing. He was actually a good-looking guy. Though his skin was a yellow-shady pale and his eyes were dull and swollen, he was handsome.
"Oh, hum, I'm Gerard." I said awkwardly. "Frank." he replied with a smile. There was nothing to say, so I turned my attention back to my mom. I hadn't so much time left, so I decided to wake her up.
"Mom, it's me, it's Gerard. Wake up." I whispered, shaking her arm slowly.
"G-Gerard. Honey." she smiled.
"How are you?"
"Much better if I was home, but I'm okay." That really made me so sad.
"I wish you were home, too. But it's better if you stay here."
"I know. Gerard, you don't have to come here everyday, you know? I want you to have a life. I want you to go out with your friends, with your girlfriend. I want you to be happy." I let out a small laugh and then said "I'm happy if I'm with you... and I'm not that lucky with girls anyway." I tried to joke, not wanting to make things harder. She laughed with me and that was enough. I wanted to see her laugh. It's so heartbreaking to see her sad. "My golden boy."
Suddenly the door opened.
"Meds time." a nurse said. Then, she lent something to my mother and to Frank. "And visits are over, Gerard. You have to go." I nodded.
"I think dad's coming tomorrow. Goodbye, mom." she smiled.
"And goodbye, Frank." Frank, who was looking at us the whole time, blushed and softly said "Goodbye, Gerard."
"So you know each other!" my mother said out of nowhere. I laughed and went out, eavesdropping what they were saying.

Notes

So, I'm back. This is my Christmas present (were you even waiting for me to come back?). Just tell me if I should go on or not. :)