Gerard had been sitting in Frank’s car for a little over an hour and a half now. The windows were all the way rolled down and the cool breeze had felt nice on Gerard’s once hot skin. His hair was blowing in his face just a little bit, but he hadn’t minded it. But one thing that he did mind however, was how quiet everything was. When Gerard had agreed to go on this ride with Frank he did not suspect it to be so uncomfortable.

Frank was just sitting there, being completely silent and non-responsive as he drove his car down the highway. The only sounds that were really present were the soft idle of the engine and the squeaking of the tires and breaks as they moved. The radio was not on, and apparently, neither was Frank’s voice box.

So here Gerard sat, in this small car with nothing to do until they got to Frank’s house. Gerard had already tried to talk to Frank about something, anything, really. But everything that Gerard had brought up had been shot down all over again with these one- worded responses that were really not thought through at all. It just seemed like Frank was too busy with his own mind to talk to Gerard. And Gerard, did not like it one bit.

“You do anything when your home?” Gerard inquired, turning his body towards Frank, watching him as he moved his hands on the wheel. Frank shrugged his shoulders.

“I guess,” Frank shrugged, tossing his hair out of his eyes as he stared out at the road, focusing on the road signs as he passed them. He still wasn’t familiar with going from college to home yet, and he did not want to get lost somewhere out here. New Jersey wasn’t that much of a friendly state. And it didn’t matter that Frank had lived in Jersey all of his life, you sometimes still didn’t get used to all of the assholes.



The answer wasn’t much, and Gerard was suspecting just that. So he just decided to do something that he hadn’t really liked to do. He decided to pry. Gerard never really liked to pry, that was exactly how his own mother had acted, she always needed to know everything, so growing up with it, and Gerard despised it. But, you need to do what you need to do to save yourself from boredom.

“Do you hang out with friends?” Gerard questioned.

“Sometimes,” responded Frank while he turned his head to look back at the sign that he had just passed. There was only an hour left till he was finally home, and he could finally see his mom.

“Oh that’s awesome, you have a lot of friends?”

“One, Jamia.”

Gerard tilted his head to the side in confusion. “You only have one friend?”

“Well, yeah I guess so.” Frank spoke as if it was not that big of a deal. And to him, it really wasn’t. Frank was used to not having any friends. He didn’t really enjoy hanging out with people on his spare time, well people apart from his family. He only ever stayed home with his mother and sometimes his father, whenever he was home.

Gerard, on the other hand, had sat there with his jaw slack and his eyes wide. Frank didn’t have any friends? None at all but one? Gerard could not see himself living without his friends and his girlfriend. Things were just a little different for Frank. He just couldn’t live without his mother. So Gerard being Gerard, he just needed to voice out his opinions.

“How can you be okay with having one friend? Gerard questioned. “I would die,” Frank sighed at Gerard and rolled his eyes.

“You wouldn’t die.” Frank laughed at Gerard’s reaction. “You would have your family.” Gerard made an over exaggerative noise and shook his head.

“What family? I have a brother. That’s my family.” Frank’s face dropped as he turned back to focus on the road once more. He had really felt bad with bringing up the family thing. He hadn’t really thought that it would be a touchy subject, but now as he sees Gerard’s slumped figure in his passenger side seat, he realized now that it was.

“Sorry,” Frank says after just a few moments of awkward silence. “About not having a family. I wouldn’t be able to make it without mine.”

Gerard shrugs his shoulders and looks out the side window. His face is slumped and coated red with embarrassment. It wasn’t that he did have a family. Gerard had a lot of family. His mother and father, along with both of his grandparents were still living. But the term family did not specifically categorize them. They were more like relatives, per say. They had not liked Gerard. They didn’t like him for reasons that Gerard didn’t really know, nor was he capable of changing them. So he was stuck with no one excluding his little brother Mikey. But really, Gerard wouldn’t tell Frank that.

“Eh, it’s beyond my control really.” Gerard shrugged. “But enough of this sappy, depressing junk.” Gerard said, flapping his hand around, almost hitting Frank dab in the face. Frank just shrugged and let out a small laugh before focusing back on the drive.

“Tell me more about this Jamia chick then.”

Laughing, Frank turned his focus onto Gerard yet again. “She is my best friend. She is one of the most important people in my life right now.”

“Not your girlfriend then, I take it?” Gerard cocked his head to the side in question.
“No,” Frank huffed.

“Alright, alright” Gerard kicked his stilettos down on the floor matt, scuffing the heel as he kicked his feet back and forth. Frank would say that Gerard looked like a love struck gossip chick, but then that would be sort of mean to say.

Frank left Gerard to his scuffing as he kept on with the drive. The quiet was somewhat nice, but it had also made Frank feel just the slightest bit bad. Gerard had wanted to go in this little car trip with him so that they could talk about their day and all, yet Frank was being as he would describe himself, a jackass. So, Frank sucked up his bad feelings and decided to attempt to be the social little butterfly that he really wasn’t.

“How was your day?” Frank found himself asking. And as soon as the words had left his mouth, there was Gerard, smiling and starring at Frank like he just came back to life.

“Great, actually! I mean the teachers aren’t like great but the kids here are really open minded. I haven’t got punched in the face at all today!” Gerard beamed, like it was an accomplishment. “Well in the stomach, but that was only once.” Gerard paused for a moment, a smirk on his face. “Guys even hit on me. It was kind of weird, cause you know, they’re guys but some girls asked me where I got my skirt so I told them Victoria’s.” he gushed.

Frank began to think that Gerard might actually turn out to be a woman. Only woman and very gay men gushed and gossiped like Gerard did. Not that Frank was complaining, because really in that aspect it had reminded him of his mother. That thought alone had made Frank smile.

“How was your day?” Gerard asked, seemingly interested. Frank shrugged his shoulders lightly and gripped the wheel.

“Could have been a lot better, actually.” Gerard frowned. “Kids here you know? They just don’t have anything in common with me. They’re all whores.” Frank attempted to explain which made Gerard burst out with laughter.

“I get you man,” he laughed. “I saw this one chick making out with the real ugly dude behind the C wing stairs.”

Frank visibly shuttered. “Gross.”


“Oh come on,” Gerard giggled. “Don’t tell me you wouldn’t mind getting some action during school hours.”

Frank shook his head. “Nope, sounds gross.” Gerard’s mouth dropped open.

“Really? Dude why!” Gerard questioned. “You got to be pulling my leg.”

“No, I wouldn’t want to. I’ve never even kissed anyone before.” If it was possible for Gerard’s eyes to pop out of his head and his jaw to fall off, then that is what would have happened at that moment. Instead, he starred at Frank dumfounded.

“You’re kidding me.” Frank shook his head. “You’re like nineteen! And it’s not like your gross; I know Lyn thinks you’re hot. You shower too, I think. Girls should be swooning all over you!”

Frank sighed. “Yeah I guess.” He pulled down his road and sped up just that little bit more. Awkward conversation would almost be done for. “If I was even really into girls.”

Gerard starred at Frank confused. He had not seen that one coming. But since he found out that he hadn’t kissed anyone, at all before, then he supposed that there had to be some stupid reason. Not that being gay was stupid. But uh, well it’s just he hadn’t suspected it. He was about to say something back, but really what do you really say to some guy that just came out to you as being gay?

“Here we are.” Frank broke Gerard’s thoughts and snapped his head forward. A women stood at the door, smiling and waving frantically at the car, before she ran out to greet them. Gerard sat and swallowed, straightened his skirt and hair before he finally got out of the car.
…
“My baby!” Linda screamed as she ran up to Frank as soon as he got out of his car. He greeted her with the same kind of enthusiasm that she had just done as they embraced.

Gerard stood by Frank’s car as he watched the two rekindle what the other had missed in the measly day that had passed. The way they stood there, hugging, kissing and blabbing on about what the other had missed. Gerard felt it tug at his heartstrings a bit. He wished he had that kind of relationship like that with Donna, his mother. But he knew that that was not going to happen anytime soon. It made him miss his little brother Mikey.

Frank had tears in his eyes as he held his mother close. He had missed her sweet face, her russet brown eyes and curly short brown hair. He missed her sweet lilac smell and her little pink slippers that she had worn daily since she got them. He didn’t know that he would feel so happy to see those raggedy old slippers.

“I missed you so much mommy…” the nineteen year old blubbered. His mother pulled him close and shushed him, patting his back as he wept.

“Its okay baby, it’ll all be okay.” She tried to calm him down, but with the volume of Frank’s crying, it would be very surprising if he could even hear a word she was saying.


“I can’t do it without you.” He couldn’t help but just let his words come pouring out, forgetting that Gerard was just standing five feet away.

Frank reluctantly stepped away from his mother. She stepped forward, wiping away the tears from his cheeks as they fell. He smiled brokenly at her as he stepped away completely, sniffling as she stepped away from him walking up to Gerard.

“Hello, I’m Linda, Frank’s mother. It’s nice to meet you.” The woman smiled as she shook the young man’s hand. Gerard returned the smile and shook the woman’s hand gently.

“I am Gerard, it’s nice to meet you too.” Linda smiled gently and turned back over to look at her son.

“Your right Frank, he is very cute and feminine.” Linda attempted to whisper to her son yet failed miserably. She was never the best at keeping quiet. Gerard turned to look at Frank, an unreadable expression on his face. Right after Frank had come out to Gerard he hears this.

Things are just going out for him.

“Oh Gerard honey, I love that skirt!” Linda beamed, turning her attention back to the red haired man. “Where did you get it? It looks so nice on you!” Linda exclaimed, walking up to Gerard and glancing at his skirt. “Victoria’s?”

“Yeah, actually. Thanks,” Gerard smiled at Frank’s mother. For a few minutes after that, all they had talked about was gossip girl and the Desperate House wives, along with makeup and clothing tips and how to make her skin as soft and baby smooth like his was.

Frank couldn’t help but feel just a little bit jealous that Gerard had hit it off so nicely with his mother. He wasn’t used to having to share her with anyone really, and now that her attention wasn’t all on him he couldn’t help but feel just a little sick to the stomach. He guesses that he should cut her some slack though; she doesn’t really have any girlfriends with much fashion sense like Gerard had.

Frank tried to ignore his feelings as he walked up to his home, walking in more reluctantly than what he was really anticipating. He was afraid that something, anything would be out of place. That possibly he would walk in and everything would be completely different. Yet to his immense surprise, nothing was out of the ordinary. He could breathe a sigh of relief for that.

He walked back further into the house until he reached the black door, the entrance to his bedroom. He walked in without an ounce of reluctance. He was greeted with that same comforting smell of incense. His room was littered with all of the same posters that had been on his walls for years. The black flag posters, the misfits, and all of the other band and comic book posters had littered the wall, small spots of black; the actual wall had poked through.
He walked over to his desk, where all of his records and CDs were placed carefully. He grabbed his skull and bones bag off of his desk chair, filling it with multiple CDs and some of the random movies that he had on his desk at the time being. He shoved them all in the bag, along with his wide variety of comic books and guitar picks. As he finished grabbing the last of the small items, he stripped his bed of the sheets and blankets, grabbed his guitar and some posters off the walls before walking back out of his room.

Gerard and Linda were sitting in the living room, cups of coffee in their hands and smiles on their faces. The television set was on in the background, playing softly but not being heard because of the loud voices coming from the two on the couch. When they did not look up as he entered, Frank couldn’t help but feel just that little bit worse. He wanted his mother to himself, now he was beginning to regret bringing Gerard, just a little bit.

“Oh Frank honey, come sit down,” Linda pat beside her, making her son immediately respond. “I just talked to Gerard about you two staying for dinner, I’m making veggie burgers.” She clasped her hands together, handing her son her cup of coffee. He took a sip before putting it down on the coffee table in front of him.

“Yeah we’ll stay,” Frank said, taking a glance at Gerard who nodded his head in agreement.

“Yeah we will. We just need to be home by eight.” Linda’s smile was wiped off her face at that comment, but nodded her head and stood from her seat.

“Alright, I better get cooking then! You two will need to leave by six if you’re going to make it there in time.” She walked out of the room and into the kitchen. “Take Gerard to your room! Show him around for a little bit!”

Frank looked back at Gerard who was already standing and smiling at Frank, walking his way over to him. Frank stood up and beckoned for Gerard to follow him to the back of the house.

“Your mom is awesome,” Gerard spoke as he walked over to sit down on Frank’s bed. “And your room is awesome too, by the way.”

“She really is,” Frank agreed. “I love her.” Gerard smiled and crossed his legs, straightening out his skirt as it rode up his thigh. “We really don’t need to be back by eight, you know.”

“Yeah, I know. I just don’t like driving at night and I do have all of that homework that’s due tomorrow.” Frank rubbed his hands on his face with a sigh. “It’s just college, man.”

“Yeah, I know.” Gerard laughed. “College.”
…
“Goodbye Linda!” Gerard shouted from the passenger side of Frank’s car. “It was nice meeting you!”

“Bye honey, you too!” Linda waved back, before turning back to her frowning son.
“Thanks for dinner, mom.” Frank whispered as he clasped her in a hug. She smiled and wrapped her arms around her son. “I’ll call you tomorrow after school. I have so much assignments to get done.”

“Okay baby, I love you drive safe.” She kissed both his cheeks before pulling fully away. She couldn’t help but let a few tears slip down her cheeks as her son began his walk back to his car.



“I love you!” Frank shouted from inside the car before backing away out of the driveway. He let the tears fall freely now as she went out of sight. God, he thought. He hates leaving his mother.

…

That night Frank had troubles getting to sleep. As soon as they had gotten home from that long drive back, they were both exhausted and ready to pass out. Frank had loved that he got to see his mother, yet he still had sort of wished that Gerard did not go with them. He wanted his mom to himself, and well with Gerard there, it really had defeated the purpose.

He sucked it up when he was at his mother’s home, and that’s why he was paying for it now, as he lay in his comic book blankets bundle and the twin sized dorm bed. It was like what the first day would have been like if he was not so exhausted in the first place. So now he lay there crying to himself and watching the red head across the room toss in his sleep.

“Fucking hell,” Frank mumbled, tossing the blankets off of him and to the side. He was sweating from head to toe and was completely drenched in his plan white t-shirt. He stood up and ripped the shirt off, reveling his clad chest. He threw it to the side and grabbed the water bottle off the shelf.

“What are you doing?” the mumbled greeting was heard from across the room. It came from the talking bundle of blankets. Frank couldn’t help but throw the bottle of water on the ground in surprise, the lukewarm liquid pouring itself onto the already stained carpet.
”God, Gerard you scared me half to death.”

Gerard stood up very slowly and walked over to the half-naked boy, who was almost completely in the middle of having a panic attack. The red head pat Frank on the wet and quite sticky back before he made a face and pulled away.

Gerard stood there for just that extra second to look at Frank, his disheveled hair and dark circles under his blood shot eyes had let Gerard know that something was up with him. That and he could hear the boy crying across the room for the past two hours before he actually decided to say anything about it.

“What’s wrong, dude?”

“Nothing.”

“Is it because I didn’t take my make-up off last night and now I look like a raccoon?”

Frank couldn’t help but let a chuckle escape his slightly wet lips. “Yes, that’s the reason Gerard.”

Gerard Sighed and motioned for Frank to sit down on his bed. Frank reluctantly followed the red head and plopped himself down on the surprisingly soft mattress. Gerard eyes Frank suspiciously for a few seconds, before he spoke to the younger man.

“Now, what is really wrong with you?”

“Yesterday When I went to go see my mother and you came with me you ripped all of her attention away from me and everything was all focused around you. She is my mom not yours and yesterday you were acting like you were pals for years that finally met up after fucking beauty school. You know I love my mom to death and I had missed her so fucking much and then poof. You just hop in my life and rip me out of my moms.” Frank caught his breath after his ramblings and looked over at the taller man. The look on Gerard’s face at the moment was just dumb founded. Confusion ripping through his features complete with a cocked eyebrow and a slightly opened mouth. The red head had definitely not seen that coming and Frank knew it.

“Uh…” Gerard paused for a second and looked up at the ceiling for some type of answer which he did not receive, so he turned his attention back to Frank who was now crying all over again.

“Frank I didn’t mean to make you feel that way… I was just trying to get to know your mom and like get her to like me. Because I’m your roommate and all and I want her to know that her son is in safe keepings. I can tell she cares about you so much, and when you were off packing up more stuff she talked to me about how proud of you she was. I didn’t steal her away from you, and even if I tried to it wouldn’t work one bit.”

“Gerard… I- I’m sorry that I jumped to conclusions.” Frank sniffled and wiped his dripping nose across his tattooed arm. “I just miss her so much… I need her so much. And I can’t deal with not having her here with me. I just…”

Gerard stepped in and wrapped his arms around Frank, instantaneously shushing him. Frank stood shaking and starring at the wall, his cheeks turning into a crimson red as Gerard’s grip grew tighter. His breath hitched in his throat as he brought his shaking arms up to return the hug. At that moment in time, everything had frozen for Frank. The hug lasted what seemed like forever and in that moment Frank had not cared one bit. His mother was for once, out of his mind and the only thing he could think about was the way Gerard’s bare chest had felt against his own and how strong Gerard had felt to him, holding him so close to his body which gave Frank such comfort and the feeling of secureness. He wasn’t upset anymore. All bad feelings had been replaced with what had felt like magic and fireworks and for once for those couple of days, he had felt at home.

“Frank, I will be here for you. If you’re upset I want you to come to me and talk to me about anything you need to. I want to be your friend and I will be here with you every step of the way if you will allow it. You’re not alone.” Gerard stepped away from Frank, but still had his hands on his shoulders, forcing Frank to look into his eyes. “I will be your mother all through college.”

Frank couldn’t help but laugh and smile at Gerard’s last comment and nodded his head, mumbling a small and shy thanks. Gerard smiled and let go of Frank’s shoulders as he walked back over to his bed. He got in under the covers and turned to look at Frank who was now walking over to his own, wiping the earlier tears from his face when Gerard called over to him.

“Hey! Why don’t you sleep over here for tonight?

Frank looked over in Gerard’s direction, palms sweaty and heart racing fast. At first Frank was not sure if Gerard was pulling a prank on him or not. Him coming out to the man as gay earlier and Gerard not being able to respond had made Frank feel a bit wheezy. He wasn’t so sure if Gerard had a problem with him or not, but Frank figured either way, prank or not if Gerard really did have a problem with him being a homosexual he would not invite the man to bed with him.

“Are you sure?” Frank asked, rubbing his arm with his hand and looking around the room nervously. Gerard just smiled at him and patted the space next to him. The extremely small space. Frank glanced over at his own bed that at the moment was occupied by no one, then looked back at Gerard who had a smile on his face as big as the Cheshire cats. Frank walked is way over to Gerard’s bed.

Frank plopped down on the bed next to Gerard, crawling his way under the covers while Gerard got situated behind him. Frank was a sweaty mess in front of him, shaking and looking around the room franticly. This was Frank’s first time in a bed with anyone. Anyone other than his mother of course, and Frank was a nervous wreck. Gerard noticed Frank’s nerves and put his hand on his shoulder, which made Frank visibly relax. After a few moments of the two of them not speaking, Gerard had finally broke the silence.

“You know, I really don’t care that you’re gay. I mean I dress up like a chick and you don’t judge me for that so I am not going to judge you.” Gerard said, making Frank smile.

“Goodnight, Frank.” Gerard mumbled tiredly, gripping Frank’s arm and pulling him closer to him.

Frank smiled as he settled in to Gerard, they’re bodies fitting together like pieces of a puzzle. This was not at all awkward feeling for Frank, and that bit had scared him a little bit. For the first time ever Frank had realized that he had a crush on someone. Not just for the looks, but for Gerard’s caring and loving attitude. And in that moment Frank had no worries at all. He felt comfortable and Gerard’s arms had felt homey. And as much as he thought he was going to be dreading it, Frank decided that college was a good idea after all.

Notes

hope you all loved this chapter!! thanks for everything guys!!! comment, I love feedback :)