Sometimes I Think I'll Die Alone

Grey’s P.O.V.

So... Mikey was happy with his bass, I was thoroughly confused about what to do about Frank, and we have yet another show tonight. Yippee. But I knew it’d be fun, at least I had that in my favour.

Mikey was tuning up his new bass in the back room at Big Daddy’s while I sat on the sofa looking at him, smiling.

He grinned, “What?”

I just smiled and shook my head, “You look so happy Mikes.”

He put his bass down to sit next to me and wrap his arms around me, “I am. Why, aren’t you?”

I leaned my head on his shoulder, “No I’m not Mikes. But I never am, so nothing new there.”

He held my hand, “What’s up Blue?”

I smiled, “Nothing. That I know of.” He frowned, confused, then pulled me into a hug.

”You’re so weird ...” I giggled.

“I guess I’ll take that as a compliment...” I grinned.

My best friend just chuckled and squeezed me tight, “I love you, Blue.” I smiled, then realising that the door had opened. With Frank standing in the doorway.

He looked back and forth between Mikey and me. Oh dear... I looked at him behind my fringe, trying desperately not to make eye contact. I hated that.

His throat was dry as he spoke, “Uhh... Sorry. Just wanted to tell you guys you’re on in 10.”

He looked over to me, “Um, see you.” He headed back out of the door, shutting it behind him. Well, damn...

I heard Mikey sigh, “What?”

He shook his head and spoke quietly, “Nothing.”

I groaned and pushed his shoulder, “Mikeyyyyy. What?”

He looked at me, “It’s painful to watch you two, you know?” I looked at him, confused. “It’s so blatantly obvious that he likes you, and I can so easily tell that somewhere, maybe even deep down inside, you want him, Blue.”

I frowned. I didn’t think I did. But I didn’t really know anything about myself nowadays. “Right...”

Mikey opened his mouth to speak when Gerard came bounding through the door, “Come on guys. We gotta get going.” He grinned, drunk yet again.

Mikey and me stood up and headed for the door, for our... fourth show. Same as always. The same setlist. The same people. The same songs...

* * *

Frank’s P.O.V.

“I love you Blue.” I heard as I opened the door. I found Mikey and Grey sitting on the sofa, hugging, in the back room at Big Daddy’s. Oh well that’s great...

Grey’s eyes looked up to me behind her blue fringe and I swear, my heart ached. She still looked as broken as when I first met her...

My throat was dry as I tried to talk, “Uhh... Sorry. Just wanted to tell you guys you’re on in 10.” I looked into Grey’s eyes. “Um, see you.” I headed back out of the door, shutting it behind me.

Fuck. Now I don’t know anything do I? Why would Mikey tell me that stuff about her if he was planning on doing things? I need to talk to him. Now.

I walked along the hall, when Mikey, Grey and Gerard came bounding past. Okay, Grey wasn’t exactly ‘bounding’... But she was being literally dragged down the hall. I grabbed Mikey’s arm to stop him.

“Hey, woah. What?” He looked impatient, they were on in a minute. I just needed to ask.

“Are you and Grey dating?” I was straight-up with him. I didn’t want any bullshit.

He looked shocked for a moment, then smiled, “No, Frank. I told you she’s worth a try. Even if I cant promise you that she’ll give in, if she does, it’ll be worth it.”

I smiled and nodded, “Thanks Mikey.”

He nodded and ran off. I guess I overreacted..?

* * *

I went to the main room in Big Daddy’s and made my way to the front by the barrier, in front of the stage. I waited for My Chemical Romance to come on, like I did at every show they did. I loved watching them all. Each doing their own, individual thing. But I really loved watching Grey... She was so different and timid compared to the others, even Mikey. I really didn’t know what was going on, but I was really starting to like her.

The band came in with the same song as every show, Skylines and Turnstiles. The whole band had the same energy they have in every show. But... Grey didn’t look so good. She looked kind of... Empty. More so than she usually does.

Here it came... Grey’s seemingly least favourite song to play, Early Sunsets Over Monroeville. I decided to watch her and only her this time. It was basically just like normal, except when it got up to the more intense part. I instantaneously saw the tears in Grey’s eyes behind her fringe.

“And if I had the guts to put this to your head.” Gerard sang the words powerfully. But at that moment, Grey’s guitar dropped to the floor of the stage. She sunk down and ran to the side of the room, out of the back door and into the dark alley...

It’s who I am, but I think I played it off so well. I just hold it in, no matter how I’ve been, so nobody, nobody can tell.

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