Small things

Convenience didn't really stick with me, however, and most conveniently, the keys to my apartment filled my vision within an instant. All I remembered was flinging them somewhere surrounding my couch that sat to the left of the doorway, if one thing was for sure it was that my memory was remarkably good.
Through my small efforts to search, It's glint caught my gaze almost immediately as a single beam of sunlight burst through my terrible attempts of closing the curtains last night. I may have been good at remembering, but some things just don't flash my mind.
The window it had peered from was a lot further behind the couch, past the two steps that led to what I called my 'office room'. Despite it's name, it wasn't even a room, there were no doors closing off from my living space, kitchen, or office room. There was a small hallway towards the opposing wall my door was, that I concluded was there for the sole purpose of the storage closet not being strangely placed. It seemed pointless to exist, but it made my room smaller. Everything did. Even with nothing to block out spaces room-to-room, my apartment still seemed small; not small enough to avoid loosing things though.
I'd found the keys within a pile of mess on the floor where Frank had kicked around some balloons that, surprisingly, weren't full to the brim with paint. There wasn't much else I needed to do before this project, or even knew what to do for it. So, once we'd made our way out of my home and the door was locked behind me, unlike before, I stood; silent. I didn't know what to say or where to lead. What the fuck was I even doing?
"Do you have a roof to this apartment, or a balcony? No, screw that-" Frank paused for a minute, I tried to read his face the entire time. I don't think he'd noticed my stares, which was probably a good thing; I could have made it awkward. Every time he moved, I flinched, reciprocating his movement. It seemed stupid, and it was. I needed to stop acting stupid. I needed to pretend I could interact with people at that moment, because-well, I'm not even sure why. It felt compelling to do so though and if I felt I needed to act this way, then so be it.
"Aha! Come on!" He began leading me to a place he described as 'that coffee shop, y'know? That one?' Which was slightly irritating. How the fuck was I supposed to know if I'd only drank coffee from home? I never understood why people went to coffee shops, they were always small, packed, and full of middle-aged people. At least I thought they were, anyway; I could be wrong, considering I hadn't been to one in, gosh, how long? A year, maybe?
Wow! What a long time I'd spent avoiding the outside and wow! How I still didn't regret it at all!
"Hey Gerard, can I ask you a question?" A question, fuck, what could he want to know, wasn't my name enough?
"Uh...sure."
"Do you uh," his pause made my knees feel weak in the wait to discover his curiosity of myself, "do you wanna paint-bomb people, or the city? I mean, with people, they'd get pissed and probably call the cops. But, if it was the city, we could write things in it and graffiti and- you see where I'm getting at with this?" His eyebrows scrunched, awaiting an answer till they could relax. But the thing was, their await was over soon, because I got it! I knew what we could do! The fire in my chest must have burned bright in my eyes, as he didn't even need me to speak to know. It was as if we were communicating through our expressions, and our expressions only, in that time.
"Fuck! Screw your coffee shop!" I was so glad to say that, even if the place had coffee, the atmosphere wasn't my thing and it felt good to express that in words; usually art was the only way to express emotion, but this day had changed that, and not in a bad way.
Hey, maybe my theory was right! Maybe my instincts were on my side!
"Follow me!"

*

Frank stared when he saw the place I wanted to corrupt. He stared probably because it seemed random, but I knew it'd be good. It was a place where nobody walked by on the majority of days and today was one of those days. It meant that nobody would catch our act; I was thinking logically, you see.
"Why are we looking at an alleyway?" I could feel the smirk on my face grow further, if that was even possible. This idea was genius!
"Okay, what do you think of when you think of alleyways?"
"Uh, I don't know, rape, murder, they're pretty dangerous places to walk down, especially round here,"
"good, good, exactly." I hope he knew I was directing that statement to the fact he was getting my gist, and not the fact these things occurred, "so, alleyways represent danger, in a way, they're almost deadly?"
"Yeah, but what has that got to do with anything?" I was so glad he asked that question.
"Look at the colours we brought! Yellow, red, green...They're such a contradiction! And oh! We could write threats to these idiots! We could remind people that safety is only a step away. Tell them to turn their phones on, call a friend, because this city can be dangerous. Ah! What a better way to contradict danger!" I felt like I was singing, maybe I was. This was exiting, to say the least and, as soon as we began to throw this explosive colour, I began to feel more alive.
To watch as the colours merged and created vermilion hues, was to watch an area come to life and that's what I'd rather things be about: life. This city was dull, like the grey skies they usually had. It was dry, and plain. Sometimes I felt like I was in a black and white movie, I always hated those!
Colour's so important, that's why this alleyway needed it. That's why we had to do it.
We weren't even paint criminals, like Frank had thought we'd be, we were paint saviours, if anything. This town needed saving and with each flick of colour and bold lettering, led a better town; a town I could actually stand.
"I think we've done it!" I was too busy to look at Frank, even when he started talking, which was a change.
"I think we have, but, what makes you think this is gonna' stop anyone from committing crimes? Not our crimes, real fucking crimes."
"...Well, we'll never know exactly, but if there's a chance somebody feels safe from it, or reads the advice, then-"
"then what, the bad guy won't hurt them because they feel safe?" Maybe Frank was right, maybe my actions meant nothing. Maybe my art was nothing; it didn't feel like it, not now, not with those unanswered words. "Hey, Gerard?"
"Yeah," I barely whispered, my attention was focused other places, like the reason I'd done this. Everything was muddling and confusing, it was hard to pick out something that distinguished why I'd thought this was a good idea. It felt like-I didn't know.
"If you're in an alleyway, and there's only us," the next thing he said probably struck chords in me more than any idea had. His words drifted over me like a shiver, running down my spine and tingling my skin. What he said was unmistakably intended to sound unnerving. "What makes you think you're safe right now?" The discomfort I felt when his voice sounded so low, and dead was paining me like acid in my stomach that churned my insides and ate at them.
With every millisecond I stayed frozen, silent, as if almost breathless, the phrase rang clearer and clearer and the theories to it's meaning were grim-becoming deadlier. It was something I couldn't handle. I didn't know what was going to happen. I was scared. I was ill. I shouldn't have left my apartment. I knew there was comfort in security, and the security of my apartment was not to be took for granted, especially with my feelings in this moment.
If safety was really a step away, then that's great. But what if I didn't want to leave? And what if I was more afraid of the fact that Frank wasn't the person I thought he was after saying that than the fact I was in an alleyway, scared? Was there a reason for me to be scared at all? Was there a reason why I could feel the pulse of my heart penetrate through my ear drums? Fear didn't seem to suit my current state, and if fear wasn't engulfing my mind, then what was it? Frank?

Notes

ho ho ho holy shit muffins i hav some IDEAS for this fic now !! Yes !! Im so exited!!