jessie
The guys were all ready to start again, as if they knew Frank would be able to talk me into coming back.

Mikey looked at me with warm coffee-coloured eyes and said simply, "Gerard has something to say to you."

Gerard glared at me and said heavily, "Sorry for reading those lyrics. You don't scare me."
I didn't forgive him, but instead told him that the lyrics were well thought out.

"They don't really fit well with the instrumental part," Ray added. "Why don't we use something else?"

The three agreed and decided that we should work on different lyrics. Mikey, Ray, and my cousin played while Gerard sang a bit of a song that still had a lot of polishing to do. His voice was a little stuffy and out of tune, but I liked it. A lot.

His words rang in my ears, even though I didn't quite understand them.

"The amount of pills I'm taking, counteracts the booze I'm drinking
and this vanity I'm breaking, lets me live my life like this
and well I find it hard to stay, with the words you say
Oh baby let me in
Oh baby let me in
Well I'll choose the life I've taken, never mind the friends I'm making
and the beauty that I'm faking lets me live my life like this
And well I find it hard to stay, with the words you say
Oh baby let me in
Oh baby let me in
And you can cry all you want to, I don't care how much
You'll invest yourself in me, we're not working out (we're not working out)
We're not working out (we're not working out)
And you can't touch my brother and you can't keep my friends
and we're not working out, we're not working out
This time I mean it, never mind the times I've seen it"

"If we can get this down, I'm sure we can record it today," Mikey thought aloud.

"Agreed," Ray said. "Jessie, I'm surprised you've caught on this quickly."

"Yeah, uh," I said, twirling my stick, "thanks." I liked the music. It was angry. Easy for me to catch on.

An abundance of reps and a solid two hours later, Frank told us that we only had the room for another thirty minutes and we needed to get recording. We finished with time to spare and gave the raw tapes to someone that was friends with the guys for editing.

As we were packing our stuff up, Mikey came over to me and whispered, "I'm sorry about my brother. He has a short fuse; I don't know what's wrong with him."

"It's fine," I replied, smiling. "People get upset for different reasons. I'm sure it wasn't just me."

"Probably so. Damn, you're probably the most chill person ever. You really have an awareness about you..."

"Um, thanks." I blushed. I wasn't trying to be chill, really, my reactions just came naturally.

"Yeah," he said. "So we have another rehearsal the day after tomorrow. We're going to be at my place. You in?"

"Of course," I grinned. "See you there."

gerard
It was just her.

Why she pissed me off. It was all her fault.

First and foremost, I hate teenagers. They're so naïve. And I hate being attracted to people, even if I don't necessarily want to be with them. It makes me feel weak and puts me on edge. But I've never been attracted to a teenager.

A really talented one, who was very nice looking, but didn't stand out--her brown hair and brown eyes didn't set her apart--when I'm not that pleasant to look at and I do draw (rather menacing) looks. Who didn't swear, when I do, and could play the drums like a bitch, whereas I can't hardly play the guitar. Who was so relaxed about everything when I blow up about having a kid play for us.

Who was so intriguing, who seemed to hold so many secrets, who buried her personality in shyness and apparently only revealed it to people she felt good with.

And she didn't feel good around me.

Now I'd never even think of trying to get with her, no, but she was so different and I couldn't help but think of her. Was that so wrong?

Rehearsal was at Mikey's and my house on Wednesday, two days later, and I dreaded the prospect of having Frank's cousin in my house. I shouldn't though, once I mulled it over; she was just Frank's cousin and she was just a drummer.

I repeated that to myself all day Tuesday and Wednesday morning, up until the point I opened the door to see my short friend and his kin. Upon laying my eyes on the girl, every cell in my body screamed in delight, my eyes drinking her in, my mind wishing and wanting to know her: her thoughts, her emotions, her aspirations, her dreams...

And then I clicked back into reality when Frank said hello. "Hey, Frank, come on in," I greeted. My friend smiled broadly and stepped inside, leaving a cold Jessie on my front stoop. "Well are you going to come in or are you stupid enough to just stand out there?" I interrogated rather harshly, but it was an accident. I didn't want to come across that way; it just happened.

She slunk into her sweater and looked uncomfortable. I stepped back from the door so she could come in, not before taking a look at the girl. Her hair covered the mark left on her face--still a mystery to me. She had on a very plain outfit: jeans, a sweater, and a scarf. Very typical. But she looked really good. I wasn't dressed to catch any eyes in my hoodie and sweatpants, but hey, it was only rehearsal.

She slipped past me, mumbling some awkward apology. I lead her into the kitchen, where Mikey had poured some coffee for the four of us. I gladly took one and my brother slid a cup to Jessie across the counter.

"No thank you," she said quietly. "I don't drink coffee." What the fuck was wrong with her? Coffee was like the nectar of the punk gods.

Wordlessly, Frank fetched the stepstool we kept for him beside the refrigerator and reached into a cabinet for our teabag jar. Dusty and neglected, he took the jar and offered it to his cousin. She gladly accepted one and Frank boiled a pot of water.

The doorbell rang and I went to answer it. Ray came bounding in holding a flat plastic case.
"Hey guys!" he exclaimed. "We--wait, are you making tea?"

"Yeah, I'm making a cup," Frank responded.

"Make that two, please," grinned Ray. Frank nodded. "Anyways, guess what? John had some spare time and finished the editing! Would you all like to hear it?"

The guys all said some variation of, "yes," and Jessie beamed. She had a great smile. Ray put the CD in our player and cranked the volume up. It actually sounded pretty good.

When the song ended, as if on cue, the tea kettle whistled. Our first cheering crowd. Someday we'd have a whole lot more than just boiling water.

The five of us took a seat in the living room; Mikey, Frank, and I with our coffee and Ray and Jessie with their tea. Now's not the time to go John Lennon on us, buddy, I thought.

"So, any ideas for what we should do?" I asked, hoping someone would have a miracle of a song that would skyrocket us to the top of the charts. "Or are we ready to release this album? We already have eleven tracks."

Ray shifted his position, cradling his mug. "Gerard, you said that you had it all figured out. That you knew exactly what was going to happen for this album. You don't have any more material written. Why would you second guess yourself?"

I glared at Ray, then at Jessie. "Because," I said sharply, "we have different... influences."

Again, Jessie shrunk into herself, her scarf now covering her neck and her nose. I felt a surge of power. I was able to control her just by mentioning her presence. It wasn't so great that I made her uncomfortable, but the ability to do so made me feel in control. I could only dream to have my music make people feel something, but I loved being able to make her squirm.

jessie
What was wrong with that guy? I hadn't done a thing to him.

My Chemical Romance was great. I loved the music. I adored Ray and Mikey, even though I've only known them for three days. The whole idea of a band was just cool to me.

I liked Gerard's lyrics. I liked is voice. Heck, I liked his face. But the fact that he pointed out that I was there and embarrassed me was enough for me to reconsider doing this project as easily as I had agreed to do it. I liked to blend in. I preferred staying in the shadows, but he just called me to attention. I don't know why it humiliated me so much. He scowled at me every chance he got and looked discontent whenever I was given any pointers.

Based on my experiences in the past, I learned to not speak my mind and not get in the way. That always caused trouble for me.

The four continued the meeting, and if I was asked my opinion, I only shrugged. They came to the unanimous decision that they were ready to release it. Their original plan was to release it in June, but it was May now, so they thought it would be best to be delayed another month, for editing and cleaning and all.

Gerard's Nokia rang, and as soon as he picked it up, he smiled. He walked out of the room and returned beaming, offering many thanks to whoever was on the other line. Mikey, Ray, and Frank all watched him with wide eyes as he hung up and cheered.

"We got a gig!"

The four congratulated and hugged each other, but I just stood aside and watched. They were all so happy.

"John gave a copy of Vampires Will Never Hurt You to the owner of this fancy lounge right outside of town," Gerard explained. "The guy loved it and said we were welcome to come play once the album was out!" He eventually glanced at me and frowned.

The rehearsal--which turned out to be just a discussion--eventually finished, just like we did to our drinks. Everyone was in a state of euphoria.

Frank tossed me the keys to his car and said, "Hey, Jessie, go on home. I have some things to work out with Gerard regarding the album. Tell my mom I might not be home until morning, okay?"

"Sure," I said simply.

Ray walked out with me. "So you and Frank live together?"

"Yep," I responded, keeping my eyes on the ground.

"Oh, why?"

"I have, ever since my mom left. That's all."

He could tell that there was more to the story, but left it alone. We went to our respective cars and drove away.

Notes

I've gotten over 200 reads, and I know it's not a lot for most people, but as I just started my MCR FanFiction account over again and this is a new story, I'm pretty effing pleased c:

It means so much when y'all comment, good or bad, because I love feedback. I'm updating whenever I can, I promise.

xoxo
gerweird