jessie
Tuesday, July 23rd came, and that marked an important event. The album was out.

For the most part, the people who had downloaded the singles on MySpace were instantly drawn to it and purchased it--meaning we had the start of a fanbase. From there, shows.

Gerard, Matt, Ray, Mikey, and later Frank had all played before in bars and other venues. My Chemical Romance already played somewhere down in Ewing a couple of weeks after their first songs were written, and later on they did a few shows in dumpy places, but tonight, it was a step up: a lounge. It was a small lounge, not much more than a bar with a place to sit down and enjoy live music. I was more than nervous, and I could tell that the rest of the guys were a little less so. This show would be the first after the release of Bullets, and it was imperative to get it perfect. At least, that's how it seemed from my perspective. The anticipation was killing me.

I stepped out of the steaming shower that morning and got dressed in nothing particularly fancy. Frank was already up, even though it was only eight o'clock and he never even considered getting out of bed before eleven. I went over to the kitchen table, where he sat, nursing a cup of coffee. He looked up to me.

"Hey," he said, smiling almost mischievously . "You know what tonight is?"

I sat down next to him, pulling my wet hair into a bun so it didn't drip on the floor. I was painfully aware of the short, yet noticeable, scar on the side of my face, but I tried not to worry. It was only Frank. "Of course I know what tonight is. I'm really nervous, actually."

He chuckled softly. "You shouldn't be. It's not too bad. You've performed in front of bigger crowds before."

"I guess," I said. Playing in a high school concert band didn't count. This had so much more pressure put on it, but Frank wouldn't agree.

The sound of a tea kettle rang through the house, and Frank stood up. He came back a minute later with a cup of tea in hand and gave it to me. I thanked him, and we just sat there for a moment in silence. Again, a noise shattered the atmosphere, but this time, it was the doorbell. Frank nor I had a chance to answer it before Aunt Linda did, who lead Mikey and Gerard back to the kitchen where we were. My aunt didn't seemed pleased to have more twenty year olds in her house, but I knew that they would probably just take Frank and leave.

Frank and Mikey began talking about preparations on how to get instruments and equipment to the lounge, and informed me that there would be a standard drum kit already there. They moved to our garage, where Frank's new guitar and amps were stored. It was Gerard who was left with me, just standing there, and started a conversation.

He kept his arms crossed and took off the sunglasses he had been wearing, exposing his hazel eyes. God, I loved just looking at them. "Your first gig, huh?" he said, sounding like he was an expert talking to a student.

"For this band, yeah," I said. I felt awkward sitting down and looking straight up at him, so I offered the chair Frank had stood up from, which he took. "This'll start up some hype, I suppose." When he sat down, I faintly smelled cigarettes.

"Yeah," he agreed. "You nervous?"

I wanted to pretend like I wasn't--because nerves show weakness--so I made some sort of noncommittal gesture that didn't confirm or deny his inquiry. Gerard nodded, understanding. He reached over and put his hand on top of mine, saying, "We'll do just fine."

My heart sped up at his touch. I could feel my anxiety levels rising but did not shrug off his hand. I instead flipped my hand over so my palm was facing his and interlocked our fingers. He looked me in the eye without a word and half-grinned. Offering a gentle expression, I whispered, "I know."

We both cast our gazes downwards, mine catching the sight of our hands together. His fit just right into mine and again, I grinned softly then bit my lower lip. I felt myself blushing profusely, and I discovered that, when I looked back up at Gerard, he was too. I didn't want the moment to end, but the door to the garage opened and my cousin and Mikey returned, so Gerard immediately retracted back and we had to act like we didn't just have a moment.

A moment.

Mikey and Gerard left with Frank's guitar and amplifiers in tow. The evening came quicker than I expected. The wait was over. When I went downstairs, Frank was already waiting for me. He was dressed in dark jeans and a black hoodie. I had somewhat mimicked this, wearing the same dark denim jeans and a black turtleneck, as well as having chalked some black eyeliner around my eyes.

Frank looked deep in thought, assessing my appearance. "You look a little bit like one of the Beatles," he commented.

I was mildly taken aback by this. It was the turtleneck. "Well, what do you want me to do?" I asked, fully aware that my cousin was only picky about this sort of thing when he needed to be.

"Can you wear one of my shirts and a choker?" he wondered.

I shook my head. "A choker wouldn't cut it."

He pondered for another moment before fetching his leather jacket from the hallway closet. "Looks better," he said when I put it on.

As hot as I knew it was going to be, I did like the way it felt. I knew I would survive the night in it. That is, if I survived the night at all.

gerard
By the time we got to the lounge--which was really just a fancy club--my heart was in my throat. That was partly due to the fact we had a show, and I wasn't quite comfortable performing yet, but the jittery feeling escalated when I saw Frank's car pull up behind the building where Mikey and I just parked and Jessie stepped out, wearing leather and clutching a long bag that held her drumsticks. As she got closer, I noticed she was wearing dark makeup, which she never did. She looked good--dare I say, hot. She caught me looking at her and gave a hint of a smile before giving her attention to Ray, who was introducing her to the owner of the joint. He lead her inside through the back entrance, most likely in order to set up her drums before the show started.

Mikey, Frank, and Ray got their guitars and amps out from the back of our van, disgruntled muttering coming from their direction. It was something about how no decent club could have drums but lack amplifiers. I lent them a hand, ending up carrying both Ray's and Mikey's instruments while they lugged the other equipment to the door.

The show started and we opened with "Vampires Will Never Hurt You," since it was our first single. I kept glancing back at Jessie, who seemed a bit flustered. I knew she was anxious about playing in front of people, as much as she denied it to me. We continued our set, and it went surprisingly well. The audience seemed to love it, and we announced that the album was already for sale. The crowd favourite was "Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough For The Two Of Us," and that happened to be the track I liked best as well. When we wrapped up, everyone in the band was a mess, sweaty and exhausted from the show. But it felt so good--the endorphin rush was a whole lot more filling than anything I had ever experienced.

The show was over at about ten and Mikey, Frank, and Ray began to load their equipment up again. I kept my eye on Jessie, who went around the other side of the stage as I did. But when I eventually saw her from across backstage hidden behind the curtain, she came running up to me, seeming very excited.

What was a purely spontaneous move, I picked her up in a hug and spun her around. I set her back down and she was beaming. I was still high on the energy of the music.
"That--" I said, breathless, "that was amazing!" My hands remained locked around her waist, so we were really close, only our upper bodies separated. I was sweating still and almost felt self-conscious, but I knew she was the same way and wouldn't care.

"You were amazing," she corrected. "You're the frontman, after all."

I was flattered but just shook my head. "We all were. God, that was just unbelievable." We were so giddy and excited, something that was quite out of character for us both. But how could we not be?

Jessie wrapped her arms around my neck and brought me in for another hug. This time, instead of letting go, she just pulled back her head sightly and looked at me with wide, innocent eyes. She stood on her tiptoes, and we were both leaning into each other.

Before anything else could happen, our foreheads collided. She cringed and giggled. I was somewhat amused at how embarrassed she seemed. "God," she muttered, playing off how awkward it was with faint laughter.

"How else can we ruin the mood?" I whispered, chuckling softly. She smiled and rolled her eyes. We tried again, and her soft lips met mine. I'd kissed girls before, admittedly not many, but nothing was like this. Nothing was as clumsy or cute or just as lovely as kissing her.
Time passed. It may have been seconds, it may have been hours. But it didn't matter. Jessie was here, in my arms. It was something I'd only dreamed of when I was trying not to think of her. I had anticipated this moment for a long time. When we finally let each other go, she blushed and looked at the ground.

"That was also amazing," I said quietly, and honestly. She chuckled softly. I was such a fucking dork. "Am I still too old for you?" She shook her head, most likely remembering what she told me at my house a week ago. "Good." My heart was beating--I prayed that she couldn't hear it--and I was very undone, but I felt her lingering on my lips and only wanted to kiss her again and again. I took her hand in mine for the second time that day and walked with her out back to where the guys had finished loading up, only to drop it so no one else would have a hint of what just happened.

Frank closed the van door and said to us, "Where were you guys? It would have been really fucking helpful to have two extra people putting this shit up." I swallowed thickly. I could feel three pairs of eyes scrutinizing us, namely my brother's.

"The owner caught up with us," Jessie said, not missing a beat. "He wanted to thank us for a great night." It should have been more concerning that she was able to come up with that excuse so quickly, but as sharp as her wit was, I didn't think twice about it.

"It really was good. I can tell that we're on the right track," Ray agreed. Frank and I nodded. "How 'bout a few beers, on me?"

"No-can-do," Frank said. "Some of us aren't of age." He couldn't legally drink yet but did anyways. I knew he specifically meant Jessie.

"Yeah," Mikey said, "I'm pretty tired as well. I think me and Gerard should just hit the road." He narrowed his eyes at me in an inquisitive manner. I felt like protesting, but I knew he was right.
"Ah, okay," said Ray. "Some other time then." We all agreed and said our goodbyes. Jessie and I exchanged knowing glances.

As I got into the driver's seat of the van with Mikey by my side, he said, "You two didn't talk to the owner, did you?" I shook my head, not expecting that he'd catch on so quickly. "Well, you need to. He hasn't payed us yet."

"Okay," I said, and hopped out of the van, ready to collect our earnings.

Mikey stopped me. "And Gerard?"

"Yeah?"

"You need to be careful with her."

I wasn't sure what he meant, but I didn't ask. I walked back into the building to find the owner, realizing that having any sort of relationship with Jessie other than bandmate was going to be precarious. I didn't want to hurt her, or Frank, or myself. It was a bit like walking on broken glass. Albeit risky, I was willing to continue with it. She was just too extraordinary to let go.

Notes

So... This was quite a chapter, eh?

My author's notes are always so dorky I'm sorry

I've honestly had this chapter planned out since I began this story and have rewritten it probably three times. I've been procrastinating on publishing it until now because I feel like the story needed a bit more development instead of going headfirst into romance.

If you'd like, vote and comment what you think—it always makes me smile when you do :)

xoxo
gerweird