Gerard was sat with his back against Franks pillows, Frank sitting between his legs, head leaning back on his chest. His hands were resting on the bed, shaking nervously. He'd never told anyone what'd happened before, the only people who knew were those involved. So, his mother, father, Mikey, and Bert. He trusted Frank but there was a twisting feeling in his gut that told him this would ruin everything. He jumped slightly when hands landed on his own, fingers gently lacing between his shaking ones.

"It's okay, Gee, I'm here for you. You know that." Frank said softly, turning and lightly kissing Gerards lips. It worried him how nervous Gerard was. I mean, what happened couldn't have been that bad, right? Gerard gave Frank a small smile, taking in a few deep breaths before starting to talk.

"I-It started when I was 16. I uh.. Met a guy named Bert and well.. He was my first boyfriend. The only one, besides you, actually. The relationship was great at fisrt. He helped me except that I'm gay, helped me come out to my family." Gerard stopped talking for a few minutes, and Frank waited patiently, rubbing soothing circles on his hands.

"After awhile he started getting drunk a lot, and that meant he wanted me to drink too. And because I thought.. I thought I needed him, that I loved him, I did. I drank so much, Frankie." He paused again, feeling tears well up in his eyes. After a few more deep breaths and Frank whispering that it was okay, he continued talking.

"Eventually the drinking wasn't enough for him, and he started taking pills too. And I went with it. I was always wasted or high or some pills or both. I skipped school most of the time and was an asshole to Mikey. This went on for a year. The reason I stopped was because I went into the h-hospital. I had some kind of alcohol poisoning and to many pills in my system. Luckily they saved me, b-but I was in the hospital for a long time.

Once I was out I was constantly being watched over by my mom. At school all the teachers knew what happened. After awhile Bert tried to talk to me again. I broke it off, but I still talked to

him sometimes. When I felt like shit. He tried getting me to drink again, and I almost did. But I realized how much shit I put my parents and Mikey through and told him never to speak to me again. That lasted a few months. The.. The last time I saw him was the second day I'd seen you." Gerard said slowly, eyes squeezing closed as he thought about that day. He told Frank everything as he thought about, but he wasn't focused on that.

*What happened that day*

"C'mon Gerard, just one drink." Bert teased, a smirk on his face.
"Fuck off." Gerard grumbled, fists clenching at his sides. Bert just chuckled, lifting his glass up and downing the drink within seconds.
"Your no fun anymore, Geeee." Bert whined, emphasizing Gerards nickname, and leaning into his side. Gerard rolled his eyes, running a hand through his bright red hair. "Why do you do this, Bert? We're not together anymore, I've quit drinking. I've got nothing for you." He said, sighing and resting his head on the table. Bert hiccuped, squinted his eyes, took another drink of his beer, and slurred his answer.
"be-because, I looooove you!" Gerard's face paled and he sighed, knowing he would break eventually. Bert ordered two more drinks, sliding one to Gerard who wearily reached out, picking up the glass and downing the drink. Awhile later Gerard was drunk off his ass, stumbling home only to find the front and back doors of his house locked. This is what led him to Franks window and the idea to knock on it.

*back to present time*

Frank was quiet for a few minutes, trying to comprehend everything he'd just been told. He was aware of the sniffles leaving Gerard, of the slight shake of his shoulders. He wanted to turn around and comfort him but he couldn't, not yet anyways. He wasn't mad, anything but mad. But he was scared. He knew Gerard was drinking again, maybe not as bad, but he was still doing it. If he ended up in the hospital again, Frank didn't know what he'd do. An immediate feeling of hatred washed over Frank, which was something completely foreign to him. He hated Bert for what he'd done to Gerard, for making him feel like he had to be anything but sober to be good enough. A sudden sob had Frank breaking out of his thoughts, turning around so his legs were on either side of Gerards hips. There were tears rapidly falling from Gerards eyes, his body shaking with the choked sobs leaving his lips. His heart clenched and he internally swore at himself. Gerard probably thought he was mad.
"Baby? Hey, Gee." Frank cooed softly when Gerard looked away from him. Gerard just cried harder, flinching when Franks fingers lifted his chin up.
"It's alright, it's alright." Frank mumbled over and over, peppering kisses all over Gerards face. A choked, breathy laugh fell from Gerards lips and he looked up into Franks eyes.
"Y-You don't hate me?" He asked, clearly afraid of the answer. Frank shook his head, leaning closer so his lips were ghosting over Gerards.
"No, I don't hate you." He said seriously, putting a hand on either side of Gerards face, connecting their lips. He needed this, Gerard needed this. After a few minutes they pulled apart, Frank resting his forehead against Gerards.
"Thank you." Gerard mumbled, wrapping his arms around Franks waist. Franks eyebrows rose and he moved back a bit, a questioning look on his face. Gerard chuckled lightly, squeezing Franks waist.
"For listening. And for not being angry with me." He explained, and Frank smiled, running a hand through Gerards hair.

"You don't have to thank me for that, Gerard. Just... Just please tell me if you feel like drinking. I don't want to lose you."

Notes