You should have never come
Chapter 28
...“Shit,” Frank breathes from behind me and I squeak uncontrollably as his hand firmly grasps my waist.
Narrator’s POV
Both guys froze, listening to the sounds of running water coming from the bathroom. Frank’s fingers unconsciously dug into Gerard’s side, pulling him closer and completely closing in the space between them. The red haired boy ignored the pain in his hip and leaned into the counselor, practically pressing him into the wall. Somehow, this way it felt safer for both of them - in each other’s embrace, they were invincible.
Frank felt Gerard tremble against him, and his own heart was was skipping in his chest like a crazy pony. He knew about Gerard’s panic attacks and even got to see the boy pass out from one, and he was honestly starting to get freaked out about Gerard’s current state. He was trying to think of what to say to calm him down, but he simply couldn’t find the right words. The best line he could come up with was “It’s gonna be okay, Ballash won’t dare to smash my brains out against the wall with you watching,”, but he decided against voicing it.
Frank tried to think rationally. If Diego saw them kissing, what did it mean for them? Frank’s conversation with Ballash from several nights ago flooded his mind, sending a light chill down his spine. Shit, Ballash was the last thing Frank wanted to think about right now.
“If I find out that you came in contact with him, I'll move you to the elementary group or send you back home, I swear," Ballash’s deep, angry voice rung in his ears, almost leaving an echo after itself. Ballash had a nice voice for opera: it was deep and clear, and Frank could bet that the older counselor could have a success in that area.
What the fuck?
Gerard nuzzled his face in the crook of Frank’s slightly sweaty tattooed neck, breathing heavily. Frank lifted his hand to run it through the boy’s long hair- at that moment, it seemed like the most soothing thing he could think of. The counselor himself wasn’t really all that worried about Diego seeing them- he was sure that they’d find a way out. Plus, Diego was Gerard’s friend, he wouldn’t want to get them into trouble.
Honestly, the whole situation was so fucked up and unfair that Frank just wanted to punch the cement wall until he thought of a solution or at least until he broke his fingers. It was ridiculous, really- Frank was 19, only two years older than Gerard, what harm could them being together do? This can’t even be considered pedophilia (yes, Frank has done his research), so what’s the problem?
Are they breaking the law? No. Do they suck on each others tongues in front of the kids from the elementary group? No, they hardly ever talk, let alone hold hands! Why aren’t Frank’s efforts of avoiding Gerard’s gaze or even looking at him for more than two seconds appreciated? However, Frank was suspecting that Ballash knew what was going on, at least to some degree. Sure, Ballash might not have the highest education or just the best mindset in general, but he must have been noticing things, no matter how much Frank avoids Gerard.
Suddenly Frank felt Gerard start to slowly sink to the floor. A low, pained groan fell from the pale boy’s lips, and the counselor quickly wrapped his strong arms around his waist, pulling him up to his feet. He knew that Gerard was losing his consciousness, and he could do absolutely nothing about it. He has never been taught how to treat panic attacks, for God’s sake!
He moved his hands from Gerard’s waist onto his shoulders and gently shook him, hoping that the action would get him back to his senses.
Gerard himself had no idea what he was supposed to think or feel, all the knew was that he was terrified and he couldn’t help it.
“Baby?” Frank uttered, trying to see any signs of life in the boy’s pale, almost white face. This is the first time Frank has called anyone baby in his whole life. Somehow, he felt awkward repeating it so he returned to the nickname. “Gee, you okay?”
Gerard feebly nodded his head and closed his eyes, trying to collect his mind and emotions together. He wouldn’t freak out, not now… He didn’t want Frank to witness one of his fits. He lowered his head, staring at the carpeted floor.
Frank’s hands moved from Gerard’s shoulders and grabbed Gerard’s hands. The counselor dropped onto his knees in front of the boy.
“Shh, Gerard, listen, it’s going to be okay, trust me,” Frank mumbled quickly, his speech slightly slurred from worry. His pupils were wide-blown. His grip on Gerard’s hands tightened before becoming loose again. “You are freaking out, you need to calm down,” he spoke, rubbing his thumb over Gerard’s knuckles.
“Are they… Is he going to send you back to America?” Gerard asked and Frank eagerly shook his head.
“No no, he won’t… You’re overreacting, it’s okay,”
“I know, I can’t help it,” Gerard said, darting his teary eyes to the floor.
Frank immediately leaned under him, lifting his head to look into his sad eyes.
“Oh my god, Gerard no, don’t you dare blame yourself!”
A treacherous tear slid down the boy’s cheek before he had a chance to wipe it away. It dropped onto the floor, missing Frank just by a few inches. He felt guilty, as if the whole situation was on his hands.
“I’m just over-sensitive, I guess,” he said quietly, trying to hide the shakiness in his voice. He even managed to force out a laugh. “I just really don’t want you to go,”
“I’m not leaving Gee, I promise,”
Narrator’s POV
Both guys froze, listening to the sounds of running water coming from the bathroom. Frank’s fingers unconsciously dug into Gerard’s side, pulling him closer and completely closing in the space between them. The red haired boy ignored the pain in his hip and leaned into the counselor, practically pressing him into the wall. Somehow, this way it felt safer for both of them - in each other’s embrace, they were invincible.
Frank felt Gerard tremble against him, and his own heart was was skipping in his chest like a crazy pony. He knew about Gerard’s panic attacks and even got to see the boy pass out from one, and he was honestly starting to get freaked out about Gerard’s current state. He was trying to think of what to say to calm him down, but he simply couldn’t find the right words. The best line he could come up with was “It’s gonna be okay, Ballash won’t dare to smash my brains out against the wall with you watching,”, but he decided against voicing it.
Frank tried to think rationally. If Diego saw them kissing, what did it mean for them? Frank’s conversation with Ballash from several nights ago flooded his mind, sending a light chill down his spine. Shit, Ballash was the last thing Frank wanted to think about right now.
“If I find out that you came in contact with him, I'll move you to the elementary group or send you back home, I swear," Ballash’s deep, angry voice rung in his ears, almost leaving an echo after itself. Ballash had a nice voice for opera: it was deep and clear, and Frank could bet that the older counselor could have a success in that area.
What the fuck?
Gerard nuzzled his face in the crook of Frank’s slightly sweaty tattooed neck, breathing heavily. Frank lifted his hand to run it through the boy’s long hair- at that moment, it seemed like the most soothing thing he could think of. The counselor himself wasn’t really all that worried about Diego seeing them- he was sure that they’d find a way out. Plus, Diego was Gerard’s friend, he wouldn’t want to get them into trouble.
Honestly, the whole situation was so fucked up and unfair that Frank just wanted to punch the cement wall until he thought of a solution or at least until he broke his fingers. It was ridiculous, really- Frank was 19, only two years older than Gerard, what harm could them being together do? This can’t even be considered pedophilia (yes, Frank has done his research), so what’s the problem?
Are they breaking the law? No. Do they suck on each others tongues in front of the kids from the elementary group? No, they hardly ever talk, let alone hold hands! Why aren’t Frank’s efforts of avoiding Gerard’s gaze or even looking at him for more than two seconds appreciated? However, Frank was suspecting that Ballash knew what was going on, at least to some degree. Sure, Ballash might not have the highest education or just the best mindset in general, but he must have been noticing things, no matter how much Frank avoids Gerard.
Suddenly Frank felt Gerard start to slowly sink to the floor. A low, pained groan fell from the pale boy’s lips, and the counselor quickly wrapped his strong arms around his waist, pulling him up to his feet. He knew that Gerard was losing his consciousness, and he could do absolutely nothing about it. He has never been taught how to treat panic attacks, for God’s sake!
He moved his hands from Gerard’s waist onto his shoulders and gently shook him, hoping that the action would get him back to his senses.
Gerard himself had no idea what he was supposed to think or feel, all the knew was that he was terrified and he couldn’t help it.
“Baby?” Frank uttered, trying to see any signs of life in the boy’s pale, almost white face. This is the first time Frank has called anyone baby in his whole life. Somehow, he felt awkward repeating it so he returned to the nickname. “Gee, you okay?”
Gerard feebly nodded his head and closed his eyes, trying to collect his mind and emotions together. He wouldn’t freak out, not now… He didn’t want Frank to witness one of his fits. He lowered his head, staring at the carpeted floor.
Frank’s hands moved from Gerard’s shoulders and grabbed Gerard’s hands. The counselor dropped onto his knees in front of the boy.
“Shh, Gerard, listen, it’s going to be okay, trust me,” Frank mumbled quickly, his speech slightly slurred from worry. His pupils were wide-blown. His grip on Gerard’s hands tightened before becoming loose again. “You are freaking out, you need to calm down,” he spoke, rubbing his thumb over Gerard’s knuckles.
“Are they… Is he going to send you back to America?” Gerard asked and Frank eagerly shook his head.
“No no, he won’t… You’re overreacting, it’s okay,”
“I know, I can’t help it,” Gerard said, darting his teary eyes to the floor.
Frank immediately leaned under him, lifting his head to look into his sad eyes.
“Oh my god, Gerard no, don’t you dare blame yourself!”
A treacherous tear slid down the boy’s cheek before he had a chance to wipe it away. It dropped onto the floor, missing Frank just by a few inches. He felt guilty, as if the whole situation was on his hands.
“I’m just over-sensitive, I guess,” he said quietly, trying to hide the shakiness in his voice. He even managed to force out a laugh. “I just really don’t want you to go,”
“I’m not leaving Gee, I promise,”
Notes
A short chapter to tease you guys
Addition to the previous a/n: Gerard Way's penis through his jeans:
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/96/5b/c8/965bc885c279d3fa0824bef5effcbf68.jpg
http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/111/4/7/gerard_way_by_alamniezmusilaxd-d3eiur2.jpg
http://cdn2.crushable.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/71115d5_way_g_b_gr_04.jpg
http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/samlovesgerard/default/gerard-yeyeye-liking-bulge-haha--large-msg-118298224443.jpg
just look closely, you might not see it at first but there's always a well defined outline
This was actually the first fanfiction I ever read. (Hence that was like a year and a half ago)
5/1/17