Life On The Murder Scene

"I'd rather fuck a dead horse than the Chief! even if i had to, i'd probably be flattened!" Jimmy laughed out, taking another sip from his strawberry milkshake.
We were in the games room as our day off for a couple of hours, then it'll be lunch, then the weekly support group for our assigned section. I was with Jimmy, Lindsey, Patrick, Ray and Pete. I knew it would be soon enough before another fight broke out between us, so i was trying to be as friendly as i could with my hands by my sides.
"Jimmy's funny isn't he Pete?" I shifted on the teared leather couch to grin at Pete, his fringe now covering both eyes, only his droopy mouth showing.
"I guess....depends on what you call funny." He sighed, actually communicating with me this time.
"I'd say he's funny...unless your referring to your face being your kind of personal joke!" Lindsey blurted out, her legs swinging off the armrest of the couch. Every one let out a snigger, Pete's fringe even further down his face now, and Lindsey choking on her bubblegum.
"I find everything funny now." Pete whispered, trailing off to the doorway. There was something about his step and the way he talked that meant being friends with anyone was out of bounds. Like everyone, i wanted to know more about him and not just his sly character. His frown gave me the chills, reminding me of when we fought and he obviously lost. I hated having to be nemesis's with people, but frankly it seemed the best option whilst i stayed here. It wasn't necessarily about making friends, making out, or making love, even though Gerard bearing cuffs was my life. It was about making it through all these years here with ought earning worse reputation, or getting yourself on someones kill list whilst you do so.
Before he trailed around the corner and out of sight, he looked at me at grinned. I took this normally and just as a nice gesture, until his middle finger came into the picture. Soon after that, he was gone. Mad and delusional as always.
"You guys friends?" Ray asked, leaning so far up against the pacman machine that he was close to breaking through its weak frame.
"Far from it!" Silence filled the room for a bit. "You and Pete are nemesis's...aren't you Patrick?"
"Um.....m-maybe." He gulped, not surprisingly edging away from me. I shouldn't of brought up anything like that, certainly after hearing from him yesterday. I just felt that everyone was far past the point of knowing each others stories, accept from me.
"Sorry, i shouldn't of asked." Silence drew again. "Listen...i'm gonna go off to find Gerard."
"Your not allowed out of here unless you've gotta good excuse." Jimmy ran across to the doorway to block me from going out. I'm guessing as well as the staff wanting a good enough excuse, he did too. It was probably best that i didn't lie to them, even though i didn't even know what i wanted to do in the first place. It seemed that all the emotion became physically drained from me this morning.
I had woken up to see no sign of Gerard. That was when my head wanted to hit the rock solid pillow again and fall back to sleep. I hadn't known him forever, although it felt like it. Who would ever trust me with stories in that much depth? I had the reputation outside of here for spilling everyone's secrets. Then again, back then i hated everyone and anything. If i could get away with something, even if it would get me in a lot of shit, i would do it. It was like a game, just like how everything in life felt to me, so whenever i hurt someone the joke was on everyone.
People would remark 'Is this a game to you?', the answer was always 'yes'. I didn't have no time to guess or think it over, it just came to me like all the stupid things in life would. I would receive the most torturous things and then i'd find a way to get around them, sadly the gun i gave myself wasn't something i could easily escape. It was probably like that for Bert. That gun was his only escape from creating an abyss in the most delicate thing of his life, after that he would live like any boring person would. Jimmy had his car which, although he planned to use, it still became a consequence bigger than the one he set himself out for.
"I just want to see Gerard, Jimmy." I answered lazily, i was leaning against the other side of the door frame to hold myself and my other thoughts up and keep them stable.
"You and Gerard have something going on?" He smirked, leaning closer to me. With all these ridiculous things in my mind, it didn't help that Jimmy was being so nosy. I expected it though, from him and everyone, who would be engrossed in some broken-hearted love story? It was just me who probably felt that way, after all i did force Gerard to kiss me. He even replied afterwards but then walked off and we haven't talked since.
"You like him don't you?" Lindsey asked from the other side of the room. I was tempted now to move underneath jimmy's arm blocking the doorway and make a run for it.
"M-maybe..." I replied. Jimmy could tell i'd stiffened up in the doorway a bit, obviously nervous.
"Aw, Frankie's got a crush!" Jimmy mocked, bouncing on his heels.
"I-it's not just a crush.." I know thought it was best to spill everything. Even if it got out, it wouldn't matter. Everything in here was concealed, just like the bars of my cell and metal doors.
"You know the rules?" Ray added.
"Of COURSE i do, that's why i DIDN'T want to tell YOU!" I felt my body rack. This was a big deal to me. I think i was desperately falling for Gerard and it was happening dangerously fast.
"Has anything happened?" Jimmy's voice was more quit now, his cocky side now gone. Maybe he was starting to realize that i actually cared, maybe he realized that things were more serious then he took them for.
"W-we....." I paused for a moment, being careful not to exaggerate or say everything to fast. "We....kissed."
"What?!" They all blurted out at the same time, Patrick's voice louder than before.
"Well....er h-he kissed me." In this point in time, i was guessing my lip was bleeding from my grip on it. "It was o-only quick though..."
"Frank! Do you know what will happen to both of you if you get caught?" Lindsey's voice was high and eyes were wide. All of them were now standing around me by the doorway, all there concentration solely directed to me. It wasn't a moment i should of felt special for attention though. Right now i felt guilty for committing a crime in the rules of the prison, and for doing something slightly intimate with a cop.
Gerard's face was stuck in my mind the whole conversation. His smile with all those tiny teeth, and floppy hair that bounced of his pale face. I wantd to run to him now more than ever, but the gravitational pull of this chat was keeping me here with them.
"I-i t-think i love him guys..." That's all i could say as they watched me. My heart was beating and i was tense, running away from this was now an option. I needed to end the conversation.
"I-i need to go." The words quickly slipped before i made my way into the empty corridor.
"Suit yourself." I heard Jimmy call as i left. Knowing them, they wouldn't risk something like that, or care for any relationships here. Itw as my first week though and it wouldn't matter if i got the slight reputation of rebelling against the chief.
Luckily no one was patrolling the corridors of the first three floors. I just had three more to go and hope that no one was there. I ran up the steps, passing the white wash walls and sickly colored doors, hearing screams and yells from all cells in every direction. Soon, i reached the fifth floor, one more before i could get to Gerard, hopefully on patrol duty.
When i swung open the door, i saw Hayley whistling away with her back against the closet door of her floor. I gulped and tried to keep it down. I didn't think she liked me the slightest, but if she knew i was hear to see Gerard she might soften up a bit. They were good friends i heard from him, so how hard would it be for us to be paly with each other?
"FRANK IERO, COME HERE!" I heard Hayley shout, eyes firmly locked on mine. I could shuffle into a ball or crawl into the shadows to hide, she knew i was there.
"Um....Hayley." I stood up with her hand on my sleeve tugging me towards her. Up close her orange hair had seen better days, maybe the reason for it sticking up being that she had little sleep.
"That's my name, don't wear it out." She sighed. "What are you doing out of the games room?"
"I wanted to speak to Gee..." I murmured, hands behind my back nervously. It wasn't the trick of looking innocent that i was doing, it was the fact of being scared i would be sent back to that room.
"Well.....fine then. Just because were friends and you don't look to shady." She pushed me forward a bit and on my way. Hayley wasn't the type of girl you could instantly connect with straight away, it takes time. For me, i was very close to actually having a full on conversation with her that was positive.
I carried on across the corridor, near to the stairs where i ran up them quickly. It didn't matter how loud i was being now. No one would see me in there locked cells up there, they would just hear me making a racket as usual. In time they would recognize the noise was coming from me and that i was a pest who should be avoided.
"Gerard! Gee! Way! Mr.Way! Cop!" I shouted each one out as i came up to the desolate corridor where my cell was. I could tell he was walking around here because of the fresh scent of tobacco and the clicking of shoes coming nearer.
I saw him walk round the corner, with a sharp grin on his face, before i knew my breathing had hitched. He was wearing a different jacket from yesterday, of course it was still probably soaked. It was darker, made of pure leather, and clung to his frame like the scent he wore. It was striking, and with his tight fitting jeans it made me squirm slightly. Hopefully he didn't see me scatter my eyes around his thighs and chest, especially after yesterday when i displayed myself to him like that.
"Call me Gee, Frankie." He came to a halt only a couple of inches from my face, a wave of heat flushing over my body. "Why are you here?"
"Um..well, i wanted to talk to you." I stuttered. Apart from before we kissed, i'd never seen him so up close before. He had soft pale lips, and his eyes were like ringlets of sapphire. Right now i had the burning desire to kiss him and drag him with me back to my cell.
"Ah yeah...sorry about disappearing yesterday. I'm just so fucking awkward like that." He scratched the back of his neck. "Sorry again....for swearing."
"Oh, it's fine." He was the only one who i could put up with listening to them swear. It slipped off his lips so easily and hit me straight. Now, i was lost for words, quite like the moment where i was forced to shoot those idiots. The whole corridor was silent, like everyone was watching us. We were round the corner slightly so no one could see us, the cctv just missing the fact that they could capture us if they were angled better.
"I'm just used to it o-"
"Gee it's seriously fine." I lent against the wall, our faces still close and my fingers reaching his. "In fact i find it quite hot."
"Oh god....Frankie not here. Plus we've only just met." His face scrunched up a bit. I knew he wanted to blurt everything out, however it was not that easy. If there was a day of freedom here, forgetting all rules, i'd make sure i'd get my way with Gerard for those twenty four hours.
"You don't like me?" I grabbed his right hand with my fingers and tried to lock my fingers with his. He felt warm as i touched him, almost like a strike of fire. Was he ill?
"I-i d-do....listen Frank. I want to act normal around you, and it seems possible, but i just can't think about a relationship with the place were in." He slid his palm with mine, our fingers interlocking. A weak smile grew on his face.
"I love you." I whispered, the cold of the wall against me, chilling me to the bone, and the warmth of his palm taking the chills away from me.
"I-i" He murmured, thinking of an answer. I felt stupid now, our fingers linked and me staring like an idiot, my attempts of confessing failing miserably. I just needed a decent reply and then i could run to the cafeteria and pretend that i truthfully belonged in this prison, not that i was forced here because of a mistake.
Before i knew, his lips were on mine. His hands slid from mine and reached up to cup my my cheek bones, his thumb stroking across. I pulled him closer by the waist, my body boiling with heat and energy. Soon we were full on making out, my hands sliding around his hips so our chests were pushed harshly against each others. His hands were yanking at my hair, aggressively and far different from his normal demeanor. I moaned at the grip he had on my hair and bit down on his lip, racks of groans being sent to him too.
Soon i pulled back, i was pretty stupid as many reminded me, however i knew when not to rush things. I wanted him badly, the budge in my jeans suggesting so, but i had to be patient. He was hard too, biting on his lip from the tug i had on it. We were both grinning like idiots in the middle of the prison corridor. Everyone was oblivious that me and Gerard just made out, this was our little secret.
"I love you too." He smiled. It had been over ten minutes, and far by time that i headed back before the group thought something was up. I wish i could stay with him forever, but it wasn't that easy. It wasn't like an average love, where i could call up, come over, fuck the person then stay the night, not a single worry in the world. We were in a fucking prison, where if i laid a hand on the flesh of one of the staff i would be beaten to a pulp. I had already faced the punishment of fighting in the cafeteria, and the bruised hurt enough. If i had to be hurt i'd rather receive it by Gerard privately.
"I need to get back, chief will kill me other wise." I said, and he laughed back.
"Ah, i understand. As long as i can see you soon." I nodded back to him, my body already prepared to run back to the games room. I began to walk away slowly before i heard him.
"Frank before you go!" Gerard shouted. I walked back over to him, his hand resting on my cheek and lips leaning down to give me a quick passionate kiss. My lips molded between his for the short second it lasted before i pulled back and let go of his waist. "Lets keep this between ourselves sugar."
"Sure, i guess i just cant help myself." I pecked his lips one more time before i left. His cheeks were a light pink when i turned back to say goodbye.
I can't believe that i managed to kiss him, or even touch his body as a matter of fact. Now i had to keep up the act of pretending we were just friends. Yeti man would be to stupid to notice, and my friends would just act like we didn't love each other although they already knew. It would be simple not to smile or squeal when i saw him in front of others.
Or so i think...

Notes