Thank You For The Venom

The last person leaves. It strikes me as weird the way I’ve only worked here two days and they trust me enough to leave me alone in Gerard’s own apartment. Gerard is the leader of MG, I found out the same day I arrived. He shares this apartment with his brother. For some reason when I said I had nowhere to stay, Gerard immediately said I could live here with him, that Mikey mainly sleeps in other places and . This all strikes me as fucking weird but only really in terms of Venom. I never really lived outside that small society and I guess they could be completely fucked up. You can’t really choose which fucked up things are okay. We shouldn’t pick and choose our laws.
I sit on the couch and kick my legs. What else could I do really? I have no idea when any of them are back. Not for a while anyway it’s a fucking Friday night I think to myself. I could go snooping around. I could have a look in their ledgers, I understand that shit. At least I do the way I write them out. I could look at their stocks. I could send photos to Stan. I’ve only sent one so far; a picture of the wall covered in pictures. I realised as I took the photo that there was five blurry pictures: all of me. They think that I am five different people they can’t properly identify me because I’m always turning a corner with Ronnie or Ryan or in one horrible case at the boss’s funeral, blurred to look like there is two of me, one taller than I could dream to be. This freaks me out. They knew I existed but they didn’t know my face, ever. They also they don’t know that I’m one guy, one short guy.
Stan replied Interesting and then I deleted the conversation.
I went to target Thursday at five. Unfortunately I had to go with a girl called Shanty. As far as I know there are two girls in MG. There could be more because every fucking day I meet someone new. It seems like this gang outnumbers mine about three to two. In target I met Ryan in the dairy as Shanty picked up fruit and veg. He asked me how it was going and how I’m holding up. I told him I’m fine, it’s fine. He asked about the dreams and daylight terrors and I said I had to go.
I lie lengthways on the couch. And reach for the remote. Somehow I fall off the edge. It feels like someone’s pressing down on me and I can hear something, panting maybe. I panic and try to pull myself back up onto the couch. My vision goes black and I’m left trying to scramble free of the invisible weight, my breath as loud as my heart and almost as fast.
Two hands scoop under my armpits and lift me free of the weight. I feel the couch rise up to meet me, or maybe me be lowered to it. When I open my eyes, I hadn’t even realised I’d closed them, I see Gerard staring back wide eyed at me. I blush.
“Are you okay?” he gushes. The flat door is wide open and a plastic target bag is lying on the floor, several bottles of vodka rolling out. I nod. “I thought you were having a fucking stroke. Fuck! What was that?”
I go to speak but a mix of not knowing what I want to say and shock only allows me make a small choked sound. He sits on the coffee table in front of me his eyes wide and full of concern. “I’m just a little fucked up, up here,” I manage to choke out after a while, tapping my head. I really didn’t need everyone to know that gem about me.
His expression softens, “You should’ve told me, you like live with me.” I had no idea how young he is. Only looking him in the eye now I think he must be closer to my age than Stan’s. Hid eyes shine very brightly but his pupils are a normal size, other than that I would be convinced he’s high all the time.
I shake myself back to the present moment and task: “Yea it’s not something I usually say.”
“Yea I get it. You’re only new and probably not too trusting yet,” he stands up, “We all have supreme trust in MG. Only a little trust would be pointless. Adequate trust; also pointless,” he walks over and picks up the vodka and closes the door, “If we decide to trust someone we trust them completely from the start. That’s why you’re here now, in my own apartment and that’s why we trusted you to deliver that cocaine to Big Paul. We can’t work on double dealings and only half the people knowing what’s going on. That’s why we’re so successful. We trust. We may be fucking picky with who we trust, but when we trust them we do it completely. And we trust you. Would you like to drink with me? I don’t really go out.”

Saturday is always a busy day. It’s the day most people have free to buy from us. When I leave my tiny bedroom Saturday morning Gerard is in talking to a man in the sitting room part of the main room. “Would you get us some coffee, Frank?”
I wipe my eyes and nod. I press the button on the pot and begin to focus in on Gerard’s voice, “Well he did send you to the right guys. Only, you must know terms and conditions are as evident on this deal as on a half price washing machine.”
“Yes, I’m aware. Could you maybe fill me in a little more?” The guy asks.
“We lend you as much as you want. The only limit is reasonable, yea,” you can hear his smile, “you also have a cap of fifteen months to pay back. Interest only one percent at first. Doubling each time of course.” Fuck he’s clever. Stan and the Boss give set time and interest, this must be why they grew so much so quick. Even five years leaves a thirty two percent interest, but people don’t think that, they think one percent if they’re fast.
“Is one million available?” the guy asks. I pour the coffee.
“Yes, in cash. We only deal in cash,” I walk towards them and see an extremely cool expression on Gerard’s face. I always wondered what handsome actually is like. I can’t remember really back when I was younger. I didn’t really like girls but I said I did because that’s what boys did. I think if I had to choose an example of handsome it’d be Gerard. I don’t know why it just seems right. I hand them their coffee when Gerard caught me staring at his face.
“Excellent, thank you… What’s your opinion on uh, taking care of people,” the guy looks nervous. He’s in a suit but a wrinkled one so you know he’s not really used to business man shit yet.
“We do it, what kind and who. You know our price varies,” Gerard is smiling coolly over his mug.
“What?”
“Want us to fuck with the person, like ruin their car, steal their mail, rob them, etcetera, one hundred and fifty,” the other guy breathes in sharply. I realise I’m just standing there and hurry off to the kitchen to get food while listening. The guy must think I’m fucking stupid. “Want us to injure or maim; three fifty.” The guy nods slowly in the reflection of the window. “Finally, you must know that making him disappear is a lot more. It’s more dangerous and the consequences are more serious. One thousand dollars.”
The guy purses his lips and scratches his chin. My toast pops up just as he says, “I have five hundred bucks now, the other hundred when he’s gone. And I mean gone, gone.”
“Sure! Who?” Gerard extends his hand.
“This guy,” he takes out a wad of cash from his coat inside pocket. He fumbles a bit before pulling out a photo and a scrap of paper. “Timothy Holmes. Here’s his address. Before the end of the month please. I need to keep him permanently from fulfilling a certain engagement…”
“What engagement?”
“Doesn’t matter.” Gerard winces at this.
They smooth out the details of getting the money to him. When he leaves Gerard sits down with a sigh. “He must know that without a reason getting rid of this guy is going to weigh heavily on my conscience.”
“We shouldn’t pick and choose our laws,” I find myself saying.
His head flies up, “Fuck, what? Of course we can. We can choose that the law against dealing isn’t as important as the law against fucking rape!”
I freeze and stiffen completely. My throat tightens and I can feel my vision begin to darken at the edges.
“Fuck Frank,” Gerard jumps up and catches me before I collapse, “I’m so sorry… what did I say… I’m so sorry,” he repeats himself and pulls me over to the couch.
I try force myself to be okay but it’s just so hard. All I can hear is we shouldn’t pick and choose our laws on repeat.
When I regain myself again, after an embarrassingly long time, I’m lying half on Gerard as he murmurs; “you’re alright now,” as he rocks me side to side.
I spring up. “Fuck, sorry… fuck.”
“It’s okay. I had no idea how fucking bad you’re fucked up man,” Gerard looks so concerned. You don’t know me! I want to scream.
“You barely know me at all,” I whimper. Not as manly as my planned statement.
He purses his lips, “Yea.”
The silence that followed was awkward and prolonged. After a while Gerard speaks. “I need your help.”
“Anything,” what kind of a fucking answer did I just give…
“Uh, okay, we’re trying to move in on Venom territory, right? They own too much of the south side. Do you by any chance know some weak spots, somewhere people would be quicker to take a cheaper deal, or a stronger drug?”
I scratch the back of my head. I don’t know if I should tell the truth or not. Of course I know, though, I ran the books. I know more about where the best income comes from than Stan or the Boss ever did without me telling them.
“Yea have you got a map?” I find myself saying. Gerard jumps up and fetches one immediately. We splay the detailed map of south side New Jersey on the coffee table. “These people,” I say tapping two blocks that I know to be all housing, “are cheaper than these,” I point to another block. “But they would be quality conscious as fuck. These would be your best bets. You could give the cheaper ones worse quality, ratio of like one part cocaine to twelve part talcum powder and they’d still sniff it up if they thought it was cheaper.”
Gerard nods slowly. “You seem to have good insight,” he says.
“Yea I grew up there,” I say looking at the odd rectangle where I shared the first fourteen years of my life with my mom. “I’d see it often. Kids smoking pre-rolled joints that are almost all tobacco.”
Gerard nods again, “And what about the quality conscious ones?”
“Put the price up maybe five dollars a unit even if the quality is only a little stronger.”
“But if we deal in those two places we are very much surrounded by Venom.”
“Yes but they don’t actually deal here and here, they just sell to people from there but in different places. This car park mainly,” I tap the page, “You could sell to both blocks from here, assuming this is yours already, and they won’t realise you’ve even moved in on their land.”
“You know what Frank,” he smiles, “I knew we needed someone like you.”

Notes

Hi guys :) Thank you all sfm for reading and leaving all those lovely comments :3 I literally smile every time i go to update, also I'm delighted to hear there are people who also believe Austin to be innocent! I'll probably update tomorrow about this time if i can :)))