I’m risking my ass for you kid. Stan wants you dead. He thought you were till it was heard you found yourself a job. If Stan wants you dead either you kill him or you won’t see your birthday. He is also going to kill the leaders of MG. You tell them this, they’ll give you killing shit. I’ll get you safely alone. R.
Ronnie’s note had come extremely unexpectedly a day ago. I was putting the cash in the cash register when a note fell out from between two ten dollar notes. When I looked up the person was on their way out without change or receipt. I pocket the little folded post-it and his change as the next customer begins unloading their groceries. I have to wait till my cigarette break to read it.
I’m risking my ass for you kid. Stan wants you dead. He thought you were till it was heard you found yourself a job. If Stan wants you dead either you kill him or you won’t see your birthday. He is also going to kill the leaders of MG. You tell them this, they’ll give you killing shit. I’ll get you too safely alone. R.
It was definitely from Ronnie, but whether or not it’s real is questionable. I fucking lived with Ronnie for years. Other than Ryan, it was in him I placed the most trust. Then he fucking dismissed me because I was there when Ryan died. He’s unpredictable and he can lie but still..
This isn’t going to help whatever form of paranoia I have.

The next note comes in work the next day. It’s two days till my birthday and I want to fucking see what it’s like to not have “teen” at the end of my age. I get it rolled up inside a twenty dollar bill. F, tomorrow at seven pm. Come up the back way. It’ll be just me and Stan. When you hear me leave go in. Don’t fuck up, I don’t want to lose my last friend at the hands of fucking Stan. R.
As soon as I’m finished my shift I begin walking toward Gerard’s. This is insane I think repeatedly this is fucking insane. It’s fucking insane yet I find myself standing on the subway in rush hour on my way to Jersey to ask a guy I was supposed to kill for help to kill another.
This is so fucked up.
The subway makes its last stop before Jersey. Lots of people get off, even more get on. And now I’m pressed up against the door on the opposite side to the opening. My arms are fully stretched upwards to reach the bar that is keeping me from falling into the window. I stare through the glass at the pipes that fly by in the darkness. I think for a second I see Gerard staring, gaping. I shake my head, rubbing the back or my neck and head off the person pressed up against me. It couldn’t be him and even if it was we’ve zoomed passed him I tell myself. The pipes continue. I think I see Gerard, falling to the floor, like the day when he found out about Ray’s bakery. The train hits a light bump. No one else seems to notice it but it sends me spiralling down to the floor. My vision blacks out for about forty seconds and I lie in a heap until somebody picks me up. My vision regained, I push through to the exit and begin my ascent into New Jersey.
I immediately enter the shadows of the side streets and alleyways. As soon as I turn into a narrow lane hidden from the world I realise what a bad idea this is. I have no way to defend myself if someone decides to hassle me, and they often do because I’m fucking small. There isn’t even daylight on my side. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
I come out the other side of the block, thankfully intact. Only a few miles more.
I take the familiar streets and crossings and dip through the least dodgy alleys I can find until I find myself at the building door.
I walk straight in. My heart pounds louder than my feet do as I run up the stairs, desperately hoping not to attract any of my former gang mates from their apartments. Most of them are probably out actually, its quarter to eight; prime dealing time.
The closer I get to the top the more nervous I get. The churning of my stomach keeps me concentrated and I don’t let myself think about anything. I just see steps and the yellowing wall.
And then there are no more steps. Then the yellowing wall seems to turn into green wood and brass. I knock the sequence and stand out of the way of maybe an immediate shot. The door swings open.
“Hey- Frank? What the fuck?” Gerard looks completely startled. Mikey, sitting on the couch behind him stands up quickly with an expression like he’s just seen a ghost. I guess he believes he has.
“I have a proposition. I am completely unarmed, you can check,” I say quickly.
“Wouldn’t you love that,” he says, the amusement on his face leaves as quickly as it arrives. “What do you want?”
“You’re supposed to be dead!” Mikey blurts, distressed. Gerard gestures me in with a wary sigh.
“He didn’t get killed by Venom. He in fact works for Venom,” Gerard explains disturbingly casually.
“Did. I quite frankly stopped working for Venom when they burned down Ray’s,” I retort.
“Then why the fuck did you try to kill me,” he seethes.
“I didn’t! I could have very easily but I broke the fucking vile!” I protest.
Before Gerard can retaliate Mikey buts in, eyes narrowed, “You tried to kill Gerard?”
“No! I was supposed to but I couldn’t, so everyone kicked me out and I was left on the streets, now are you gonna listen to what I have to say?” I growl, defensive. Seeing Gerard is making me remember what I thought I saw on the train. The face that has been frequenting my nightmares is now staring with a new level of hurt.
He furrows his brow and begins pacing. “Yea, fuck it, what do you want?”
“To kill Stan, current leader of Venom.” Gerard stops pacing and raises his eyebrows. Mikey looks confused and shocked. “Uh. He wants to kill me. But he also wants to kill you, Gerard, and he will. He is very capable. I have no weapons though so I thought you could give me a gun and I’d fucking save both our skins.” I’m not even convincing myself.
“How am I to know that if I give you a gun right now that you won’t shoot us,” Gerard sighs.
“I… I wouldn’t… you could just… I don’t fucking know, I pinkie promise?!” I groan loudly.
Gerard snorts, “Right.”
“You could both point a gun at me until I leave?” I say desperately. “Aim at me until I’m down the stairs, I don’t fucking know!”
Gerard and Mikey exchange looks. “How do you even know this? If they kicked you out.”
“I had two actual friends in Venom. One you shot, Mikey. Either you or Guy, but he was my only fucking friend in the world. Then there was Ronnie who was my housemate and gang brother but I never thought we were close, but like me he lost his only friend, Ryan, and he says he doesn’t want to lose his last friend.” Gerard looks hurt. Hurt for me or hurt that I never counted him as a friend. Or maybe just hurt that his brother shot my friend. Whatever it is, it softens me. “He’s been sending me notes. I have one real shot, tomorrow. I need to find a weapon by them or I’m off to Canada to live my life as a moose. You guys are a little more tied down here.”
“How can I fucking believe you?” Gerard groans.
I shake my head, “you can’t I guess. Enjoy the paranoia I’ve been living with since I was fourteen,” I spit and make a turn for the door. It was a stupid idea to come here anyway. The flat smells homely though. And the creaky parts of the floor ring a sentimental tune. Why are you fucking getting mushy over this asshole’s floor I snap at myself.
I’m nearly at the door when Gerard sighs dramatically, “Fuck it, wait.” I turn around and see Mikey disappear into Gerard’s room. “I swear to God Frank, you kill me and I’ll haunt your ass into eternity.” He runs his hands through his hair. He must have dyed it since I was kicked out but his roots are making a comeback already. He looks at me softly and murmurs, “How’s the nightmares?”
“They follow me around day time too,” I say, taken aback. “You’re a feature of them all the time now too,” I find myself saying, for some reason.
He bites his lip, pained. “I’m sorry,” I says softly. Then his face hardens again, “I hope you know I dream about the situation, in reverse.”
Before I can ask him what the fuck that’s supposed to mean Mikey returns with three guns. He hands one to Gerard, who loads it and cocks it to face me. His hands shake violently and his face is pale. Mikey then hands me one and loads his own. I shove mine in the back of my pants and pull down my jacket.
“Want me to let you know how it goes?” I ask opening the door.
Gerard shakes his head, “We’ll find out pretty quickly.” They watch me, guns on my back until I turn the corners and descend into the orange-lit street.

Notes

Okay I've decided which way i want to end this XD
This is not the original way guys, if you knew what it was you'd probably thank me XD
Thanks for reading and le final chapter will be up as soon as it's written.

(PERSONAL RANT I have to open a bank tomorrow in school /.\ i'm the assistant manager for some reason but the people bellow me have literally taken over and not told me anything other than to do my hair nicely tomorrow because my photo will be in the local newspaper. Like what?? Tomorrow is an own clothes day and i'd just decided what bandshirt to wear and now i have to wear my uniform uggggghhhh. AND they went against all my advice and made a loss on the little money we had, told me to make a logo and then didn't use it. I'm so done with my year tbh, they tell me nothing and then complain about me not doing anything. Anyway RANT OVER... sorry....)