The Way, The Truth, and The Dark

I risk a quick glance around the room and see that there are a few people are still wandering around though most of us have settled down into that familiar circle that is expected at these kind of functions. This is only my second meeting with this particular group and I am still getting adjusted to the new faces.

Out of twelve attendees, eight of us are girls. There are bigger girls and smaller girls. Tall and short. Mainly blondes and brunettes with a couple of bottle blacks thrown in for contrast. A lot of us are dressed in black sweaters or hoodies. A few are more girly than others. None of us really seem to stand out from each other.

The same cannot be said for the male population of our little group.

Two of the guys are pretty bland; a bit on the preppy side, all blond hair and polo’s, but neither are really all that memorable. But the other two…..wow, just wow!

The first is sitting just to my left and he is absolutely stunning. He has the palest complexion I have ever seen in my life with skin so clear it is almost translucent. He has to be in his mid-20’s, though his face is rounder than most guys that age. His large, dark eyes are peeking out from under a head full of tousled, raven hair and he is intently reading what appears to be a comic book. He is dressed all in black; skinny jeans, a worn Misfits’ t-shirt, and Converse. Despite all the black, he looks almost angelic.

The other is directly across from me and even though I only meant to give him a quick once over, I find myself staring. At first, I think the sides of his head are shaved, but realize instead that they are cut short and bleached, with the longer hair on top dyed a charcoal black and gelled down artfully over his face. He is wearing heavy red eyeliner that really accentuates his lighter eyes. Blue maybe? Or Hazel? He’s in all black too, but instead of a just a t-shirt, he is wearing the cutest old man sweater over the top. As he turns his head to glance at the door, I see a tattoo on his neck and a bottom lip piercing glints in the light. The clash of styles; hard and soft, tough and gentle, boggle my mind.

As stunning boy number two slowly lets his head turn back towards the group, he catches me looking at him. Our eyes lock for the briefest of moments before my breath catches and I suddenly find the tops of my Doc’s to be fascinating. I can feel the heat spread through my cheeks and it is all I can do to keep my butt in the chair.

That is the moment our group leader, or guide as he likes to refer to himself, chooses to start our meeting. I hear him speaking, but honestly don’t really hear what he is saying. All I can concentrate on his how embarrassed I am and how desperately I want to run out of the room. It is shit like this; something as simple as making eye contact with someone, that sets my anxiety into overdrive. But I am aware that this time, it isn’t just my anxiety that makes me feel uncomfortable. There is something else, something just under the surface of my consciousness that is making me feel out of breath and wild.

“Eve, are you with us?”

Shit. “Sorry, I uh….sorry.” I literally want to sink into the floor.

“It’s ok Eve. I was just telling everyone that we would be trying something new tonight when it comes time for sharing. I’d like to split the group up into four smaller groups of three.”

Oh.Fuck.

That meant I would not be able to stay as anonymous as I normally did during these things. Sure, I had to share for all of five minutes, but I could work through that. Being put in a smaller group means I’ll be put on the spot and there is more time I have to spend actually dealing with other people. It’s the worst trigger for my social anxiety imaginable.

“Alright then’, Mr. Guide says, ‘go ahead and form your own groups and make your introductions and then we can go from there.”

I feel sick. I am starting to get up to make my escape when stunning boy number one reaches out and gently brushes his fingers against my arm, effectively paralyzing me.

“Um, hey. Eve right? I was wondering if you’d want to be in a group with me.”

He is looking up at me through his messy head of hair, fumbling with his comic, and for a moment I forget where I am.

I feel light headed, but I manage to stay standing. I am not sure I can speak, so I nod. His smiles up at me and I decide to sit before I fall over.

“I’m Gerard…Gerard Way. But you can call me Gee. It is just easier in conversation.” His voice is soft and warm...inviting in a way.

I think I smile back at him, but my face feels frozen so I am not quite sure. I feel the familiar weight of panic and anxiety setting in, which makes me want to run, but I also feel oddly compelled to stay.

Gerard keeps grinning, but gazes out towards the group. I see his eyes light up at almost the same time I hear a voice call out on my right.

“Well Mr. Way, do you mind if I join you two? Or would I be intruding?”

I know immediately that it is stunning boy number two. I look at my Doc’s again, too flustered to look up.

“Sure if that is ok with Eve.”

I look up and manage a quick nod.

“That’s Frank. We used to go to school together. He’s ok.” Gerard is smiling at me, to reassure me I think.

I look up and see Frank dragging a chair across the carpet and I manage to sneak in a deep breath. He places his chair beside me and sits down. I am surrounded, Gerard to my left, Frank to my right.

“Yeah, I’m Frank. Frank Iero.” He stresses the pronunciation of his name, “eye-year-oh”.

Again, all I can do is nod and attempt a smile.

“Don’t talk much do you?” Frank says.

I shrug. It seems safer than speaking.

I look at the two stunning boys beside me. Gerard to Frank. Frank to Gerard. Two beautiful creatures that under normal circumstances I would have avoided at all costs. But here I am, in this too small room, with my legs inches from both of them and I can figure out if the sudden heat in my cheeks is from embarrassment or something else, something completely foreign. I absurdly start to giggle and instantly feel like an idiot. I bring my hand to my mouth and purse my lips.

“Oh, so you’d rather laugh at me than speak?” Frank is smirking while he says this which just seems to make him even more attractive if that can be believed.

“I’d rather laugh at you too” says Gerard to which Frank playfully responds to by sticking out his tongue.

“I’m sorry,” I mutter, “I didn’t mean to be an ass. I just don’t socialize much. Part of the reason I am here.”

They both look at me, Gerard with a puzzled look on his face, but neither say anything.

Mr. Guide starts talking again and everyone quiets down and looks towards him. I breathe in some much needed air. I look out the corner of my eye at Frank and see him staring at Gerard, who I then realize is staring at me. I blush and close my eyes.

What is going on here?

Notes

Chapter 2 - Eve notices Gerard and Frank for the first time. Longer chapter, more detail.