even if you stop believing

FRANK’S P.O.V

I feel weird, am I still sleeping or is someone’s arm really around my waist?
I open my eyes.
Oh my god.
Where am I? What happened?
I look at the guy underneath me. He’s still asleep.
As I look at his face I suddenly remember it all.

He saved me.
He gave me his jacket and his scarf.
Then he carried me here.
Why? He doesn’t even know me.
I still think that I want to die.
I feel kind of mad at him because he saved me, I really wanted to die.

But I can’t stay mad at someone as pretty as him.
His messy black hair is half on his face, I carefully swipe it away.
I study his features, he’s very beautiful.
But wait, I don’t even know him; I don’t even know his name. Even if he saved my life last night he’s still just a stranger to me.
I’m in a complete stranger’s room, I his bed, half lying on him.
I also know that he wants to talk to me, but I don’t want to listen to him telling me that I’m stupid and weak for attempting suicide and being like this. I’ve had enough of people like that. I don’t think I could ever be friends or anything with him. Nobody wants to be friends with me.
To be honest, if I could choose, I would rather have him as a boyfriend because he’s so pretty. But I think he’s straight. And he’s obviously older than me.
And even if he was gay or something, I’d probably be too ugly for him.

I should really go home before he wakes up.
Maybe he will think it all was just a dream.

I get up from the bed carefully, not wanting to wake him up. Oh god I’m going to miss his soft skin and his pretty face so much.
I look at the clock that’s hanging on his wall, it’s 6:35am.
I pick my shoes from the floor and put them on, then open his door and head upstairs.
My home is just across the bridge so it won’t be a long journey to walk.
And I think it’s not that cold to go outside with just a t-shirt, so I think I’ll survive my way home.

-----

GERARD’S P.O.V

My door opens, it’s mom.
“Good morning Gerard! Here’s you coffee” she says cheerfully and places the coffee on my nightstand.
I look at my smiling mom and smile at her before she closes the door,
I sit up and pick my coffee.
As I start sipping my coffee I realize that the boy isn’t here anymore.
Was it all just a dream?
No, it can’t be. My jacket and my scarf are still on the floor, and there are two cups on my drawer.

He must have left as I slept.
It makes me sad that I didn’t even get to talk with him; I didn’t even get to know his name.
I don’t know anything about him, only the fact that he talks in his sleep, how cute.
But seriously, I just slept in the same bed with a stranger.
Will I ever see him again?
I hope so.

It really harasses me that I don’t know anything about him.
This is so confusing.

The school is starting on Monday, and it’s Saturday now, and I still have so much to do.
I should go shopping today; I need more clothes and some school supplies.

I get up from my bed and stretch my arms.
I walk to my drawer and pick up the two cups from last night with my coffee cup.
I walk upstairs and to the kitchen, where I put the three cups to the sink.

Mikey is in the kitchen too, he’s sitting at the table and sipping his coffee.
The whole three of us in the family are all addicted to coffee; none of us can go anywhere before drinking our morning coffees. We drink coffee many times during the day too.
I take a look at Mikey and he seems to be following me with his gaze, again.
What’s wrong with him?
I’ll ask him later.

I go back to my basement, put some good music on and start drawing.
After a while, I’ve drawn a good picture of the boy. It’s probably not perfect because I can’t remember his features that closely.
I like the drawing anyway. I feel like I’d want to show it to him, I don’t know why.
But it’s impossible, at least now.

I should go shopping now, since it’s almost midday. I can draw later.
I turn off the music.
I check myself from the mirror, I look well. I don’t look so sick anymore.
I’ve also gained some weight; I was so skinny when I was the most depressed.
I go upstairs slowly, thinking of the boy.

I put my shoes and jacket on, pick my wallet from the table and put a scarf around my neck.
The cold air fills my lungs as I open the door. It feels so good to go outside.

-----

So I’m back at home now.
It really wasn’t that bad to go to the city alone, it was pretty nice.
I got to look around as much as I wanted to; with mom it’s so different.
The weather wasn’t so bad either, maybe cold, but not any wind or anything.

Anyway, I bought two t-shirts, the first is a Marilyn Manson shirt and the other is a very cool Smashing Pumpkins shirt. I bought a pair of plain black jeans too, and of course more pencils and other stuff for school. Afterwards I also went to Starbucks; I love their coffee more than anything.

My mom asked me why I bought new pencils for school since I have so many of them already, but no way am I going to waste my special drawing pencils for some shitty schoolwork. She doesn’t understand that there are many different kinds of pencils, duh.

And I must admit that something, or should I say somebody really has been filling my thoughts the whole day.
Yes, I mean the mysterious boy.
I think it isn’t even a surprise that I can’t get him out of my mind. Or how often does a normal person experience something like this?

Notes

I'm sorry if this is kind of boring chapter :D
But there are some big things coming soon c:
and I want to thank you all for the nice comments again, it keeps me writing this c:

i'll update again soon~