“Why do you like your brother so much?”

It’s a question that’s pestered Mikey Way for as long as he can remember.

People have always asked it. When he was a child, family and adults asked it with smiles and little “aww”s beforehand, finding their relationship cute and adorable. As an adult, friends and co workers now ask it with raised eyebrows and almost grossed out expressions. Because, it would seem, grown men aren’t supposed to be as attached to their brother’s as Mikey and Gerard were to each other.

It isn’t “normal”, people often remind him.

But a lot of things about them aren’t “normal”.

For one, they were internationally famous musicians. From a young age, they were forced to spend most their days with one another crammed in tour buses and hotel rooms. Its only natural that they stuck so close together when they were always so far from home. As Gerard has always said, being with him felt like taking a little piece of home with him. Mikey concurred.

For two, they were each other’s best friend. Everyone has a closest or dearest friend, and for Mikey that person also happened to be his brother. Why should blood relation make him any different than any other best friend would be?

And for three, Mikey and Gerard shared a lot of the same struggles. Their family history was ridden with mental health problems and addictions. The Way brothers were no exception. They both experimented with drugs and alcohol from an early age, and ever since seemed to be stuck in this back and forth cycle of recoveries and relapses. Just when one would recover from a problem, the other brother was likely to fall into another bad habit soon after. And then when that one would recover, it would be the first brother’s turn once again. But Mikey and Gerard knew each other so well, they both knew exactly what to do with each other when they caught the other slipping.

Like the best of friends do, they know how to read each other. They always know what’s going through the others head, without them having to say anything. They know each other’s body language, what every change in tone of voice meant.

Mikey likes Gerard so much, he supposes, because Gerard may as well be his other half.

But as of lately, Mikey’s been discovering one more reason to like Gerard. One more reason to keep him interested in Gerard’s movements and whereabouts. A whole new reason to care.

Just not particularly in a way he wants to.

It’s a reason that makes him cringe just thinking about it. But excited at the same time. Something that’s been making his heart just beat a little faster whenever Gerard walks in a room, and leaves him with goosebumps whenever Gerard grazes his skin. Something that’s been turning his whole world upside down as of late. And he doesn’t want it at all, god no.

But it just won’t leave him alone.

He isn’t sure when it all started. He didn’t notice the exact moment things turned strange. He just began to have dreams about his best friend. Not that weird, right? Gerard made an appearance in his dreams often. It was what Gerard was doing in said dreams that was weird. What Mikey was doing with him.

Mikey didn’t want to think on what it meant too much, at first.

He really, really did not want to dwell on the reasons that Gerard was visiting him at night. He didn’t want to think about why he was having visions of his brother straddling him, while Mikey fucked him against a wall. He didn’t want to ponder on why Gerard looked so fucking amazing, with his pale body glistening with sweat, his cheeks flushed to match his fiery red hair. His lips parted, panting and gasping for air. He didn’t want to think about the way he kissed those lips, tasting the cherry chapstick that he wore so religiously.

No, Mikey really did not want to think about any of those things.

He figured they were just weird instances at first. He blamed the fans, thinking that maybe it was some extremely delayed reaction to learning about Waycest and fanfiction and what have you.

He does his best to shrug it off.

But the dreams will not stop.

No matter what Mikey does to try and load his mind with other thoughts before bed, by reading articles and playing video games, he still always finds himself in the same place. Standing above a naked Gerard Way, who is likely be sprawled out on some sort of bed or couch.

Ready for him.

And while Mikey has done his best to all out avoid sleep, a new complication to this already awkward situation has been rising:

The lust from his dreams seem to be seeping in to his waking moments.

It doesn’t help that they’re currently on tour, and Mikey has no real option but to be within close vicinity of Gerard all the fucking time. He can’t tell Gerard he suddenly feels uncomfortable sharing a hotel room, because he would never admit the reason that it’s uncomfortable.

In addition to all this, Gerard likewise has a lot going on. He’s got enough on his plate as it is. Mikey doesn’t know the full details of it, but Gerard had only told him that his marriage had hit a bit of a snag. When Mikey pestered him about it further, Gerard became withdrawn and even somewhat defensive. This also worried Mikey.

Gerard has always told him everything.

But it doesn’t even end there. True to the curse of the Way brothers, now that Mikey has his depression under control, Gerard has once again slipped into alcoholism. Mikey had to learn the hard way when he took a sip out of Gerard’s water bottle during a show, and was horrified when he took a huge gulp of something that definitely was not water. He had to run backstage so as to not make a scene out of him gagging and hacking in front of all their fans.

None of the band had known until then.

The rest of that evening was emotional, to say the least.

But despite the screaming, the lecturing, and the looks of disappointment Gerard had received from just about everyone that night -- Gerard still continues to drink. And whats worse, he seems to have substituted any form of food in favor of the contents of his flask.

His weight has been dropping dramatically. He looks now skinnier than he had ever been, even during The Black Parade era. Sometimes, when he catches Gerard changing in their room, he swears he can glimpse the faintest outline of his ribcage.

Its actually kind of sexy, Mikey finds himself thinking as he watches Gerard strike a pose.

They’re currently at a photoshoot for some local magazine. Mikey sips his coffee on one side of the studio while Gerard does his best to seduce the camera. He looks beside him and sees Frank leaning against a wall not too far off, his eyes also watching Gerard as well.

He wonders if Frank is having the same thoughts as he is.

Probably.

The truth of the matter is that Gerard has always been irresistible in a sense. Even before the dreams or any sinful thoughts ever came to Mikey, Gerard always possessed a certain attractiveness. He was very easy on the eyes -- cute, almost. Even his mannerisms were endearing. It seemed to work on everyone Gerard got to know on a personal level. There was just something about him you wanted to protect, you wanted to coddle.

Wanted to fuck, maybe...?

Mikey takes a bigger gulp of coffee.

When Gerard is done, he walks over to Mikey. He grabs the coffee from his hand and takes a sip himself without asking. His eyes are on Mikey as he does, and he smiles. The smile looks playful, although Mikey isn’t sure if he meant it to be.

“Why do you like your brother so much?”

Mikey hears the question in his head again.

Maybe because he’s fucking gorgeous, that’s why. Maybe because even the way he breathes is fucking pretty.

Maybe because he looks way too much like a girl now, and it’s hard for me to even think of him as a guy anymore. Not like he’s ever been very manly to begin with.

Maybe because I want to touch him and hold him whenever he gets too close to me, his porcelain skin as inviting as it is.

Mikey shakes his head. He turns away from Gerard and starts walking in the opposite direction, leaving him with the coffee. His brother is probably confused by his sudden departure, but Mikey is confused as well.

All sorts of confused.

~*~
When Mikey enter their hotel room, he automatically assumes Gerard mut not be there as the lights are all off.

At second glance however, he realizes that Gerard is in fact, in the room. What gives it away is the light of a computer screen, playing a music video. Gerard’s lying in bed, listening to whatever the song it is with headphones, and doesn’t even seem to notice Mikey’s presence at first.

At least, until Mikey turns on the light.

“No!” Gerard jumps up, his eyes wide.

“What?” Mikey jumps back, alarmed by Gerard’s reaction.

“No! Lights off! Lights off!” Gerard practically screams at him.

“Okay! Okay!” Mikey yells back before he hits the light switch. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

But as Mikey comes closer to the bed, he realizes the answer to his question fairly quickly. In the light of the laptop screen, he can see Gerard’s pupils are the size of trash can lids, and his hands are trembling ever slightly. His mouth is parted and he’s panting in the way that he only really does in Mikey’s dream world.

“You took some ecstasy, didn’t you?” Mikey sighs.

Gerard’s grin grows as wide as the cheshire cat’s. That’s a screaming yes.

Ecstasy was a drug neither of them had touched for some time. They built a tolerance for it fairly fast during the Revenge era, but that was so long ago that Gerard’s tolerance is likely that of someone who had never taken any at all by this point.

How much more is he going to fall back into? Mikey contemplates. How many more old habits is he going to bring back up? The alcohol was one thing, but now the drugs too? Are other things he used to do soon to follow..?

Mikey has a sudden vision of blood on the bathroom floor. Long sleeved shirts on hot days and blades being found in places where Gerard thought Mikey would never look..

“Rub my head?” Gerard asks suddenly, breaking Mikey’s train of thought.

Mikey begrudgingly agrees, figuring there’s no point in lecturing Gerard about this tonight. He sits down, positioning himself directly behind Gerard. He puts a hand through Gerard’s long, red hair, and he begins to stroke his fingers on his scalp. The reaction is something only ecstasy can produce, as touch is amplified by the hundreds. Gerard begins to moan, loudly.

“Ohhh...yeeeeaaahhh...”

Mikey closes his eyes, trying not to think about how accurate they are to the moans of Gerard in the dream world. How much they sound just like he does now, except without his dick inside him.

He feels Gerard leaning back into him, like a cat against a scratching post. Mikey winces. He really hopes Gerard doesn’t feel the bulge growing fast in Mikey’s jeans, but at the same time he knows Gerard would likely not even feel it with the state he’s in.

“Rub me harder...” Gerard groans.

Mikey now puts both his hands to work on Gerard’s scalp, and Gerard all but explodes. Touching each other while rolling on ecstasy was an activity typically only preformed between boys and girls and gay lovers, but Gerard never did have any qualms about Mikey being the one to “blow him up”.

“Mikeeeeeey...” Gerard whimpers from pleasure. He’s panting heavily now, and Mikey’s close enough to hear every breath astoundingly loud. It’s too damned inviting and he feels his own hands trembling with anticipation.

Fuck it, he finally decides.

Literally, fuck it.

Mikey takes one hand off and slips it under Gerard’s shirt. Its easy to do as Gerard is wearing his super baggy, sleeveless stage shirt. And at this point, Gerard is completely leaned back against him.

He uses said hand to play teasingly at Gerard’s nipples, which were always big and enticing. He had always wondered what they felt like. He fingers them both lightly.

He waits for Gerard to have an adverse reaction, to struggle against him, but he only continues to moan. Not to mention making various other noises that are driving Mikey absolutely wild.

He proceeds to move down to his pants. He doesn’t remove them at first, but only slips a hand down into it’s front. He feels Gerard’s private parts fill his palm, and he strokes at his dick with a gentle but firm caress.

“Mmm-- “ Gerard finally makes out. “Mikey...what are you...”

“Shh, it’s okay.” Mikey shushes him and begins to stroke at Gerard’s dick a bit harder. Gerard lets out a louder moan.

He wonders if Gerard will hate him for this in the morning. If he tried to do this without the ecstasy, what would Gerard’s reaction have been? Would he have run away screaming? Or would he reveal that he had wanted this too?

Yet that’s just it right there. Mikey still feels he doesn’t want to do this.

But maybe going just a little further, Mikey thinks, will finally sate these damned dreams of mine. Maybe this is what he needs to do to make it stop. Feed this savage curiosity that’s kept him awake for weeks now.

A decision truly reached, he yanks the shirt right off of Gerard. Then Mikey gets up from behind him and pulls down his pants. He makes swift work of getting Gerard completely naked.

And here is, in all his glory. Just like in every dream, he’s lying in front of Mikey, his alabaster skin exposed. He’s shaking and breathing fast. He’s moaning and already out of his mind with pleasure. He’s smiling at Mikey with trust and love and everything Mikey doesn’t deserve.

But right now, Mikey doesn’t care. He gets himself naked as well, his own penis tired of its confinement in his tight jeans.

His animalistic desires completely taking over, Mikey goes in for the kill.

Everything is just like he dreamed.

The way Gerard screams a little when he inserts himself into his hole. The tightness of it, the skin that wraps around his hardness and hugs it tightly. His hole is warm and the rest of Gerard is already hot from the drug. Mikey is gentle with his first thrusts, watching Gerard’s face closely for any signs of real pain. But Gerard’s head is titled back and his eyes are half closed and he grabs a fistful of his own hair before he closes his eyes completely and breathes out in barely a whisper:

“Mikeeeeyy..fuck meeeee....”

“Why do you like your brother so much?”

The ghost of his grandmother’s voice creeps into his head. And Mikey smirks before picking up the pace of his thrusts, and he begins to truly pound into Gerard. His screams of pleasure escalate and Mikey mentally replies to her.

“I don’t like him -- I fucking love him. That's why.”

Screw what’s normal.

END.

Notes