Friday October 9th, 2009

I woke up to Green Day’s American Idiot blasting through my speakers. I groaned out loud and lazily made my way out of my bed.

I seriously don’t want to be alive today.I thought to myself.Then again, I never want to be alive.

I went over to my closet and choose and outfit and made my way to my bathroom. I went in and got dressed, brushed my teeth, did my makeup, drank a Monster, did my hair, and painted my nails. Once I finished this I packed my school bag and my bag for this weekend. And if you’re wondering, I do have the alcohol. I then headed upstairs to face a worried mother and a bitchy father.

The moment I walked upstairs I wanted to run right back down. Right in front of my door was my parents, they were about to knock on my door. My mom gave me a weak smile, and my dad gave me an empty glare.

”Honey, we want to talk to you.” My mother said taking my hand and leading me to the kitchen, I knew this wasn’t going to be good.

”Yes?” I asked sitting down at the breakfast bar. My parents sitting opposite of me, “You wanted to talk to me?”

"We overheard your conversation last night… With a boy… And you said you were going out for the weekend…" My mother said hastily.

”Sex? Yeah, no. You overheard my conversation with my friend Danny, and yes I am going out this weekend.” I said reassuring them, “And it won’t just be me and him.”

”We don’t really care if you’re sexually active or not.” My dad said, rolling his eyes, “Are you doing drugs?”

”Arnold!” My mother said, slightly hitting him. “We were going to approach the subject slowly, dear.”

”I smoke weed, but other than that, I’m drug free.” I said laughing. ”I gotta go, love you mom. Bye bitch.” I said kissing my mom’s cheek, while she was wearing a worried look. And I waved to my dad.

I jumped on my board, laughing the entire way to the playground. Once I reached the playground I pulled out my headphones and let I’m lost without you by Blink 182. I smiled when I felt a familiar cold pair of arms wrap around my waist.

”Hello, love.” He whispered into my ear from behind. “Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I’m lost without you. Are you afraid of leaving tonight? ‘Cause I am, I’m lost without you,” He sang along with the music swaying me, “I’m lost without you"

”I’m lost without you," I sang along with him and the song as it ended.

”Are you now?” He said smirking, pulling me against him tighter. I chuckled and blushed at his words. “Or do you just like my hugs? Is that is are you a hug whore?”

“Fine, it’s time I admit it. I’m a hug whore. It’s who I am.” I said, artificial sadness knit with my voice.
He let go of me, and gasped loudly, the most fake gasp I’ve ever heard, he gave me a look and pinched the bridge of his nose. Feigning a hurt expression, this was ever so obliviously phony.

“I knew it! I knew you didn’t love me for my personality! But for my body! You dumb whore!” He said this and ran over to the swings. Wiping away the false tears, and sitting down.

“Babe, we can work this out. I can get help, and then things can turn into what you need. What you deserve.” I said, holding my hands out, and walking towards him. “Babe, I’ll get help. I’ll stop hugging you, I swear babe.”

“You won’t!” He screamed pointing a finger at me, “You will never want my love as much as my hugs!”

“Fine! But maybe if you got up off your ass sometime and did shit then maybe I’ll like you more than your hugs!” I screamed back, stifling my laughter, “And you have shitty ass hugs!”

“Ugh, it’s over!” He screamed, and then started laughing. I gave away under his laugh and bellowed. Once we calmed the fuck down he looked over at me and smiled.

“Remind me to never get into a relationship with you.” He laughed, shaking his head back and forth.
I
laughed and looked at my phone. I had two minutes to get to school. I told Mikey I had to go and skated out of the park and to school.

I made it a minute late due to the fact that I got my shoe lace stuck in the tiny wheel of the skateboard and untied my shoe, thus causing it to fall off. Basically then I tripped and fell flat on my face. It wasn’t the most pleasant feeling in the world.

As I walked into my class, skateboard still in my hand, my headphones still blasting Falling In Reverse, small bits of dried blood on my face, and my bag of alcohol still clanging against my leg.

“Hello. Um, I’m running a bit late. I’m just going to head to my locker, which is annoyingly located on the other side of the school. I’ll be back in like five to seven minutes.” I said, not waiting a second before I was racing down the hallway on my board, flipping people off through the windows on the doors.

I got disapproving looks and a shout for me to stop and turn back. I just laugh at the teachers request and get to my locker. I stop once I reach my locker. I rapidly throw my shit into the small metal box that probably had some poor kid stuffed in it a few years ago, maybe last year.

I just shake my head and laugh, imagining the poor kid hitting the locker, trying to free himself from the hell his bullies placed him in. If you can’t tell by now I’m a sadist. Not a paciest, but an anarchist. I also go tagging whenever possible, which is honestly amazing if you have never done it.

I sigh and make my way towards my classroom. Finding it to be a much faster journey on a skateboard. I walk past the teacher who yelled at me earlier he stopped me.

“Young lady are you aware that this school doesn’t tolerate tom-foolery, and this includes your little stunt, hmm?” He asked me, I sighed.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t know that this school is like every other damn school.” I said with mock innocence. “I gotta get to class, bye.” I said running off down the corridor. I heard him shout at me for my language.

I stop at the correct door, and waltz in like I own the damn place. I look at the teacher and nod sitting down in the very back in-between Andy and Danny. Andy and I high five under, whilst my teacher gives me a dirty look.

“And why were you late?” He asked me, giving me a dirty look. I forgot his name so I look up at his name plate. Mr. Way. Ugh even his name sounds boring. I finally actually look at him. First off damn, how I never noticed he was my teacher I won’t ever know. He is pretty, guys can be pretty right? Yeah, he is pretty.

“Well Mr. Way I was just talking to my friend.” I smirked letting the words Mr. Way fall off my tongue in a flirtatious manner. “We were discussing how hot my one teacher was.”

“Ha ha ha very funny, see me after class.” He replied rolling his eyes and started the lesson.
I thought of the reason he wanted me after class. Is it because he is fond of me and would like to see me bent-

“I thought I was the only one who found Mr. Way a hottie.” Danny said in my ear. I released a silent chuckle.

“I mean damn look at that ass.” I whispered back.

It took a minute of us whispering back and forth to each other before Andy noticed and we started talking about our weekend, and I told them that I was going to be at his house two hours late. He said it was fine, and that he’d be waiting for Paul the first hour anyway. He said Paul likes to be over fashionably late. And the fact that he procrastinates like nobody’s business.

I laughed when he said that, causing Mr. Way’s head to snap towards us. He gave us a look, and then continued his teachings. We kinda just silently giggled to ourselves over this.

“Guys I also brought Donnie Darko, because that movie is law.” I laughed, they both nodded with agreement and appreciation. “And the alcohol, with basically consists of Smirnoff Vodka, Whipped Vodka (I brought Pepsi and Dr. Pepper with it too), Jack Daniels, Whiskey, Tequila, Scotch, Bourbon, Gin, Wine coolers, and Rum (I brought Coke for the Rum).”

“How do you get so much booze?” Andy asked me dumbfounded. “I can get the occasional Jack Daniels but holy fucking shit man.”

“You need Alcoholics Anonymous, like Jesus fucking Christ.” Danny said.

“And you need to shut up so I can teach my class.” Mr. Way’s voice rung out, snapping them abruptly from their little conversation.

Thirty boring minutes later the class ends, and I stay back as I was told so by Mr. Way. My brain was still stressing about what he wanted to talk about. I hope he wanted sex. But that would be like cheating on Mi-. Sentence gone. I won’t allow that shit.

He helped the last student and turned towards my small frame. I smirked and gave him an innocent smile, even though if you read my thoughts about what I want to happen is not very innocent.

“You wanted to see me, Mr. Way?” I asked him, moving to the very front desk right in front of him.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not a slut or anything. I just like teasing men, it’s so much fun. Sorry that is my inner sadist coming out to talk. I mean everyone has desires, most sexual, other not so much. And you shouldn’t shame someone because their desires can run their lives. It is honestly not their fault.

I’m usually never this way, but if you only saw his amazing face framed by his dark black hair- that is dyed. His hazel eyes that remind me of Mikey’s., but Mikey’s have more sparkle, like Mr. Way has seen utter sadness and grief. While Mikey’s held a childlike charm and innocence, but Mikey had this thing hidden in his eyes, I can’t decipher what exactly it is. But I know whatever it is, it must hurt.

“Why are you staring at me?” Mr. Way asked me, quirking an eyebrow.

“You and my friend have the same eyes, yet his seem to be livelier. Yours hold life and love, but also sadness and anger. While his hold happiness and innocence, and something I have yet to figure out.” I told him honestly. I wasn’t one for lying.

“Really, you can tell me all this just from my eyes?” He asked amazed, “Do you know what the grief and sadness is from?”

“That you have to tell me, I’m no Sherlock.” I said laughing, “But damn do you two have the same eyes.”

“That’s fucking cool. Anyway I called you to stay because you are so fucking different.” He said, surprising me. “Kids your age don’t have the Ouija Board on the bottom of their skateboard, while blasting FIR and carrying two bags, one I learned is full of alcohol, and then just telling their teacher where they are going and ridding off into the shitty hallway.”

“The hallways are pretty shit.” I replied, “I’m pretty original. My friend, the one with the hazel eyes, says it like every fucking day.”

“So are you and this friend just friends or a bit more?” He asked smirking. “Because he seems quite nice to you. And you’ve studied his eyes, you need to be up close to him to see into his eyes.”

“He and I are just friends thank you very much.” I said rolling my eyes. “He literally even told me today to not get into a relationship with him.”

“Is it out of context he told you this?” He asked me, how the motherfuck did he know? “I’m right, aren’t I?”

“Yes, you are fucking right.” I said, “But we couldn’t be together.”

“And why is that?” Mr. Way asked me, “By the way, My name is Gerard.”

“Okay and he is most likely in a relationship, he just meets up with my lazy ass before and after school just to talk to me, and he likes to bum my cigarettes. And play with my iPod.”

“So he listens to the same music you do? And yet you haven’t jumped on him?” He asked laughing; I chuckle and shrug my shoulders.

“He’d just push me away and never talk to me again.” I said, shivering at the thought. I hope I never fuck up our friendship. “And he is so small I’d break him in half.”

Gerard and I spent the whole period discussing comic books and Mikey. He was fun to talk to and he told me about his art obsession and I told him that I draw. I showed him a drawing I did of Frank (The bunny from Donnie Darko) and he told me that he loved it and gave me five dollars for it. Sucker if he’d just asked I would’ve given it to him.

After the bell rang and his students started flooding in I left and met up with Andy, going to our next class. It was a boring day, at lunch they kept questioning me about what Gerard and I did the whole period. I told them we talked and I got five bucks. Once they finally drop it it’s the end of lunch.

The days passes slowly and we eventually leave the hell hole known as high school, and I make my way to see Mikey.

Seeing Mikey helps my happiness 87423587325% and I fucking adore his laugh, and his poker face, that smiles more than a poker face should.

I reached the park and started playing Bowling For Soup, Mikey sprung up behind me and started tickling my belly. I squealed like a pig and attempted to run away. It most definitely failed, and he just started tickling me harder.

We spent the next two hours fucking around, dancing to a few playlists and drinking about ten wine coolers. I knew I had to get going so I bid Mikey a farewell, gave him two cigs and made my way to the hangover from hell waiting to happen.

Notes

I know it is shorter than my other chapters but it is 1 a.m and I only updated because today is Turkey Day also known as Thanksgiving and I haven't updated in forever because I just moved and I started a new school. And I really like my one friend there but he has a girlfriend who hates my guts and tries to squash out friendship whenever possible. And I just got Wi-Fi last week, and dear God never have I ever missed Tumblr so much.

Again it is one a.m and fuck editing, I'm sorry I'll do it later today or tomorrow. But the weekend with Danny, Paul, and Andy is going to be in next chapter and it will be worth the wait I swear to fucking God.

Anyway, good night, good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Whatever fucking time zone your in, or whenever the fuck you're reading this.