The Thing About Pain

I bit my lip until I drew blood. I didn't want a fucking deathwish for either one of us, but this was just too great. I was sitting in the courtyard, telling Gerard my story, and he was telling me his, and now that it was over and done with, we could get to know the small things. I looked up at Gerard and tried to smile, but he was staring at me dumbfounded. Yeah, I told him he was beautiful, nothing I haven't told him before. In fact, it was something I had told him over a week ago, in therapy.
I examined Gerard's face. Dark purple, and slightly red bags formed under his eyes, creating an illusion that his eyes were incredibly sunden in. He looked much thinner than before, and his cheeks sunk in so that his cheekbones were jutting out a little more prominently. His complexion was paler than when we had first met, but his eyes were a little more alive when he watched me. His hair was slightly greasy, indicating that he missed a shower or two, but I didn't care much for that.
It was cold out, and my lip bleeding didn't help much. It was October, and no leaves, or flowers had fallen off of the trees yet, which was odd if you asked me, but nobody ever did. The clouds were coming in overhead, and they were long and stretched out, not fluffy. It meant that it would rain, either later today or tomorrow. After all it was about time for a little bit of rain. However it would be cold rain, and I wasn't in favour of that.
I realised that I was staring at Gerard for a little longer than respectable so I stopped myself.

"I like your shirt." He pointed to my chest. I smirked. Yup, 'Homophobia is Gay' Sharpied onto a red shirt, so high end. "What bands do you listen to?" He asked me.

"W-well, I like the Misfits, Iron Maiden, The Smiths, The Breeders, that stuff." He nods at my music taste.

"I guess I don't have to be shy around you." He laughs. When he first came, he was an antisocial butterfly, and he couldn't talk to me without stuttering. He began to talk to me more, progressively, but it was still minimal, minus his story. In comparison to me, he talked a lot, but not enough, because all I wanted was to listen to his voice as much as I could. I hate these thoughts, because I feel weak. I can't stop them, no matter how much I want to, and I might as well accept them, because I now know that there isn't a force in this universe that could stop them, or the feelings accompanied with them. "Shit, Frankie, you're bleeding." That I am. With one delicate gesture, Gerard placed his hand on my cheek, and brushed his thumb over my lip to wipe away the blood. My stomach felt as if it was set on fire by thousands of little dragons, and a blush found it's way up to my cheeks. "Aww, little Frankie, you're blushing."

"I'm not little." I grumbled. Let's face it, I was fucking tiny for a twenty year old man. However, I couldn't help but let a smile overtake my face.

"Yes you are." Gerard giggled. I couldn't help but laugh. "Okay, so tell me, when's your birthday?" I froze. My birthday. It was at the end of the month, and I haven't thought of it for the longest time because there wasn't anything I could do. And with all that, came memories of my parents.

"Halloween." I whispered.

"What do you usually do for it?" I stopped, everything around me froze, and was trapped in a standstill. I don't know. I don't actually know what we would do for my birthday. Nothing really happened here. I couldn't celebrate in this institute, and I can't remember what we did when I lived with my parents.

"I don't remember." I furrowed my eyebrows, trying to remember. I dawned upon Gerard what I meant.

"Hey, it's okay. I'll do something for your birthday, that you'll never forget." He poked my cheek with his thumb. My eyes widened, as he started to laugh. He put my blood, on my face. I wiped it off and stuck it on the corner of his mouth, hoping to disgust him. Instead he just licked it off.

"Ew, gross. Dude, that's my blood." I cried out. My enigma shrugged. "Well, someone has a blood fetish." I grinned teasingly.

"I DO NOT FRANKLIN-" He stopped and knit his eyebrows together in thought. "It appears that I don't know your name." I smirked at him.

"Frank Anthony Iero, at your service." We both burst into fit of laughter.

"Gerard Arthur Way, at yours." He winked. He would be the death of me.

"So Mr. Way, what was your dream about?" I raised my eyebrows at him. This was going to be fun. I watched him swallow hard, his Adams apple moving up to down as he did so. A light blush rose to his cheeks and he began to fidget with his fingers, pulling at the skin around his nails.

"I-i-i-it was a-about, uh-"

"Me, Mr. Way?" I inquired. "You said my name..." I bit my lip.

"Y-y-you." He breathed out. I raised my left eyebrow, and gave him a look that said 'Oh really?'. "D-don't do this F-frank." I smirked and then pulled the most innocent face I could.

"Do what, Mr. Way?" I inched closer to him. To be fair, I was being a complete asshole, but I wanted to have at least a little bit of fun whilst I was getting my answer out of him, and last time I checked, I was a fucking dick.

"D-don't ask me like t-that, Frankie." He breathed out. "I-I d-dreamed of y-you. D-don't hurt me." My jaw dropped. Hurt Gerard? Never. I wouldn't hurt him, no matter how big of an asshole I could be. The last time I did, doesn't count anymore, I need to fix this all.

"I'd never..." I trailed off. "I just wanted to know what about your dream made you so happy." I admit. I did want to know, and I wanted to know why he dreamt of me, and if it was how I dreamt of him. I wanted to know what made him so happy, so that maybe I'd be able to apply that to our situations and make him happy.

"I shouldn't." He sadly said. "You'd hate me..." He looked down with the last words he spoke. Hesitantly, I scooted as close to him as I felt comfortable with, and reached my hand out, to lift his chin. At first he flinched, then eased into my touch.

"Is this okay?" I asked. I got a nod in response. I knew that he didn't want to be treated as if he was broken, even though he was. I knew this because it's how I felt. I didn't want people treating me like I was broken, because then it made me realise how bad it is, and it always made me feel worse.
I tilted Gerard's chin up so that his eyes would meet mine, and in that moment I knew exactly how much of his pain demanded to be felt, and how broken Gerard really was. I was going to fix him, and he was slowly fixing me. "I'm incapable of hating you." Because, I like you far more than I should. Those words were never spoken, but hopefully they would be eventually.

"Fine, you want to know what my dream was about, Frank?" I nodded, whilst moving my right hand to his left cheek. "Okay," And so he began. "we were sitting in an apartment, our apartment. All decorated with nice furniture, and band posters from old venues. We were lying on the couch, you on top of me, your head on my chest, listening to my fragile barely beating, heart. You started to place kisses on my chest, making me gasp and whimper, but also hum in pleasure. I pulled us up to sit, and we began to kiss. I managed out a small 'F-fuck, Frank.' And in between kisses I asked you never to leave me. I need you... Please help me fix myself." Tears soaked his face once he finished. I had to resist kissing him here and now. I wasn't ready for a relationship with Gerard, it would kill him.

"I will." I smiled at him. I put my left hand on his right cheek and pulled his head down slightly so I could kiss his forehead. "Now, let's go back to our room, and get you cleaned up." I took his hand in mine and led him back inside. We walked down the twisted white halls until we reached our horrific room. I closed the door behind us and dropped his hand. "Come on, let's take a nap. It's been a pretty heavy morning." He shuffled over at my words. I smiled, knowing that it would be okay for once. I started by taking off my shirt. I small gasp came from the raven haired boy. Slowly, but surely, he walked up to me.

"May I?" He asked. I was confused at first, then I realised what he meant. I nodded. His cool fingers made contact with my pale skin. They glided over every line of ink on my torso and stomach. Once he reached the ones that were a little lower, it became harder and harder to contain the noises threatening to spill over my lips, without permission. As he began tracing the second bird from my 'Search And Destroy' tattoo, I let out a small moan, and as quickly as it had come, I slapped my hand over my mouth.

"G-Gee..." I breathed out. My eyes widened. I had never called him that before.

"Y-you called me Gee." He blushed but that quickly changed. "Frank are you okay?" He asked concerned, but there was also a blush.

"G-Gee, please don't trace that low." He blushed.

"Sorry." He blushed hard. I nodded as if to say that it was okay, and I went back to stripping, leaving me in just a pair of boxers. "I just- Frankie, you're a beautiful canvas." He breathed. I hummed in satisfaction and slipped under my covers.

"You coming?" I asked him. He slowly nodded, and slipped his clothes off, and put them in a drawer and joined me. "Sorry, I hate sleeping alone. Nightmares. I've had one nearly every night since I was fourteen." I sorrowfully admit.

"It's okay," Gerard slips his arms around my waist, and pulls me into his warm body. "I'll protect you from your demons, if you protect me from mine." I smiled as I fell asleep to those few words, knowing they were comforting.
Later that day, I woke up to a ear piercing scream, and it came from the one and only, Gerard Way.

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