The Thing About Pain

I've been living with Gerard and his family for a few months now. They were kind enough to let us share a room, and allow me to have a small room to practice my guitar playing. Sometimes Gerard or Mikey would sneak in to listen to me play, other times they'd leave me alone. There has only been one problem for now, and it's the fact that I finished off my medication, and we have to wait two weeks to get a new one for me. It's been brutal. I began seeing small things here and there, but now it's getting worse. Whenever I go to the bathroom, the reflection in the mirror comes to life, and sometimes I can't tell apart whats ersatz or not. Joker boy was outside Gerard's home as well, and I don't want to relive how lewd he was towards me. I think the worst part is that I know he's going to kill Gerard, but I guess that I have to wait out about thirteen more days for my medication.

"Cosi bella..." Gerard breathed. I turned towards him and looked at him with a puzzled expression. "You're so beautiful, Frank." I smiled. Gerard did that, just complimented me at odd times. His head was on my lap, and I was playing with his hair. I loved entangling my fingers in his dark locks. His hair was the perfect length for pulling, and it was something that I lived for while kissing him.

"Stop it." I lightly told him. "You know it's not true." I always denied compliments, not because I wanted to get more, but because I simply couldn't accept them, and because they were never true. I didn't need reassurance, and maybe one day, if I live long enough, I'll believe him.
Gerard sighed out, and opened his eyes, and stared into mine, dead seriously saying the following.

"Frank, it is, but you don't realize, I don't realize it about myself either." That's when he sits up, and turns to look at me. I had to let my hand drop from his hair, and into my lap. It wasn't too much of a disappointment but it was. "Frank, we've been together for six months now," He begins again, his voice shaky. "But I think- No- I'm pretty sure that..." He cursed at himself, still leaving me puzzled for a fraction of a second. "I'm pretty sure I-I-I-I lo-love y-you." He manages to spit out. My eyes widen. He loves me? I try to suppress the grin that's creeping up on my face. "Yeah, I believe I do love you Franklin Anthony Iero. I know you don't love yourself, and that's okay, but believe me when I say that I love you. We've been together six months, and some feel as if it's too soon to love someone, but you're helped me pick up my broken pieces, and fit them together again. Don't think you're worthless, think you're worth everything. My mum and Mikey even tell me I've been much happier since I've met you. I hope you feel the same." He mumbles the last part and looks down.

"Lo ti amo. Avevo paura che non avrebbe voglia di questo di me .*" I whisper, hoping I had gotten my Italian right. I hadn't spoken it in a while. "I really do love you." I smile and lean in to kiss him. His lips, less and less stained with each kiss, meet mine, at first gently, and then slowly, the kiss becomes less gentle. He slips his hands under my shirt and places them on my waist, and I move my hands to his hair, tugging gently to pull him closer to myself. I earn a soft, muffled moan from him, and slightly smirk into the kiss, and tug on his hair once again. His cold hand slips around my waist, and to the small of my back in a spider-like manner, and the other makes its way up to my chest. I let out a inaudible noise of pleasure at this, and I fell him smirk. This is the man I loved. I didn't want to admit it to myself until recently, but now that I did, it felt perfect. The kiss gets a little more gentle, so I tug on his hair, and earn a moan from him, and take this opportunity to slip my tongue into his mouth, and he tastes like nicotine, coffee, and mint. I guess some call this tonsil tennis, or exchanging saliva, but I kind of like the terms that our tongues danced together, as did our lips, and when we run out of breath, it would be that stroke of midnight, telling them it's time to part ways until next time they meet each other.
I pulled away breathless. I couldn't believe I had just done that. I can't believe he had let me. I rested my forehead against Gerard's and smiled, our lips swollen from the deepened kiss. Our breathing was heavy, uneven, and hard. We fanned each others faces with our breath, and it was beautiful to me.

"Frank..." Gerard breathed out. The way my name sounded coming from him made me shiver. There was something to it I couldn't explain, but I loved every second of it.

"Gee..." I replied, trying to regain all the air my lungs had been lacking.

"I uh... Kind of..." I laugh as I look down.

"Sorry." I innocently say, with slightly less heavy breaths. This is when Mikey bursts into the practice room I've been using for the past five months.

"Guys! Ray is finally getting out!" Mikey beamed. I smiled. I had been sending Ray letters through Mikey. As I had been a patient, I couldn't visit for a while. I felt really bad, but I explained to Ray through a letter and he understood. Point is, Mikey had been teacher music therapy there for a while, but just doing whatever mainly. Apparently Alex was doing a lot better as well due to being able to shred on a guitar. And a long with this music therapy shit, he, in a sense, fell for Ray To-Fro-ro. I nicknamed him that after I found out his last name, and informed him of it. Apparently he had a good laugh.
Truth be told, I hadn't seen Mikey this happy in a while, and it sucks, because Mikey is a fucking fantastic dude. At the sight of Mikey's smile, I beam at Gerard, as he does back to me.

"That's amazing Mikey." Gerard says as I peel my forehead off of his. "You finally going to tell him everything?" I small blush forms on the younger Way's cheeks, and he looks down at his feet.

"Yeah, I guess so." He smiles at his feet, and begins to walk out, then stops himself. "Oh, by the way, mum wants you to pick up a few things. Can you do that. I know you don't want to leave Frank, he can go with you?" Mikey informs Gerard, but ends it in a question. "Here's the list. She says it's urgent." I smile as Gerard nods. This was such a beautiful family. Mikey then walks out the door and shuts it. Gerard then turns his attention towards me.

"Come with me?" I bite my lip, knowing he needed to rid himself of a slight problem. I shook my head. I hated going out in public. I didn't know why. I had gone out yesterday and didn't want to today. "It's okay, you don't have to. I'd rather not leave you alone though. I simply nodded, and he got up, followed by helping me up. I gladly took his hand in mine, and he hoisted me up.
An hour or so later, I waved goodbye to Gerard, and watched him drive out the driveway, and down the road. I now had to wait for the man I loved to get back. I shut the door and locked it, and ventured to Gerard's room. I picked Night Of The Living Dead by Misfits, and popped it into the CD player, and turned it on, drowning out the world, and the few spiders I began to see. I figured out one way to turn off the visions is music, and it's what I thrived for. I guess I was tired as I began to drift off.

It was ten years from now, and it was Gerard, and my wedding day, but something seemed off. I couldn't place what. We continued on with the ceremony, and then, that's when I saw him. Joker boy. He was in the audience, a maniacal grin spread across his face, and holding a knife. His suit stained in blood. After everything I had done to run from him, he was back, and about to kill everyone that ever mattered to me. Everything around me turned black, and sharp, dead tree branches grew from the ground, the next thing I knew is that he had killed Gerard. I fell to my knees, sobbing, and knew I was next. He gave me a good kick in the stomach and I toppled over. He then crouched down, and held the knife above me.

"Goodnight, sugar." He hissed venomously, and stabbed me.

I jerked awake at that exact moment. I couldn't have been asleep too long, and the last track on the album played the last few seconds of the song. I heard the jiggle of keys in a doorknob, and I ran upstairs, finding Gerard opening the door, holding some food, art supplies, guitar strings and picks, as well as some tools and appliances to fix the leaking shower on the second floor. As soon as he laid his eyes on me, he smiled happily.

"Hey, Frankie. You okay?" He seemed a little too cheery, but I brushed it off.

"Yeah, I'm good, especially now." I smiled at him. "Need help?" I ask. That's when someone other than Gerard answers.

"No but you do." I hear a gunshot, and see Gerard fall to his knees, and I scream. His blood splattering everywhere. Joker boy stands behind him, with an evil grin taking over his face. Gerard falls backwards and I rush over to him, the light slipping from his eyes. I held his face, and pulled him into my lap. "Really? You could do so much better." I snap.

"Fuck off asshole. I love him, get the fuck away." I growl.

"Ah, Iero, you got a tongue, now do you?" He muses. "I'm surprised. I thought you were a mute. You know, the pathetic kind. But I see you care more about this waste than I thought." A smirk plays on his face.

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" I scream, and for once, horror plays on Joker boy's face. He flees the scene of the crime, and leaves me crying for god knows how long.

Notes