The Thing About Pain

It's now been a week of living with the Way family, and I can't thank them enough. Especially Gerard. They've all been so kind to me and I have done nothing to deserve their love. I couldn't help but have this feeling in my chest though, that they were watching. I had been taking my medication and since that day I left hospital, I've had no encounters with them. It's been very peaceful actually. Gerard is in no state for college, and if I was, I still wouldn't be able to go. I haven't graduated high school, and nobody ever had me go to school during my fours years in the institute. Everyone claimed that it would mess everything up, especially my healing process. I didn't have much of a choice or say in it either. I was allowed, from time to time, to use the music room, hence my ability to play guitar.
I was brought back to reality when Gerard nudged me. My head shot up, and his face was inches away from mine. I blankly stared at him until I realised he was trying to tell me something, and suddenly all the sound started to flood into my ears. The car getting turned on and the engine running, the car reversing out of the driveway, Gerard talking to me.

"Frankie?" Gee asked me.

"Sorry?"

"I said, mum and Mikey went out. We have the house to ourselves for a few hours. We could stay here or go out. It's your call." I nodded. We had gone out a lot this week. Most of the time we went downtown to buy me some clothes or maybe storage. We even spent some time at parks and Yankee Candle shops. One thing we didn't do was collect my things from my old home.

"Let go to my old home and get my shit from there, and maybe, I don't know, move me in properly?" Gerard nodded at my suggestion and we got dressed and headed out. The weather was gloomy and everything was completely wet. Fog was everywhere, and it wasn't thin. It was thick. White clouds covered the city, I couldn't love it more. However it was one of those odd winter like days where it happened. It was the near end of November, but it was odd how hot it was today. The past week, it's been on and off, cold, and warm.
We arrived at my home, a street over, and I unlocked the door with the key I'd been given by Mikey, when I first moved in with the Way's. I entered my home and it just smelled like I remember it; freshly brewed coffee. I found it odd, but I made my way up to my room, with Gerard behind me. I walked into it, and posters of bands littered my walls. All framed and arranged a certain way so it made my room look really kick ass. I had a huge signed Misfits poster on one wall, along side a Smashing Pumpkins poster. I had a few posters of The Smiths, and a lot of Iron Maiden. Then I spotted my guitar and ran to it.

"PANSY!" I beamed when I saw her. I picked her up and hugged her.

"Are you in a relationship with me or the guitar, Frank?" Gerard ruined my moment. I just laughed and stuck my tongue out at him. "I'm wounded. My love for you was bulletproof but you're the one that shot me."

"Suck it up, buttercup." I grinned. I put Pansy in her case, took her stand and put it by the door. I found a duffel bag, and brought that out, and rummaged through my clothing, throwing in nearly everything. I didn't thrown in the things Jamia got me, because it was time to let it go. It had been a long time and now I need to learn to live with the facts. I got Gee to take down my posters, and carry them, while I carried my duffel bag, guitar, and stand. "Gee, we need to come and pack certain things in boxes, have it out in a week, and sell this house with the furniture. I mean, I want to keep a few night desks and stuff, if that's okay with you."

"Of course!" He accepted and gently pressed his lips to my temple.
We soon carried out everything I had planned and brought it to Gerard's house. We placed everything against a wall in his room, and just collapsed on the floor.

"How the fuck did you get your GIANT Misfits poster signed?" He asked me, I guess he'd been wondering for a while.

"Well, I was pretty young, and I went to one of their concerts with my dad, you know, when I got to see him. My parents were divorced but I guess they die together. Anyway, we went together as a birthday present and he didn't tell me but he arranged something with the guy who let them use the venue. The guy convinced them to stay for an hour or two longer just for me. They couldn't refuse since Halloween is my birthday. So we hung out for like two hours, and they signed a poster and gave it to me. It was damn cool. But I doubt the members remember. Really kick ass though. I didn't think they'd want to hang out with a kid, but hey, it made my life." Gerard listened intently as I spoke and noded every now and again.

"That's pretty awesome. Didn't know your dad could do that."

"Yeah, well, he had his ways. It doesn't really matter much anyway. It was cool, now he's dead." I sighed.

"You seem so, I don't know. You don't seem bothered by it."

"Anymore." I corrected.

"Why not?"

"Well, I don't want to dwell on a bunch of shit you know? It makes things worse in the long run, and that's enough for me to motivate myself to think of the good times. I've had people die because of me, and I haven't seen my parents in four years. I don't remember much about them, other than they always made coffee in the mornings, so I'd wake up to the smell of fresh coffee. " I was about to continue when the doorbell rang. Gee and I both ran for it but I pulled it open. I then saw the last person I ever expected to see.

"Frank?" They asked me. Holy shit. The only thing going through my head were; holy fuck.

Notes