The Thing About Pain

We watched Sleepy Hollow, and moved on to The Nightmare Before Christmas. By that time, it was around two in the afternoon, and the sun was high up in the sky. I had forgotten how beautiful the sky could be. So after the movie, I tugged on Gerard's sleeve and asked him if we could go out, and he complied. I was practically jumping out of my seat. I ran to the door and pulled my Converse on and waited while the two Way brothers had a laugh about my excitement.
I couldn't hold myself together as I waited. All I could do was bounce up and down with anticipation on the balls of my feet. I watched intently at the way Gerard slipped on his Vans, and tied his laces. He made it seem like an art that could be mastered. He made it look elegant. We left, and made our way down the block, and that's when Gerard took my hand in his. A warmth spread through me at his touch, and I felt giddy, like a girl with a crush on someone who ends up liking her back, and it's the first time it's ever happened. I couldn't contain the blush that travelled from my neck, up to my cheeks. I truly believed this was happiness. No. I know this is happiness. I know things.
I didn't realise that Gerard took me to a park. Behind it was an elegant forest, with trees taller than apartment buildings. The park had a few swing sets, and a red and maroon play structure. The play structure consisted of a fire pole, it had this rock climbing wall so you could get up onto it, and it had monkey bars to hang off of. The slide was situated across the monkey bars, if you crossed a rope bridge, with the flooring made of cedar plants. A little further away, there was a small garden like thing, with a small duck pond, and an apple tree looming over it. A bench was placed right under the tree, so the parents or teenagers could sit there when needed, and the flowers around it where all different kinds of roses, lilies, and pansies. It was extraordinarily beautiful, and nothing you could do could change it. What really caught my eye though, was the fact that the park had a little part dedicated to skateboarders. A skate park within the park. It was covered in intricate graffiti designs, and not the shitty graffiti with derogatory messages, no. Someone, or some people put a lot of effort into 1. Not getting caught doing it, and 2. actually creating a masterpiece. All these different ideas put into one, and somehow managing to make it work.

"You like it?" Gerard asks me.

"I think it's beautiful." I answer him truthfully. "I really like the graffiti." Gerard smiles but says something that shocks me.

"I can see that, but we're not staying here." My happiness drops a little but I don't have time to protest as Gerard drags me through the park and into the forest. Branches hit me in the face in the process, as they do to him, but then we come to a slight clearing where a tree with a red and black tree-house perched in it's branches sits. Rose bushes surround the tree entirely, and the little white flowers on the tree couldn't be in anymore bloom than they were there and then. "This is were we are staying."

"Gee... Wow, it's really beautiful. " I let out in one breath. "I'm just wondering what you mean by staying." I blush.

"Well, I want to spend the night here with you. There's a mattress and sleeping bags. I have candles there and even even a cd player and a few albums. " I nod in approval and we begin to climb the tree. Once we're up in the tree-house I realise that it looks bigger on the inside, kind of like a TARDIS. A small whisper comes from Gerard as he tugs on my hand when he sits down. "Frankie?" I hum in reply as I sit next to him. "There isn't an easy way to say this, and I'm really nervous about this." I turn to face him and give him a sideways glance. I was slightly confused. "I know I haven't known you that long, and it's been around a month and a half or two, but I think I might love you." My heart explodes at those words. I'm sitting there opening and closing my mouth like a fish out of water. What do I say to that? I can see on his face that my lack of response is killing him on the inside, and with every passing second it hurts him even more.

"I, " I try to say that I think I love him too but it doesn't come out that way. "Do you think it's too soon?" I wanted to slap myself there and then and I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eyes, but I saw a tear hit the mattress we were sitting on. He had started to cry.

"You don't feel the same..." His sadness turns into anger at himself in a split second. "Of course you don't feel the same way about me." He ripped his hand away from mine. "Nobody could love me. I'm too fucked up aren't I? I say things too soon, and I scare people." My head shoots up at his tear filled eyes. I try to take his hands in mine, but he pulls them away and looks down. "I'm sorry." A small sniffle comes from him. I hesitantly place my hand under his chin and lift it up to meet my eyes. I stare into his hazel eyes, that show he's broken in the worst way. Without a second thought, I gently place my lips onto his, and let them linger there, and as I pull away, I brush his lips with mine three times and move away.

"That's not what I meant, Gee." I whisper to him, keeping close proximity to him. "I think I love you too, but I just deem it too soon to determine if we love each other or just like each other a lot." I tell him.

"You being with me seems ersatz." He suddenly says. I'm taken aback by his comment. "I mean think about it, we both find someone, please do excuse me speaking for you, and they're both quite broken, and then through the struggles, they realise they're both perfect, and kind of fall in love I guess."

"I know. Just don't think like that."

"Well, it seems pretty unrealistic. What if one of us is using the other?" I sigh out.

"Are you using me?"

"No." Gerard carefully answers me.

"Then there's your answer. Nobody is using anyone. And the only reason this seems ersatz is because we won't have a happy ending." Gerard shuts me up by kissing me. Hard. I end up getting pushed back on the mattress and let out a small whimper. He kisses me with so much passion that it's unbelievable. I kiss back, and he slowly and hesitantly licks my botton lip, and I let out a small moan only loud enough for Gerard to hear it. He takes the opportunity to stick his tongue into my mouth. We explore each other's mouths and his tastes like coffee, mint, and cigarettes. He always did. We pulled away soon enough, because quite frankly, when you're alive, you kind of need to breathe. It's an essential after all. "Gee?" I panted out.

"I'm sorry, Frankie. I won't do it if you don't want me to." He looked guilty.

"No, it was okay. Only because it was you and I really like you and possibly love you." I leaned in and kissed Gerard once again, but this time with really slimy, wet lips. When I pulled away, a grin was plastered onto Gerard's face.

"I hope so." He smiled and then pulled out a pack of cigarettes from this back pocket. "Want one?" He asks me. I smile.

"Sure." I respond as he hands me one, pulls out a lighter and lights it as soon as it's in between my lips. I suck in through it, and feel the smoke fill my lungs. Once I pull the cancer stick away from lips, I breathe the smoke out. I fell Gerard gently take away the cigarette from between my fingers and watched him stick it between his lips. He gently took a drag and brought the cigarette away from his tragic lips, and breathed out the smoke, yet this one simply deathly gesture was turned to art by Gerard, and I was left wondering how. Once he was done, it was handed back to me, and so we sat in silence, smoking until the cancer stick was finished.

Notes

I hope you liked the fluffy chapter. There are two or three more to come until the shit storm really starts. Once it does, please don't kill me.

I love you guys.

Look at them smoking. It's so beautiful. <3


Tell me what you think of this chapter.

xxxSoulless Vampirexxx