Frank looks really happy. Like, happier than normal. More at peace, if that’s even possible. His eyes are glazed and red, and he seems kind of distant though.

I’m not used to partying. Frank noticed how uncomfortable I was, and now we’re alone on the carpeted floor of his room. We’re just talking, as we usually do. The only difference is that now there’s a blasting base shaking the entire house, and there’s alcohol involved.

I’m feeling a little depressed to be honest. Nostalgic to be specific. I really miss Gee. I miss his warm safe arms so much, the way they held me so strongly, the way they protected me. The way he protected me. I miss his sweet scent. I just miss everything about his beautiful self.

Suddenly, I’m drawn back to reality by the warm tears of longing that are streaming down my cheeks. I blush. Frank looks concerned. “Oh fuck.” I whisper, wiping them softly from my face.

“What’s wrong Mikey? Are you ok?”

I’m not okay. I’m not. “I just miss Gerard… Like a lot. I feel so… well…. vulnerable without him. Like I could crack at any moment… I feel so hollow… ”

“Oh… I completely understand… Well I’m here for you, If you ever want to talk…. About anything… if… if there is anything I could do...I just… I swear…. I’d do it. I hate seeing you like this.” He painfully expresses.

It’s touching that he cares so much for me. It makes it easy to talk to him. It makes it easy to trust him. I actually want him to know everything. I need someone to talk to. About the past, that is. I need to get it out of my system, so I can let go.

******

“I don’t really know why I did it, you know. It just kind of built up. I’d always had it in me, but suddenly, when granny died, I was just… overwhelmed. It was kind of the heat of the moment, you know. Like I felt so… well free… Kind of like “I’m done… no more worries.” I don’t know… It was stupid… this is stupid….” I hesitate, stuttering.

Frank just sits there for a while. His expression completely blank. He’s so quiet. It makes me nervous. What if he thinks I’m weird? What if he tells someone? Just like Gerard, he knows exactly what I’m thinking… I must be quite easy to read.

“It’s not stupid. To be honest, I find it quite interesting. I know how lonely this world can seem… How ugly it can be, but you’re never as alone as you feel…” He pulls up his left sleeve, reviling what once were deep lacerations on his wrist. They’ve had some time to heal, and are now pale white scars.

“I can relate… You know, I’m at least as fucked up as you are, kid.” He laughs, comfortingly. His hazel eyes are locked with mine, they shine with something more than compassion. His perfectly shaped eyebrows are furrowed, as he clears his throat.

It really hurts to know that he too has experienced such a tremendous pain, that he too has felt completely alone. He deserves so much better. No one deserves to feel the way I did.

Usually I’d have looked down by now. I would have avoided the awkwardness of the situation by staring at my shoes, but I can’t. I don’t even want to.

Frank shifts his weight, moving closer to me. He’s trying to make it look natural, but I know deep down, he wants to sit as close as possible.

“I’m so sorry Frank…. I really am…I just… I wish..” I’m rudely interrupted.

“You’re cute when you stutter.” He giggles smoothly, seductively, clearly a little tipsy.

I’m shocked. Frank thinks I’m cute. How do I even respond to that? He’s so hot. How does he like me?

Fuck. I’m getting all sweaty and stressed out. I rip my eyes from his gaze nervously swallowing. As I lift my sight, ready to meet his again, my lips are caught by his.

I close my eyes, trying to savor every moment, every peck, every heaving breath. His soft lips briefly caress my neck before moving back to mine.

His strong hands grip the back of my neck pulling me close, forcing my chapped lips to intertwine with his. The taste of his mouth is appetizing. I want more.

I throw myself at him; his lips tightening to what feels like a grin. He lets out a giggle, one of those adorable ones that he makes when he’s having fun, as he leans backwards. Eventually, we fall to the ground. He rolls me over onto my back as he climbs on top of me, stroking his burning body against mine.

He slowly pulls away, leaving me starving for more. I let out a deafened whimper, as I reluctantly open my eyes. I’m immediately met by his big hazel eyes. I can’t even express how unbelievably beautiful they are. He looks so innocent, although he isn't.

“I’m so glad I met you.” I softly whisper, leaning back in. “You’re such a tease.” He smirks, meeting me half way, craving more. I’m left speechless.

At this moment I can forget the rest of the world and all of my anxiety issues. At this moment I’m at peace. This moment is perfect.