“Hey…” A familiar whisper chimes into my dream world. “Hey, Mikey!” His voice tickles the back of my neck and his hand is gently placed on my hip. I’m laid sideways in our soft bed, drooling on my pillow.

My eyes open slowly to see him impatiently leaned over me, smiling even more than usual. His eyes are about to pop out, he’s staring so intensely. I can’t help but giggle as I’m met by a peck that turns into a real smooch and him lying on top of me as I squeeze him. This is such a great way to wake up.

“What’s up, babe?” I wonder. It’s still dark out and it feels like I just went to bed so I don’t understand what he’s waking me up for, but I don’t really mind too much. I’m always able to fall right back to sleep when he’s next to me. I feel so safe.

With the enthusiasm of an 8 year old child he replies “It’s snowing!” hugging me extra tightly. “Come on. You got to see!” He’s such a kid when it comes to stuff like this. It’s like he thinks that I don’t believe him or that it’ll disappear in the morning or something. I have to see it right now. It’s great.

He pulls me by the arm out of the bedroom and into the living room. We have to tip-toe because Gerard is sleeping on the couch.

There’s a big window into our apartment that stretches around a corner and onto the other wall, from floor to ceiling. We peek around the curtains to see that Frank was absolutely right. It is snowing. The snow has started settling, like a thin carpet of white on the midnight streets and sidewalks. You can see how much it’s coming down in the light cast by the tall wooden streetlights. The roads have been completely abandoned. It feels as if Frank and I are completely alone in this world. It’s so peaceful and quiet.

I’d started to get really sick of that depressing fall weather. You know, when it’s too cold for normal jackets but to warm for snow, so you can’t quite wear a winter jacket because it’s raining all the time. This is so relieving and amazing. It truly looks magic. Everything is perfect. Gerard’s heavy, calm breathing, Frank’s smile, my arms wrapped around his shoulders from behind.

“Why are you up at this hour, anyway?” I wonder. My voice breaks and I clear my throat. It’s not too late, only 01.27 am, but I’m curious.

“I was working on a new melody for some lyrics Gee thought of.” he whispers in reply.

“Ahh, what’s it ca-”

He interrupts me, knowing what I’m going to ask. It’s always my first question when they’re writing a song. His answer is brief and suspicious though.

“I think it’s going to be called Early Sunsets Over Monroeville.” he smiles.

“Cool.”

We stand by the window in complete silence, admiring how beautiful this world can be, for what seems like an eternity. I’m tearing up. My hands slip down so I’m holding around his waist instead and I rest my head on his shoulder.

Everything is so fucking perfect in this moment that it makes me sad that it has to end sometime. I just want to live like this for the rest of my life. Some tears escape my eyes and drip onto Frank’s shirt. He turns around in my arms.

His back is arched as he stretches up onto his toes and kisses me. He lays his hands on my cheeks and kisses me so softly. It feels just like some alternate universe that I couldn’t even have dreamt about, therefore it must be real.

Gerard’s breathing has turned into quiet snore. No one else is feeling my exact feelings at this moment. I’m alone. Completely alone. In a nice way, though.

I brush a lock of Frank’s hair away from his face so I can see his beautiful hazel eyes. He smirks.

“I love you.” he says, and I lean right back in and kiss him again.

“I love you too.”

My hand embraces Franks and we stand there and stair till we’re crying at how beautiful it is. It’s amazing because anyone else would think we were crazy for crying so easily, but since we’re both so introverted and understand each other, its fine. It’s kind of like we’re just on the same wavelength all the time. I swear no one understands each other the way we do.

Frank breaks the silence, wiping some tears from his cheek with his hoodie sleeve. “Come-on, let’s go to bed.” His smile from the excitement of snow has disappeared, but he is not sad. He looks happy, just not in the smiley way. He pulls me back to the bedroom.

I lie down and watch him as he changes into his PJs. My eyes wander to his bare chest, as he comes over and wraps his warm arms around me. He seems exhausted, but I’m not sure I can fall asleep just yet.

His pale body disappears into the dark as he turns the light off. All I can see are his outlines. I decide to go for it. He’s already closed his eyes, but I surprise him by softly rubbing his boxers and leaning over him.

A silent whisper sounds. “Ooh. That’s what you want.” Even though I can’t see him I can tell that he’s smiling by the tone of his voice.

A warmth spreads throughout my whole body as I realize that he’s going along with it. His short fingernails latch onto my back and I feel them slowly digging into my skin. He flips me over so he’s on top, as usual. He’s always on top.

I just let him do whatever he pleases, because I know that I will be pleasured eventually. I feel something cold wrap around my wrists. There’s a metal buckle at the end. It’s a belt. He tightens it so my arms are bound behind my back and I can’t even move them if I wanted to.

He doesn't say a thing, but sits on top of me with one leg on each side and something warm, soft and wet touches my chin and makes its way down to my PJ-pants, which are quickly yanked down. It feels like his tongue. Holy fuck. I feel his mouth around my dick and I’m trying not to rip all of his hair out. I try not to scream as he bobs up and down under the covers. I hear them moving.

He has a firm grip of my ass and his callused fingertips are digging into it. I’m going to have bruises there tomorrow. His warmth disappears for a while and I’m really confused. Are we done? I’m not, that’s for sure. But there it is again. It’s softer this time; it’s only his breath now. Making its way back up my torso, I feel it every time it catches. He meets my lips again and we kiss for a while. Slowly but lustfully.

I fight the binds around my wrists, because all I want is to hold him and touch him, but I can’t and it’s making me angry. Eventually I just wrap my legs around him so our groins are rubbing up against each other. He lifts himself up a bit to re-position and I use the opportunity to put my legs on his shoulders. I’m quite flexible.

He laughs and pushes himself back up so he’s kissing me again, but my ankles are still on his shoulders so I can feel it stretching. It fucking hurts.

“Ow. Frank stop.” But he thinks I’m joking, and to be honest, I don’t actually want him to stop. I don’t know. I kind of like pain. I like it rough.

He leans in harder so our sweaty bodies are touching completely. I feel something move inside of me and suddenly I notice that he has two fingers up my ass. I’m squirming because it’s pretty uncomfortable, but Frank pushes them in further and moves them faster, and I get used to it. It feels really good actually. Like, really good.

Several moans escape my mouth, but he silences me by stuffing his tongue down my throat. His teeth dig into my bottom lip. My hips are buckling up at him and every time they do I feel his breath catch in my mouth and every time he bites harder. I can taste blood now. I’m automatically riding his fingers and pushing down on them. I want them to go deeper than possible. My back arches and he uses his free hand to jerk his own cock. He’s really getting off on this.

“Do it harder.” I whine. “Please.”

He just sighs. I can feel his body shake. Sweat is dripping onto me. He disappears for a second and I hear a drawer open.

“Mikey, remember: You wanted this, okay? So don’t scream, because Gerard’s in the other room.” I love it when he sounds so dangerous.

The drawer closes and at first there’s only a cloth gagging me so I can’t scream. Then, all at once, he thrusts himself into me. At first I whimper, but it’s not nearly as bad as it was the first time. I think he’s used some lube now, and I’m kind of stretched out already. He starts moving and I swear to God it only gets better. Holy shit. I try to move and make it go faster, but he just holds me still.

“Stop squirming or I’ll have to tie you to the bed.” he demands. I’ve never seen him so focused.

He flips me over and I struggle to my knees, but since my arms are tied behind my back I end up on my knees and face as he grabs my hips and goes as deep and hard as physically possible.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Frank.” I scream, but he can hardly hear it because of the gag.

“Stop squealing you little bitch.” he replies. He’s really into character. I know he doesn’t mean a word of what he’s saying, but he knows what gets me off.

I push back at him, and he tenses up, hips thrusting faster and faster, and harder and harder, I hear a whiney moan from his part that I hadn’t expected, and then he’s leaning on my back completely exhausted and I collapse.

The last thing I feel is his arms around me and a peck on the cheek as I fall sound asleep.

*******************

The next morning I’m so sore. So is Frank. We decide to take a shower because Gerard is still sleeping. Both of us are walking funny but we just pray to god Gee doesn’t notice and that he didn’t hear anything last night because that would be awkward. We’re covered in bruises

After our warm shower Frank starts making breakfast and I set the table. Slowly Gerard comes to life.

“Oh God, what time is it?” we hear from the couch.

Frank giggles and says “eeh, it’s ten thirty.”

Gerard sits up and stretches, eyes still closed. I bring him a coffee and as he slowly wakes up he realizes what day it is.

“IT’S CHRISTMAS!” he exclaims.

“Yup.” I reply, already aware.

He turns to look out the window.

“Snow.” He mumbles, grinning.

We decided not to buy any gifts this year because we need the cash, which is why I was caught off guard when I was handed a big wrapped box and wished a merry Christmas by the both of them.

“We both chipped in.” Gerard states.

I open it as fast as I can. What the hell could it be?! Inside of the wrapping paper there’s a big cardboard box.

“Aww. A cardboard box, you shouldn’t have.” I joke. They don’t laugh, but are staring intensely at me waiting for a reaction.

I open the box, and inside of it there is the most beautiful red fender bass I’ve ever seen. My fingers run across the surface of the body and strings. I look at my boyfriend and brother in confusion.

“This is too much.” I say.

“We want you to be in our band. Please.” Frank replies, smiling from ear to ear, puppy-dog eyes back.

I just nod. This is the happiest moment of my life. If I practice enough I might have a chance. I mean they’re already so good. I don’t even have to be, I can just pretend. I can’t believe they want me.

Gerard pats my back. “Good choice baby brother.” He’s smiling so much; he’s got to be keeping something from me. “We weren't writing yesterday, we were playing a gig. There was an A&R guy there. We got signed.”

Holy shit. Shit. Holy fucking shit. No way. I can’t even process it. “No way.” I scream and punch his shoulder. He punches me back and gets me in a head lock.

Frank just jumps in place.

“That wasn't even the best part.” he laughs.

I don’t know how much more I can take.

“We’re going on tour after new-years.”

NO WAY! I’m getting out of here. I’m finally getting out. I’m going to be okay. I’m okay. There’s a chance for us. We can make it! I’m okay!

Notes

almost over. thanks for reading! :)