Teenagers
You'll See Soon Enough
I swing the car door open and reluctantly get out, suddenly noticing that my pants still are embarrassingly tight in a specific region. I cross my legs a little, trying to hide it from Frank, but just end up looking like I have to pee.
Frank leans across the passenger seat, peeks out of the car and busts me. “Oh, wow.” he laughs, completely full of himself. “Someone’s exci-… I’m that exciting, huh?” His brows furrow as he sends me an idiotic, self-righteous smile.
“Shut up.” I reply, looking down at my black shoes, not quite sure of what to say or do. I shift my weight. My cheeks are burning by now and are probably a dark shade of pink. He definitely is that exciting.
My stomach does backflips as I see the empathetic expression that has taken over his face. He wrinkles his brow, looking apologetic.
“Hey, don’t worry about it Mikes, I’m only teasing.” he reassures. He seems to be teasing me a lot lately, in many different ways. I don’t mind though. Honestly, I really, really don’t.
I don’t want to go back home although I know that I have to. Not now. I really don’t want Frank to leave either. I don’t want to go back to reality. I’m scared that my depression and anxiety will come rushing back when he leaves, or that my parents will punish me for being out so late.
Luckily the house looks dark, and it seems like my parents have gone to bed. I bet they didn’t even notice I was gone, they never do.
There’s one problem avoided.
“I should get home and get to bed.” Frank widely yawns, slowly pulling the car door shut behind me. “See you at school tomorrow.” he yells. It’s not a question. The engine coughs a few times before it kicks in for real.
“bye…” I say to myself as he hits the speed, racing off into the night.
My body unwillingly turns around, facing the house, slowly heading towards it. My mind is elsewhere. I sneak through the big, pitch-black rooms, tiptoe up the stairs and sprint down the last hallway to my bedroom where I leap into the comfort of my refuge. I carefully close the door, quickly removing my clothes and jump into bed, where I lay in silence. Left alone to my thoughts, wondering.
I wonder what Gerard is doing. Like right now. Is he in bed? Is he out partying? Part of me hopes he’s missing me as much as I miss him, although that is extremely selfish. Maybe he’s being creative. I sure hope so. I hope he’s making something of himself. I hope that one day he’ll get the credit he deserves. Because it’s true; He does deserve it. He is, and I can’t stress this enough, truly amazing. He’s a great brother and friend, and I’m sure he’ll make a great artist as well. I just hope he doesn't forget me.
I wonder what Frank is doing. Is he home yet? Is he driving alone in his car? Does he enjoy the freedom of long car rides? Does he enjoy racing through the abandoned pitch blackness of the night, having no place to be? I know I do. I love the feeling of no weight on my shoulders. Having no place I have to be, nothing I must do. I hope he too feels that freedom.
Suddenly my mind jumps to another thought. This one is also about Frank. I think about his tempting glares, his seductiveness. I swear, when I’m around him, I can’t control myself. I can’t deny him. He’s going to get what he wants no matter what. I think about his lip ring and the iciness to my skin. The way it made my insides jump.
The darkness of the night soon takes over, and I drift into a deep, comforting sleep.
***********
I’m broadly awoken by the irritable beeping of my alarm clock. Shit. Is it time to get up already? My head aches from last night, and as I roll of my bed I notice that I’ve got a severe case of “morning wood”. This is quite unusual for me. I’ve never in my life been as excited as I was by Frank yesterday.
It’s difficult to squeeze into my black skinnies, but I eventually manage. Enthusiastically I pull on the first tee I grab a hold of on my floor; which incidentally is my grey Misfits shirt. The misfits are Frank’s favorite band; he knows that I like them too. Gerard introduced me to them, and may I say I am extremely grateful for that. He was introduced by frank.
I slouch into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep out of my groggy eyes. The morning sun shines through the window, blinding me for a few seconds and making my head feel like it might explode.
Looks like everyone’s left for work already. I’m glad. Meeting my parents at this state would be quite humiliating. Meeting anyone at this state would be quite humiliating.
Birds chirp outside the thin walls as I prepare a hot cup of coffee-too-go and grab my book bag, flinging it over my shoulder. “Shut up” I whisper to myself, aggravated by the birds as I head out the door. Can’t they just be quiet?
It’s hot out. Not a summer kind of hot though. Fall is arriving. Leaves are falling and the air is not quite as moist, thank the lord for that. I could not stand another day of over 100 degrees and black skinnies and tees, but seeing as that’s the only clothes I own, I’d have to. There’s just something about shorts that makes me uncomfortable. I just don’t like showing off my body, I mean what’s so great about it. I’m skinny and pale; Lucky me. It’s just one more thing to be bullied about.
********
The bell rings as I pace off in the direction of my next class, chemistry. I’m hoping Frank will be there and not cut class today because I really want to see him.
Sure enough, the second I open the door my gaze is met by his. He’s sitting alone in the far right corner of the room, waving frantically for me to sit next to him. I can’t help but giggle as I hurry over, throwing my bag onto the floor and flopping down into my chair.
“What? What’s so funny? Are you-… you laughing at me?” There he goes, acting all butch again. It’s hilarious as always. I think he’s trying to be like a mafia boss of some sort because he speaks in a thick Italian accent, lifts his shoulders up and dramatically talks with his hands, making an expression of genuine confusion. Frank’s quite the actor.
Suddenly he’s serious. His eyes are tired and burst with beautiful shades of green and brown. They form a warm but piercing gaze. A gaze I don’t want to escape. A gaze I’m perfectly content with.
He punches my shoulder and leans back in his chair, throwing his feet onto his desk and closing his eyes. He's so spontaneous. There's just something about his that I can't figure out; something that intrigues me.
I can’t help but stare as his neck relaxes more and more. Dear God is he beautiful when he’s sleeping.
Eventually I lay my head down on my desk with a loud thud, teacher rambling on in the background. Luckily she doesn't notice. I don’t even know what Mrs. York is talking about anymore, so I decide to get some rest. I close my eyes and fade into a world of peace.
**********
“Mikey…. Mikes.” Frank is leaning over me, shaking my shoulder. "The bell rang like 5 minutes ago."
“Shit.” I’ve been drooling. I wipe the corner of my mouth with my bare arm, eyes slowly adjusting to the bright room. “Where- what…” Suddenly I remember where I am.
Frank looks more than amused. His big smile is contagious, and although my neck hurts like hell, I can’t help but laugh at my confusion.
Lunch is next so we hurry off to the cafeteria. As Frank pulls me by the hand through the crowded hallways we can’t help but get a couple of judging glares. A few of the jocks whistle mockingly and throw some sly comments at us. Frank decides to ignore them so I do as well. Why should I be hurt when he isn’t?
The cafeteria lady smacks a blob of something that looks- but most definitely does not smell like mashed potatoes onto my plate. “Thanks.” I grimace at the food given to me.
Frank is in front of me in line, and has gone to take a seat at an empty table. I quickly follow.
The way Frank shoves his food in his mouth is just about the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. He does not even have time to swallow between bites. He looks like a fucking hamster. I stare in amazement, picking at my own with my fork. I swear something on my plate just moved.
“I’m not going to steal you food.” I joke. He sends me a short smile while he swallows, shoving another big bite of his burger into his mouth.
“Oh, I know. I just have something I want to show you afterwards, and we have to go before class so we don’t get caught. We have math next. Do you really want to have math?” he asks. I need not answer that. “ Now eat up” he teases, knowing that I hate cafeteria food.
Once Frank’s done devouring his food he rushes out, me at his heels.
“Where are we going?” I wonder.
“You’ll see soon enough.”
Frank leans across the passenger seat, peeks out of the car and busts me. “Oh, wow.” he laughs, completely full of himself. “Someone’s exci-… I’m that exciting, huh?” His brows furrow as he sends me an idiotic, self-righteous smile.
“Shut up.” I reply, looking down at my black shoes, not quite sure of what to say or do. I shift my weight. My cheeks are burning by now and are probably a dark shade of pink. He definitely is that exciting.
My stomach does backflips as I see the empathetic expression that has taken over his face. He wrinkles his brow, looking apologetic.
“Hey, don’t worry about it Mikes, I’m only teasing.” he reassures. He seems to be teasing me a lot lately, in many different ways. I don’t mind though. Honestly, I really, really don’t.
I don’t want to go back home although I know that I have to. Not now. I really don’t want Frank to leave either. I don’t want to go back to reality. I’m scared that my depression and anxiety will come rushing back when he leaves, or that my parents will punish me for being out so late.
Luckily the house looks dark, and it seems like my parents have gone to bed. I bet they didn’t even notice I was gone, they never do.
There’s one problem avoided.
“I should get home and get to bed.” Frank widely yawns, slowly pulling the car door shut behind me. “See you at school tomorrow.” he yells. It’s not a question. The engine coughs a few times before it kicks in for real.
“bye…” I say to myself as he hits the speed, racing off into the night.
My body unwillingly turns around, facing the house, slowly heading towards it. My mind is elsewhere. I sneak through the big, pitch-black rooms, tiptoe up the stairs and sprint down the last hallway to my bedroom where I leap into the comfort of my refuge. I carefully close the door, quickly removing my clothes and jump into bed, where I lay in silence. Left alone to my thoughts, wondering.
I wonder what Gerard is doing. Like right now. Is he in bed? Is he out partying? Part of me hopes he’s missing me as much as I miss him, although that is extremely selfish. Maybe he’s being creative. I sure hope so. I hope he’s making something of himself. I hope that one day he’ll get the credit he deserves. Because it’s true; He does deserve it. He is, and I can’t stress this enough, truly amazing. He’s a great brother and friend, and I’m sure he’ll make a great artist as well. I just hope he doesn't forget me.
I wonder what Frank is doing. Is he home yet? Is he driving alone in his car? Does he enjoy the freedom of long car rides? Does he enjoy racing through the abandoned pitch blackness of the night, having no place to be? I know I do. I love the feeling of no weight on my shoulders. Having no place I have to be, nothing I must do. I hope he too feels that freedom.
Suddenly my mind jumps to another thought. This one is also about Frank. I think about his tempting glares, his seductiveness. I swear, when I’m around him, I can’t control myself. I can’t deny him. He’s going to get what he wants no matter what. I think about his lip ring and the iciness to my skin. The way it made my insides jump.
The darkness of the night soon takes over, and I drift into a deep, comforting sleep.
***********
I’m broadly awoken by the irritable beeping of my alarm clock. Shit. Is it time to get up already? My head aches from last night, and as I roll of my bed I notice that I’ve got a severe case of “morning wood”. This is quite unusual for me. I’ve never in my life been as excited as I was by Frank yesterday.
It’s difficult to squeeze into my black skinnies, but I eventually manage. Enthusiastically I pull on the first tee I grab a hold of on my floor; which incidentally is my grey Misfits shirt. The misfits are Frank’s favorite band; he knows that I like them too. Gerard introduced me to them, and may I say I am extremely grateful for that. He was introduced by frank.
I slouch into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep out of my groggy eyes. The morning sun shines through the window, blinding me for a few seconds and making my head feel like it might explode.
Looks like everyone’s left for work already. I’m glad. Meeting my parents at this state would be quite humiliating. Meeting anyone at this state would be quite humiliating.
Birds chirp outside the thin walls as I prepare a hot cup of coffee-too-go and grab my book bag, flinging it over my shoulder. “Shut up” I whisper to myself, aggravated by the birds as I head out the door. Can’t they just be quiet?
It’s hot out. Not a summer kind of hot though. Fall is arriving. Leaves are falling and the air is not quite as moist, thank the lord for that. I could not stand another day of over 100 degrees and black skinnies and tees, but seeing as that’s the only clothes I own, I’d have to. There’s just something about shorts that makes me uncomfortable. I just don’t like showing off my body, I mean what’s so great about it. I’m skinny and pale; Lucky me. It’s just one more thing to be bullied about.
********
The bell rings as I pace off in the direction of my next class, chemistry. I’m hoping Frank will be there and not cut class today because I really want to see him.
Sure enough, the second I open the door my gaze is met by his. He’s sitting alone in the far right corner of the room, waving frantically for me to sit next to him. I can’t help but giggle as I hurry over, throwing my bag onto the floor and flopping down into my chair.
“What? What’s so funny? Are you-… you laughing at me?” There he goes, acting all butch again. It’s hilarious as always. I think he’s trying to be like a mafia boss of some sort because he speaks in a thick Italian accent, lifts his shoulders up and dramatically talks with his hands, making an expression of genuine confusion. Frank’s quite the actor.
Suddenly he’s serious. His eyes are tired and burst with beautiful shades of green and brown. They form a warm but piercing gaze. A gaze I don’t want to escape. A gaze I’m perfectly content with.
He punches my shoulder and leans back in his chair, throwing his feet onto his desk and closing his eyes. He's so spontaneous. There's just something about his that I can't figure out; something that intrigues me.
I can’t help but stare as his neck relaxes more and more. Dear God is he beautiful when he’s sleeping.
Eventually I lay my head down on my desk with a loud thud, teacher rambling on in the background. Luckily she doesn't notice. I don’t even know what Mrs. York is talking about anymore, so I decide to get some rest. I close my eyes and fade into a world of peace.
**********
“Mikey…. Mikes.” Frank is leaning over me, shaking my shoulder. "The bell rang like 5 minutes ago."
“Shit.” I’ve been drooling. I wipe the corner of my mouth with my bare arm, eyes slowly adjusting to the bright room. “Where- what…” Suddenly I remember where I am.
Frank looks more than amused. His big smile is contagious, and although my neck hurts like hell, I can’t help but laugh at my confusion.
Lunch is next so we hurry off to the cafeteria. As Frank pulls me by the hand through the crowded hallways we can’t help but get a couple of judging glares. A few of the jocks whistle mockingly and throw some sly comments at us. Frank decides to ignore them so I do as well. Why should I be hurt when he isn’t?
The cafeteria lady smacks a blob of something that looks- but most definitely does not smell like mashed potatoes onto my plate. “Thanks.” I grimace at the food given to me.
Frank is in front of me in line, and has gone to take a seat at an empty table. I quickly follow.
The way Frank shoves his food in his mouth is just about the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. He does not even have time to swallow between bites. He looks like a fucking hamster. I stare in amazement, picking at my own with my fork. I swear something on my plate just moved.
“I’m not going to steal you food.” I joke. He sends me a short smile while he swallows, shoving another big bite of his burger into his mouth.
“Oh, I know. I just have something I want to show you afterwards, and we have to go before class so we don’t get caught. We have math next. Do you really want to have math?” he asks. I need not answer that. “ Now eat up” he teases, knowing that I hate cafeteria food.
Once Frank’s done devouring his food he rushes out, me at his heels.
“Where are we going?” I wonder.
“You’ll see soon enough.”
11/2/13