I Still Think You're Beautiful

"Oh...Jared...I uh, don't know what to say..." I say and rub the back of my neck, my face obviously turning super red.
Jared sighs, pushing his blonde hair out of his face, "It's-it's fine. You don't have to say anything...I didn't expect you to anyway." He gets up off the bed and grabs his sweatshirt that he tossed onto the floor earlier. "I should go..."
I get up to protest, "Jared you don't have to-"
"Gerard, it's fine...really. You don't have to do this." He gives me a weak smile, wiping a stray tear from his cheek. He slips his sweatshirt over his head, messing his hair up slightly. "Jared..." I barely say, my voice trailing off. He shakes his head and begins to run up the stairs.
I sit on bed, listening to the front door open and close, then Jared's car start and pull out of the driveway. God, I really fucked up this time...

I wake up the next morning feeling super depressed, remembering what I did to Jared. I think of the pain in his grey eyes, the hurt, the anger. I basically just lost my best friend, the only friend I've ever known.
I force myself out of bed to get ready for school. I throw on some black skinnies, my favorite Batman shirt and dark red Vanz with black laces. I trudge into the bathroom, brushing my teeth and attempting to contain my black mop of hair. Attempt; Failed. I groan when I notice how pale I look. I pick up my eyeliner and carefully put it on, Im almost done when the door swings open,
"SUPRISE MOTHERFUCKER!"
I jump, poking myself in the eye, "AWWWW FUCK! MIKEY YOU FUCKING BASTARD! IM PROBABLY FUCKING BLIND NOW!"
I turn around to face him, seeing Mikey laughing wildly. He gasping for air, his face turning red and flushed. "God! You should have seen your face! BWAHAHAHAHA!"
"Ugh, shut up." I say and clean the black smudge off my face, reapplying it perfectly. I push him out of the way, grabbing my bag and my phone and rushing up the stairs.
I pull my phone out and text Frank, asking if he wants to walk with me,
Me: You wanna walk to school with me?
Frank: Yeah, sure. Where you wanna meet?
Me; Ill give you my address and you can come here.
Frank: K. Sounds good ☆

I give him my address and stuff and rush into the kitchen, grabbing a cup of coffee and a chocolate donut. I put down for a second to find a napkin, then turn around to find Mikey eating it, smirking at me. I watch as he takes a sip of my coffee, giving me a little wave, "Good morning, dear brother."
I groan, glaring at him, "Now I have to disinfect my favorite fucking mug."
"Maybe next time you won't spoil my fun with my girlfriend." He squints his eyes and takes another sip if my coffee.
"You're a bitch." I tell him, holding back laughter. Mikey smiles, rolling his eyes. "Love ya too Gee."
I scoff and grab my bag, my stomach rumbling loudly. I'm about to text Jared when the doorbell rings. I open the door finding myself face to face with tiny little Frankie. My heart stops when I notice the huge bruise on his cheek, like somebody punched him.
"Hey Frankie." I smile, gesturing for him to come in. I watch as he walks in. His dark red skinny jeans hug every curve of his body, hypnotizing me. He's wearing a black Blink-182 hoodie that's skin tight along with black worn out Converse.
"Hey Gee.." He smiles, walking in slowly, "You have a REALLY nice house."
"Thanks, " I say closing the door behind us, "We have 20 before we actually have to leave so-"
"IS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND?" Mikey yells from the kitchen.
I sigh, running my fingers through my hair, "I sware to god, I'm going to end up killing him."
Frank giggles, looking up at me, his hazel eyes sparkling. His pale cheeks turn a little red as he blushes slightly.
"So Frank," I say, guiding him to the couch, taking a seat, "Can I ask what that bruise is?"
He gasps and puts his hand over it, "Oh um....I uh....I tend to uh be c-clumsy..."
I move his hand away, "No, it looks like you've been punched. You can see the knuckle marks. Wait, did Bert do this?"
"Oh um uh no." He says quietly. He then s looks down, hiding behind his hair. "My uh, my dad did."
"Oh my god...." I say, shocked. "Are you alright? Did he do anything else?!?"
Frank shakes his head, "It doesn't matter what he did. It's over now and there's nothing I can do. He gets drunk and high a lot He doesn't really pay much attention to me.Then I tried talking to him about Iris and he didn't wanna hear it apparently."
"You have no idea how sorry I am Frank..." I say and put my hand on his shoulder. He nods, looking deep into my eyes, driving me fucking crazy.
"Please don't tell anybody." He whispers.
"I won't. " I promise, taking my hand away.
We sit in comforting silence, just staring at one another. He breaks the gaze, his eyes flickering around the room. He stares at a picture on the coffee table of Mikey and I when we were little. He smiles and chews on his lips ring, "Thats cute."
"Who's this?" Mikey yells and walks in. He walks over to us, sitting himself down on my lap.
"Mikey, what the fuck?" I say, squinting my eyes. He ignores me and stares at Frank, extending his hand, "Im Mikey. Mikey fuckin Way."
Frank takes his hand and shakes it slowly, "Im Frank Iero. That's all." Mikey cocks his head, staring at Frank. Out if nowhere, Mikey jumps up and tackles me, place his hands in my shoulder and shaking me, "ARE YOU GUYS DATING?!? WHEN'S THE WEDDING?!? I CAN BE THE FLOWER GIRL! RIGHT CAN I GEE? CAN I?"
I stare at him, horrified. I listen as Frank giggles hysterically. "MIKEY!" I yell, "YOU'RE FUCKING CRAZY! GET HELP!"
Mikey stops shaking me, then crosses arms over his chest, still sitting in my lap. His makes a pouty face, then sticks his tongue out at me. I push him off of me, making him fall onto the floor, right on his ass.
"Ow! You fucking chickenshit!" He screams. Frank and I laugh. I stand up and grab my bag, "Lets just go. We're gonna be late."


Frank and I sit in third period, not paying attention. We have double desks in this class, seating only two people so we sit together. I sit there doodling in my notebook as Frank draws pictures on the empty spaces if his hands that aren't covered by tattoos. He's such a dork.
The teacher is currently giving us a lecture on an upcoming test or something that I don't give a fuck about. And Frank doesn't have to take it because he's new. All seems fine in the world until I hear snickering behind me. I turn around to see Mason and Charlie.
Mason; Attractive, poplular, competitive, on the football team, oh yeah, and he fucking hates my guts.
And Charlie is just a complete fucking freak who always has something smart to say.
Mason smiles at me kindly, which shocks me. He leans forward and points to Frank, "Who's that?" He smiles.
I scoff and roll my eyes, turning around again. I actually start to listen to the teacher when I feel something get thrown at the back of my head.
I turn around and scowl at Charlie, "What?"
Before they can talk, the lunch bell rings. Everybody hoorays and rushes out the door. I grab Franks wrist and drag him out if there and to the cafeteria.
When we get in, I rush to our table, taking a seat, Frank next to me like yesterday. He pulls out his phone, checking his Twitter and texting. I grab a bag of Doritos out of my backpack and open them, eating them quickly. I search around until I finally see him.
Jared is walking toward the table, lunch tray in his hands. He has on dark blue skinnies, a purple tank top that says
'D O N E', with a blue beanie and dark purple converse. I look at Jared's arms and notice tons of bracelets on them.
Jared down across from me, not even bothering to look at me. I watch him carefully as he takes a bite of his pizza, I notice one his bracelets slip. I frown when I see two thin red lines.
I sigh loudly and stand up, grabbing my bag and rushing out of the cafeteria.
I push past dozens of people, and run toward the bathrooms, tears pouring down my face. I lock myself in a stall, sliding my back down the wall. I sit on the floor sobbing, realizing that I made my best friend cut himself. I really, really, fucked up this time.
I sit there moping, until I hear the door creak open. I hear the shuffling of shoes and a tiny cough. "Gerard?" A weak voice says. Frank. I stand up and open the stall, finding Frank standing right outside of the door. I wipe my eyes as he gives me a sympathetic look. "Are you okay Gee?"
I shake my head. He opens his arms. I fall into him, his arms wrapping around me softly.
"You're gonna be okay." He whispers. I pull away.
"This is fucked up." I say. "I should be comforting you, nothing fucking happened to me."
His face drops a little. He looks up at me with sad eyes, staring into my soul. "Gerard," He sighs, "I honestly am really accepting of Iris's death. I know her, she would want me to move on and be happy. That's what I'm trying to do. Yeah, I loved her, I still do, I always will. But she would hate for me to keep dwelling on her."
He looks up at me and stand in his tiptoes, his hand behind his back. I watch him, confused, as he plants a soft kiss on my lips. He pulls away and blushes, "Oh my god, I am so sorry. I-I couldn't help myself-"
I cup the sides if his face in my hands and bring him back up to my lips, kissing him softly. He tenses at first, then relaxes, closing his eyes. His arms wrap around my waist, bringing me closer.
And I can't help but feel guilty

Notes

hey happy march 22nd bitches