Forget About The Dirty Looks.

I get woken up at around three in the morning, but this time it's not me having the nightmares. It's Gerard. He wakes me by calling out to whoever he's dreaming about, telling them to stop whatever it is they're doing to him. He's thrashing around in the blankets, kicking his legs, throwing his clenched fists around. I'm scared to get close to him, but I know I need to wake him up.
"Fra-Frankie, help me! Frankie!" I think that he's awake for a second, but he's still dreaming. It's horrible to watch, I feel like my heart's being ripped out of my chest. I now know how Gerard feels when he wakes up to me kicking and screaming, and the feeling is terrible.
"Gerard, wake up!" I get as close as I dare, and shake him. I don't know what to do, how to wake him. I decide I don't care if I get hit, and try to get the sheets off him. When I do, he stops thrashing around as much, but still looks really disturbed. I grab his shoulders and shake him, he still doesn't wake up.
I run to the bathroom, and fill up a jug of cold water, and run back to my room. Gerard is curled up into a ball, shaking, still telling them to stop. As I go to dump the water on him, he screams. My hand's are shaking, and I tip the water on him.
He gasps and sits bolt upright, his chest heaving. He wildly looks around the room, his eyes glassy. His expression is heartbreaking, he looks so childlike and scared. He sees me and his eyes show some relief, but he's still deeply disturbed by the nightmare and his chest still heaves. He then breaks down, and I stand unsure of what to do. I hesitantly reach out and stroke his cheek, but my actions send him backwards, and he ends up on the other side of the bed, almost falling off. Tears are still streaming from his eyes, and his breathing has picked up in speed. He stares straight at me. Well, he stares straight through me...
"Gerard? You're okay, it's me, Frankie. It was only a dream, Gee.." I tell him what I always hate to be told after a nightmare. No, it isn't just a dream.. It's a fucking nightmare, and they are really fucking mentally scarring.
My words manage to break him out of his daze somewhat. He stops staring through me , and looks at me instead.
"Frankie?" His voice is pitiful, and tears are still running down his cheeks. His eyes are still glassy, and I can tell he's still reliving the dream, over and over in his head.
"Yes, Gerard. It's me... Am I okay to touch you, or is it too soon?" I may not know exactly what he was dreaming about, and may never will, but I still have a damn good idea, and the thought breaks my heart. He was dreaming about the people that used to be his friends, and what they used to do to him. He told us he was high or drunk when they did it, but I don't think he was as intoxicated as he let on, he probably wouldn't have such vivid dreams if he were.
"I'm sorry, Frankie, but just please give me some space.." His voice is vacant, and it's like he's answering a call to somebody he barely knows, he's being really formal.
"Okay, Gee. I'm just going to sit on the bed, okay?" I slowly walk over to the edge of the bed and sit down. Gerard flinches at my slight movement, so I try to keep as still as possible, being as slow as possible. He's staring at the duvet and absent mindedly biting at his lip, hard enough to make it bleed. He looks like a wounded animal, his shoulders are hunched, his hands shaky, and his breaths coming in shallow pants. I don't know what to do to get him to stop being like this; to come back to reality, and it's scaring me.
"Gee, do you want to talk about it? Don't bottle it up, it's not good for you.." My voice is soft and gentle, so as not to scare him. It scares him anyway, and he jumps, releasing his lip. He shakes his head, and moves a little closer to me. He is starting to slowly come back to me, I think. He looks me in the eyes, and I wish he hadn't. Gerard's eyes look haunted; tortured. I have to look away, before I do something stupid like cry and launch myself at him, and hug him until his eyes get the glow back to them. When I finally look back up, Gerard has moved closer to me. He's now only a little bit away from me, and his posture has relaxed a bit.
"Gee? Please talk to me.. You're scaring me, I.. I don't know what to do, what to say.." He just looks at, his expression defeated. He starts to cry again, but this time he sobs, making the first noise out of his mouth in about thirty minutes. His eyes are screwed shut, his mouth slightly ajar. I've never seen anybody cry as hard as this, not since my mom got really bad. The sounds leaving his mouth are heartbreaking, and I wrap my arms around him, forgetting why I haven't touched him for the past forty minutes. Gerard doesn't seem to mind, he leans into my touch. We sit there for God know's how long. I just rock him back and forth, and he just cries, eventually getting too tired to make noises, and his shoulders just move up and down occasional, heaving with a silent sob.
After a while he calms down, the occasional tear goes down his face. He even looks perfect when he cries. He shifts and lies down, pulling me with him. His head lies in the hollow of my neck, and his legs are intertwined with mine. My arms are still around him, one hand gripping his hand, the other stroking his hair. I start to hum, making the tune of a song I've been working on recently. His breathing is completely calm now, except for the occasional sniffle.
neither of is talk, and I think Gerard must fall asleep, because the sniffling stops and he's limp. I shift , trying to get into a more comfortable position. After all, we have got school tomorrow. I fall asleep quite quickly, and my slumber is dreamless.

The alarms goes off, the shrill noise cutting into my sleep. I groan and put my hand out, trying to hit the snooze button. I can't quite find it, so I pick up the alarm and throw it across the room. The thing hits a wall or something, and it makes a satisfying crunch. I smile, my eyes closed still. The smile gets wiped off my face when I hear my mom shouting me.
"Frank, that better not have been another alarm clock! If you want a new one, in future, buy your own! You better wake up as well, you are definitely going school today!" Her voice makes my head hurt, but maybe that could just be the lack of sleep. I stand up, and stretch, groaning. Gerard is still fast asleep, and he curls up in the covers. I don't want to wake him, he looks so peaceful. I sigh and put a shirt on, not wanting my mom to see the marks all over my torso, made by the sleeping beauty himself. I decide to wake him up with a nice, hot cup of coffee, to sweeten him up a bit. I make my way down the stairs, slowly, my mind still foggy from sleep.
I make the coffee, managing to burn myself kn the hot milk. My mom walks into the kitchen and kisses me on the cheek, and walks back out again, yelling a 'Goodbye' over her shoulder. I chuckle to myself, amused by my mom's antics. I walk back upstairs, and go into my room.
Gerard is sat up, still cocooned by the duvet. He smiles when I walk in, but behind the somewhat genuine smile, there is still the pain and the haunting look in his eyes from last night. I force a smile back, and place his cup of coffee beside him, on the little table.
"While you wake yourself up, I'm going to grab a shower, you can have one afterwards, if you want. We've still got a lot of time, like, an hour and a half, until we have to go. Take your time, we've got plenty.." I smile again, pat his leg and walk over to my closet, finding an outfit. I find one and walk to the bathroom, turning on the shower. Once it's warm, I strip and climb under the warm water. I make the shower quick, and step out, gasping when the cold air hits my skin. I get dressed and brush my teeth. Leaving my hair slightly damp, I walk back to my room. Gerard is still half asleep, clutching the mug.
"C'mon lazy bones, up you get!" Gerard groans, not wanting to be pulled out of his half-slumber. He grumpily sits up, and downs the rest of his coffee.
"I'm just going to go back to mine to get dressed, none of your clothes or anything will fit me. See you in half an hour, I'll be back round soon!" He shoves on his jeans and t-shirt from yesterday, presses a chaste kiss to my lips and flounces out of the door, his mood completely changing. A second ago he was half asleep, not wanting to get up, now he's bounding across the street and into his house... That boy, I swear...
I wait around for a while, but get bored. I'm hungry, and my stomach is telling me to go make food. So I do; I make some toast, nothing fancy. Once I've done that, I make myself a cup of coffee, having not had one this morning . While I wait for the milk to boil, the door knocks, snapping me out of a daze. I answer the door, not at all surprised when I see Gerard. He has a grin on his face, and has seemingly forgotten about last night. I invite him in, and pour my milk.
"Hey, where's mine? I love coffee just as much as you do, Frankie! " He's pouting, and pulling the puppy dog face, so I sigh and get more milk to make him a coffee.
He grins when I put the mug in front of him, very pleased with himself. I chuckle at the grin, making him look up at me, his face confused as to why I'm laughing. I shake my head, giving him a silent 'it doesn't matter' and he rolls his eyes, sipping at his coffee. I drink mine in about four gulps, and run back upstairs to clean my teeth, not wanting to smell of coffee. When I get back down the stairs, I glance at the clock, and see we've got about half an hour before we have to get to school. Gerard, by now, has finished his coffee and is rinsing out mine and his cups, singing softly to himself. I stand in the doorway, listening to him, smiling.
"You're a really good singer, Gerard. Have you ever had singing lessons?" My voice startles him, and he jumps slightly before turning around. he shakes his head, and leans on the counter, crossing his arms
"No, I haven't. Not proper ones, anyway; my Grandma used to sing with us, when we were younger, and I guess her little lessons have always stuck with me," He shrugs, and clears his throat, "She used to play the piano, and me and Mikey used to stand around it, singing silly, little songs that I can't even remember now. It was fun, though, I do remember the laughs we had.." He trails off and looks wistfully at the ground. He still misses his Grandma, and he obviously really loves her.
"Hey, Frankie?" I look at him and lift my eyebrows in response, making him go on.
"Thanks for, uh, last night, you didn't need to sit through all of that... You could have just called Mikey, y'know... Thanks, Frankie.." He smiles at me, but it's only a small smile.
"Gee, you do it for me.. It's only fair to help you back," I shrug and let a small half smile on my face, "Besides, I'd do anything for you, you don't even have to ask"

Notes

Sorry if it's too short or whatever, I wrote this on my tablet. I couldn't be bothered to put in the italics or anything, I'll probably do that tomorrow, if I get a chance.
Hope you like it; comment and shit, let me know what you think. Thanks for reading this, anyway...xo