I was tied to something... A wall or a pole or a pole or something.
"Frankie, let's have a bit of quality time together, how about it? It'll be like old times, won't it son?" A voice I know all too well is speaking. He has got me somehow. What about Gerard? Shit, my mom...
"Fuck you, I hate you!" My mouth once again speaks without permission, and I know that merits a punishment. A sharp ringing sound resonates through the air, like leather on concrete. Shit, his belt, his favorite fucking belt!
"Now, now, Frankie, that's no way to speak to your old man, is it? Remember what happened when you talked back to me last time?" Oh, I remember all too well. It was horrible, I had to watch him beat my mom, half to death.
"I.. I'm, I'm sorry. Please don't hurt mom, again. She doesn't deserve it!" I can feel the beads of sweat running down my neck, forehead; pooling in my temple.
"Who says it's you mom? It could be a certain faggoty black-haired boy, Gerald, is it?" You can practically hear the smirk in his voice, and he sounds so pleased with himself. It takes a few seconds for his words to sink in, but when they do I am screaming, straining against my restraints.
"You let him go, you bastard! Leave him alone! Don't you dare touch him, I'll fucking kill you, you hear? I'll kill you!" I'm aware that my cheeks are wet, and I'm glad there is darkness all around me. I'm still struggling against the restraints when the laughter begins. It's the sort of laughter that makes your blood run cold; the sort of laughter that you hear in an insane asylum for the criminally insane. It's terrifying, and I'm worried that he has already hurt Gerard. My Gerard. As I come to that realization, I stop everything, even breathing.
That man, my dad, is still laughing. The laughter is humorless. He sounds dead.
"Frankie, you'll kill me? Me? Ha-ha. I can't believe you can come out with that shit when your locked up and can't get out, and Gerald over here is an unconscious lump on the floor! You will kill me?" His dead, dry laughter chokes up the sentence, but I can still make it out. Gerard is unconscious, and it's my fault. All my fault.
I hear a low whine, and some choked coughs. Gerard.
"Gerard! Gerard, are you okay? I'm sorry, this is all my fault... I'm so sorry, honey.." My voice is pathetic, and at that moment I couldn't care less as to whether he picks up on it. Gerard may be hurt, but he's still alive, that's all that matters.
"Frankie? Is that you?" Gerard's voice is wheezy and sounds chocked; but it's still his voice and a smile lights up my face.
"Yeah. Yeah, it's me. Are you okay? Where are you hurt, Gee?"
"Ugh, fuck you Frank. This is all your fault! I wouldn't be here with some.. some psycho if it weren't for you! I hate you, Frank Iero!" His voice starts out weak but gets stronger and more venomous as he goes along. He hates me. Gerard hates me and it's all because of my father.
"Wha... What do you mean? I didn't ask for this! I didn't ask for any of this!" My voice is pathetic and strangled, but the anger in it is evident. I'm angry at Gerard, but I'm most angry at the man that caused this. I could just rip his intestines out of his body and feed them to pigs, right in-front of him. I hate him. No, hate is an understatement. I loathe that man.
Do you know what, dad? I hate you! Fuck you, you've ruined my life! Why can't you just kill me now?"
"Oh, but Frank, that would be boring, I want to have fun with you, like I did your mom. I just love hearing people beg for death. The way your mom screamed, Frank. I'm surprised she didn't tear her vocal chords or something. God..." He trails off like he's remembering it. My mom; he got my mom. I'm really crying now. I don't have anybody left. My mom is dead, Gerard hates me... I just cry, loudly, not caring if either of them think I'm pathetic.
"Ha, you're pathetic, Frank. Pathetic. A waste of space, I should of drowned you in the bathtub the first time I saw you, I knew you'd turn out as a failure..." He sounds genuinely disheartened, and I stop crying.
Instead, I sing; I sing anything and everything. I sing anything that pops into my head, my mom's favorite song is the first thing. Johnny Cash's 'Jackson' was her favorite song, she loved how June and Johnny's voices sounded together. I sing it through twice and I can hear my dad shouting; screaming at me to stop. I don't, and carry on singing songs.
I think I have finally gone crazy, because I find myself singing the Telly-Tubby theme tune, and laughing. He must have given up on trying to stop me a while ago, because I can't hear him any longer. What I do hear, though, is something that makes me shut up immediately.
Gerard's weak cries of pain echo around the otherwise silent room.
"Ahh, that shut you up, didn't it, Frank. Even though he says he hates you, you still don't want him to get hurt. How sweet..." The room is still dark, so I can't see anything, but I can feel Gerard's pain.
"Gerard, I'm so sorry. I never wanted this to happen. What shall I do?" Instead of Gerard answering me, my dad does.
"Frank, there is nothing you can do. You can just sit and listen to his pain, knowing you caused it.." He sounds smug, and my anger rises again.
"Oh, fuck off. You caused this, you have to beat people half the size of, because you are a coward, aren't you? A big, fucking coward!" I'm screaming at him, having finally snapped. I hear him thudding toward me, breathing heavy.
"I'm not a fucking coward, you hear? I'm not a coward!" I seem to have struck a nerve with my words because his voice is raw; with what emotion, I don't know.
"Honestly, I beg to differ. You are a coward, you have to tie me up and beat Gerard just to feel powerful!" I hear a growl, and feel the punch.
Pain explodes up my face, and I cry out.
"I'm not a fucking coward, you little cock-sucker!" His fists rain down on me, but I'm not going unconscious. The pain is too much, I feel like my face has imploded or something. Finally, the world fades to black, and I'm not sure if I'm dying or just passing out. Whatever I'm doing, I'm panicking, and screaming. I think I scream Gerard's name, just before everything goes black, but it could just have been my imagination.
"Frankie! Frankie, wake up! Frankie, Frankie, Frankie... Shit!" I'm awake, but only just. What the hell is going on? After a beating like that, I would hurt for at least a week, if not more and I feel physically fine. Mentally, not so much.
I jerk up, and look around. I'm still panicking, breathing heavy, sweating. My legs and arms are tangled in something, and I'm freaking out. I scream again and flail around. My fist connects with something, and they grunt.
"Frankie, calm down. It was just a dream, you're safe now!" Gerard. I thought he hated me? It couldn't have been just a dream, it felt so real.
"But... But you hate me! My dad has us, and he's killed my mom! Gerard, you hate me! Oh, God. Oh My God.." I'm sobbing, and rocking my words barely coherent. He's killed my mom. Gerard hates me. I'm having a mental breakdown, and my dad has us in a warehouse or something.
"Frankie! Calm the fuck down! You need to fucking breathe! It. Was. Just. A. Dream. It was just a dream, Frankie. Please stop this... I don't hate you, I'm your boyfriend! Your mom is fine, I just called her, telling her to come over. God, Frankie, breathe, please.."
His voice, normally so strong, is weak and is pleading with me, breaking on the last word. I look up at him, and he has tears rolling down his cheeks. I try to calm my breathing, closing my eyes and thinking of happy memories, but every time I do, Gerard's, my dad's words play back in my ears. My breathing is picking up speed again, and tears fall faster. I let out a chocked sob and throw myself at Gerard, trying to convince myself that it was just a dream, Gerard's here, and he doesn't hate me. Well, not yet at least. He hugs back just as fiercely and I kiss him all over his face, still crying.
"I'm.. I'm so sorry Gerard... I keep putting you through things like this.. I'm a fuck up, I'm sorry I ever dragged you into my messes. Just tell me to leave now, save us all some grief.." He sighs and shakes his head.
"Frankie, I'm not going to get rid of you. You need somebody to help you, and I want to be that person. You don't need to be sorry. It scares the shit out of me when you do that, but most of all I'm just worried. I care for you deeply, and I don't want to see you hurting." I nod, not knowing what to say back, and somebody bursts into the basement.
"Oh, Frankie! What happened in this one? Oh dear God, I love you so much, you know that right?" My mom. She smells of vanilla and home. I breathe in her scent as I hug her, grateful that she's here and not dead on a floor somewhere.
"Oh, mom, it was horrible. He killed you, that's never happened before. He had Gerard and he'd killed you and he beat me and it was just horrible and I hate him! I hate him so much, mom! So, so much.." I'm crying again, this time out of anger at him, and what he's done to us. My tears are soaking through my mom's pajama shirt, and she hugs me so tight I can barely breathe; stroking my hair, an action I've found comforting for forever.
"I know, sweetheart, I know. I hate him, too. Shh, now. It's okay; he hasn't gotten me, Gerard, or you. We're all safe, it's okay. Shh, Shh.." She's rocking me, and humming The Smiths' Asleep to me.
Asleep has been the song she hums or sings to me when I'm upset for seven years, after I discovered it and she found me asleep on my bed listening to it. She sang it to me after my dad was being mean, or one of us had just been beat, it calms her down as well as me, I suppose.
I'm drifting off, and I hear mom and Gerard quietly talking. They're talking about me, I can tell. The conversation is so quiet that I can hardly hear, but the bits I can hear are things about my nightmares, and how bad they can get.
"This is his second nightmare since he's been here, with me. This was the worst, but the first was pretty scary as well. I managed to calm him down, but this time I'd been shouting him for about five minutes before he woke up, and I think he was still in his dream when he became conscious. It was scary, Ms Iero. Does he do it often when he's at home?" Gerard sounds so weak, he's tired and worried; never a good combination.
"Yeah, it does, but never this bad. He's never really found us since we ran away, so I guess this has shook Frankie up a bit. When we first left, and he was going through interviews, was when it was really bad. He used to sleepwalk and stuff, once he even fell down the stairs, running away from whatever he was dreaming about. Sometimes he screams as well. God, he can scream so loud, it's terrible. They are the ones I know truly tortures him, because normally he doesn't speak for a few days and shuts himself off." I can't hear much more than that, and I'm drifting in and out of sleep. I think I finally sleep, because the next thing I know, somebody is waking me up, saying that we have to get ready for school.
"Ugh, but Gee.... I don't want to go today! Please don't make me go!" I sound weak and pathetic, exactly how I don't want to sound. Gerard sighs and shakes me again, gently.
"I'm sorry, Frankie, but we have to. It's our second week, and there's a lot of stuff going on; like our music project.. We need to practice and stuff." I roll over, groaning. I stretch and slowly sit up, rubbing my eyes. Gerard is watching me with worried eyes, a frown etched upon his perfect face.
"Okay, okay. I'm up!" I try and sound cheerful, and succeed somewhat, but Gerard is still frowning. I smile at him and jump up. I walk over to him; Gerard's oblivious to his surroundings, so he doesn't even notice me. I wrap my arms around him, putting my head on his chest. His heartbeat is faster than normal, and I think that has something to do with what's going on in his head.
"Gerard?" He grunts in response, finally coming out of his trance.
"I'm okay, y'know. It was only a nightmare. Sure, it was a bad one, but I've been through worse. Stop worrying, and smile. There is only one way to happiness, and that is to stop worrying about things that are beyond the power of our will." He looks at me, eyebrows raised.
"Yeah, and where did you get that little quote from, Frankie? You didn't come up with it, not at this time of the morning, surely.." He is smiling a little and I'm pleased that I cheered him up, even if just a little.
"Oh, you know, just a friendly yellow bear that likes honey and lives in the one hundred acre woods..." I'm smirking, and so is Gerard. He lets out a little chuckle.
"You got that from Winnie the Pooh? Wow, Frankie, how many times have you watched it to be able to memorize that quote?" He is properly smiling now, the sparkle has returned to his eyes.
I blush, knowing that I can't lie to him and tell him that I've watched it quite a lot, He laughs loudly this time.
"Frankie, I'm never going to let you live this down, you know that, right? When we're old I'm going to bring it up to you, when we're at school I'm going to bring it up to you..." I shove him and pick out an outfit for myself, knowing Gerard would've said yes to me borrowing his clothes anyway.
"Gerard, can I use your shower? I feel gross.." He nods, absentmindedly and gestures to the bathroom. He's looking at something on his desk, probably a drawing. I shower and shove on my clothes, towel drying my hair.
When I walk back into Gerard's room, he's sat on the bed, tying his shoelaces. He stops to look at me, his eyes working their way down my body and back up again.
"Have I ever told you how good you look with my clothes on. They look better on you than me, y'know." He's looking me right in the eyes, and I feel the blush creeping up my neck, towards my cheeks.
"Well, have I ever told you how fucking good you look in anything? You're really fucking hot, y'know?" I try to copy his tone and I think I get right, because he smirks.
"Oh, yeah? Well, you look really good when you're in just a towel, blushing because I just kissed you..." I blush and look down. Gerard makes his way over to me.
"And, have I ever told you how cute you look when you blush?" He's leaning into me, and whispering into my ear. I nod my head slightly.
"Y-yeah you, uh, might have mentioned it once or twice..." My voice is slightly shaky, and it has everything to do with the fact he's standing so close. Shall I kiss him? I don't think I've ever initiated a kiss between us, and I'm nervous. I decide to go for it, taking Gerard by surprise. He freezes for a second, then throws himself into the kiss.
He wraps his arms around me, bringing me closer to him, I wrap my arms around his neck, trying to eliminate any barriers of space between us. This kiss, unlike the others, is needy, fast, and really passionate. I part my mouth slightly, inviting him in. He slips his tongue in and we fight for dominance. He wins, and bites my lip. Teeth clash, hands grip hair and explore bodies. His hands slide to my ass and he squeezes it, making me gasp in surprise, he chuckle and the sound makes my lips vibrate. The kiss is getting increasingly rough, and he taps my thighs, saying 'jump' in a deep raw voice that gives me the shivers. I do, and he makes my legs wrap around his torso. He walks over to wall, and leans me up it, pinning me to it. We pull away for air, gasp a few times, and go straight back into the kiss. With our lungs filled with air again, the kiss is faster, and rougher.
Gerard pins my arms up above my head, linking our fingers. His hands slide under my t-shirt, hands going towards my back. He pulls me toward him and I pull roughly on his hair, making him make a sound somewhere between a moan and a groan. I pull his hair again, smirking into the kiss, making him full-on moan this time. He bites my lip, and I moan. It's his turn to smirk, and he grabs my ass again, making me gasp. I'm running out of air, and so is Gerard, so I pull away, panting. Gerard's hair is messed up, but in a good way. He looks sexy, and I can feel the bulge in his pants. I can feel the bulge in my pants, too, and it's uncomfortable.
"Got a little problem there, Frankie?" He's smirking, his eyes have a teasing glint in them.
"Yeah, but so have you. 'Little Gerard' has decided to come for a visit, hasn't he, Gee?" I'm smirking, too. After a minute we both look at each other and laugh. He leans in again, and this kiss is quick but sweet. He lets me down from the wall, and realization dawns on his face.
"Shit, Frankie, we're late! It's halfway through first period... Shall we just skip till lunch? We don't have music until last period, and that's the only decent lesson we have today, I think.." I ponder a second, trying to remember my timetable and nod.
"Yeah, but what shall we do in the meantime?" As I ask the question, my stomach rumbles. Gerard laughs and says that he'll make me some pancakes.
We walk upstairs, not needing to be quiet because Donna has gone to work, and Mikey is at school.
As it turns out, Gerard can't make pancakes; Gerard can't cook at all. I have to make them, but the only lets me after he gets three pancakes stuck on the ceiling, pancake batter all over the oven and has burnt two. My pancakes turn out perfect, and Gerard begrudgingly eats them.
"I could have done way better, Frankie. I was just warming up, I haven't cooked the in a few weeks!"
"I haven't cooked pancakes in a few years, Gee.. Just admit it, you are a terrible cook!" He pouts, but after I threaten to pour the rest of the pancake batter down his pants, he admits it. By the time we have finished eating, cleaning and Gerard had to change it's almost lunch time at school. We have about half an hour until we have to go, and we don't know what to do.
We spend most of the time arguing of what to do, and we don't actually get to do anything.

We walk to school and get there just in time for the lunch bell to ring. Neither of us are hungry, so instead of lining up in the queue, we just go sit at our table. Mikey and Ray spots us and smile.
"What the hell has happened to you guys? You weren't in yesterday, over half of today. Good job actually, Craig was looking for you both. He doesn't look happy! All you have to do is make it through lunch, and he'll probably have forgotten about it by tomorrow. He's pretty stupid, isn't he?" Ray speaks, happy as always and rambles slightly causing us all to laugh at him. He looks around at us and pouts.
"Don't laugh at me! I'm just pretty excited to see you two... What happened to you, anyway?"
Me and Gerard look at each other and start to speak at the same time. I say that it's a long story, Gerard says that 'me and Frankie settled our differences, and got together'. Ray and Mikey's jaws drops, and they look like they don't believe us.
"What? When did this happen? You hated each other less than a week ago, and now you're dating?" Mikey speaks first, and Ray nods along with him. Before we can answer any of his question, we hear an annoying voice; one that could only belong to Craig.
"Ha-ha, so the two faggots are dating? I want to speak to you about something, Frank, Gerard. I believe you owe me and my friends a bit of money?"
Well, shit....

Notes

Well, what's Craig going to do? Ooo, a bit of a cliff-hanger! Hope you like it, comment and shit, maybe? It's always nice to know what people think of you... Thanks for reading!xo

Aww........