It was always just me and my mom, I really love her, she is my everything. Every time I felt down, mom came into my room and made me feel happy again.
She also got me through self harm, she always said she loves me so much and ask why I would do this to my beautiful body, I knew the answer but I wouldn't say it out loud. I'm ugly and worthless, I have no friends, in school people either call me emo fagot or ignore me. I'm really thankful for these who ignore me, because my bullies always push me against lockers or beat me until I'm a crying mess on the ground.
One time they would beat me so hard I ended up in the hospital, I told my mom I fell down the stairs at school but she didn't buy that and frost me to tell her who put me into my misery. I broke down at the time she finisher her question, I cried on her shoulder and told her everything. After that our bond was even stronger than before, I dropped out of school and got home schooled. Mom made an appointment with a therapist, who made me feel normal again, I didn't saw myself as ugly, fat and pathetic anymore, I really felt normal.

Today my home teacher was ill, so I did nothing the whole day, well I watched the first season of teenage mutant ninja turtles for the 100. time, so I did something productive. At 2 pm. I heard the front door open, I jumped up from my comfortable nest I build myself on our couch and greeted my mom with a big loving hug.
“what was that for?” mum asked after I let go of her.
“I missed you” I said smiling up to her.
“oh is that so?! Well I missed you too but I bet you forget to clean your room and sat in front of the TV all day.”
Shit, she knew me too well. “No actually I really did clean my room” I said with a smirk on my lips.
“Okay then I can go upstairs and check your room and everything will be cleaned up?!”
Now I'm fucked because my room was the opposite from cleaned up, it was a mess. There were boxer shorts everywhere, clean and dirty ones. Probably some used tissues next to my bed and I don't need to tell you for what I used them, do I?
I didn't want mom to see that, so I started running up the stairs, I heard mom running after me. At first she laughed but then her laughter turned into heavy coughing. I turned around and saw mom as a coughing mess on the stairs. She looked up to me and tried to speak but that made her coughing even worse and she almost throw up. I rushed to her side and helped her up and into her bedroom.
After a while mums coughing calmed down and after she drank some water she managed to speak.
“Baby, I need-”
“Mum, are you okay again? What's wrong?” I asked with fear.
“Frankie, listen, tomorrow I need to see the doctor and I want you to come with me.”
“Why do you need to see the doctor?”
“I will explain everything to you later, okay baby. I'm really tired, I want to sleep for a bit.”
“okay mum, I will be in my room. If you need me-”
“Yeah, I know, I just need to call your name and you will come running to my room.” she said chuckling.
I smiled at her and left the room.

At the time my mom woke up she told me to come downstairs. I went into the kitchen, where I found her sitting on the table with her head in her hands. I approached her and sat down in the chair next to her.
“Mom what's going on?”
I heard a sob coming from between her hands.
“Mom tell me what happened?”
She toke her hands from her face and hold my hand instead.
“Baby you need to listen until the end and keep calm alright?” she ask with a little voice.
I nodded, she smiled at me and squeezed my hand.
“I was at a normal check up in the hospital and they said they needed to make some more tests. After a week I got the test results, I didn't even know what they had tested. Doctor Malcom told me that I have lung cancer.” My heart stopped beading for a moment. I couldn't concentrate, I had so many questions. I just stared at mom and saw that she had tears streaming down her face.
“Frank don't cry, everything is going to be okay.”
I didn't even noticed that I was crying. Then I reached out and hugged her, as if my life depended on it. I started to sob into her shoulder, we stayed in this position for a while. Mom pulled away and smiled at me and kissed my forehead.
“Everything is okay.” I didn't want to let go of her, I wanted to hug her all night.
“Mom can I sleep in your bed tonight?”
“Of course, sweetie.” she hugged me one more time before we went upstairs together, changed into our pj's and go to bed.

The next morning we woke up at 10 am and the doctors appointment was at 11:30, so we had enough time to eat breakfast and get ready.
At 11:35 we arrived, late as always, at the hospital where we rushed to the office of Doctor Malcom. At first my mum went inside, I needed to wait outside because mom wanted to talk alone to the doctor. After 30 minutes I heard the door of the office open and my mom told me to come in.
I sat next to her in one of these black leather chairs in front of a big wooden desk. Behind the desk sat a man who looked like Mr. Filch from Harry Potter.
“Hello, Frank right?” I smiled and nodded my head.
“Alright then, you know that your mother has lunge cancer?” I nodded again and tried to hold back my tears.
“Well we made some tests, to look how much time we have to help your mom and unfortunately we can't operate the cancer. So we try to help your mother stay as long as we can.”
At that point I was a sobbing mess, I tried to calm down but I couldn't.
After mom talked to the doctor one more time, we went back home and sat on the couch and watched a movie.
40 minutes into the movie I looked over to Mom and saw that she was asleep. I cuddled into her side and breathed in her scent, it smelled like vanilla and something undefinable but it smelled good. With that scent in my nose I fell into a tight sleep.

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