Disenchanted

Its 8:00 pm

Gerard and I are watching Gerard's favorite horror movie Suspiria in his room. When we got to his house Mikey was asleep on the couch and we didn't want to wake him up. Gerard said his Grandparents wouldn't be home until late because they were helping out with a Halloween fest with their friends. We were sitting on Gerard's bed during the movie. His room was messy but really cool. He had a bunch of horror movie posters on his wall and band posters near his bed. And his desk was filled with comics that he had written and drawn. Gerard was literally perfect. I wanted to move in close to him and have him hug me but, again we had only met that day. I was lost in thought and i didn't realize the movie had ended.

"Frank ...... um Frank" Gerard said as I snapped out of my thoughts. "Oh yeah sorry haha just a lot on my mind I guess" I said. there was a slightly awkward silence. Then Gerard said " soo what did you think of the movie? Its one of my favorites." I said " the movie was brilliant" but in a not so enthusiastic tone. Gerard said " Frank are you alright? you seem down." I smiled and said " I'm alright i'm just tired. Gerard looking kind of hurt said " oh so i guess you want to leave now?" and I didnt know what to say because I really didn't want to leave I wanted to talk to him more and get close to him. so I said " well to be honest i don't really want to leave. I want to get to know you better. Is it okay if I stay a bit longer?" his face lit up with the most beautiful smile I have ever seen and he said " yes! you can stay as long as you want frankie." we layed on his bed and just talked about everything. I told him about my parents living in France and how they think I am a complete Fuck Up. When i told him that he rolled over hugged me and said " I don't think you are a Fuck up, I think they just misunderstand you. You're not like other kids, you are just different and i like different its a good thing. No one wants to be just like everybody else. There is no fun in that." I smiled at Gerard and He said " Frankie I think I should tell you something." I was worried by the tone of his voice....... what if he has a girlfriend...... "hmm?" I said. "Well Frankie, I cant help but feel somewhat attracted to you. Its been on my mind all day and I think I have feelings for you" he said nervously. My heart dropped and I looked at him and said " umm what? uhh I think I should be going home." I completely panicked. what the fuck was I supposed to say..... i mean hell yeah I have feelings for him to but..... FUCK I JUST RUINED EVERYTHING.. As I ran back to my house tears were forming as I walked into the door. I went straight to bed just crying I felt like I was in pain again. I went to the bathroom took out one of my blades and slashed the word FUCK UP on my thigh. I can't believe I just ran out of there... I didn't even tell him how I felt.. He probably hates me now.. I should just kill myself and end all of this pain....I just slashed more deep cuts on my wrists and thighs.. crying.. I went back into my bed and cried myself to sleep.

Notes

Alright soo again Ive been busy soo i have no idea where the story is going to go from here but I like what I have written so far :). and thanks for all the sweet comments <3. The title is from the song Pressure by Paramore.