Love Is Insanity

"That's it, im kicking you out of here if you don't tell me what's up!" I shouted at Ray chucking the controller on my battered floor. It had been 2 hours since Ray had came over and he hadn't said anything apart from 'your fucking useless at this game.' So i thought, i need a threat, because he's been like this for a week now since the coffee shop. I know it wasn't me, and certainly not Gerard. He had been looking down at his phone in starbucks, and whenever we would bump into eachother at the park. His eyes never left it, apart from today. I had managed to persuade him to have a game with me and forget whatever shit was bugging him.
"Get your bag then, your out!" I was fed up of everything. Fed up of Ray giving me the silent treatment, and certainly fed up of being confused over my gender preference. Was i gay, and did i actually have feelings for Gerard. Yesterday was just so perfect, and his speech had brought me to tears, but it also made me confused. Did he say this to lure me into a trap and then leave me, or did he really see me as a person he could tell this to. I had been betrayed so many times i didn't know if i should trust him or not.
"Fine.." Ray stood up and towered over me like a huge boulder, and i sat back down leaning backwards.
"W-what?" I shuddered.
"I said FINE!" He yelled in my face, and then to approach the space on the bed next to me. His expression was so stern he could freeze hot water in seconds. His eyes were bleeding into mine as the atmosphere became very tense.
"He cheated on me, and i kicked him out..." His lip was trembling and his hands were shaking furiously in his tear stained lap.
"We-" I began to say.
"He just threw it all away, and after 8 fucking months! We did EVERYTHING together, and we promised eachother no lies. He wasn't that guy..he was so generous and kind. But, i lost it, and i don't know what i did!" The tears began to flow even more around his dark circled eyes. I wrapped my arms around his tall figure, stroking his side. He dove his head into my shoulder, and sniffled into it.
"Ew dude that's gross!" I chuckled, and i heard him laugh into the fabric of my shirt.
"Sorry Franks." He groggled, and brought his head back up to stare at me. "But the good thing is, straight after i met someone.."
"That quickly? Is that what gay relationships are like. Shees, you need to give me some lessons on it."
"We were always close friends, and i guess we always knew we had something for eachother. So he confessed, and now.."
"Now what?" I questioned his hand on my arm, shaking.
"Frank im moving to San Diego."
"Y-you w-w-what?" My stomach did backflips all of a sudden. He was going? I would have no one now. No one.
"I'm moving in with him seeing as San Diego is way better than this shithole town we live in." He joked, but i gripped the fabric on the front of his jacket firmly.
"You can't leave!"
"Listen Frankie we can still keep in contact right? You've got my number, and we can skype."
"You'll never want to see me again when your gone Ray. Your the only friend i have."
"You have Gerard silly. Plus your getting two lessons with him instead of one from now on. Isn't that great?"
"How?" I usually only had one i thought.
"I talked to your parents about my situation, so now you have two every week. Gerard said he would be plenty happy with teaching a talented man like you. I think you've got a keeper Franks'." He nudged my arm slightly.
"Keeper? Wha- h-he doesn't like me!"
"No he doesn't your right. Especially because of the way he talked about you to your parents last night!" He winked at me and giggled. The sarcasm was clear, however, i couldn't understand what kind of things he had to say about me. I had to know.
"I need to go buddy. I promise i'll see you soon." He pulled me into a huge bear hug and pulled out teary and smiling.
"Bye fro!" We both laughed before my bedroom door finally closed shut, and i blinked. He was gone, and the realisation had only just darkened over me. Now i needed to find a new friend, if i was going to make it through this whole 'struggling' faze. I picked up my guitar, and began to practice for tonights lessons.
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GERARDS POV:
I sat at the paper-ridden desk, my teeth chewing on my lip harshly. Frank was arriving at 6:00pm for lessons tonight. 10 minutes. It was dark outside, even though it wasn't the evening, and i felt the breeze of air make my hair stand on its edges. I began to organize the room in a hurry. It was the third time me and Frank would have met and i believe we were getting closer and closer to getting to know everything about eachother. He was a lost young soul, and i knew from his smile he was hiding things. But i keep reminding myself to not make it obvious i care, just keep talking to him like a friend. Or just a teacher. That was the point, and still after the park scenario, and his warm arms wrapped around me, i still felt he didn't understand me. I shivered and dropped some papers as i yet again thought about the warmth of his fingers caressing the skin on my arms, and his chubby cheeks pressed against the harsh bone of my neck. It felt so nice, and good when that feeling ran over me. Someone caring and reaching out to me...and him.
"Oh Frank.." I groaned to myself, wanting him to be here and near me again. I inwardly sighed however, predicting i would never share such a close friendship with him. But im going to try and get to know him better.
"Mr.Way." I turned around and saw Frank standing there, a cute cream guitar in his hands. He was smiling, the thin pink flesh stretching upwards, and branding an adorable brown fleece from the expected cold weather.
"Frank, have a seat young man." I smiled and sat in front of him staring at the guitar he began to strum on lightly.
"This is Pansy sir. She's kind of a close friend, and i named her after a nickname i was given."
"Well nice to meet you Pansy, im sure we'll be good friends." I joked reading the intricate lettering curving around the guitar.
"We're already friends so your welcome to her company."
"Friends?" I probably came across startled from the look on my face.
"Of course, after everything you told me at the park. We kind of formed a bond i thought."
"Yeah yeah, i know. So i'll always call you Frank?"
"And i'll call you Gerard?"
"Sure!"
"Want my number then?" He smiled baring all of his teeth, and held out a little slip with his number messily scratched onto it. I took it happily and brought my phone out, typing it up.
"First contact on my phone, how sad am i?" I stared at the empty folder of contacts lying on my phone screen.
"Really?"
"Apart from my brother, and the rest of the band members...yeah."
"Im not suprised, your like the grinch" He mocked and nudged my shoulder lightly scooting nearer to me on his chair.
"I hate you Frankie." I laughed, trying out the new nickname as it slid off my tongue.
"You too Gee, you too!" He kicked my leg slightly, and i winced kicking back. We remained there for a bit, in a fit of giggles and play fighting until i fell of the chair. With the harsh impact of me toppling off the furniture, he too fell and landed on top of me with a ThUmP. I gazed at him, feeling the soft flesh of his hands struggling on my thighs as he attempted to get up, and the sweaty denim off our jeans slapping together. As we both gazed at eachother we fell into a echo of giggles. My face fuzzed with a red glow, and i became breathless from the laughter and the proximity of Frank on top of me.
"Sorry about this." He said breathily, as he rolled off of me and i choked at the loss of weight and being able to gain my composture. We both sat up and lent against the chair. From the corner of my eye Frank's chest was thumping up and down and his face was a peachy pink. Probably from the impact of the fall..not me.
"Right then Frank. You came here for lessons?" I stood up and walked over to Pansy.
"Yeah, sorry. I believe im actually becoming social, you should embrace that." We both chuckled and continued with the lessons, which sadly ended quickly. As they say, time flies by when your having fun!
FRANK'S POV:
"Bye Gerard, until tommorow!" I waved goodbye to my teacher, and now trusty friend.
"Have a nice night Franks." He waved back catching my gaze before returning it to the screen on his phone.
I walked out of the old building and paced quickly back home. The lessons had been great, and there had actually been a moment of tranquility we shared that had left me completely flustered. Gerard was a perfect human being, and withought pretending to lie, my affections for him were growing stronger by the second. I couldn't say i loved him, but i always believed from the moment i saw him look up at me for the first time, sparks glinted slightly. I never understood what it would mean for me, or for my future, but now i had a rock. And it certainly wasn't dissapearing anytime soon.
I stepped up into the living room of my shabby rented house and stared across at the scenery. Some of the furniture and items in my house were vanished, and it smelt particularly familiar to my parents scent.
"Mum..dad. I know your there!" I yelled. From such a lovely moment in the day to this. Was this always going to be my consequence. If i have a really good moment, it has to be repayed with a sudden depressing event. This was it.
The phone began ringing and i jumped to it, running to the tabletop in the kitchen and answering it.
"Hello, Frank here." I murmered leaning against the cold marble.
"Frank it's your mum." I gulped silently, thinking about all the scenarios this call could lead to.
"Oh hi ma. What's wrong with my house, have you been here?"
"Actually Frank honey, your moving out."
"what...your joking right?" The pace of my heart quickened. She couldn't do this, and most definetely...why?
"Your grandfathers really ill honey, and we couldn't think of another way to pay for his operation."
"He's ill? WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME!" I was screaming down the phone right now. Whatever scenario, my parents would always be the one to tell me about this, and after as soon as it happened. Why were they being so cold?
"Were sure you can cope on your own, so we've left some money for you to get the nearest hotel for the night, and your auntie will take you to hers in the morning." She chimed down the phone, and i almost wanted to ask why she was so happy about this. Grandad was going to be ok, but still, neglecting your own son. I knew something like this would happen, especially like it did to Gerard when his mum left him withought even saying goodbye, or sorry. Poor Gerard....and poor me.
"I don't want to sleep in a fucking hotel, i want to sleep in my own bed, and most certainly not with that bitch you call my auntie!" I thought back to my childhood where i lived with my auntie the few years whilst my my dad was working abroad and my mum was probably having an affair with another man. They always appeared nice, but all they cared about was using me as a doll and wanting me to be famous so they could snatch all the money from me. And that goes for my auntie to, whom instead of giving me pocket money, would steal the pay checks i earnt from my work and then beat me if i argued once. I was not going to the hotel, or my auntie's. I would rather live on the streets for a lifetime then risk the torture and rejection of what my parents wanted.
"Don't you dare use that language you little rat. If you don't want to go to the hotel then you can live on the streets like the tramp you are!" She spat down the phone, and hissed with every letter she pronounced. When my mum was angry, it was very obvious, and she knew how to put someone in line with her harsh words. "Or sleep with your little singing teacher, im sure you'd like that."
"I will! I love him more than i could ever love you." I screamed and choked on the tears that flooded onto the counter top. My vision was blurred with tears, and i could hardly speak with the emptiness i felt.
"Fuck him while your at it before i get the chance to kill him off!" She yelled so loudly it felt like my ears were bleeding, as i fell to my knees and sobbed quietly.
"Dont kill him p-please d-d-dont!" I whined before i heard a snigger of laughter and the line cutting dead. I dropped the phone from my hands and sat there on the dirty floor. Where was i to go now? This wasn't my home, and she had clearly stated that herself. I heaved myself up and lent against the counter. I didn't have any credit so i couldn't call Gerard, so i decided i would sleep outside the building where my lessons are taught. Until Gerard my prince rescues me and i beg him to take me in. I didn't want to take sympathy for myself, but right now i did want to be by him. With his arms cradling me and his soft Jersey accent whispering in my ear. He would sing me to sleep instead of me crying myself to slumber.
"Oh Gerard." I groaned to myself, wanting him to be here and near me again. Right now i had to face the fact that i was homeless, and indeed a absolute failure with this downward spiral, which was now spiralling at a incredibly quick rate.
And then i got up and walked, as far as my weak knees would take me...
A/N* Sorry if your finding this all very sad. It will all be over in a couple of chapters dont worry :)

Notes

Things will get less depressing soon i promise. Just needed to clear some things up. <3
*Updating Tonight!*