Love Is Insanity

I was still facing the wall, and staring at the ground, holding back the tears. I had just gone with it back there, and completely flirted with him, and he did too. I just think i made a move to far with that stupid come up of mine. The strange thing was, he was leading me on to with it, and i thought he might of liked the idea of my lips on his. My face became more red than it should of been in this situation, and i attempted to wipe it away. Did he know i went in this room? I sure didn't want him to follow in after me, what was i meant to do then? I started humming a bit whilst tapping my feet, keeping my cool if he entered, and trying not to stammer on my words if we talked.
"Hey.." I heard a New jersey accent mutter, and the door closing. I looked out of the corner of my eye, watching Gerard sit on one of the large amps far away from me, and picking up a guitar. I didn't reply to his response, and continued to glare at the wall in embarassement. He had his head down to, and was looking at the strings of the guitar in deep thought. His now slightly long brown hair, swept down over his eyes and curled over his long eyelashes. It was hard not bite back the squealing i felt like letting out, and the curling of my toes. His now glassy brown eyes, were scanning the plectrum he used to strum on the guitar. He let a tear slip as he began to play, and the room filled with bliss.
I recognised the tune immediately, and felt the need to sing along too. This was 'Bullet With Butterfly Wings.' The first song i ever sang to him, and the song which he sang back to. He had obviously liked the fact that i played guitar, and was trying to impress me by playing it too. He messed up some of the chords on the way, but the tune was honestly something beautiful to listen to, and his voice. His sweet singing gave me chills, because of how talented he was with it. Every line made me more eager to talk to him, and by the time the song ended, i was leaning against the wall staring at him.
His hands left the strings, and he looked over at me, giving me a sweet look. His hands rubbed together, and hair swung to the side, as he began to talk.
"Can you teach me?" His voice was so innocent and soft, that i couldn't help but walk over and help him. It was quite the coincedence that straight after the kiss, i had to position myself behind him. I sat behind him on the large amp, pushing myself closer to him, and feeling the warmth of fabric on my clothed sweaty chest. My hands wrapped around his chest, and chin rested on his shaking shoulder. I rested my hands over his to place them on the right strings, and felt a shudder of warmth run through me, as my palm rested on his smooth hands. He groaned as i pushed myself against him, to work the strings to life.
"Ok so the first chord i work with is an E Minor. So...you're gonna want to put your finegrs here." I touched the tips of his bitten nails, and picked them up, to place them on the correct chords.
"Thanks." His voice was reduced to a whisper, and i could guess why. The atmosphere of the room was feeling heated, and the more i shook, the more the reaction would trigger him too.
"So here we are, and you just strum gently across." I continued to teach him the rest of the four chords that made up a little song im sure he'd enjoy playing. I enjoyed every moment, of us near eachother, and im sure he felt the ambition in my actions aswell. He began to strum again using all the chords, and i tipped my head back slightly in joy. He was a quick learner, and i was liking how easy he was to teach. When he'd finished the tune, i had slid back slightly on the amps to give him a clap and cheer of applause. He didn't respond, and just lowered his head slightly, his head turnt the slightest inch so you could see the hint of pink on his right cheek.
"Frankie.." He dropped the guitar, in what could be considered a harsh manner, and turned around to look at me. His eyes were full of lust, as he bit down on his lip, and let his teeth chew on it slightly. I gulped down, as our faces became closer. Before i knew it, our lips had collided, and he was kissing me passionately. I began to move my lips on his too, feeling the strange sensation of his hands closed around my waist, and pulling me firmly against him. The blood was rushing around my body as our lips continued to mold together, and my arms started to play on the flicked strands of hair on the nape of his neck. After a short period of time, he pulled back, his hands still strong on my hips. He was looking at me, his pupils large and dark. I could still feel his the taste and touch of his lips resting on mine after we stopped, and it felt great. The pure plump and softness of the flesh of his lips rubbing against mine, and teasing around my jaw.
"Im sorry for earlier.." I said, and his eyebrows softened down a bit.
"For what?"
"For kissing you so suddenly." I felt him closer now to me, and the heat pounded away on my face.
"Well then, im sorry for this." And with that, our lips met once again. The kiss was more harsh now, and full of want. His hands were stroking my hip, and pulling my body harder against his. His lips moved to the skin of my jaw, and he kissed down right to my neck, sucking and licking for my soft spot. I moaned out more loudly then i should of, and jumped up onto his lap when he was completely turned. I started to grind down on him, and i felt his hips buck up at mine. I could feel my jeans growing tighter, and forming a tent from the pleasure i was experiencing. I had never felt better in my whole life, and i didn't want him to stop. His lips moved back up to mine, and i felt my tongue reach into his mouth, the both of ours sliding against eachother. His hand was still on my hips but higher, and rubbing under my shirt, at my naked chest. He moaned out in want, and before anything else escalated, pulled back to stare at me.
"W-wow! T-that was hot." He said breathlessly, his manner more bold and flirtatious then it had ever been before. I had seen him in all different moods, but never this. The want in his eyes when i had apoligised, and the way he had pulled me close to him like he never wanted to let go. He had made me feel like i was loved for once, and i had always wanted that. I never knew he would feel that way about me, and now i knew he did, i couldn't help but laugh and smile to myself like an idiot.
"Y-yeah, why the sudden reaction?" I asked, pulling of his lap and moving over to the sofa, with him sitting next to me. I lent my head on his shoulder, as he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling my short frame closer to his side. I giggled as he nuzzled his face into the long strands of my hair, and blew on it slightly.
"Well, i had figured you wanted it, plus i couldn't wait any longer."
"You've loved me for how long?" I looked up at him, questioning so bravely.
"Well, i think since the day i met you, but i only truly knew when i saw you in the hospital that day. I mean it broke my heart, and i felt that feeling i had always felt for you." I blushed slightly, and my eyes widened. I never knew he had loved me for so long, and it made me so happy. I wasn't concerned now about why he hadn't told me, because it was just as hard for me to tell him myself. "What about you sugar?" He used the nickname ever so casually, as he let the words drop of his tongue.
"Well, probably since the day i met you too. But just like you, i only truly knew after we had come out of the forest.." He glared at me sharply, concern filled with his eyes.
"That was why you got hit?" I nodded back at him shyly. "Frankie! Why the hell didn't you say that after, i mean i wouldn't of cared."
"I was nervous, it's not easy to admit things like that, plus i didn't think you'd be that concered." He stroked my side, and tilted my chin up to kiss me gently, warmth pulsing through me.
"Honey, i always have the time to be concered with you. I mean, after all, i do care for you." He touched my hands, and i melted in his touch. It was so cheesy, yet so loveable. I loved this feeling of my heart on adrenaline, and my hands tingling constantly.
"Thanks Gee." I pecked his lips again, having to reach right up to meet him. "I like these nicknames, you should use them more often."
"Sure sugar." He threw in, a smirk wide on his face. "I think the fact is i've always been scared to admit anything to anyone, or to let people in. So with you i knew i shouldn't feel nervous, and i'm glad i did it. You've always been so caring towards me, and i should of noticed straight away, before those true feelings really did kick in." I thought back to his expression on the first day we met. He never did smile when our eyes met, but his glare was never cold towards me. Also, when i left, he was more than affectionate to say goodbye and wish me well. I was oblivious of his care, and the warmth he made me feel.
"I'll never forgive you!" I chuckled, tossing a cushion from the couch at him. He retaliated back, and threw it back at me. We continued to chuck them at eachother, and soon the play fighting turned into tickling. He had me pinned down with his hands, and was making me go bazark with his hands crawling around my body.
"H-he, h-ha stop! Y-your making m-my sides ache." I giggled. He pulled back, and grinned, pulling me up with him, and making my body buzz again.
"Are we supposed to kiss now like Ray and Mikey did?" I looked down at my lap, but he pulled my head up by my chin, and caressed my cheek slightly.
"If you want." I didn't answer, and just tugged on his shoulder, letting him close the gap between us. The iss was short and sweet, but meant so much for me. It meant the leaps and bounds i had always wanted to take in my life, and it meant the world for me to get out of my shit past and enjoy this present. My lips rubbed on his, and i peppered sweet kisses on his jaw before moving back.
"Even that can make me breathless!" He said breathily, and pulled me into his side. I was more than tired now, and i was sure he was too. I think i needed to rest now, and with him by my side, i was more than happy too. I felt so warm with my body flushed in pleasure and heat, and my lips chapped but soft from kissing Gerard. The boy i had loved from the day i had met had finally admitted his affections for me, and i had to. I couldn't of felt better resting my head against his to fall asleep. My feet would curl inwards, and my eyes would close gently, into a wonderful slumber.
"Night Frankie." He whispered into my ear.
"Night Gee." I replied. I didn't care where we were, or that we weren't back at Mikey's. Right now, i was not moving for anyone, because right here i had everything i wanted. Including Gerard.

Notes