A Thunderstorm Into A Rainbow
Chapter Two - A Night Alone
I kept going over the day in my head. What was happening to my life? I looked at the clock on the dashboard of my car; 11:14. I was late and Jamia would probably be asleep, and Cherri, Lily and Miles would be in bed. If I went back now the dogs would be sure to bark and wake them all up. I sighed. Looks like i'll have to go to my apartment... It'll take an extra 15 minutes but oh well, it gives me time to think and process today's events...
Gerard. That's all that was going through my mind. He has always been my best friend, on tour we would always take quite walks together. We never needed to talk, we just enjoyed each others company and the rare silence we got while on tour. I always felt comfortable around him, and I felt like that around no one else, not even Jamia. He could make me laugh so easy, and his laugh... I loved it, it always left me feeling warm. I always wondered if them moments on stage meant as much to him as they did to me, or if he just did it because of the reactions from the fans. It was probably latter. He could never feel the same. He was happy with Lyn-Z and he had Bandit, why would he let go of all that for me? I mean, it's not that I'm not happy with Jamia and my 3 little angels, but there was just... Something about Gerard no one else could give me. But no, I can't think of that, because I need to focus on my future now, and however much I want Gerard to be a part of that, I'm sure he had a different plan for his.
***
I was at my apartment before I knew it, and I pulled the keys out and put them in the locked. It was hard to open but then I thought that I haven't been here in a while. I let myself into the small but cosy apartment. I'd brought it when Jamia had decided I needed somewhere to just relax with the boys now we had the kids around so she had brought me it for a birthday present and had put all my video games and guitars there without me noticing. I threw my keys on the table by the door before pulling out my phone and chucking myself on the seat. I open a message to Jamia and wrote:
Staying at the apartment tonight. Didn't want to wake you and the kids. Be home tomorrow morning
xofrnk
I then pressed send and through the phone onto the chair on the opposite side of the room and picked up the tv remote. I flicked through and decided to settle with old reruns of Spider-Man that I watched as a kid. I got up to see what was in the fridge. The were 4 six packs of beer from the last time we had guys night so I pulled one pack out and opened the first one. It hissed and I took three large gulps. I felt the cool liquid trickle down my throat and felt instantly refreshed. I finish that can in 4 more mouthfuls and helped myself to another before settling back down. I'd already had 5 beers at the BBQ but decided it wouldn't hurt to have a few more. I looked at the clock; 11:49. I decided that I should do something more entertaining. I got up to look through my video games. I was flicking through when I stumbled across something unexpected. I felt my eyes fill with tears. It was the first photo I ever had taken with Gerard. It was in the recording studio at Eyeball and he had his arm round my shoulder. His hair was black back then, unlike the red it was now. He was wearing his old misfits T that I swear he had had since he was like 15. It fitted him perfectly and just showed the shape of his torso through it. I turned my attention to his face. He had eyeliner smudged under one eye and I remember its because Ray had made him laugh and his eyes watered and when he wiped them he left a black line over his face, causing me to laugh more. His eyes seemed happy then, but little did any of us know he would soon become addicted to pills and booze and finally, cocain, causing him to become suicidal. I felt a warm tear glide slowly down my face. Then there was me, shaggy black hair that hung over one eye, it was the day after I got my scorpion tattoo so my neck seemed a little red. I was a few inches shorter than Gerard and I was smiling so my eyes crinkled up. I had a my "Homophobia is Gay" T on. I smiled coz I can remember that's the first time I had warn it. I had worn it and got a lot of questions, especially from Gerard, asking if I actually WAS gay, but even though I knew I probably was (maybe bi) I said no. On my hands were my skeleton gloves. I used to love them. I placed the picture aside as I started to cry. I knew what the sleeves of my cardigan were hiding in that picture. I pulled up the sleeves of the jumper I'm wearing and I can see the faint white scars that littered my arm. I knew I shouldn't start again, but I could feel the urge there. I knew if I spent the whole night here alone there was no way I could stop.
I look at the clock again; 12:22. I needed to ring someone. Someone needed to be here I could trust. Someone who was all was there for me. I know who to call.
***
When Gerard answered the phone I knew he had been asleep or close to as he sounded groggy, "ello, Frank, why are you calling so late?"
I froze. I couldn't tell him the truth. What would he think? "I couldn't go home tonight coz I didn't want to wake Jamia up so I came to the apartment, and I, err, wondered if you wanted to come over and stop the night?" I couldn't help but slur and I new he could tell I'd had a bit to much to drink.
"I can't really, what will Lyn-Z say when she wakes up and I'm gone? I've just got back." He sounded tired and I considered hanging up, but I forced my self to speak, un able to keep the pleading tone out of my voice, "Please, Gee, o don't want to be on my own. Not tonight. Please. Your the only one who understands me", there was silence on the end of the line and I thought he had hung up, but then I noticed a shuffling sound and I knew it was Gerard getting his clothes on. "Alright Frankie, you talked me into it, I'm on my way", and I could hear a hint of mischief in his voice.
***
I took Gerard about 25 minutes to get to my apartment and when I heard his tires squeal outside I bounded up to the door, ready to open it as soon as I heard him approach. He seemed shocked that I open the door so quickly, but smiled nevertheless and slipped in, shaking his jacket off as he went. He looked down at me, and I swear I could see something there I hadn't noticed before. I gestured to him to go sit on the sofa and then went to retrieve some beers from the fridge. I threw one to him and he caught it, smiling in appreciation clicking it open. I noticed it didn't last him long and before we knew it all the drinks were gone and we was both giggling, me resting my head on Gerard's shoulder. He smiled down and me before stroking my hair own of my face. I shivered at his touch. The thing he said next surprised me to say the least.
"Frankie, I-I... I love you Frankie", and before I knew what had happened he had flipped me over onto my back, and was was sat on top of me straddling my hips. The next thing I knew, he had bent down and started kissing me softly on the lips. After I got used to the shock I started to kiss him back, slowly at first, and then it became more passionate, more aggressive, and it was unlike anything we had ever done on stage. They were normally sweaty and forceful, but this. This was nice. I felt his tongue flick out across my lower lip and I opened my mouth and let him enter. He started to explore my mouth with his tongue and I decided to explore back. I let my tongue wonder forward into his mouth. I could taste the beer from earlier and a slight hit of cigarette. And before I knew it, it was over. I couldn't help but look up disappointed. He giggled down at me before he started to pull my top of. I willingly let him, and as he did I remembered the picture and back to when Gerard asked of I was gay. Yes, that was the answer and I always knew the reason I was gay was Gerard. I was attracted to him the moment I laid eyes on him. But I was suddenly forced back into the present as I felt Gerard's hands and mouth wondering aimlessly over my torso. Oh it felt so good. I couldn't help but let out a slight moan. He giggled and I opened my eyes to look at him, only to see him pulling his own shirt off and discarding it on the floor with my own. He then bent back down and started placing tinny kisses on my mouth, trying to distract me from is wondering hands, that were slowing making there way down to my jeans, which at the moment contained my semi hard erection. He slowly undid the zip and sneakily slide his hands down and into my pants. I shuddered as I felt him grip me, tight but tenderly. I let my head slip back onto the arm rest while Gerard moved his fingers up and down, teasingly, stroking me, knowing I wanted more. Before I had the change to ask he started to pump his hand up and down, increasing his speed quickly, and I knew I would come before to long. I opened my eyes to see Gerard staring down and me intently. I moaned his name, and he smiled cheekily. That's when I felt my orgasm coming, "Gee, I think- I'm gonna... In a minute", I panted and he just smiled and stroked my cheek and stared intently into my eyes as I came, long and hard all over his hand. He stroked me a few more times before withdrawing his hand and getting some tissue to clean us both up. I gazed up at him and he kissed me again. I gave it everything, wanted it to say would words couldn't, and he pulled away before stroking my cheek the snuggling up to me, putting his head in the crook of me neck. Before I knew it I was asleep, dreams filled with Gerard and his perfect smile and hair, looking down at me saying, "I love you Frankie".
Gerard. That's all that was going through my mind. He has always been my best friend, on tour we would always take quite walks together. We never needed to talk, we just enjoyed each others company and the rare silence we got while on tour. I always felt comfortable around him, and I felt like that around no one else, not even Jamia. He could make me laugh so easy, and his laugh... I loved it, it always left me feeling warm. I always wondered if them moments on stage meant as much to him as they did to me, or if he just did it because of the reactions from the fans. It was probably latter. He could never feel the same. He was happy with Lyn-Z and he had Bandit, why would he let go of all that for me? I mean, it's not that I'm not happy with Jamia and my 3 little angels, but there was just... Something about Gerard no one else could give me. But no, I can't think of that, because I need to focus on my future now, and however much I want Gerard to be a part of that, I'm sure he had a different plan for his.
***
I was at my apartment before I knew it, and I pulled the keys out and put them in the locked. It was hard to open but then I thought that I haven't been here in a while. I let myself into the small but cosy apartment. I'd brought it when Jamia had decided I needed somewhere to just relax with the boys now we had the kids around so she had brought me it for a birthday present and had put all my video games and guitars there without me noticing. I threw my keys on the table by the door before pulling out my phone and chucking myself on the seat. I open a message to Jamia and wrote:
Staying at the apartment tonight. Didn't want to wake you and the kids. Be home tomorrow morning
xofrnk
I then pressed send and through the phone onto the chair on the opposite side of the room and picked up the tv remote. I flicked through and decided to settle with old reruns of Spider-Man that I watched as a kid. I got up to see what was in the fridge. The were 4 six packs of beer from the last time we had guys night so I pulled one pack out and opened the first one. It hissed and I took three large gulps. I felt the cool liquid trickle down my throat and felt instantly refreshed. I finish that can in 4 more mouthfuls and helped myself to another before settling back down. I'd already had 5 beers at the BBQ but decided it wouldn't hurt to have a few more. I looked at the clock; 11:49. I decided that I should do something more entertaining. I got up to look through my video games. I was flicking through when I stumbled across something unexpected. I felt my eyes fill with tears. It was the first photo I ever had taken with Gerard. It was in the recording studio at Eyeball and he had his arm round my shoulder. His hair was black back then, unlike the red it was now. He was wearing his old misfits T that I swear he had had since he was like 15. It fitted him perfectly and just showed the shape of his torso through it. I turned my attention to his face. He had eyeliner smudged under one eye and I remember its because Ray had made him laugh and his eyes watered and when he wiped them he left a black line over his face, causing me to laugh more. His eyes seemed happy then, but little did any of us know he would soon become addicted to pills and booze and finally, cocain, causing him to become suicidal. I felt a warm tear glide slowly down my face. Then there was me, shaggy black hair that hung over one eye, it was the day after I got my scorpion tattoo so my neck seemed a little red. I was a few inches shorter than Gerard and I was smiling so my eyes crinkled up. I had a my "Homophobia is Gay" T on. I smiled coz I can remember that's the first time I had warn it. I had worn it and got a lot of questions, especially from Gerard, asking if I actually WAS gay, but even though I knew I probably was (maybe bi) I said no. On my hands were my skeleton gloves. I used to love them. I placed the picture aside as I started to cry. I knew what the sleeves of my cardigan were hiding in that picture. I pulled up the sleeves of the jumper I'm wearing and I can see the faint white scars that littered my arm. I knew I shouldn't start again, but I could feel the urge there. I knew if I spent the whole night here alone there was no way I could stop.
I look at the clock again; 12:22. I needed to ring someone. Someone needed to be here I could trust. Someone who was all was there for me. I know who to call.
***
When Gerard answered the phone I knew he had been asleep or close to as he sounded groggy, "ello, Frank, why are you calling so late?"
I froze. I couldn't tell him the truth. What would he think? "I couldn't go home tonight coz I didn't want to wake Jamia up so I came to the apartment, and I, err, wondered if you wanted to come over and stop the night?" I couldn't help but slur and I new he could tell I'd had a bit to much to drink.
"I can't really, what will Lyn-Z say when she wakes up and I'm gone? I've just got back." He sounded tired and I considered hanging up, but I forced my self to speak, un able to keep the pleading tone out of my voice, "Please, Gee, o don't want to be on my own. Not tonight. Please. Your the only one who understands me", there was silence on the end of the line and I thought he had hung up, but then I noticed a shuffling sound and I knew it was Gerard getting his clothes on. "Alright Frankie, you talked me into it, I'm on my way", and I could hear a hint of mischief in his voice.
***
I took Gerard about 25 minutes to get to my apartment and when I heard his tires squeal outside I bounded up to the door, ready to open it as soon as I heard him approach. He seemed shocked that I open the door so quickly, but smiled nevertheless and slipped in, shaking his jacket off as he went. He looked down at me, and I swear I could see something there I hadn't noticed before. I gestured to him to go sit on the sofa and then went to retrieve some beers from the fridge. I threw one to him and he caught it, smiling in appreciation clicking it open. I noticed it didn't last him long and before we knew it all the drinks were gone and we was both giggling, me resting my head on Gerard's shoulder. He smiled down and me before stroking my hair own of my face. I shivered at his touch. The thing he said next surprised me to say the least.
"Frankie, I-I... I love you Frankie", and before I knew what had happened he had flipped me over onto my back, and was was sat on top of me straddling my hips. The next thing I knew, he had bent down and started kissing me softly on the lips. After I got used to the shock I started to kiss him back, slowly at first, and then it became more passionate, more aggressive, and it was unlike anything we had ever done on stage. They were normally sweaty and forceful, but this. This was nice. I felt his tongue flick out across my lower lip and I opened my mouth and let him enter. He started to explore my mouth with his tongue and I decided to explore back. I let my tongue wonder forward into his mouth. I could taste the beer from earlier and a slight hit of cigarette. And before I knew it, it was over. I couldn't help but look up disappointed. He giggled down at me before he started to pull my top of. I willingly let him, and as he did I remembered the picture and back to when Gerard asked of I was gay. Yes, that was the answer and I always knew the reason I was gay was Gerard. I was attracted to him the moment I laid eyes on him. But I was suddenly forced back into the present as I felt Gerard's hands and mouth wondering aimlessly over my torso. Oh it felt so good. I couldn't help but let out a slight moan. He giggled and I opened my eyes to look at him, only to see him pulling his own shirt off and discarding it on the floor with my own. He then bent back down and started placing tinny kisses on my mouth, trying to distract me from is wondering hands, that were slowing making there way down to my jeans, which at the moment contained my semi hard erection. He slowly undid the zip and sneakily slide his hands down and into my pants. I shuddered as I felt him grip me, tight but tenderly. I let my head slip back onto the arm rest while Gerard moved his fingers up and down, teasingly, stroking me, knowing I wanted more. Before I had the change to ask he started to pump his hand up and down, increasing his speed quickly, and I knew I would come before to long. I opened my eyes to see Gerard staring down and me intently. I moaned his name, and he smiled cheekily. That's when I felt my orgasm coming, "Gee, I think- I'm gonna... In a minute", I panted and he just smiled and stroked my cheek and stared intently into my eyes as I came, long and hard all over his hand. He stroked me a few more times before withdrawing his hand and getting some tissue to clean us both up. I gazed up at him and he kissed me again. I gave it everything, wanted it to say would words couldn't, and he pulled away before stroking my cheek the snuggling up to me, putting his head in the crook of me neck. Before I knew it I was asleep, dreams filled with Gerard and his perfect smile and hair, looking down at me saying, "I love you Frankie".
Notes
Sorry it took so long to update. I wanted to make sure it was perfect!! Hope you enjoyall from Frankies POV
Is this EVER going to update?? X
5/22/14