Amnesia
Turn Down the Lights
The cars blurred in my vision, speeding past my walking figure; going nowhere fast while I was heading toward God knows what at an agonizingly slow pace.
I think it was Thursday. The day after I left Frank in the bathroom. The day after I had ran out of school for the umpteenth time.
And for what? Why did I have to run? Why did I have to leave Frank?
Why did I have to try and comfort Frank? Why couldn't I have left him alone? I could have gone to school today if I had just minded my own goddamn business - if I had just kept my distance. If I had just kept hating him. If I had just remained numb.
Day faded into Night.
Night is a beautiful thing, if you think about it. It has the profound power to hide all of the bad things; one can simply slink through the blackened world without fear that the garish sun will expose his imperfection.
Somehow I had ended up lying in my bed with my legs tucked up under my chin. I don't know when a sobering cement sidewalk had translated into warming cotton sheets and tears that threatened to chaff my ripped t-shirt, but it had.
And that's what I was left with - a pair of black sweatpants that dated back to the eighth grade, a ragged Joy Division shirt and a thousand tears pooling behind my eyelids that seemed to have been sewn shut.
I longed for that bad-boy numbness to return to me. I wanted for everything to revert back to how it had been the day before school started, because everything was fine a week ago. I didn't feel anything and no one could have changed that if they tried.
Something had clicked inside me when I punched Frank - something had definitely changed when I heard a soft whimper escape from deep within his throat.
Well, it took me long enough.
I think it was Thursday. The day after I left Frank in the bathroom. The day after I had ran out of school for the umpteenth time.
And for what? Why did I have to run? Why did I have to leave Frank?
Why did I have to try and comfort Frank? Why couldn't I have left him alone? I could have gone to school today if I had just minded my own goddamn business - if I had just kept my distance. If I had just kept hating him. If I had just remained numb.
Day faded into Night.
Night is a beautiful thing, if you think about it. It has the profound power to hide all of the bad things; one can simply slink through the blackened world without fear that the garish sun will expose his imperfection.
Somehow I had ended up lying in my bed with my legs tucked up under my chin. I don't know when a sobering cement sidewalk had translated into warming cotton sheets and tears that threatened to chaff my ripped t-shirt, but it had.
And that's what I was left with - a pair of black sweatpants that dated back to the eighth grade, a ragged Joy Division shirt and a thousand tears pooling behind my eyelids that seemed to have been sewn shut.
I longed for that bad-boy numbness to return to me. I wanted for everything to revert back to how it had been the day before school started, because everything was fine a week ago. I didn't feel anything and no one could have changed that if they tried.
Something had clicked inside me when I punched Frank - something had definitely changed when I heard a soft whimper escape from deep within his throat.
Well, it took me long enough.
Notes
Chapter Title - I Can't Make You Love Me unoriginally by Bon IverHey, this chapter is meant to be short. Uhm, so, if you couldn't tell, i have this issue with character development. If you guys have any suggestions or helpful tips for me, that would be awesome. because right now I feel like my characters are jumbled and confusing. and i just.. poop.
Uhm. i forgot what else I wanted to tell you.
xoBunny.
More more more more, please. Oh my goodness, my heart is about to explode from all of this. The chapter was amazing <3
8/31/14