Gerard’s POV

I wake up first. Frankie is curled up in a ball, one arm wrapped around me and a fist clenching my wrinkled tee shirt. I smile at his expression, a tiny frown on his lips. The way the very early morning light is hitting his face makes him seem ethereal, his pale skin luminescent and his midnight black hair shining. I shut my eyes, content to just be here with him but I can’t stop the thoughts flooding through my mind.

What are my parents going to do when they realise I'm not at home? Will they come looking for me? They don’t know where Frankie lives, but still. They'd find out. They'd find us. They'd find him. And I can't let that happen to Frank.

I shift underneath Frank, trying to fish my phone from my pocket to check the time. I delete the previous texts from my phone without looking at them, and then note that it is six thirty. I sigh. I wish it hadn’t come to this, but if I want any chance of seeing him again, I’ll have to leave Frankie. I gently slip from his grasp and tuck the sheets around him. He stirs a little, which makes me hold my breath, but soon enough he continues softly snoring.

I rip a piece of paper from a notebook Frank keeps on the side table, and scrawl a little note.

Frankie.
I hate to do this, but I need to get home before my parents realise I'm gone. Otherwise I know I’ll never be allowed out of the house, which means I couldn't visit you. Even if it's sneaky like this! You're too precious to me to risk losing.
Sorry,
Gee xx

I give Frankie a light kiss on his cheekbone, and then slip out of his room, down the stairs and onto the street. Anxiety welling in my chest makes me run, almost sprinting home. I ignore the colours of the sunrise, so alike to the ones that Frankie and I had viewed just a few short days ago. I also ignore the aching pains from my beating yesterday.

By the time I get home my heart is thumping double time. I go around the back of my house to where my room is. I thank the gods that my room is in the basement, and slip through the tiny window. I have to wriggle through the frame; it’s been a while since I snuck out last.
I try to land lightly on the floor, but fail and tumble with a thud. I wince at the noise, hoping nobody noticed my absence or my arrival. There is no sound; no ceiling-shaking footsteps coming for me. I breathe a sigh of relief. I know Mum won’t be up until seven, and that Dad will check on me at about that time too as that’s when he leaves for work.

I walk into my bathroom and turn the shower on. I undress while the water heats, tossing my clothes onto the cool black tile. I don’t make eye contact with myself in the mirror, instead stepping into the scalding spray immediately. I gasp as the hot water seeps into a cut I didn't know I had, and at the same instant notice the bruises blossoming across my stomach and chest. It’s a catastrophe of colours, splotchy yellows, greens and purples swirling together over my front. There is also a hand mark encompassing my arm.

Quickly, I finish my shower and get dressed again. Dad raps his knuckles on my bedroom door harshly.
“Hurry up, you useless faggot!” he shouts brutally before storming off. My throat begins to close up but I swallow and open my door.

I run up the steps so I seem like I am at least trying to meet my Dad’s standards. He is waiting at the table for me, hands clasped in front of him. This should be fun.

Dad glares at me, then clears his throat to begin to speak. “Right. I’m going to cut to the chase here, Gerard, because you and I both know that you aren’t stupid. However, what you are doing is stupid and not to mention bringing shame to us all. There will be someone watching you at school, so don’t get it into your sick little mind that you could see that boy. I will make sure of it that you never interact with him again. And you have a therapy session after school today; your mother will pick you up from the school gates as soon as it finishes. Now hurry up and get to school.”

Instead of answering, I just nod solemnly. He takes this as pleasant agreement, when really I'm resigning begrudgingly to his authority. Dad stands from the table, the chair scraping across the floor. I wince at the noise; it’s similar to nails on a chalkboard.
“Oh, you will now call your mother and me by our proper names as well, until you can realise what you have done, change, and apologise.” He gives me a final glare, and then leaves me alone. It's mother and I, you under-educated bigot, I sneer at his retreating back. I quickly make coffee and pour it into a travel mug, not wanting to be late. Mum – I mean Donna – meets me just as I am walking through the door.

“I am driving you to school from now on,” she says firmly. Her expression is stone cold. I don’t protest and once again I simply resign to my fate.
“Get your bag and wait in the car for me.”

I do as I’m told, obediently sliding into the back seat of the car with my bag and coffee in hand. Mikey is sitting in the front seat, head down.
“You alright, Mikes?” I ask weakly. He turns to me. I get a glimpse of a large bruise and a cut on his forehead before he turns the other way again. I furrow my brow, upset at the thought that I probably caused those injuries.
“Yeah, I guess so. Just worried about you is all. Are you alright?”
“I’m okay.” Our conversation jars there, uncomfortable silence shrouding us.

Donna flings open the car door and settles in her seat. Her back is straight and ridged, she is clearly uncomfortable. We pull out of the driveway; I am slumped in the back with a sour expression on my face. Every little road bump sends a shock wave of pain through my body and making me grimace. Judging by the bruises I inspected this morning, I am going to be sore for a couple more days yet. Donna drives faster than usual, her knuckles white from gripping the steering wheel. I guess its stressful work having a disappointment for an elder son rather than a role model.

“Thank you Mothe-, I mean Donna.” I correct myself and hop out of the car, slamming the door coldly. She doesn’t reply to me, but when she thinks I'm out of earshot she whispers “watch him,” to Mikey. I stalk off, ignoring the stares I get from students milling around the school gates.

Subconsciously my legs carry me to a far field, where I collapse to the ground. I fish a packet of cigarettes out of my bag and light up. Closing my eyes, I lift the cigarette to my lips. I take a long deep drag, inhaling the cancerous smoke eagerly. Then I blow the smoke from my lungs into the atmosphere, watching it curl and then slowly disappear into the air. I continue this pattern until the cigarette is finished and I am calm.

It’s about time for first period now, if I walk fast enough I could still make it to my class without being late. I jog across the grass and enter the high school. Time for another day in hell.

The entire day, I can’t escape the sensation of being watched. Which makes sense, because my father did say that he would send someone to observe me. When I try to sit next to Frankie in history, a large imposing man (I don't feel comfortable calling him a boy) eyeballs me, daring for me to continue with what I was going to do. All this hassle just so I can’t see my Frankie.

I get to lunch period and sit with my usual group of friends, feeling forlorn. I have close to no appetite, but I still force myself to eat at least half a dry sandwich from the canteen. The guy from history, who I swear is not a student, is sitting on a table adjacent from me and hasn’t stopped staring at me the whole time. Way to be subtle, dude. High-fucking-five.
I decide that that is what I am going to call him from now on, High-five. Purely because that would be sassy. It’s so fucking inside. I repress the urge to giggle at this; it’s like I'm congratulating him for his stupidity and lack of tack with the nickname. High-five is eating his lunch with renewed vigour, unaware of me almost losing it at my table less than six feet away.

“Gerard? You okay?” Ray asks me. I'm so lost in my own thoughts that I almost don’t register it. I let the vague smile that I wasn't aware was painting my face slowly drop.
“Hm? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Just tired, you know?” I laugh dryly at the end and he gives me a quizzical glance but turns away. Thank fuck I don’t have any bruises on my face, because I really don’t need the Spanish Inquisition on my ass right now.

Amidst the chatter of the people at my table, I hear my phone buzz. I glance over to my unofficial bodyguard, see he has finally looked away and pull out my phone. It’s thankfully a text from Frankie. I attempt not to smile again as I open it, because then it would look like there was something seriously wrong with me.

Frank: meet me in the bthrm now x

Out of the corner of my eye, I see him stand up and leave his lonely table of one. He walks across the cafeteria while I follow him with my eyes. I wait two agonizing minutes, and then tell my group where I'm going and pursue him. High-five looks up, sees that I am going in the direction of the bathroom and goes back to his tray. I wave sassily at his back with a mocking smile and then keep walking.

Frank is waiting for me, sitting on the edge of the sink and nervously twisting his fingers. Nobody else is in here so when I open the door, I rush over to him and pull his lips onto mine. He flinches at first, but then as soon as he realises it’s me he melts into the kiss, wrapping his arms around my neck and drawing me closer to him. I feel my cheeks growing steadily wet, but I know I'm not crying. It must be Frankie. I break our kiss quickly, and pull him into a hug.

“Hey, don’t cry baby! It’s all gonna be fine, shh. I’m here. Please don’t cry.”
He nuzzles his face into the crook of my neck, wetting my shirt with his tears.
“I don’t want to lose you!” he cries.
“Hey, hey! You’re not going to lose me, Frank Iero. We both need each other too much to be separated; this is just a little set back, okay?”
“Are you stupid? You don’t need me, Gerard! You’re amazing and friendly and perfect and everything I'm not. I'm just...No one n-needs me at all!” with that outburst, he pushes me away from him and runs to a cubicle. The lock clangs loudly as he shuts himself in there. His somewhat muffled sobs are still easily detectable, and my heart breaks knowing that I can’t comfort him. He doesn’t want me. I let a few tears of my own fall, before sitting down against his bolted door.
"I need you," I whisper. It's no use.

Everything is quiet for a few minutes, apart from Frankie’s sniffling and the occasionally strangled sob. In the quiet, I begin to softly sing.

We hold in our hearts, the sword and the faith
Swelled up from the rain, clouds move like a wraith
Well after all, we'll lie another day
And through it all, we'll find some other way
To carry on through cartilage and fluid
And did you come, to stare or wash away the blood?

Well tonight, well tonight
Will it ever come?
Spend the rest of your days rocking out
Just for the dead
Well tonight
Will it ever come?
I can see you awake anytime, in my head.

Did we all fall down?
Did we all fall down?
Did we all fall down?
Did we all fall down?
From the lights to the pavement
From the van to the floor
From backstage to the doctor
From the Earth to the morgue, morgue, morgue, morgue

Well tonight
Will it ever come?
Spend the rest of your days rocking out
Just for the dead
Well tonight
Will it ever come?
I can see you awake, anytime in my head

All fall down
Well after all...

When I open my eyes, which I hadn't realised I’d closed, Frank has unlocked the door and is sitting to face me on the ground, tears streaming down his cheeks. He rests his head on my shoulder heavily, letting out a shuddering sigh. I close my eyes again and breathe in Frank’s scent, a mingling of cigarettes and the shampoo he uses.

We stay like that for a while, just supporting and comforting each other on the floor. I couldn’t give less fucks as to the fact that I’ve obviously been gone from the cafeteria too long, and I try to ignore the terrifying reality that my parents’ intolerance may interfere with my love for Frankie. Instead, I just lean on him, my head on his and our fingers intertwined.

Notes

I am trying to get back into the swing of things, and I felt pretty bad for leaving it so here is a chapter ^-^ I am also feeling slightly better which is good.
Thank you so much for all your kind comments, they were so lovely aww

- Run Bunny x