The death of Frank Iero.

Gerard managed to swallow down the partially chewed popcorn stuck in his throat and gently shrugged Frank off his shoulder so he could look to him. Frank definitely wasn’t joking around with that question, not when his face held such a nervous yet hopeful expression. Gerard didn’t know what to say, and in his awkward silence Frank went on to speak more, the nervousness showing through in his speech.

“There’s so much I wanna do and stuff, but I have to wait ‘til I’m better. But I’ve been waiting about this because I’ve been so nervous, but I’m done wasting even more of my time. So, um yeah.. I really like you.. a lot.”

“Frank…” was all Gerard could muster up to say at the moment. He had to admit he felt his heart flutter at Frank’s admission, and he knew in that fluttering heart that he did like Frank like fucking crazy, but it always felt too weird or wrong to be having those feelings to ever act on them. It was really the fact that Gerard kept seeing Frank as that sixteen year old kid he first met. Not literally seeing him that way, but Frank acted the same and it was hard to shake that Frank wasn’t a child anymore. He viewed Frank as his little brother, and it just seemed wrong to have these change of feelings. “You’re just a kid still, and you really should wait until…” Gerard began gently, not really sure how he was going to explain his way out of this. He didn’t want to hurt Frank. Not ever.

“I’m not a kid,” Frank interjected before Gerard could say anymore. “I’m gonna be nineteen next week. You know I wasn’t just asleep in a hospital bed and woke up almost three years later with the same mindset I had before it all happened. I was in my old room all alone aware -whether I thought I was dead or not- that life was passing by without me. I had to grow up to be able to deal with it. I know I haven’t experienced a lot of things, and I act goofy and everything, but that’s just who I am. I’m not still a kid, Gerard, and don’t try to dodge my question by giving me a lecture. Just yes or no, and if it’s no, well.. we can just forget I ever said anything. Just being friends is okay.”

“No, it’s not okay,” Gerard sighed. “I do like you,” he admitted. “I mean, I love your personality Frank, and hell, when I first saw you in the hospital just.. grown up.. shit, you’re beautiful. I want to be closer, but it’s not that simple. I mean, you’re like my brother Frank, and it’s all wrong and messed up.”

“But I’m not your brother, you idiot. So there’s no problem. I like you. You like me. And you think I’m purdy,” Frank smiled wide, happy and extremely confident now that Gerard confessed his feelings. “You know, with how we met and everything that happened, it’s like you and me.. we’re supposed to be together. And as much as I hate sounding like a lovesick little girl, it’s like it’s fate. I just wanna be with you, and I’ll do what I have to, to make you stop thinking of me as a brother..” And with that Frank kissed him.

It was lips firmly pressed against lips, and Gerard had to close his eyes at the soft impact. The kiss was simple and innocent, but electrifying. Gerard was lost in it, and could only mimic Frank’s movements as Frank parted his lips ever so slightly and brought his tongue into play. That kiss became deep, and even as Frank shifted himself to straddled over Gerard’s lap -the bowl there previously falling to the floor and scattering popcorn all over the carpet- it still held a bit of innocence intermingled with the passion behind it. It was literally breathtaking, and Gerard sighed at the lost when Frank at last pulled away, both breathing a bit heavy.

“So that brother thought his dead now, right? Am I your boyfriend now?” Frank smiled, leaning in for a second to rub his nose playfully against Gerard’s.

“I think you sufficiently killed it,” Gerard smiled back, his hands held loosely at Frank’s hips. “But what about your mom, Frank. I don’t want-“

“She already knows I’m utterly crazy about you. And in fact she told me I should stop being such a wimp and tell you that I like you already,” Frank chuckled lightly.

Gerard had to laugh a little too. “So I guess then everything would be alright if we were together.”

“It would be perfect. So you’re mine now,” Frank grinned and brought his lips back to Gerard’s. It was more fervent kissing with Frank’s tentative roaming hands becoming bolder with each passing moment. And Gerard felt as those hands pushed under the hem of his shirt and rub up over his skin as Frank began to grind his hips down against his own. Gerard was becoming a mess very quickly, his lips attached to Frank’s and his mind lost to the sensations. It was only when he finally registered Frank fiddling with getting his belt buckle open that Gerard forced himself to pull away.

“Hey,” Gerard smiled ruefully, bringing his hands down to pull Frank’s away from his pants. “Let’s slow down, huh? As much as I would love to, I don’t want to take advantage.. of you being a horny teenager and desperately wanting to experience things.”

“But I’m the one trying to take advantage of you.”

Gerard chuckled softly at that. “We can take our time, okay? When you’re really ready. And besides, you know how you’re mom pops in sometimes on her break to see how you’re doing.”

“Oh, right,” Frank smiled sheepishly, slowly moving off Gerard’s lap to instead lie down on his back with his head resting on Gerard’s leg.

The movie playing on the television still remained ignored by the two, both just gazing contently into each other’s eyes. Gerard let his fingers comb through Frank’s hair, happy at last that he could admit being crazy about the younger man without it feeling strange or wrong. Him and Frank together: it was right. And now Gerard felt a little stupid for ever believing in the feeling that it could ever be wrong. Like Frank said -no matter how cliché it was- it was like they were supposed to be together. How it was like part of Gerard’s destiny to be the one to help Frank; they we’re bound together. Gerard let his hand seek out one of Frank’s and gently intertwined their fingers. How could he have ever thought being with Frank like this was wrong?

“Why so smiley?” Gerard asked with a smile of his own gracing his face.

“I’m just happy,” Frank gave Gerard’s hand a squeeze. “When I was alone and stuck all that time, I thought I lost out on being able to do and have so many things, but you gave me that chance back. I never thought I’d get out of there. I never thought I’d grow up. I never thought I’d get to be with somebody and be happy. But here I am.”

“God, I swear you gotta stop talking like that or you’re gonna make my heart implode,” Gerard remarked with a smile, returning the squeeze of Frank’s hand.

“You make me mushy, what can I say?” Frank grinned cheekily with a little shrug.

“Mushy does kind of oddly suit you though, I’ll admit,” he gently poked Frank’s nose playfully. “It looks like we missed the end of the movie,” Gerard said as he saw the credits rolling up the screen out of the corner of his eye. “What do you wanna do now?”

“Well since you won’t let me get busy with you just yet..” Frank sighed in a mock irritation; Gerard rolled his eyes. “..You can teach me to drive now.”

That earned another eye roll. “I already told you before. No.”

“Yeah, but that was before you were my boyfriend,” Frank reasoned with a logic seemingly all his own. “So you should really teach me now or I’ll dump you,” he managed to say with a straight face.

“Oh well then, I guess it was good while it lasted,” Gerard teased, acting like he was taking the ‘dumping’ option. “It was the best fifteen minute relationship I ever had though. I’ll never forget you, Frank.”

“Gerard!” Frank whined, sitting up. “Come on. Please.”

Frank made his eyes big and hopeful and pleading, and Gerard found himself caving as he got lost in them. He did make the vow to himself that he would help Frank however he could to experience everything he wanted after all, even if he didn’t like the idea of teaching Frank when it was dark out.

“Okay okay, put that face away,” Gerard relented. “I’ll take you out for a little bit.”

Frank instantly grinned, and Gerard had to jump at the sudden invasion of Frank’s hand digging in his jeans pocket. Frank quickly pulled out Gerard’s set of keys, jingling them in Gerard’s face with a triumphant smile, and then darted off the couch to the front door.

“Hey!” Gerard called, turning off the television and DVD player with the remote before running after him. “I’ll drive us somewhere secluded and then you can have your turn.”

“This neighborhood is quiet enough,” Frank argued, slipping on his sneakers and clipping his set of house keys to his belt loop before pulling Gerard out the door into the dark evening. “It’s not like this place is crawling with cops. And I know how to work a car. I just technically never operated one before. Please, Gerard?” Frank asked as they both stood outside of the driver side door of Gerard’s car.

Gerard was finding it hard to resist the hopeful, pleading face Frank was making again, and he could understand Frank’s deep excitement and want to finally get behind the wheel and drive. Gerard remembered being sixteen and having his dad let him drive for the first time. It had been awesome to finally be out on the road and in control. Frank had been deprived of the teenage joy long enough, and if Frank was ever going to learn, Gerard had to just let him get out there on the road and do it. “Okay. Just be careful about what you’re doing, okay? And go slow.”

“I will.” Frank beamed. “Thank you!” he moved up on his tiptoes and planted a firm kiss to Gerard’s lips. And in feeling those lips against his, Gerard instantly felt at ease about everything. Even if he did get in trouble for letting Frank drive his car without a license or permit, that trouble would be more than worth seeing Frank smile so excitedly right now. “Let’s roll!” Frank exclaimed, letting himself into the car.

Gerard followed suit, moving around to the other side door and climbing in. He fastened his seatbelt and watched as Frank buckled his own and went about adjusting the side and review mirrors so he could see out of them properly. “Okay, now just take the key and-“

“I know how to start a car,” Frank rolled his eyes, interrupting Gerard’s instructions. “This’ll be easy-peasy.” Frank grinned and turned the key in the ignition, starting the engine. He turned on the headlights first and then put the shift into reverse to back out of the driveway. Frank checked his view out of the mirrors first, and then slung his arm over the back of Gerard’s seat, turning his body so he could look out of the back window.

“Great,” Gerard praised, looking out of the window, too, to be sure of no cars or pedestrians passing by. “Now just go slow..” He warned as Frank eased his foot off the brake pedal. And all went well. Frank backed out slow and almost effortlessly, and Gerard couldn’t help but smile proudly at Frank. “That was great, Frankie.”

Frank grinned and shifted the car into drive. Gerard wasn’t so worried anymore. If Frank could pull off going backwards so smoothly, he figured Frank had to be a natural and would be safe through this little hands-on lesson.

“How about you just take us around the block for starters?”

“Sure thing.”

Gerard settled back comfortably in his seat, yet kept attentive incase he had to warn or help Frank somehow. He couldn’t help but mentally laugh to himself as Frank slowly began to drive down the dark residential street: he was giving his boyfriend a driving lesson. That had to be odd at best. The oddness of the situation wasn’t dwelt on for long at all though. It only led to the thought that Frank really was his boyfriend now. He never would have dreamed it would have ever come to this when he first met Frank’s spirit. There couldn’t have possibly been a more bizarre way to meet, but Gerard was sure now that it was meant to happen. And here they are now: best friends and more. Gerard let his hand wander to rest gently on Frank’s thigh in a caring gesture. Frank kept his eyes on the road, but Gerard could see the corner of his mouth curl up into a smile. Gerard had a smile of his own on his face, but it faded into a worried expression when Frank missed his second right turn and just remained going straight on the busier main street.

“You missed it. Turn down the next one,” Gerard directed, but Frank passed the next street as well, and he was gaining speed. “Frank, what the hell are you doing? Take a turn. I said just around the block to start with.”

“Bor-ing,” Frank responded simply, driving them straight until he came to a red light. The stop was a bit abrupt, making Gerard whip forward slightly in his seat.

Besides the choppy stop, Frank was doing very decent for this being his first time out driving, but that didn’t stop the worry from creeping back up in Gerard. He didn’t really want Frank out in the main roads with a lot of other cars around, especially at night. “Frank, when that light turns green you are going to take a right and pull over to the curb, got it.”

Frank switched on the left directional light defiantly with a smirk on his face and took that left turn instead of the right when the light changed.

“Frank!”

“Relax, babycakes,” Frank giggled. “I just wanna go somewhere. It’s not far. Don’t worry. Trust me, I can get us there.”

Gerard sighed. He was worried, but he had to admit, Frank was doing a good job so far, obeying the speed limit and being attentive. “Fine. Just.. for god sakes be careful. I don’t want you in the hospital again. I don’t care about me. Just you. I don’t ever want to see you hurt again.”

“Well, I care about you,” Frank glanced over for a second to smile softly at Gerard. “I promise I’ll be careful. And it’s just down the street up ahead.”

The route was suddenly very familiar to Gerard as Frank took a right at the next light they came across, and it clicked all of a sudden that Frank was driving them to his apartment. It was a large three story house really, each floor a home to a different person. Gerard’s was on the second floor, sandwiched between his landlady on the first floor and another tenant above him. Frank pulled into the large driveway, illuminated by a flood light attached to the garage, and parked. Gerard watched as Frank pulled the keys from the ignition and unbuckled his seatbelt. Frank got out of the car without a word, only a grin on his face as he ran to the outside stairs and began climbing them up to the second floor. Gerard just chuckled to himself and locked the doors before following after Frank. The door to his apartment was ajar when he reached it; Frank had apparently let himself in with Gerard’s keys that he had kept in his possession.

“Frank..” Gerard called out as he shut the door and moved further into the apartment. It was clean and furnished simply, but the fresh coats of paint on the walls and the little furniture and decorative items it had, Gerard made sure they were colorful. An outlandish and eclectic style. Gerard stepped into the kitchen, the walls a deep red, and caught Frank sitting at the small round table in mid conversation on his cordless house phone.

“..Iero or Amy Zicardi? … Thanks.” Frank grinned when he finally realized that Gerard had entered the room. He sent Gerard an innocent look before he had to respond into the phone. “Hey Auntie Amy, it’s Frank... Yeah, I’m good just pretty tired... No, it’s okay, but can you just tell her that I’m staying over Gerard’s tonight?” Another innocent smile was thrown at Gerard with that request, and he then chuckled into the receiver at something his aunt had to have said, “Yeah, I don’t want her to freak out when she gets back home and I’m not there... Okay, cool, thanks... I’ll probably see you tomorrow or Sunday… Okay. Love you too, bye.” Frank ended the call and set the phone down on the table top as he smiled more at Gerard.

“So.. you think you can just take my keys from me, use the puppy dog eyes on me so you could basically abduct my car while I’m in it, just barge into my house, and invite yourself to spend the night? Is that it?” Gerard had his arms crossed over his chest, acting like he was mad, but there was an obvious smile in his voice as he made his accusations.

“Yup,” Frank answered simply, another grin spreading on his face.

Gerard laughed and pulled Frank up gently from his chair, wrapping him in a hug. “You’re lucky you’re my boyfriend, kid, or you might not have gotten away with all that.”

“In that case, I’m extra happy to be your boyfriend,” Frank grinned. “Is it okay, though, that I stay over? I didn’t really mean to be a sneaky bastard ..well, maybe a little, but really I just wanted to be with you. And you know, without the worry of my mom popping in on us. I mean, she loves you and everything, but she doesn’t need to see us all cuddly and stuff. Ew.”

Gerard chuckled again at the sort of disgusted face Frank was making and gave him another squeeze. “You can stay here whenever you want. There’s no way that I would ever say no to sharing my bed with you.”

“I like the sound of that,” Frank smiled and then failed to stifle a big yawn. “Can we play your Guitar Hero now?” he asked with sleepy, yet bright hopeful eyes.

“I knew there had to be another reason you wanted to come over here.” Gerard laughed.

“Your videogames are just a bonus,” Frank grinned cheekily, followed by another yawn.

“I guess they are part of the amazing package that is me,” Gerard smiled. “But how about we play tomorrow though, huh? You look really tired. You need your rest.” Gerard would have let Frank play, but a third yawn that escaped Frank’s mouth made Gerard change his mind about encouraging Frank to stay up. That urge and need to help and take care of Frank would never fade, Gerard was sure. He slipped an arm over Frank’s shoulders and began to guide him out into the small living room that had to be walked through in order to get to the bedroom.

“Oh, come on,” Frank sighed, annoyed, and pulled himself away from Gerard, plopping himself down on the plush black living room sofa. “I’m not a little kid. Yeah, I’m tired and all, but I can stay awake. Just a game or two or seventeen and then we can go to bed together, hmm?” Frank smiled sweetly. “So videogames now?”

Gerard couldn’t resist that smile and also couldn’t help the memory of Frank’s spirit from springing into attention in his mind. Back when he was stuck in that old bedroom, Frank had admitted to trying to play Gerard’s games while Gerard was at work. And frequently Frank would practically beg Gerard to let and help him play, but it never really did work. And here was Frank now, still acting like that dorky teenage boy with that teenage boy need for videogame play-age. Gerard chuckled to himself quietly, smiling to Frank. “You know what, twerp. I like how it’s like nothing’s changed. You’re still just acting like that dorky little friend I have.”

“That’s me,” Frank smirked proudly. “Only now I get to kiss you …and other things..” he left the statement hanging in the air, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Gerard chuckled and bent down to place a soft kiss on Frank’s lips. “Other things, huh?” Gerard smirked.

“Yeah. You know.. the things we’re gonna do in your bed after I kick your ass at Guitar Hero,” Frank grinned cockily.

“Oh? You sound pretty sure of that,” Gerard teased.

“Well, I am. I’ll beat you. And then I hope you’re still not seeing me as some little kid that’s not ready to do certain other things, ‘cause I am. I’ve just wanted to be with you for the longest time.”

Gerard really didn’t want to rush things. The last thing in the world he wanted to do was fuck things up with Frank when they were just starting out as something more together. But when Frank pulled Gerard down and kissed him, Gerard’s resolve to be careful began to crumble. Gerard had no problem with kissing, and these kisses that they were sharing especially. Slow and deep and meaningful. But when Frank ended up laid out across the sofa and Gerard over him with lips locked more heatedly, Gerard couldn’t help but throw caution to the wind. They were adults, they cared deeply for each other, and they shared a profound connection that no one would ever truly understand or know. And showing that caring and love for each other emotionally and physically, it felt right and it was right. Gerard was done worrying.

“Gerard..” Frank said breathlessly during a moment of their lips parted from each other. His hair was a mess, his face flush, and he was panting, his eyes half lidded from the exertion -and maybe a bit of lust. “..Gerard.. do, do you have a condom?”

The question made the heat Gerard was already feeling spike up even more. “Yeah. Are you sure though? And you feel up to it?”

“Yes. I’m very sure,” Frank give a nod, smiling lovingly.

“Okay then,” Gerard smiled back. “Don’t you go anywhere then. I’ll be right back.” Gerard pecked Frank’s lips softly before carefully climbing off of him to quickly dart to his bedroom. He turned the light on, kicking off his shoes and pulling off his shirt as he crossed the room to get to his nightstand drawer. Gerard insides were bubbling with anticipation and yearning as he dug out the lube and protection he and Frank were going to need. His mind was flying high as he hurried back to the living room. He just wanted to be with Frank, connect in every way possible, and it was knowing that that feeling was shared which made Gerard truly happy. Gerard did say he liked how things were basically the same between he and Frank, but the big change of Frank once being like his brother to now his lover.. that made his heart soar. Gerard returned before the couch and just looked down at Frank laying there with his eyes closed waiting from him. He looked like an angel, almost like he was asleep, and Gerard couldn’t resist kneeling down and placing a soft kiss to Frank’s forehead. Frank didn’t open his eyes from the action though, and Gerard raised a confused brow.

“Frankie?”

No movement at all except for the gentle rise and fall of his chest, and that’s when Gerard realized with a quiet laugh to himself that Frank had indeed fallen asleep. He sighed ruefully and set his gathered items down on the coffee table. Part of Gerard just wanted to shake Frank awake so they could continue what they had started, and as much as he knew Frank would probably go along with it once awoken, Gerard wasn’t that selfish. What Frank really needed right now was rest. “I knew you were exhausted,” Gerard softly mused out loud before leaning down and gathering Frank in his arms. Frank let a soft groan, but remained asleep as Gerard carefully carried him into the bedroom. He set his slumbering boyfriend gently down on the unmade bed and went to work carefully pulling off each of Frank’s shoes and then on to his jeans so Frank would be more comfortable. The jeans were difficult to pull down and off Frank’s legs without sort of jerking Frank’s body a bit, but Gerard appeared to succeed in not waking Frank up. That is until he heard Frank’s soft sleepy voice murmur.

“Gerard..” he said, keeping his eyes closed as he spoke. “Did we have sex?”

Gerard chuckled softly to himself, folding Frank’s jeans up and then setting them down on top of his dresser before stripping off his pants so he was down to just his boxers. “No Frankie, you fell asleep.”

“..Oh... Sorry. We.. we can do it now if you want,” Frank still hadn’t even opened his eyes and his voice sounded utterly exhausted; Gerard had to laugh softly again.

“You’re wiped out, Frank. It’s okay. We’ll just lay here and sleep together, hmm?” Gerard turned off the light switch on the wall and climbed into bed, pulling the sheet and blanket up over them both.

As soon as Gerard laid down comfortably Frank rolled onto his side and promptly hugged himself to Gerard. He sighed. “I hate that I get tired so easily,” Frank continued to speak in a soft sleepy voice. “But this is nice, just laying with you.”

“It is,” Gerard smiled, turning his head so he could kiss the top of Frank’s. “And tell you what, you can stay here all day tomorrow and sleep over again if you’d like.”

“I’d like that a lot. I would have stayed even if you didn’t invite me,” Gerard could just hear the grin behind Frank’s words. “You’re stuck with me forever you know, so I hope you can deal with it.”

“You know, when I first met you I already thought I was going to be stuck with you forever. You haunting me for the rest of my life. I was terrified. But now.. now I wouldn’t have it any other way.” And Gerard meant it. He couldn’t imagine his life without Frank in it now. That entire terrifying trauma Gerard went through thinking he was going insane when he was first seeing Frank’s shadow of a spirit in his old room was more than worth going through to have Frank awake and well and such a big part of his life. He’d go through it a hundred times over and them some. “You’re an annoying little spaz, Frankie, and I love you.” Gerard didn’t get a response to that though. He quickly noticed how Frank’s breathing seemed more evened out and figured he had fallen back to sleep. Gerard just smiled and kissed the top of Frank’s head again before closing his eyes and settling comfortably against his pillow, his arm wrapped lovingly around Frank’s sleeping form cuddled to him.

“I love you too, Gerard.” The sleepy whispered voice startled Gerard just a little, Frank wasn’t asleep as he had thought. But the words made Gerard smile and even more so when Frank nuzzled his face lovingly against his chest. “My nightmare really is over, and you’re making my life better than a dream. And I know when I make my band and I’m famous, you’ll be there, side stage. My little groupie.”

Gerard laughed softly, giving Frank a lovingly squeeze and another kiss to his head. “You can count on it, Frankie. You can count on it.”

Notes