"How many is that now?"Cas asked.
I looked down at my new glass of champagne, thinking hard,"Maybeeeeeeee um. I don't know. I lost count. It could be my sixth. But it could also be my tenth,"I smiled at him, leaning across the table towards him slightly.

In the back of my mind I knew that I should stop drinking. But in the front of my mind it was telling me that because the reception was being held in hotel Castiel and I were staying in, I could drink as much as I wanted.
"Don't you think maybe you should stop?"Cas asked, grabbing my arm to stabilize me as I slipped and spilled my drink all over my arm and part of my leg.

"Damn,"I groaned, staring at the wasted bubbly in dismay.
"I think that is a clear sign that you should stop drinking. Do you want me to take you upstairs to bed?"Cas asked me seriously.
"Fuck no. It's barely over,"I giggled, drinking the last drips of champagne before stumbling to my feet.

"I want something other than champagne,"I sighed, looking around for something different.
"How about some water? Or coffee? And then something to eat and then bed?"Castiel suggested. I turned to look at him, blinking away dizziness.
"How about fuck off? I can handle myself, Cas,"I glared at him, feeling myself sway on the spot.
"Are you sure about that?"Cas stood up, placing his hands on my arms as I struggled not to fall.

"Don't touch me. I can stand by myself,"I shoved his arms away.
"Prove it,"Cas was pissed off. There was a hard look on his face as I stood up straight, somehow managing to stand still.
"Fine,"Cas grumbled and sat back down, looking across the room at someone.

"Since when do you care about my drinking?"I sat back down, giving him a curious look.
"Because its a little out of hand is all,"Cas muttered.
"You have no right to say that. It's my life. Okay?"
"I have every right to tell you that you have a problem. The first night I met you you got drunk straight away and fucked me and some guy from a hotel! The second time I saw you we got drunk and started making out on my couch. Last night, you got more drunk than me. Now, here I am, at a wedding for two people I have never met, watching you get drunk because you're too afraid to man up to your own feelings!"He shouted loudly.

"Oh well you're one to talk! You cant even tell your fucking wife that you're gay you fuckwit! Don't you dare say I'm too afraid to face my problems, when you cant even do that yourself!"I spat back at him. I jumped to my feet and gave him one last searching look before turning around and storming away to no where in particular. I found myself at a table full of food. My stomach gave a gurgle so I grabbed a plate from the stack at the end of the table and started loading my plate up.

Once I had filled it with all sorts of shit I sat down at an empty table and watched the people dancing while I ate my food glumly. Patrick and Lindsay were dancing to a song of their own, slow dancing close to the edge of the dance floor even though the song was an upbeat song. I smiled and shoved something in my mouth.

As soon as I got a taste of what it was I started coughing it out,"Oh jesus. Fuck!"I managed to spit it out onto my plate,"Why the fuck did I grab fucking salmon?"I asked myself out loud, ignoring the look from the people at the table next to me. I grabbed an empty cup and spat out as much as I could, fighting the urge to throw up from the taste.

When I looked up the first thing I saw was Cas on the dance floor making out with some chick I had seen making eyes at him. I checked myself for feelings and was grateful to find nothing. I had no feelings for Cas at all. Christ, why the fuck did I bring him here? All I had succeeded in doing was wrecking his marriage. At that thought, I stood up and made my way to the bathroom.

I barricaded myself in a cubicle and started dry retching into the toilet but for some reason, nothing wanted to come up. I gave up and sat back, pressing my cheek to the cold wall.
"What the fuck is wrong with me?"I whispered, blinking the tears away. I was a terrible person. I killed eight people. Eight lives ended because of a blind fury and fucking unbalanced chemicals in my brain.

I took a deep breath and made myself get up from the floor. I took a deep breath and struggled to unlock the door. When I finally got it unlocked, I stumbled out into someone.
"Shit I'm sorry,"I grumbled, grabbed their arms to stabilize them but froze when I looked up into Gerard's shocked face. I let go, turned and fled the bathroom.