Just Think Happy Thoughts

Saying goodbye was not always something I was good at. But then again, who really was good at that? I felt myself having to say goodbye too soon in my life once before, and I felt like it was happening again.

“Well here we are” my mom stated as we arrived outside of the airport terminal at LAX. We would be boarding our plane to New Jersey in about two hours. I gulped at the thought. Not only was I leaving my two best friends in the world, but the fact that I had to go on a plane was scaring me senseless. I had never been on a plane before and never intended to be within a certain distance from them. Ever since I was a little girl I was afraid of them.

“Come on girl, gather up your things. We have to get going!” Jake, my mom’s new husband, ushered me out of the van. I gave him a stern look as I made my way to the trunk to join them in gathering our belongings.

Jake was the whole reason I felt like my whole existence was crashing down on me. Being a native of New Jersey, he was the reason we were making this move. The reason he came to California in the first place was purely for business. I didn’t know the whole story behind how him and my mom met and fell in love because, honestly, I didn’t give a shit, but after the two weeks he had spent here for his business trip, my mom and him kept in touch and for a year they were in this long distance relationship until he flew here to marry her. I tried to convince my mom not to do it, that it was rushed, but I guess it’s true that sometimes love can be blinding, because I did’t even get what my mom saw in him. Not only was his appearance unflattering but his personality was biting. My mom, on the other hand was a natural beauty with an adoring personality. I didn’t get the match up at all.

“Sweeheart it will be alright.” My mom laid her hand on top of mine as she said this. I knew she could sense the angst that was stirring inside of me.

“Mom I know when you say that, you’re trying to make me feel better, but you’re not, at all.” I sighed and removed my last piece of luggage from the trunk. I looked over to side of the van where my friends Jade and Aden were standing, staring at me and smiling. “Wipe that grin off your faces, I know you guys are pissed about this.”

“Oh come on, maybe your mom is right, shorty” Jade said as she walked up to me and stuck out her tongue, knowing that I hated being called that. I ignored the comment, not trying to get into a heated argument about how tiny I was just as I’m about to leave. Jade liked to pick on how short I was, probably because she used to be the short one before high school and kids would pick on her back then. Or maybe it was just because she loved to hear herself talk. No matter how rambunctious she could be though, Jade was always supportive and had pure intentions.

“Seriously, can we hurry this up or we’ll miss our flight” Jake chimed in. He couldn’t be anymore of an asshole. I looked over at my mom and frowned. She got the picture.

“Jade and Aden, it has been a pleasure. You’ve both taken such great care of my girl.” She pulled my two best friends since kindergarten into a group hug. I could see Jake sneering at the site as he walked off into the building, not bothering to say goodbye to anyone. He never liked my friends, or me for that matter, so I wasn’t too surprised.

“Oh Ashley! The pleasure was all mine!” Aden said in a pleasant tone. He took my mom’s hand in his and planted a kiss on it. I rolled my eyes. Aden was always a flirt. And if he wasn’t flirting he was well… doing other things amongst that. Aden was the center of attention at our high school. It didn’t help that he was a pretty attractive guy to begin with. Even if he could be a player, Aden was always a loyal friends to Jade and me.

“Alright Aden, she gets it” Jade scoffed as she pulled Aden away from my mom. I raised an eyebrow at the tinge of jealousy in her voice.

“Oh isn’t Aden just a sweetheart though?” my mom cooed. I smirked at her obliviousness. Jade followed suit.

“Alright guys its time to wrap this up I have to get moving and so do they” Jade’s mom Elle came from around the van and walked over to us. “Honey, you will do fine. Look how beautiful you are. All the boys are gonna come running after you.” I blushed at the thought. If that was going to happen I would have probably had a boyfriend by now.

“Elle is right, I’m going to head inside, thank you for the ride Elle. This isn’t goodbye, this is see you later!” my mom walked into the terminal cheerfully.

“Can we just have a moment alone now Elle?” I asked her with pleading eyes.

“Alright alright give me a hug. I love you like my own daughter. I’ll miss you dear.” Her eyes began to well up with tears but before I could see her cry she pulled me into a hug.

“Thank you Elle, I’ll miss you just as much” I smiled and hugged back. Then Elle returned to the driver’s seat without another word.

“Well this is it I guess” Jade said in a quavering voice, which was different from her usually boisterous attitude. That’s when my vision started to get cloudy, tears threatening to fall from my eyes. “I’ll miss you.” She wrapped her arms around me tightly and I squeezed back.

“I’ll miss you more” I replied, my voice just as shaky. Jade and I hugged for what seemed like an eternity until Aden decided to step in to separate us.

“You know I need to say goodbye too” he interrupted. He pulled me away from Jade and into his arms, holding me tighter than he ever had before. “Kairi I’m going to miss you the most.”

“I’ll miss you too, so much” I looked up at him. His usually lit up face was replaced with a sullen shell. His blue eyes usually lustrous like the stars in the midnight sky were now dull, as if all the stars had burned out. I couldn’t help but let the tears that had been forming fall from my eyes.

“How is it that you manage to make crying even look cute?” He asked as a single tear slid down his face. I wiped the tear from his cheek. As I was about to open my mouth to assure him everything would be alright, Jade pulled him away from me.

“Aden stop flirting she needs to go now” Jade scowled. She grabbed Aden’s hand and pulled him away from me. Her expression had changed from before. Anger seemed to have taken over her once gloomy disposition. I wondered why she would be so angry all of a sudden as I watched her try to drag Aden into the van.

“Well I should head inside. I love you guys. Everything will be okay, right?” I lied to myself and them. I figured if they believed it would be okay, maybe it would be. Then I turned to walk away.

“We love you too!” Jade called after me and I cracked a small smile as I reached the door but before I could walk in I heard yelling behind me.

“No! Let me go Jade! Let me go!” Aden was screaming. I turned back to look and Aden was thrashing around in Jade’s grip but she wouldn’t let go of him.

“What is wrong with you Aden!?” Jade shouted at him. Her grasp on him slipped and he started to charge towards me when Jade grabbed him from behind, wrapping her arms around his waist. “Let her go already.” Tears started to fall from her eyes. “Go Kairi. I’ve got him. He’ll be okay.”

“Okay” I said softly. And then I turned away before they could see the tears start rushing down my face again. I had never seen Aden act like that before and it hurt me to see him that way. I ignored the screaming as I went to join my mom and Jake at the front desk. I tried to shake off what had just happened and wiped the tears from my eyes. I walked up to them trying to put a smile on my face, though that didn’t last too long.

“There you are what took you so long!?” Jake raised his voice angrily. I looked at him unsparingly. He disgusted me.

“Oh dear, calm down she’s here in time. She had to say goodbye to her friends” my mom reasoned. She was always defending me around Jake.

“Mom I don’t know if I can do this.” I felt the anxiety welling up inside of me.

“Oh please, stop being a baby” Jake snapped at me.

“Stop being so insensitive, dear” my mom told Jake. Then she looked back over at me. I was beginning to shake. “Just remember what I said, we’re safer in a plane than we would ever be in a car. Take deep breaths now sweety. And here take this.” She handed me a little white pill I usually took for my anxiety. I quickly took it and gulped it down with my own spit. In the meantime, I tried to calm myself down but it wasn’t working. I thought I would faint, but I kept taking deep breaths as my mom had told me to.

An hour and a half later my mom took my hand and led me onto our plane. “You alright dear?” she asked me. I nodded. I had been panicking up until half an hour ago when the medicine had started to kick in. “Then, would you like the window seat?”

“Yes please” I responded as I went to sit in my seat. I peered over at Jake who was sitting in the aisle seat giving me a death glare. He was furious about his position. I laughed to myself and turned to look out the window, not wanting to start something with him on the plane. A few minutes later the plane was getting ready for take off and my mom rested her hand on my shoulder, reassuringly. By the time the plane was off of the ground I couldn’t even remember why I was so afraid in the first place. I drifted off into a deep slumber as my flight from Los Angeles, California to Belleville, New Jersey took its course.

Notes