Kill This Venom From My Heart

The next day I arrive home and after dumping my bags in the living room I walk straight into the bedroom, collapsing face down on the fresh sheets I put on the bed before I left for tour and passing out, my shoes and belt still on but I have no desire to change that. Fourteen hours later I wake up feeling so much better and I drag myself out of bed and into the bathroom, stripping out of my disgusting clothes and showering for so long I run out of hot water, the water and soap making me feel alive again and by the time I get out I feel halfway normal again, dressing in clean pyjamas before wandering into the kitchen for something to eat but realising I have nothing as I've been on tour for the last five months. I let out a string of curses as I make my way back to the bedroom, dressing in proper clothes again and as I walk to the front door, heading out to get groceries I pick up my phone from the table beside the door and see a new message.
G: Hey Frankie, how does it feel being home for a change?
I smile when I see his message, having whined to him more than once before about how fatiguing being on tour can be. 'Feels pretty good, just woke up from a fourteen hour sleep and showered properly for the first time in you don't even want to know. Downside, I have no food and am forced to go shopping : ('
After I send the message I get in the car and brave the LA traffic, heading for the grocery store, doing my shopping and Gerard still doesn't answer. I feel kinda bummed out on the way home and when I get there I start up my laptop while I make myself some waffles only to find Gerard isn't on Skype either when it dawns on me that he'd be in school right now and I feel a jolt of shame run through me that I have feelings for someone so young. This kid is very much a loner and was just looking for a friend, someone to connect to and I went and fell for him. I sit at the kitchen counter with my head in my hands, wondering when I became such a creepy freak when my phone buzzes and startles me. I pick it up, eager to see Gerard's reply but instead it's a message from Jamia, my ex.
Jam: I know you're back from tour, I need to see you.
'What could you possibly want from me? I gave you my heart and you fucked around behind my back, what do you want now?'
Jam: I want to work this out, you know you still have feelings for me, you can't deny it.
I don't bother replying, hoping she'll just leave me alone but not even five minutes later my phone starts buzzing against the counter top and her name flashes on the screen but I ignore it, letting it ring out. Part of me still loves Jamia but I've given her so many chances and she hurt me every single time, I would be completely foolish to take her back.

Later that afternoon I am laying on the couch channel surfing when I hear a strange noise and I get up to investigate when I see I left my laptop on and logged into Skype and Gerard is chatting to me.
Gwhiz: Hey Frankie : )
Gwhiz: Frank you there?
FrnK: Yeah hey sorry I forgot I left this on. How was your day?
Gwhiz: Lets not talk about that. How was your trip to the grocery store?
FrnK: Of all the adult things I have to do, grocery shopping is at the top of the list of things I hate. What happened today?
Gerard takes a few minutes to reply and I begin to wonder what could have happened. I know he doesn't get along very well with anyone in his school. He has too different interests from other people his age so he doesn't fit in and he gets bullied, probably more than he admits.
Gwhiz: Just same old shit, except today I got accused of lying and shoved into my locker. I can't wait to get out of school.
FrnK: Lying about what? And who did that to you?
I feel myself getting angrier and angrier with every second that passes and when his reply comes in steam is practically rolling out of my ears.
Gwhiz: These kids were being total dicks and saying shit about your band and making shit up about you and I kinda snapped and called them out on the lies and when they argued and asked how would I know I told them I know you and they called me a lying faggot and shoved me into my locker.
FrnK: Fuck those kids, you're so much better than them Gee and you really shouldn't have to put up with their shit.
Gwhiz: Thanks Frankie, I'm gonna go
FrnK: Are you ok?
Gwhiz: I'll be ok, bye
Gerard goes offline and I sigh, feeling terrible that I inadvertently caused what happened to him today. Gerard is so sweet and kind and caring from my interactions with him and he doesn't deserve all the shit he gets. I close down Skype and wander back into the living room, taking the laptop with me and I go onto twitter, clicking on Gerard's DP and when it comes up bigger I stare at it, smiling at how adorable he is, his nose slightly upturned and his smile crooked, like he only smiles with one side of his mouth. An idea starts forming in my mind and I start to wonder if it's creepy when my phone starts buzzing on the table and when I pick it up I see another message from Jamia.
Jam: I'm coming over to see you tomorrow, we're sorting this out.
I groan in frustration and decide in that moment that my idea isn't so bad, getting online and buying a plane ticket to Jersey, the flight leaving in four hours.

Notes

Feeling pretty bummed that so many people got to meet Gee at his record release and that Lynz and Bandit were there too
why do I have to live so far away : (