I Don't Believe In God

He sighed and set down his sandwich , fiddling with his ring. He chuckled and breathed out again. “Well , its not really a long story.” he giggled again , now fussing with the cuff of his cargidan. “Go on.” I pushed , pulling another cigarette out of its carton. “I don’t know who my real parents are. So unfourtonetly i had been moving been moving from home from home because no one wanted me back then.” He started off , sighing again. ”I was very troubled , i sat in my room for days. I did some very cruel things to myself and others , until I was moved to a family who were very kind.” He smiled at his lap , showing off all his pearly white teeth. “They took me out of the rut i was in , and showed me the way of the lord and he helped me.” He looked up at me , and placed his small hand on my wrist again. “And thats why I believe the lord can pull you out of your rut , Gerard.” He smiled at me , his fingers tightening around my wrist slightly. I pulled my wrist away gently from his grasp again , to only light up another cigarette. His smile faltered a bit , but he regained it right back. “I don’t think any god can help me.” I sighed , cigarette smoke spewing out of my mouth as I spoke. his face went puzzled for a second. He sparked up again his eyes filled with hope. i cringed slightly and inhaled deeply of my cigarette. “How about you come to church with me , on saturday?” he squeaked excitedly. Me on the other hand , choked on the smoke going to my lungs. I coughed violently and sputtered out the dangerous fumes. “You are going to love Father Chuck!” he cheered , he clapped his hands together. I growled slightly , “Do I look like the church goer to you?” I snipped with a sharp edge on my voice , hoping my words would have some effect , but it didnt. Frank just smiled even wider and rolled his eyes playfully. “Gerard , don’t be silly , anyone can be a church “goer.” he giggled and put air quotes around goer. I chucked my unfinished cigarette to the ground , annoyed I was wasting a good cigarette. “Im not going to fucking church.” I snapped , crossing my arms. He squeezed my wrist again. “Gerard , please? I want to help.” I snorted “I dont want any help.” I spat , causing him to retract his hand. “You don’t know a thing about my ‘sins’ , plus I don’t even know you.” I said a little less harshly. He just sighed and stood up just as the bell sounded. “I just don’t want you to end up in the same place I was Gerard.” he said sadly , then walked away.

Notes

small chapter
// might update Frankie Baby
thanks for reading little doves
xxx