* I am writing this chapter to explain Gee's past that will shortly come into the plot*
Gerard's P.O.V
(3 Years Ago)


I was looking at the pants section at Hot Topic deciding what to get. Natalie had sent me to pick up a T-Shirt she ordered and decided to get something for myself. I should call her Nat because she keeps bugging me, I silently chuckled as I thought of that. I was looking for the correct size when I heard someone come up behind me. "Do you need any help? I turned around to see a very cute boy in front of me. He had dark blonde hair that swooped to the side just above his eye, dark blue eyes and was wearing a uniform, which meant he worked there. I started to notice that he was blushing. I had been staring at him forever; I looked to the side "Oh, Um no i'm fine" He nodded and walked away. I mentally slapped myself for sounding so stupid. I was still thinking about him and told myself, He's probably straight, Just stop thinking. I grabbed my pair of jeans and Natalie's T-Shirt and headed towards the counter. Dammit he was at the register. I slowly walked up there and placed the stuff on the counter trying not to make eye contact when he spoke, picking up the pink T-shirt he looked at me, "Is this your girlfriends?" "um. No, I don't swing that way" I replied quietly. he gave a half smile "Oh..Me neither" As I looked at him I think my eyes got two times bigger. So he was gay.

I took out my wallet and he looked at me again, "I was wondering if you wanted to go for lunch, I have break right now?" "Sure I guess" My cheeks heating up. he stuck out his hand " I'm Mark'..."I'm Gerard" I say nervously. he smiles "Interesting name..Okay let me go in the back and get my stuff. wait by the front. I nodded and grabbing my bag I waited by the door. My heart was pounding in my chest. Did I just get asked out? I tried taking deep breaths trying not to be so nervous. The last time I was asked out was in high school. It didn't work because he didn't want people knowing he was gay, so we had to keep it a secret. Lets just say he was more scared of people calling him names then I did. I looked over and Mark was coming out of the back smiling. "Ok Where did you want to go for lunch?" "I'm not sure you choose. "How about the food court, when were done if we still have time we can look around?" "Ok, Let's go" and we walked out of the store

*2 months later*
What can I say; We really hit it off. The first couple weeks were weird, We went and hung around the mall for hours talking and laughing, I think I was falling in love, then the next week was when he told me he loved me, and I said it back. I believed him...he was so sincere and tried to make me so happy, He always wanted to pay for the Starbucks and buy me everything... I truly believed he loved me. Around the third month things started slipping. Whenever I tried to hang out with Mark he would say he was busy with work or hanging out with some of his friends. I decided to drive to his house.

Around 8:30 PM I pull up in his driveway to see that his bedroom light was on. Once again he blew me off saying that he was hanging with some friends. Walking to the front door I pulled out the spare key he gave me. I opened the door silently and looked around. No one was in the living room. Panic spread through me hoping that he was just sleeping or taking a shower. I've seen the movies. Guy comes home finds someone else sleeping with their partner...I slowly headed up the stairs. My heart beating faster and faster with every step. I stood outside the door and my heart shattered. Noises and moans coming from inside the room; I sucked it up and swung the door open. There lay Mark holding some dude who was on top. I just stood there, not yelling or crying. They looked up at who opened the door and Mark literally jumped up knocking the other boy off the bed. yelling at the other guy "Get dressed and get out now!!" He through on his pants and grabbed his shirt heading towards the door.Still standing in the doorway I stepped aside to let him through. he stopped in front of me "I swear he didn't tell me he had a boyfriend" "OUT!" screamed Mark and in a flash he was gone. Once we heard the door close he looked towards me.

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair looking to the ground. "How could you?" I whispered. He again looked into my eyes that were almost filled with tears. " I just..I don't know"...'WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW...You don't just sleep with another guy because you don't know" I started clenching my fist and my voice was getting angrier. "You said you loved me! Was all that a lie?" "No it wasn't a lie. I do love you Gee i-"
"Don't you call me Gee, You have no right to call me Gee anymore!" I screamed at him. He came up to me and tried to grab my hands I pulled away, He tried to do it again and I pushed him away, to where he landed on the bed. He looked startled at first then, his face became full fury. he jumped off the bed and came towards me fists clenched "You fucking idiot" he yelled and punched me in the stomach, I fell to the ground and he stepped back. It felt like I was dying but in reality the wind got knocked out of me. I was still laying on the ground my eyes closed and trying to breathe. I slowly got up and stared at him tears running down my face. "Get out" he said "Just get out, were done, over, now leave me alone and get the fuck out!" I wobbled over to the door holding my stomach.

I ran out of the house as fast as I could and got in my car. I just sat there crying for minutes. Cussing Mark out cussing myself out. I blamed myself, told myself it was my fault and that I deserve it. I began to believe it. Once I had stooped crying and made my way over to the nearest bar. "whisky please?" I told the bartender and he nodded getting me my drink. One after another till I couldn't feel pain anymore.
"Hello?" asked Mikey "H-ey, hey, Mikes" I said slurring my words "Gee, Are you drunk?" Mikey asked frantically "Ma-maybeee just a little teensy weensy bit" while drool came out of my mouth. That's when the bartender grabbed the phone.."Hello?...ya he's at the bar on Main street..10 minutes...Okay" and he hung up putting the phone on the counter. "why-Why did you talk to my brother?" I asked with a smile. he rolled his eyes and went to help another person. I kind of just sat there doing nothing until a worried Mikey comes into the door. "For fucks sake Gerard why did you decide to get drunk." Then memories of Mark flood back and I start crying. "hey it's ok, lets get you to Natalie's and we'll talk there.

After a long drive in the car my head is a little clearer. My eyes are all red and puffy and now it's just me Natalie and Mikey sitting on the couch. "okay tell us what happened?" says Mikey They knew about Mark, they've even met him a couple times; so this makes it even harder. I explain about how Mark kept blowing me off so I decided to drive to his house, I discover that he was cheating...Now tears were flowing down my face again. I didn't even think about it! I lifted up my shirt to expose a black and purple stomach "I forgot, he punched me in the stomach." I hear a gasp from both Mikey and Natalie. Nat comes over and takes a closer look. it's just a bruise, it doesn't seem like any ribs are cracked. "If my ribs were cracked I would have been in a lot more pain" She shrugs her shoulders and I look over at Mikey who is looking angry "How dare that asshole punch my brother!" "It's okay Mikey, it doesn't hurt that much, I'm fine" He puts his hands on his face. "What do we do now?" There was silence as I looked at the ground "I'm not sure"

After that Mikey left and Natalie and me watched a movie. She usually puts on romantic movies but she kindly put on a horror movie. We didn't want to talk about anything so we watched the movie in silence, Once in a while a tear would make it's way down my face and I quickly wiped it away. The next morning...yes morning I went out and bought myself 2 six packs of beer and by 12:00 they were empty. Luckily Natalie was at work so I would have time to sleep it off. This went on for months until I had no more money...Intervention....
We were sitting at the small dining room table. Mikey, Natalie, and me..that's all I got. I don't really have any friends. They were also the only ones who knew about my problem, not even my mom and dad, I din't talk to them much anymore. Instead of the usual right it on a piece of paper they decided to say it from the heart. As Mikey was telling me how when I grew up with him how he looked up too me and how he never imagined seeing me like this. It brought more tears to my eyes but Mikey continued. He was saying about how I was either going to have to change myself or he would send me to a support group. I wasn't mad at him for saying that; I knew I had to change. Next was Natalie...She told me about when she threw a party how I would rarely be seen with alcohol. I thought back to when I first met Natalie and she had a party I only had two beers before I stopped.

Boy has that changed. After she was done I wiped the tears from my eyes "I'll get better, I promise" They each gave me a hug and we all went out for lunch. It only took a couple weeks before I was sober. Not many people could do that. It felt so great to be back on track, Within a year I finally bought my own house and could keep it renovated. it was so amazing. I finally had a life...But some days I would still cry because I still believed it was my fault, That i'm the one who made this all happen. it was always my fault. why can't I find love again? I thought of that question for days but with a smile on my face, It's been about a year since I've been sober and all that stuff happened. But I still think about it everyday. oh when will this pain end.

Notes

Hey guys. I was debating whether or not to make this chapter. I did anyway.

So leave a comment of how you liked this chapter and maybe take a guess on how it will combine into the plot. Hey you might be right.

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