Photograph That I Gave You

Seven days, that's all I have to make things better. Step one is get us the fuck out of this town and there's only one person who I can bargain with about that right now. I go looking for Brian, the band's manager. Find him in his trailer.
"Hi."
"Jesus Frank, you scared me."
I shrug, holding my arms through the thin fabric of my shirt. "So what's the deal with this place? How much longer do we have to stay here?"
"You tell me." He responds tiredly.
"W-what, how should i-"
"Relax kid, I just meant I know about as much about the situation as you do. If it was up to me we would've been out of this place ages ago. Trust me, it'd save us a lot of money." "Feels weird not playing any shows you know." I admit, thinking more about someone else."There's nothing to take your mind off what happen with Jayy and Dahvie and...Jamia." "Hey listen, I know this has been rough. You've been through a shit ton in the past few days but it'll be over soon. They'll catch the sick bastard that did this."
Anger and frustration and fear build up and I let my bottled feelings fizz over like a shaken pop can. "Well who knows when that'll be! How many more of us are gonna bite it before we get the fuck out of here."
"Calm down okay? Calm down." He says in a resonable tone. "I know you must be worried about your friends, frankly I'm amazed you've been holding up this well."
I give him a deadpan look and walk away shaking my head. "Oh c'mon that was good!" I hear him calling once I'm out the door. "OK OK wait." My managers footsteps approach from behind, "Split this up with the rest of the guys just to tide you over."
The pile of cash he hands me is worn and warm in my grasp.
"I know its not how this usually works but these aren't exactly usual circumstances."
"Thanks and sorry for freaking out on you earlier. Don't think I'm not still grateful for this tour. You got us a crazy opportunity. Just wish it went better. "
"See ya round Iero, tell the boys to keep it together."
"Yeah I will." I will but can I?
A while later the whole group is gathered together, Ray, Mikey, Bob...Frank. We're hanging at a sushi place, the suggestion of no other than everybodies little brother. And none of us were complaining, it's good food. The nori is a bit chewy but that's all.
I wanted to have another heart to heart with my homicidal handsome but when I found him hanging around a barren merch stand, we weren't alone. It's so weird having to pretend nothings horrible is going on.
Not sure if the other guys noticed the awkwardness. If so they're considerate enough not to ask. At least there was common grounds for us all to agree on -food. Finally I tune into the conversation. "And Ray gets the rest." Mikey says slowly, counting out the bills.
"Thanks for remembering me." he replies.
A confused expression passes over Mikeys normal pokerface."Course Ray you're, like the most dedicated member of this band."
"Oh yeah," He breaks a smile. "Not like you've forgotten me at gas stations or anything before."
That's gets a laugh out of the whole table as we simultaneously recall the multiple incidents on our past tour."You're never going to let that go are you?" Gerard says good humouredly.
The guitarist sitting beside me just shakes his head, causing some crazy fro action. I'm glad he's such a nice guy or I would feel so threatened by his talent. Toro can shred like nobody's business.
We're seated by a window for a change, the gentle rain muted out any judgemental stares we usually get our way in suburbs like this. The Ways sit on the other side of the table.
Somehow we've begun talking about Star Wars again, which oddly always seems to happen. Ray and Mikey have turned to the regular argument about who is the better Sith Lord, while Bob exasperatedly tries to convince them they're both wrong.
Gee just sips on his drink coyly. I know where he sides on this debate. It's strange to see him not joining in. He must want to.
I notice he's wearing some reddish eye-shadow even though we aren't playing a set for at least a couple weeks. He is so damn pretty though he can pull it off casually.
He looks up from the table as though he can feel my gaze. Two sets of hazel eyes meet and I swear there is a tiny bolt of lightning shooting straight down my throat.
Maybe he feels it too because before I can say hey he's gotten up and is heading for the door muttering something about needing air.
Bobs the first one to look at me with a raised eyebrow. "So what's that about, you guys fighting?"
I rest my head on the countertop shoving aside my plate, " I don't know, it's ....complicated."
"Are you gonna go after him?" Ray asks concernedly.
"I don't know." I repeat with more emphasis.
"He's in one of his moods." Mikey informs us quietly. "When you grow up with someone so...uh 'emotional' you learn to spot them."
"He'll be fine though right? Like once we get playing venues again, it won't be too much for him or anything?" Ray fishes for reasurrance.
"Oh uh yea. They usually don't last long enough to do any harm."
I raise my head from the table, "What do you mean harm?Gerard was never violent as a kid was he?"
"Never to others but he wasn't exactly a happy camper y'know?" He laughs uncomfortably, "Like you know what it was like growing up in that area."
"Yeah yeah, you have a point Mikes." I ease up on the questions. I can tell theyre maming him anxious.
"You're just lucky Bob." Ray remarks.
"Oh yeeah Chicago. What a catch." He retorts sarcasticly.
I blurt out a new fear, "You don't think him and me is just a mood thing for him, with all the stress just another release or..."
"No way man, " Ray assures me so certain he's almost bored sounding, "This has been a thorough long in the making decision for him, any of us can garentee as much."
"Yeah OK, you must be right."I laugh it off best I can to mask the embarrassment. Suddenly I realize Mikey's wearing a hat. Damn, so he wasn't bluffing earlier. Without wanting I reach across and grab the gray beanie from his head. "You've lost this privilege little Way, for freaking me out." "I'm still a year older than you!"
"Nah man, doesn't matter." I say abstinately. "He has a point there." The rest of our little group agrees.
I laugh along with them but I can't help worrying about where Gerard has gone. Wondering if I really trust him, or if that's even possible given he doesn't trust himself.

Notes

Got late but here it is.