From Russia With Love

Morning sunlight streamed through a small crack in the drawn curtains of Dominika’s room, modestly lighting and warming the cold air around her. Half-asleep and wrapped in her linen like a cocoon, she lazily tugged the corner of her duvet up and over her face to shield it from the sun’s assault. It was only when she attempted to wriggle further down her warm tunnel that the soreness between her legs stopped her in her tracks and the memories of the night before flooded into her consciousness. She turned and realized Gerard was still in the bed next to her, one arm draped over her protectively as it was almost every other morning, as if everything was the same.

Dominika eyes glazed over as she looked at Gerard’s sleeping face, so peaceful among the white pillows that dominated her bed. His hair was tousled from sleep, framing his face in shaggy flicks. She felt a stab of sadness as she remembered it wouldn’t be long before he’d be shipped off back to Russia and all his beautiful hair would be hacked off again.

Gerard sighed quietly in his sleep then and turned away from her in the bed, almost as if he could sense she was watching him, and as he turned, the covers fell away just enough to expose the long arch of muscle along his back, and Dominika blushed again, reminded he was still nude between the sheets.

The night before had been nothing like she’d expected. She knew her sexual education was sorely lacking, but even so, Dominika was sure people had sex for other reasons besides making babies, and her first time with Gerard had indeed been romantic and special but also awkward and a little painful in its own right. She thought back to those pained conversations with her Mother and sister, which were intended to be life wisdom but had instead caused Dominika to cringe with embarrassment. At the time, she was a young teenager, and the thought of the opposite sex had only just begun to cross her mind, but nowhere enough that she could ever even consider anything like that. Now, as an older girl deeply in love and without any Mother or sister to turn to, she wished she had of listened.

With Gerard still fast sleep next to her, Dominika carefully untangled herself from the sheets and got to her feet, turning to look at him once more. Just as she reached out to pull the duvet back over him, a flash of red out the corner of her eye caught her attention, and with heat flushing her face instantly she stared at the red-brown blood stain that marked the middle of the crisp white sheet. Had she bled? Dominika didn’t remember it specifically but in the heat of the moment anything could have happened. A little embarrassed, she replaced the duvet and shuffled away into the bathroom to wash herself off in the shower and get ready for the day, trying to distract herself a little. As she ran the water, hot and filling the room with thick steam, she attempted to sort through the emotions that swirled around in her chest.

Dominika knew she did not regret giving herself to Gerard, it felt perfectly right, but somehow she wasn’t able to stop the shy and slightly embarrassed feeling that seemed to accompany that thought. Had she lived up to his expectations? Would he have thoughts similar to hers? Was it was normal, perhaps, to have these thoughts?

She closed her eyes as the steaming water ran over her, de-fogging her mind and allowing her to think clearly. It had to be a case of first-time nerves, that was all. Physically, she’d never had anyone even near her in that way before, so of course it would feel foreign and hurt a little. She knew enough about the female anatomy to know that bleeding was sometimes to be expected, and above it all she knew that what had transpired between them the night before was an act of love and nothing else. There was no need to feel embarrassed or shy now that they’d shared themselves in the deepest of ways.

Dominika cut the water and stepped out of the glass stall, toweling herself off briskly in order to escape the cold morning air that lingered around the room despite the warmth of the shower. Wrapped in the towel and back in her own room she pawed through her drawers, finding warm layers of dance clothes to wear, careful not to wake him. She intended to spend the morning in her ballet studio, somewhere she’d found herself more and more as Gerard needed her less as a nurse and more as a lover again. He encouraged her to dedicate time to her dance, something she truly loved about him, and for the last few days she’d been in there for at least an hour or two, working on her choreography whilst Gerard rested or sketched in his room.

The hallway was quiet as she wandered down it quietly, dust motes filtering through the air in streams through the gaps in the doors as she went. She pushed the familiar door, one of the last at the end of the hall and was greeted with the wonderful sight of the misty mountains out the windows, just beginning to be kissed by sunlight as it rose above the house on the opposite side. Although this view had become familiar, it still caught her up every time, and she paused for a moment to admire the vista before she set about her stretch routine.

She moved her limbs slowly, purposefully as she sat on the wooden floor in a straddle position, her arms elongated over the length of her legs as she tried to ignore the dull soreness between them. She stretched her arms upwards en grande and brought them back to the floor once again, pressing her chest downwards till it matched the position of her hands against the floor. Upright again, Dominika trained her arms back down against the floor, raising her right leg as high above her as she could in the arabesque position till her legs were aligned at a perfectly straight angle. Her hamstrings pulsed happily with the movement, glad to be exercised again. Dominika faced the window once more, taking a second to appreciate the expanse of the beautiful scene before her as she finished her warm-up, excitement pumping through her veins now as she prepared to settle into her routine.

She lost herself in the music as always, totally consumed by each and every note and the movement that matched it as the beautiful classical piece played through over and over again on repeat. The sun was much higher in the sky when she realized she was being watched again, Gerard’s eyes trained on her as he stood in the doorway, much too focused this time to meet his in the mirror in front of her. Dominika stopped suddenly, struggling to catch her breath with the sudden surprise as she looked at Gerard in the mirror, a strange expression on his face.

“You scared me” she breathed, hand flying to her chest.

“You never let me watch you dance” he retorted, one corner of his mouth pulled up into a half smirk-half smile “don’t stop”

Dominika rolled her eyes and huffed loudly, taking three steps backwards slowly as she kept her eyes fixed on Gerard’s, her gaze intense. Taking a deep breath, her ribs strained against her tight-fitting singlet as she raised her arms high above her head again, exhaling slowly as she raised on to the tip of her ballet slipper, the act seemingly effortless. En pointe, Dominika raised her other leg high in front of her and then she was off, spinning in small circles as she stepped from one foot to the other, balanced on the tips of her toes the entire time. Her arms stayed frozen in place, executing her perfect control as she slowed her large strides to little baby steps, still teetering along on the toes of her well-worn slippers. Dominika lowered her arms to her sides leisurely and without warning her heels snapped back to the ground, her feet in textbook full overlapping formation. She opened her lids then and looked back at him, her blue eyes burning with intensity.

Gerard strode towards her suddenly, closing the distance between them in a few steps. He snaked his arms around her waist and urged her gently towards him as she struggled to catch her breath.

“Too perfect” he sighed, his eyes warm but with an edge of hesitation that Dominika recognized as concern.

“What’s wrong?” she said, her voice lost in the expanse of the room.

“Nothing’s wrong with me, but I’m wondering why you disappeared so quickly this morning. Would have been nice to wake up next to you, kid”

“I woke up early and I wanted to come practice…” Dominika said softly, her voice small. His eyes bored into hers as if he was trying to read her thoughts, and she turned to face the window again to escape his stare.

His arms stayed locked around her as he leant down, the tip of his nose brushing first against her ear before her hair.

“Domi” he purred, the soft note in his voice enough to make her weak at the knees, working his touch as his hands knotted at her stomach, his lips moving to her neck “I know when you’re lying, and I’m pretty sure right now is one of those times. Are you going to tell me what’s up or am I going to have to coax it out of you?”

“Fine” she said, her voice shaking as his touch worked its magic over her “I’ll tell you, but only if you promise you won’t tease me”

“You have my word”

“Last night” she said, her voice wavering “It was amazing, special, beautiful, everything I could have wanted, but I guess, well I guess I have questions. There’s things I don’t…understand”
Gerard chuckled softly behind her, his voice low and rumbling in his chest.

“Fire away, kid”

Dominika was sure her face was bright red as she struggled to continue, trying to muster the right words from deep within her English vocabulary. After a minute or two of silent deliberation she decided the best way to say it was straight-forwardly, even if it added more weight to her already extensive embarrassment.

“People have sex for pleasure, don’t they?” she blurted out, her cheeks on fire “then why does it hurt so much?”

“Oh, Domi” Gerard said, his voice darkening with disapproval “I told you to tell me if I was hurting you. Why didn’t you tell me?”

He loosened his grip around her reactively and she cringed as guilt flooded through her body at having made him feel bad. That was not her intention at all. She knew he had been gentle, loving, caring with her. He had made every effort to make her feel loved, but she was simply curious about the physicality of it which she did not yet understand. It had been her very first time, after all.

“That’s not what I meant” Dominika said, her voice whisper-soft now “I know it’s supposed to be like that the first time, I was just wondering if it changes”

Gerard’s arms found her waist again, and she felt his heart beating fast in his chest as she held her body against his, lips at her ear.

“Yes, baby” he promised “last night was only the beginning. I’m not a woman, but from my understanding the first time is always a little….sore. Next time will be different, and maybe then you won’t be so nervous”

Dominika considered his words for a brief moment, and then the sensation of his hands resting against her stomach through the thin material of her top was too much to bear, and she spun around in arms to face him once more.

“Last night wasn’t the first time you’ve done that was it?” she asked. Gerard froze for a second, clearly deciding his answer before he continued.

“No” he admitted “but you should know, Domi, I’ve never told anyone I love them but you, and that won’t ever change”

That stung for a moment but part of her had known it already. He had been much too confident for it to have been his first time, also. A little voice in her head reminded her she was disappointed she hadn’t been his first, but she quickly recovered from that, replaying his last words so she could push them back into her conscious to analyze later.

“That’s good to know”

“I’m serious. And you should know that I still want to take it slow, as long as you do, anyway. I love you, Domi, regardless of the status of our physical relationship”

“I never said I didn’t want to do it again” she said, fixing her eyes on his neck for a brief moment before they flicked back to meet his, liquid blue and appealing.

He laughed softly before he leaned down to brush his lips against hers, one hand against the side of her face.

“You don’t make this easy, kid”

Notes

Happy Holidays to you all! Sorry for so long between updates but I bet you guys have had as busy a week as me! Still, 1000 views for last chapter, wow!
Thanks for reading!