F*ck and Run

“So I think I’m going to ask Frank if he wants to move in with me...” Gerard said, testing the words out as he considered slurping more latte out of the tiny hole in the lid of his disposable cup. He’d thought about asking for a lid with a wider hole, even though he knew Starbucks didn’t provide such things. He was so exhausted from getting through worst of the lunar cycle there was no way he could consume the burnt excuse for espresso fast enough.
They’d stopped for Starbucks drive-thru and Mikey had pulled into a parking spot to briefly savor his macchiato for a moment before hitting the road again.
“Do you think that’s a bad idea?” Gerard asked when it was clear Mikey wasn’t going to comment.
“I dunno… Don’t you wanna give him some time to adjust first?” Mikey asked gently, “I don’t think it’s a bad idea, per se, but Gee, isn’t that taking things a little... fast?”
“Nothing else about us has ever been conventional. Why should this have to be?” Gerard mused.
“People wait to move in together for a very good reason.” Mikey offered, “Sorry if I sound like mom right now, but don’t you wanna figure out how to walk before you run?”
“I do.” Gerard agreed thoughtfully, “I just want everything on the table, you know? Like, I just want him to know that he could if he wanted to. Since he doesn’t have a place lined up right now anyways.”
“Well, there’s no harm in asking.” Mikey sighed, “The worst he can do is say ‘no.’”
“I’d probably chicken out anyways.” Gerard sighed, “Things are weird enough. I don’t need to make them weirder...”
“Probably not.” Mikey agreed.
“I don’t know. It was just an idea.” Gerard mumbled defensively, more for himself than for Mikey’s sake.
“No harm in asking.” Mikey repeated, “But knowing you, you’d definitely chicken out.”

Gerard was still dwelling on it once they were back on the interstate. Things would be so much easier for Frank if he just stayed. And Gerard wanted him to stay. He already sort of knew what living with Frank would be like, and he wanted it.
Frank was busy all the time, to the point that he was almost never home. He always put the cap back on the toothpaste so Gerard had to unscrew it if he wanted to brush his teeth, which was cute in this uptight kind of way. He put music on as loud as he wanted, regardless of it was a weeknight or not. In general, Frank seemed to have little to no regard for the neighbors, if the noisy demands he made when Gerard had him pinned to the mattress were anything to go by. Gerard knew his neighbors were probably sick of the latenight run-throughs of the Jawbreaker discography, and the detailed (often loudly moaned) descriptions of how nice Gerard’s dick felt. But Frank wasn’t.
Gerard would have to make way for tofu and beer and weed and twice as much laundry. He’d have to share his office. His drawing space. When he went out, he’d have to tell someone where he was going, when he’d be home. He’d have to deal with the pre-moon symptoms beside someone who actually knew what the fuck was going on with him. He’d have to explain himself.
But he could handle all of it. He wanted it, even. But trying to come up with a smooth, subtle way to ask Frank was so daunting that Gerard managed to exhaust himself enough to sleep the rest of the way to Manhattan.
Before he knew it, they were sitting in end-of-weekend traffic, just a mile or two from Gerard’s apartment. When he woke up, Mikey was on the phone with his Alicia, complaining about the traffic he was likely to hit on the Brooklyn bridge, asking if she needed him to pick up anything on his way over.
“That’s gonna be us...” Gerard thought to himself, and he immediately felt nervous.
Fuck getting a few dates right. If they lived together, Gerard would have to get every single day right. Which was difficult for a person who, around the full moon, experienced mood swings more frequently than their heart could beat.

A few traffic maneuvers of questionable legality - Mikey had blatantly cut off that cabby for no good reason, and crossed the double yellow lines to pass a limo - and Gerard was sliding out of the car and onto the curb in front of his apartment. He thanked his brother endlessly as he pulled his bag out of the backseat.
“You owe me one.” was all Mikey would say. Smugly, of course.
Gerard just smiled at his brother. The last time he’d owed Mikey one it had led him to Frank. He could handle owing Mikey one every once in awhile.
Gerard watched Mikey’s tail-lights get smaller and smaller as his car sped down the block. When they were gone, he turned to face his apartment. When he glanced up at his floor and saw that the lights were on, which meant that either Frank was there, or he’d left the lights on again.
Gerard pretended like he hadn’t been hoping Frank would be there all fucking day as he took the stairs up to his apartment. The first thing he noticed when he got to his floor was the smell of burning. It wasn’t like wood burning, like he’d been smelling for the last several days. It was more like cooking burning. This was pretty normal, living in a New York apartment, but as Gerard made his way down the hallway, he realized the burning was coming from his apartment.
He quickly unlocked his door and hurried inside. A layer of smoke hung around the living room, making everything hazy, like someone had smoked a couple cigarettes with all the windows closed. The smoke was drifting out of the kitchen.
“Motherfucker.” Gerard heard Frank curse.
Gerard made his way to the kitchen and paused in the doorway. He wasn’t sure if he should be more concerned by the charred mess in his frying pan or the fact that Frank had been trying to fry whatever it was without a shirt on.
“Are you trying to set my apartment on fire?” Gerard laughed, accidently startling the shit out of Frank. He dropped the spatula as he spun around, eyes wide.
Gerard dropped his bag on the floor and closed the distance between them, pulling Frank in for a hug.
“It’s only been a couple days and you’re... Already trying to burn all the evidence that you and I ever happened?” Gerard asked, breathing Frank in.
“What the fuck did I say about self-loathing?” Frank muttered fondly, wrapping his arms around Gerard.
“You said I had to stop until I got back to the city.” Gerard reminded, squeezing Frank tighter.
“Is that what I said?” Frank asked, burying his face in Gerard’s coat.
“What were you actually doing?” Gerard asked, eyeing the frying pan again.
“I was trying to see if I remembered how to fry hamburgers...” Frank mumbled around the wool, “Turns out I really fucking don’t.”
“Those are... very, very not vegan.” Gerard commented curiously, wrinkling his nose as he registered the burning smell as charred beef.
“Well they weren’t going to be for me.” Frank scoffed, pulling away enough to look up at Gerard, “I thought you might be hungry when you got back.”
“I…” Gerard faltered, “You touched meat for me? Like, slaughtered meat? All ground up?”
“You... dog.” Frank gasped, swatting at Gerard’s arm, “Don’t remind me.”
Gerard’s eyes widened, almost comically so. He hadn’t been expecting Frank to make jokes about it so quick. He hadn’t expected Frank to act like things were normal. Not for awhile.
“What?” Frank asked, “Too soon?”
“Well if there’s nothing bloody to chew on…” Gerard smirked, recovering easily from his surprise, “I’ll just have to eat you up instead.”
He ducked down to plant an open-mouthed kiss on Frank’s neck.
“Please.” Frank breathed.
Gerard caught Frank’s mouth in a slow, careful kiss, letting his fingertips glide up along Frank’s spine. This was too perfect. Gerard wasn’t sure what the fuck he’d done to deserve this, but he was too exhausted to question it.
He’d honestly just meant to kiss Frank a few times, just as a polite greeting, but the way Frank’s fingers clutched at his coat after those few times had Gerard kissing him deeper. He tried to push Frank up against the counter, but Frank pushed back. Not in the kitchen, then.
They kept kissing as Frank guided Gerard towards the living room. They kissed heatedly, bumping into things as they went. Frank was already half-undressed, and he tried, with little success, to get Gerard all caught up. By the time they got to the couch Gerard was out of his coat, staring up at Frank hungrily, trying to get his belt buckle undone.
This wasn’t about Gerard at all, though. He wasn’t sure why Frank was in such a hurry when they had all fucking night, but he didn’t ask. He just helped Frank with the button and fly on his jeans and kissed him hard. Frank sunk his teeth into Gerard’s lip, urging Gerard to push back with strength he barely had. It took Gerard a moment to react. He was so used to leading things that Frank’s urgency was catching him completely off guard. He thought they’d maybe… talk? Hang out? Something, anything, before diving into sex like this. It was a little late to say something, though. Gerard figured himself out and fumbled to get Frank on his back, getting a hand around Frank’s dick as soon as he was pinned down. Frank lifted his hips up into it, letting out a desperate, needy groan.
He could get used to coming home to this, he thought idly, pressing a sloppy kiss to the side of Frank’s mouth. Frank was already coming undone under him, moving his lips down to mouth at the skin over Gerard’s collar bone. He was fucking hard and leaking against Gerard’s palm.
“You’re so hard.” Gerard breathed, stating the fucking obvious.
Frank mumbled something against Gerard’s skin, but Gerard missed it, entirely way-too-caught-up in the sliding weight of Frank’s dick in his hand.
“Bite me.” Frank insisted, “Wanna feel your fucking teeth, Gee.”
Something clicked inside Gerard. He was almost startled out of the moment entirely. What if Frank had caught it? What if this was just the beginning and Frank was stuck like this forever too?
“Please.” Frank begged.
Gerard snapped back into focus, rubbing his thumb over the head of Frank’s cock as he flicked his wrist. He leaned down, sinking his teeth into Frank’s neck, sucking hard on the skin.
Frank moaned for him beautifully then, urging him to do it again. Gerard obliged, biting down on Frank’s shoulder. Hard enough to leave a mark, hard enough for it to hurt. Frank was clearly very fucking into it, pressing desperately into Gerard’s hand.
It felt good to let himself go enough to enjoy it. Gerard gave in to the act, nipping at Frank’s skin and then running his tongue over the abused skin gently, carefully. He was so distracted by how satisfying it was, he almost didn’t notice Frank coming all over, breathing Gerard’s name like it was a fucking prayer.
Frank panted into the gentle kiss he shoved against Gerard’s lips.
“Fuck.” He sighed, going limp against the cushions.
Gerard lowered himself onto the sliver of space between Frank and the back of the couch, eyeing Frank curiously.
“Is that something you’re um… into?” Gerard asked carefully.
“What?” Frank asked.
“Biting.” Gerard clarified.
“Oh. That. Um… I don’t know?” Frank answered, “It just felt… right? I don’t know. If it was weird… we don’t have to-”
“It wasn’t weird.” Gerard amended, pushing Frank’s hair out of his face, “Just… you’ve never asked me to do that before.”
“I’m not so good at the asking part...” Frank offered, “Always been more of a spur-of-the-moment kind of guy.”
“Is there… anything else?” Gerard asked, “That you might wanna try?”
“Stick around and you might find out.” Frank leered, palming at Gerard through his jeans.
“Maybe later.” Gerard insisted, grabbing Frank’s wrist and placing it firmly against the cushion above his head.
“No fun.” Frank groaned.
Gerard tore his shirt off and used it to wipe off the majority of the mess on Frank’s torso. He tossed the shirt onto the floor-boards to deal with later, aiming away from the carpet. He pulled the blanket hanging off the back of the couch over them and wrapped an arm around Frank’s middle.
An unfamiliar scent registered in his nostrils as he snuggled up to Frank.
“Did you have someone over?” Gerard asked before he could even think about it.
“Oh. Uh, yeah. Forgot to mention that.” Frank said sheepishly, “Jamia wanted to know why I’m always having sleepovers with you instead of her. Your place is way nicer than hers...”
“You’re just with me for my apartment, aren’t you?” Gerard teased gently.
“No way.” Frank protested, rolling over to glare at Gerard, “How could you even-”
“Kidding.” Gerard interrupted, “But seriously, Frank, my place is yours… do whatever you want with it while you’re here.”
Something inside Gerard told him to look away, to not stare Frank down so seriously as he said it, but he held Frank’s gaze.
“Think of it as home.” Gerard offered gently.
“‘Kay...” Frank answered weakly.
Gerard reached across Frank to grab the TV remote. He clicked it on and rested his head against Frank’s chest as the picture faded into life. Commercials were on. He dropped the remote without even bothering with changing the channel.
“I thought of some things I wanted to ask you.” Frank said, “Y’know… Wolf stuff.”
“Ask away.” Gerard said, staring blankly at the TV screen. He listened to Frank’s heartbeat in his chest, paired with his even breathing. It was soothing, familiar. Gerard felt heavy, ready to drift off already.
“Okay.” Frank said, reaching up a hand to card his finger’s through Gerard’s hair, “So silver…”
“Never really been my color.” Gerard answered automatically.
“But are you… allergic to it?” Frank asked.
“That’s one way of putting it.” Gerard offered, “It fucking... burns.”
“So what do you do about… silverware then?” Frank pressed.
“Do I seem like the type of person who goes to places where people eat with actual silver?” Gerard asked.
“I guess not…” Frank answered thoughtfully.
Gerard turned his head a few inches to press a kiss against Frank’s ribs.
“Ok, well what about hearing.” Frank asked, “Dogs have like, way better hearing than people do.”
“I don’t think it’s changed much since I was bitten.” Gerard said.
“But sense of smell.” Frank pointed out, “That’s heightened?”
“Yeah.” Gerard said, taking a deep breath of Frank, and home, and charred meat, “It’s heightened.”
“Sex drive, too.” Frank said. It wasn’t in the form of a question, but Gerard still treated it like one.
“It’s mostly bad as it gets closer to the moon.” Gerard commented.
“Bad? How could that possibly be a bad thing?” Frank asked.
“Ask me again in about… two weeks.” Gerard said, smiling to himself. He tried to remind himself how soon the next full moon was as little as possible. The thought almost made the smile disappear from his face. Almost. He was too happy to be alone with Frank to let anything actually ruin it.
“So… the binding curse thing?” Frank asked. Gerard felt himself tense up immediately. He lifted his head up to look at Frank. His blood froze when their eyes met.
“Mikey told me about it.” Frank said slowly, “What are we… what are we gonna do about that?”
“You aren’t going to do anything about it.” Gerard said, “If I find a way to get out of it, I’ll let you know. In the meantime, I need you to pretend it never happened.”
“But Gerard-” Frank argued
“I’m just your boyfriend.” Gerard said, “Do you understand that? If you get tired of being with me, don’t think twice about the curse. Dump me. It’s my fault I was bitten, not yours. The curse is also my problem, not yours.”
“We’re using the ‘B’ word now, huh?” Frank asked quietly.
“Fuck yeah we’re using the ‘B’ word.” Gerard argued.
Frank just stared at Gerard thoughtfully for a moment. His gaze was so intense, Gerard could barely hold the stern expression on his face.
“If you want to, I mean.” Gerard amended, giving in. He lowered his head against Frank’s chest again and stared at the TV again. The volume was way down. He vaguely recognized the movie that was playing. He didn’t care enough to really think about it, though.
“I’ve wanted to for… awhile.” Frank admitted, trailing his fingertips over the back of Gerard’s neck, “Maybe since we started hooking up… I don’t know.”
“Me too.” Gerard said, returning the favor by idly running his fingers over the tattoos on Frank’s arm, “It’s good we waited though… I don’t know if I was ready at first.”
“Yeah...” Frank agreed.
They were quiet then. Between the silence and the quiet talking sounds coming from the TV, Gerard felt like he could literally hear everything between them finally settling into place. He felt heavy and exhausted. Even blinking was too much work, so he kept his eyes closed.
“It doesn’t have to be just your problem, you know?” Frank said after awhile, “I want to help you. I want to get you out of this.”
“I don’t think there’s any getting out of this.” Gerard explained, eyes getting heavy, “That’s why they call it a curse, Frank.”
~

Gerard woke the next morning to a mint-toothpaste ‘good morning and goodbye’ kiss from Frank. It felt strange to be back in some sort of routine already, but he couldn’t just forever ignore that they both had jobs to get back to… As much as he would’ve liked to.
With Frank around for part of the last full moon, it felt like it had gone on for a thousand years. Gerard had completely forgotten about life outside of his miserable curse. He was almost relieved to have to go into the art store for an afternoon shift so he’d be forced to stare at all the art supplies he’d been neglecting at home.
He got out of bed shortly after Frank left to spend some quality time in the shower. The cabin’s water pressure was bullshit, and it never ever got as hot as the boiler in the basement of Gerard’s apartment building. The steamy, hot water helped his aching muscles untense to the point that he felt almost normal once he was out of the shower and curling up on the couch. He nestled against the couch cushions, breathing in Frank’s scent, trying to wrap his head around the idea that he’d somehow ended up with someone who knew his deepest, darkest secret and somehow managed to love him anyways in spite of it.
Frank had gotten up early enough to make a pot of coffee and Gerard wasn’t sure if he wanted to pass out again or get up and make himself a cup. Another hour of dozing away won at first, but eventually he got up, joints popping, and prepared himself to face the day.

It felt weird to walk into work. It was almost as weird as it had been the first time Gerard had gone back in after his first full moon. The fact that life could just go on and always went on, even when he’d been locking himself in some basement and turning into a monster all weekend, made it hard to act normal. In mid-afternoon when all the art school classes got out and the art students started to wander in, Gerard had a hard time wrapping himself in discussions of comics and art mediums like he usually could. His mind was elsewhere.
He was still fucking worried Frank had caught it. Frank had just been acting so... not-Frank-like when he’d gotten home the night before. And honestly, if Frank had caught it, Gerard didn’t know what the fuck they were gonna do. He’d never considered this problem before. This was just another reason why he didn’t let lovers stick around. It wasn’t safe.
And even if Frank hadn’t caught it. Gerard didn’t know what he’d say if Frank asked about it. He wanted to believe he’d tell Frank there was ‘no way in hell’ he’d turn him but Gerard had never denied Frank anything before. He didn’t know if he could.
Frank hadn’t brought it up, and maybe wouldn’t ever, but there was still a chance he might. The punk’s curiosity in all things wolf had been so endearing to Gerard the night before, but now it was just a source of worry. He didn’t think he’d be alright until he saw Frank was still acting like Frank.
Gerard’s shift dragged on and on. He swept the aisles twice, faced all the paint primers in aisle nine, and even had time to flip through a few of the zines the art students had left as handouts at the counter before it was time to leave.
Gerard remembered then though, that it was a bar night for Frank. He’d be bartending until late.
As soon as he was out of the art store, saying his goodnights to Ray, he thought about going to the bar to see Frank. He even took a few steps in the direction of the subway station he’d need to take to get him there. He knew he was just excited and also fucking worried, but he didn’t want to start off being that kind of boyfriend. He didn’t want Frank to think he’d show up everywhere all the time, expecting to be together every second. The last thing he needed after everything was a reputation for being clingy, even if he maybe totally fucking was.
Gerard turned on his heels and headed for home...
~

As soon as he was pulling off his coat and popping a mug of cold coffee into the microwave, his phone was ringing. He pulled his phone out to find Mikey was calling him.
“Wasn’t expecting to hear from you for a few days...” Gerard said after he’d answered the call, “Aren’t you still totally sick of me?”
“I don’t have time to beat around the bush right now, so yes, I admit it. I’m sick of you.” Mikey said, “But I also need your boyfriend to stop coming into my office asking questions about ancient curses.”
“Oh.” Gerard breathed, playing dumb, “Huh.”
“Well… Did you guys talk about that?” Mikey asked in a hushed tone, “Like, at all? Or did you just pretend it’s not happening like you’ve done with everything else.”
“No we… talked about it.” Gerard said, eyeing the mug spinning in the microwave, “A little…”
“Well I think you need to talk about it a lot more.” Mikey countered, “Because he’s making me fucking nuts.”
“That’s what you get for setting us up in the first place.” Gerard joked, “You’re the referee.”
“I’m not a fucking referee.” Mikey said coldly, “This isn’t cute, Gerard. I need you to make it stop. I have fiscal reports to turn in! Do you know what fiscal means? Money stuff. And you know how much I fucking hate money stuff.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” Gerard offered evenly.
“Thank you.” Mikey sighed, and ended the call.

Gerard went straight to his desk, abandoning his re-animated coffee. Maybe he could work out some of what he was feeling on paper. He hadn’t let himself really think about what it would mean if he was bound to Frank. He’d been putting it off. It was easier to pretend it hadn’t happened. Gerard couldn’t blame Mikey for accusing him of that.
Gerard had been dealing with his transitions for so long, he was resigned to it. He’d be a monster for the rest of his life. He’d given up on finding a way to make it go away long before he’d met Frank. But he remembered how curious he was about finding a way out at first. He supposed he shouldn’t be so surprised Frank was just as curious.
He wasn’t sure why he’d even bothered sitting down at his desk. He just stared at the blank page in frustration for several minutes. He touched his pen tip to the page and doodled a small spiral in the corner. Fucking boyfriends. Fucking curses. Fucking witches. Fucking wolves.
He got up to put music on, but he couldn’t find anything he liked as his fingers skimmed over the titles on the small stack of CDs in the corner. He went instead for the records in the living room. He could put something on loud enough to hear from across the apartment. He settled on a Jawbreaker record. Fucking boyfriends.
The microwave dinged to remind Gerard of his reanimated coffee. He fished his cigarettes out of his coat pocket on his way back to the microwave. He juggled the pack of cigarettes, his lighter, and the mug of coffeeback towards his office.
He stopped short though, glancing into the pitch black of his bathroom. Gerard fumbled his way through the dark, pausing to carefully place the mug and his cigarettes on the floor next to the tub, before crawling into the bath tub. The tub was cold underneath him. He could feel the subtle chill sinking in through his clothes.
Gerard reached over for his cigarettes and sparked up. He thought about calling his mom, just to hear her voice, just to distract himself from Frank, but he could already hear her asking if he was smoking.
He hadn’t bothered to crack a window and he knew he’d regret that tomorrow when the whole place smelled like stale cigarettes, but once he was curled up, he couldn’t picture himself getting up again. There also wasn’t anywhere convenient to flick the ashes. He considered between the drain and the reanimated coffee he probably wasn’t going to drink anyways, deciding on the drain. He leaned forward to tap his cigarette over the drain and resettled himself.
It was comfortable in an uncomfortable sort of way. Gerard stared vacantly up at the shower head, glimmering in the dim light spilling in from the hallway. He thought of all the water that had passed through those tiny holes. There was no new water in the world. Some of it had probably been pissed out by other people Frank should’ve actually ended up with, reprocessed, and then shot out of Gerard’s showerhead. He wasn’t really sure if that was how sewage processing worked, but did anything fucking matter anymore?
~

Gerard was still in the tub when Frank finally came home. He was almost startled by the ‘hello?’ Frank called out, breaking the otherwise perfect silence. The Jawbreaker record had ended a long time before.
“In here.” Gerard tried to call out, but it came out as nothing more than a groggy whisper. He cleared his throat and tried again.
“Hey Frank!” Gerard said. His voice echoed off the bathroom walls in a satisfying way. He glanced over at the hallway and listened as Frank took his coat off and wandered through the apartment.
Frank walked right past the bathroom and into the bedroom, then the office, then the kitchen, then the living room.
“Gerard?” Frank called out.
“In here.” Gerard said again, feeling almost childish for not just getting out of the fucking bathtub to go greet him.
Frank stepped into the doorway of the bathroom and flicked the lights on. Gerard immediately squeezed his eyes shut against the brightness.
“What’re you doing in here?” Frank laughed. He closed the lid on the toilet and perched on the edge, leaning over to inspect Gerard’s strange, obviously-uncomfortable choice of positioning.
“Wait, don’t tell me.” Frank said, getting up to turn the light off again, “You’re a creature of the night. Of course you like sitting in the dark. You don’t have to explain yourself. How rude of me.”
Gerard couldn’t decide if Frank was fucking serious or not. He blinked in the darkness, letting his eyes adjust to it again.
“I’m not a… vampire.” Gerard laughed, “Um, how was work?”
“You’ve got the whole dark, sultry thing going on. Coulda fooled me…” Frank said, “Um, work? Work was bad.”
“How come?” Gerard asked.
“My manager sent me home early cause I was being kinda… moody? I guess? ‘Moody’ was the word she used.” Frank mused, “She could’ve just told me I was being a dick. I was kinda rude to this one lady, but she was totally over-served. And that wasn’t even my fault but hey, I didn’t really wanna be there all night anyways.”
“Moody.” Gerard echoed curiously, concern coloring his thoughts.
“Yeah. I dunno. I’ve just been so fucking… on-edge.” Frank said, “I think I’ve just got too much like, going on right now? Which reminds me, what are you doing Saturday night?”
“Not shit.” Gerard answered easily.
“Cool.” Frank said, “So.... my boss had me plan this like, acoustic showcase cocktail party thing in honor of the rest of Turner’s band and I was just wondering if you wanted to come?”
“Like, as your date?” Gerard asked.
“Well… yeah.” Frank said, “Or, plus one, if you will. I’ll probably be pretty busy with everything, but there’s gonna be a photobooth and shit. I’m sure we can find some time to do... datey things.”
“Seems like there’s a pretty good chance you’ll come home with me after.” Gerard shrugged, fighting a teasing smile he didn’t have to hide in the dark, “That’s datey enough for me. Is Mikey going?”
“Is Mikey ever not going?” Frank asked.
“Good point...” Gerard said. It was still weird to think that Frank and Mikey already knew each other in ways that had nothing to do with Gerard. He could understand this on a conceptual level, but the actuality of it was still a little jarring.
“Anyways about Mikey…” Gerard said, clearing his throat again, “He says to leave him to fuck alone until he’s done with his… fiscal reports? Or something?”
“He said that, huh?” Frank asked, letting out a breath of a laugh.
“If you have questions you can just ask me, you know?” Gerard reminded quietly.
“No I can’t.” Frank pointed out.
“What do you mean?” Gerard defended, “I’m trying to be transparent as possible about all of this. Last night-”
“I’m not fucking arguing with you while you’re sitting in the bath tub...” Frank said firmly, crossing his arms. Gerard couldn’t make out his expression in the dim, but he sounded serious.
“Fine.” Gerard grumbled, gingerly lifting himself out of the tub. His muscles protested against the motion. Between several days of transitioning, and sitting in one position in the bathtub for so long, Gerard’s limbs were not happy with him at all.
Stiffly, Gerard followed Frank into his entirely-too-bright bedroom. Even as Frank was glaring at him, Gerard couldn’t help but notice that he went out of his way to turn on the bedside lamp and cross the room to turn the brighter overhead light off.
Frank closed his eyes and took a deep breath to recollect himself before staring Gerard down with one hell of look. Frank’s eyes were so piercing, Gerard was almost unsure which one of them was the one who turned into a monster every full moon.
“Mikey gives me straight answers when I ask for them.” Frank said evenly, calmly, “And you just want me to pretend this isn’t happening.”
“But…” Gerard faltered, “I didn’t mean we couldn’t talk about it, Frank. The idea that you’d ask Mikey instead of me...”
“You don’t wanna talk about it at all.” Frank countered, furrowing his brow, “Have you done any research on any of it? Have you even fucking Googled it, Gerard? Aren’t you even a little curious what it means that we love each other enough to... activate some freaky ancient curse thing? Because honestly it’s-”
“Terrifying?” Gerard finished.
“Terrifying?” Frank asked incredulously, “I was going to say ‘romantic.’ You don’t think it’s romantic? Not even a little bit?”
“Have you ever loved someone this much?” Gerard asked, unable to stop himself from arguing further, “Because I haven’t, and yeah, it’s fucking terrifying, Frank. I’m so afraid of messing this up. Not to mention the fact that I’m all wrong for you…”
“Well, too fucking bad.” Frank countered, “You’re stuck with me. Maybe forever. Unless you fucking do something about it, which you probably won’t. You’d rather just sulk in your bathtub forever, wouldn’t you?”
“What exactly do you want me to do about it?” Gerard asked, “Why are you so eager to fix this, Frank? This has nothing to do with you at all. You could walk away from this unscathed at any moment.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it.” Frank pointed out darkly.
“What do you even think Mikey’s gonna do about it?” Gerard asked, softening his tone.
“I don’t know.” Frank answered, “But I can’t just do nothing.”
“Yes you can.” Gerard offered gently, stepping into Frank’s space and pulling him in for a hug, “You said it yourself: you’ve got too much going on as it is.”
“Well… You’re not helping.” Frank mumbled defeatedly, melting against Gerard.
“I was curious at first, too.” Gerard commiserated softly, pressing his lips against Frank’s hair, “But curiosity only gets you so far...”
“Just because you didn’t figure it out doesn’t mean you can’t figure it out.” Frank pointed out, “There’s probably an answer out there somewhere.”
“There’s worse things than being stuck with you forever...” Gerard said simply.
“Gerard-” Frank protested.
“I could be dead.” Gerard interrupted, “ I was dead, Frank. When that wolf attacked me I lost so much blood… There’s no way I would’ve survived it. It ripped me the fuck open. I had nightmares about it for months...”
“But… You don’t even have any scars?” Frank wondered.
“I did for awhile.” Gerard said, “They went away.”
Frank let out a deep sigh as Gerard hugged him tighter.
“I don’t need to find a way out of this.” Gerard explained, “I’m fine with the way things are. I’m just happy to be alive at all.”
“Why didn’t you just fucking say that?” Frank asked, pulling away enough to glare at Gerard again, “Now I just feel like a fucking asshole.”
“I’m sorry.” Gerard grinned fondly, “I guess pretending it isn’t happening is just how I cope with things… If you’d prefer to not pretend, we don’t have to.”
“I’m having a hard enough time figuring out what’s real and what isn’t.” Frank sighed, “Please no pretending.”
“Alright.” Gerard nodded, “But that means you have to leave my brother alone. Until he’s done with the... fiscal whatevers.”
“I’ll try.” Frank said, fighting a smile.
Such a little shit, Gerard thought, leaning in to wipe the smile off Frank’s face the only way he knew how.
~

It was a few nights later Gerard woke up alone in bed. He glanced over at the clock, confirming that it was still too early for Frank to have disappeared off to work. He listened for any signs of him, but all Gerard heard was the TV. He folded the covers back and crawled out of bed, slipping out of his room and into the living room. Frank was curled up under a pile of blankets, eyes glued to the TV. Gerard sat beside the tangled mass of quilting and wool and glanced between the bloody gore, and Frank’s entranced expression. He wasn’t even blinking really. His eyes were red from staring at the screen. Thick, dark circles curved under his bloodshot eyes.
“Uh… what’s up?” Gerard asked.
“Couldn’t sleep.” Frank offered, tearing his eyes away and blinking at Gerard, “Sorry. The TV didn’t wake you, did it?”
“Nah.” Gerard yawned, leaning into the nest of blankets and pulling one of them around his shoulders.
Frank made a vague attempt at swallowing Gerard under the mass of fabric, but it only sort of worked. Gerard’s head got tangled in one of the many fleece blankets. Frank took a moment to sort them out, wrapping a few of the quilts around the both of them protectively. Gerard knew he was smiling like a lovesick fool as soon as they were settled but he didn’t care.
“I have um, issues with insomnia.” Frank explained, resting his head on Gerard’s shoulder, “Or, um, I used to anyways. It’s kinda been awhile…”
“Huh...” was all Gerard could say.
Gerard had an inkling of a suspicion that Frank had caught the werewolf virus. He hadn’t told Frank about it yet. He wasn’t planning to until he’d finished building his case. There was more than enough evidence to support his worries, though. Frank had been acting weird all week. He was moody and on-edge, argumentative, dominant… it was clear now that he wasn’t sleeping. He’d even admitted to missing the taste of bacon the day before the last. Unvegan confessions had to mean something was wrong.
The suggestion of insomnia was the last nail in the coffin, though. Gerard’s hand shot up to Frank’s forehead to check his temperature. It seemed like he was running sort of hot. Gerard placed his other hand on his own forehead for reference.
“Fuck off, mom.” Frank said, swatting Gerard’s hand away.
“Are you feeling alright?” Gerard asked, leaning in front of Frank to obscure his view of the TV.
“Yeah.” Frank said, narrowing his eyes at Gerard, “I feel fine... Why?”
“Nothing.” Gerard said, recoiling.
“Nope.” Frank insisted, “It’s not nothing. What is it? Spit it out, doggy.”
“I told you not to call me that.” Gerard frowned.
“Roll over. Sit.” Frank teased, “Good boy.”
Gerard let him tease, so long as Frank dropped any mention of his maybe-fever.
Gerard bit his lip as Frank squinted at him curiously.
“No seriously, Gee.” Frank said, leaning over into Gerard’s lap and staring up at him, “What’s up?”
“I think um… I think you might’ve caught it.” Gerard said slowly. The words sounded weird coming out of his mouth, like it wasn’t him that was saying them.
“Caught what?” Frank asked.
“The wolf thing...” Gerard offered hesitantly, “I don’t know for sure. You just seem kinda… off?”
“You think I…” Frank trailed off.
“Maybe.” Gerard mumbled, “I don’t know? You said you wanted bacon the other day.”
“Fuck...” Frank breathed.
Gerard felt his anxiety spike as Frank sat up and stared at him helplessly.
“What are the symptoms like?” Frank asked, “Fuck. What do I do?”
“Wait until the full moon is closer and just, uh…” Gerard shrugged, “See what happens?”
“Fuck.” Frank said again, “Fuck that. You fucking told me not to fucking kiss you and I just had to go and fucking kiss you anyways...”
“We don’t know anything for sure, Frank.” Gerard said, trying to sound comforting, “I’m probably just being paranoid. You don’t even really have a fever...”
Frank clamped a hand over his forehead.
“Fuck.” He said again.
“It’s gonna be okay.” Gerard said, reaching for Frank and pulling him closer, “No matter what… it’s gonna be okay. I fucking promise, okay?”
He wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince.

Notes

they're so cute together i can't even