F*ck and Run

When Gerard woke up on Sunday morning he felt like he’d been run over by a train 30 times, poured into a mold, baked back into a solid form, and then thrown off of sharp, rocky cliff.
At least, Gerard thought it was Sunday? The moon cycles sometimes bled together, as it were, and waking up after spending the night as a wolf always left him disoriented and spent.
After his usual morning ritual of sleeping in the bathtub until the water turned cold and eating the 12-egg omelette that Mikey had so graciously prepared him, Gerard collapsed onto the pull-out-bed in the den of the small cabin. The springs of the old mattress groaned under his weight.
His body was begging for sleep. Every single fiber of his being ached. Gerard pulled an old faded quilt over his head and tried to let himself fade, working hard ignore the ringing in his ears and the dull roaring fire crawling under his skin.
His mind drifted off to Frank, naturally. First it was just the thought of Frank watching him eat a 12 egg omelette. Frank knew Gerard wasn’t vegan, but Gerard had never asked if it bothered him or not. Given the physical strain the monthly transitions put on his body, he’d never be able to go vegan, even if by some miniscule chance he should ever want to.
The springs in the old, lumpy mattress creaked as Gerard rolled over and nuzzled his face against the dusty, old couch pillow. He took a deep breath, savoring the familiar scents of pine and smoke, and even traces of his grandmother’s perfume if he really focused.
Frank had been acting strangely the last time they’d been together. It was something in his scent, more than anything else. He was on edge and seemed to tense up even more every time Gerard spoke to him. It wasn’t as if he could explain it to Frank. He wasn’t sure what he had said or done, and the more he thought about it, the more worried he grew. The springs creaked under his weight as he shifted again. He couldn’t believe he was tossing and turning. Sleep always came easy for him after a full moon, whether he wanted it to or not.
Another few moments of anxious worrying over Frank and he was crawling off the creaky pull-out-bed and stumbling down the hallway towards the kitchen.
Mikey looked just as surprised to see Gerard out of bed and walking around the kitchen. He looked up from his laptop, with his coffee mug frozen at his bottom lip.
“Hey.” Gerard yawned.
“Uh. Hi?” Mikey said softly, lowering the mug, “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah. Just can’t sleep.” Gerard offered hoarsely, feeling around in his coat pockets for his cellphone.
“Can’t sleep?” Mikey asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah. I don’t know.” Gerard said, pulling out his phone.
He had two missed calls and a voicemail from Frank. Instead of listening to the voicemail message, he immediately called Frank back. He meandered out of the kitchen and back towards the pull-out-bed to get out of Mikey’s curious, nosy hearing-range.
“Gerard?” Frank breathed, picking up after only two rings.
“Frank. Is everything- Are you okay?” Gerard asked, trying to keep the hoarseness and the urgency out of his voice. His throat was dry. He should’ve sipped some water before calling Frank. He didn’t even know what time it was or if it was appropriate for him to sound so exhausted.
He perched on the edge of the bed, glancing out the windows at the snow-covered woods.
“I’m… no. Yes? I don’t know. Did you get my message?” Frank asked. His voice was higher than normal and wobbling a little. Gerard could tell he was upset, even through the shitty cell phone reception.
“No. I called as soon as I saw you called.” Gerard said, “Frank, what’s wrong?”
“I had to evacuate my apartment because there’s dead-guy mold.” Frank said flatly. “And everything is just so crazy right now and I just-” His voice broke.
“Dead-guy mold? What do you mean?” Gerard asked. He hated himself for the relief he felt over the realization that whatever was wrong with Frank wasn’t because of something he’d done.
“I don’t know. I guess they didn’t clean everything before the replaced the ceilings and all my stuff is like… contaminated. With like, I don’t know? Biohazardous dead-guy stuff.” Frank explained, voice wavering more and more, “It’s like something out of a bad horror movie. They have to burn all my shit”
“Oh.” Gerard said dumbly. “...Frank that’s… fucking terrible. Are you okay?”
“Technically.” Frank sighed. “I’m in Jersey right now. I’m gonna just like, stay with my mom until I can find another place, I guess? I don’t know what else to do.”
“Frank, you don’t have to do that.” Gerard said. “Between me and Mikey and-”
“No!” Frank interrupted, “...No thank you, I mean. That’s not why I called. It’s fine. I’ve got it figured out, I think. I just wanted to talk to you. Can we talk about something that isn’t the total destruction of my life? How are things at the cabin?”
“They’re… good.” Gerard yawned. He was too exhausted to come up with a decent lie.
“Good?” Frank asked, “You sound exhausted, what have you guys been doing?”
“Oh, you know…” Gerard trailed off, grasping for a subject change, “I didn’t know your mom lived in Jersey?”
“Oh. Yeah.” Frank said. “I hadn’t been out here in awhile actually. The suburbs are more depressing than I remembered... but I found my old skateboard in the garage.”
Most of the distress had evaporated from Frank’s voice.
“You skate?” Gerard asked incredulously. He laid back on the bed and closed his eyes, pulling the quilt back over himself. He would’ve given the moon to have Frank curled up beside him. Well, he would’ve happily given the moon away at any price if it meant his monthly lunar-based misery would come to an end. He would've given a lot to have Frank beside him on the cheap, crappy mattress.
“I used to in high school.” Frank explained, “I can still like, ollie and shit but I’m not nearly as good as I used to be.”
“What were you like in high school?” Gerard mused.
“I was such a piece of shit.” Frank laughed, “Total stoner. I skated but mostly I hung out with the punk kids, I guess? I had this atrocious faux hawk… I was always getting caught for the dumbest shit.”
“Like what?” Gerard asked.
“Um well, like one time I was grounded for a whole fucking month because I accidentally lit a church on fire.”
“How do you accidentally light a church on fire?” Gerard laughed.
“I’d always smoke behind the church across the street from my school cause the teachers never looked over there. It had been a particularly dry spring and uh… well… ”
“Oh I woulda been so in love with you.” Gerard said absentmindedly. He almost choked on the air in his lungs when he realized what he’d said.
Frank was quiet on the other line for a moment. Gerard wanted to punch himself in the face over and over, once for every millisecond Frank didn’t speak.
“...Well it’s a shame you weren’t around then,” Frank said eventually. His voice had gone soft, “Because no one wanted to go to the fucking prom with me.”
“You went to prom without a date?” Gerard asked.
“Fuck no.” Frank scoffed, “I don’t actually remember what I did, which means I probably just got high with my friends... What were you like in high school?”
“I was a loser.” Gerard said, “I mostly stuck with the dungeons and dragons kids. They all had really great comic book collections.”
“You were a nerd?” Frank asked incredulously, “I don’t believe that at all.”
“I was a dungeon master, actually. King of the nerds. I could show you pictures.” Gerard promised, “I made a point to destroy most of them, but I think my mom still has a bunch hiding somewhere.”
“Me and my friends probably woulda kicked your ass.” Frank said.
“Yeah?” Gerard asked.
“Yeah.” Frank sighed, “Like I said, I was a real piece of shit.”
“As long as you would’ve gone to the prom with me after, I would’ve been cool with it.” Gerard laughed. He felt light. Now that his anxiety had faded the exhaustion had set in. He tried to stifle a yawn, but it fought it’s way out of his mouth loudly anyways.
“Well, uh, I don’t wanna keep you. You’re voice is coming in kinda fuzzy anyways. You weren’t kidding about the shitty reception.” Frank said softly.
“It sucks. We should really get a landline out here or something.” Gerard sighed.
“When are you coming back?” Frank asked.
Gerard could hear the pleading in his voice. It was the closest he’d ever get to begging Gerard to come back to the city and save him from the D-list horror film his life had become. There was nothing Gerard could do to change his answer and it devastated him.
A normal friend would already be starting their car to head back to the city to help Frank.
“I’ll be back Wednesday morning.” Gerard said, “Are you sure you don’t want me to send Mikey back to the city to give you my keys? You can totally stay at my place.”
“I’m fine.” Frank sighed, “Don’t waste the gas. Have fun.”
“Alright.” Gerard yawned, “Well, can I see you when I get back?”
“I’d like that.” Frank said, voice crackling as the reception faded in and out. “I dunno where I’ll be so just call me or something.”
“I’m so sorry about your apartment, Frank.” Gerard sighed.
“It’s not your fault.” Frank said, mirroring Gerard’s deep sigh, “I’ll see you soon. Thanks for uh, talking to me just now. I… feel a lot better.”
“It’s the least I could do, Frankie. See you soon.” Gerard said.
He didn't add how much he missed Frank, or how fucking sorry he was that he couldn't come to Frank's rescue.
Gerard waited for Frank to hang up, keeping the phone pressed to his ear until he was sure Frank was gone.
It took everything out of Gerard to not take his temper out on his phone. If he threw it across the room and let it shatter into ten thousand pieces, it would be harder to call Frank when he got back to Manhattan.
Then it took everything out of Mikey to keep Gerard from getting in the car and driving back to the city. Mikey didn’t want to say that Frank was safer away from Gerard, and Gerard didn’t want to hear it. But he had to say it, and Gerard had to remember it.
Gerard nearly punched a hole in the wall when Mikey pointed out that everything would be different if Gerard had just told Frank he was a werewolf in the first place.
Exhausted, frustrated, and full of longing, Gerard passed out on the pull-out-bed until moonrise.

Gerard and Mikey had agreed to let the wolf out into the woods that night.
It was something they did from time to time to try and wear the wolf out. It seemed to reduce the impact the transition on Gerard’s body, which made sense in a way. If the wolf spent more time running through the trees than trying to fight it’s way out of a tightly locked basement, Gerard woke up less beaten up.
There were a few precautions that had to be taken before the wolf could be set free to roam the woods at night. First things first, Mikey had gone down to the nearest ranger station during the day to check the camping and hunting registrars for the area to verify that -surprise- in the dead of winter, there were very few innocent people out there for Gerard to maul.
The younger Way had also spent part of the morning checking all the cabin doors to make sure they were wolf-proof. The last thing they needed was a hungry, rabid wolf trying to tear Mikey limb from limb when they were alone in the woods.
In the early afternoon, Mikey hiked through the snow to the top of a hill not far from the cabin and set out a few cuts of bloody steak on top of a rock for when the wolf first came out. This would lead the wolf away from the cabin when it was most energetic.
Mikey returned from his hike just as the sky was starting to dim. The winter sun was buried behind the overcast skies, which were starting to look like they might be threatening snow. Mikey was thankful he’d bothered to put chains on his tires first thing in the morning, because he wouldn’t be able to do it in the night if there was a wolf meandering through the woods.
By the time Mikey got inside the cabin and had removed his muddy boots, Gerard was already starting to strip his clothes off. Gerard handed Mikey his black coat, promising that the vague smell of Frank that lingered on the wool exterior would be enough to bring the wolf back. Mikey didn’t ask and Gerard didn’t elaborate further.
Gerard pushed past his younger brother and stepped out into the snow, completely naked.
The freezing snow burned the bottoms of his feet, but it was a welcomed burn. His body was temperature was steadily rising. The icy wind curled around him, making contact with the beads of sweat that had formed on his back. It sent a soothing chill through his aching muscles as they started to tear apart.
He doubled over when he felt his bones start to bend and contort. He might’ve puked on the white snow, then again, he might’ve just imagined he had. It was hard to focus on anything other than the twisting pain.
Gerard just held his breath and thought of Frank until the pain subsided and there was nothing left but the urge to run.

Notes

i want to write more but.... work in the morning.uugh.gheflahiwf;awoeifh'qpifhwef

-m