Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. I hated these days. Everyone was on edge. Trying to look nice. Trying to look lovable. None of us were lovable though. If we were then we wouldnt be here would we?

''Frank? Aren't you even going to try?''Lily, my best friend, my only friend, at this god forsaken place looked at me from my bedroom door. I was one of the very few kids here that had their own room. I think they gave it to me after I punched the Johnson kid so I could lash out in peace. It was his own fault for laughing about the fact that they had no idea who my parents were. A lot of the kids here still had access to their parents for when they wanted to meet them when they were older but I was just dumped on the doorstep in the night when I was 2 years old. I didnt remember that night much. Only what I saw in my dreams.

''Whats the point? No one has even looked at me as an option let alone try talking to me.''I said blankly and sank further into my pillows, pretending I was reading.
"Frank, I know you arent reading. Come on, will you please just get up off your lazy ass and get dressed? Just once, will you try? Please?''Lily sat down on the end of my bed and peered at me over my book. I stared at her face and evaluated the situation.

Today was the last chance I would have to at least try and get some foster parents before I went to the halfway house. A smile broke out on my face as I shoved The Prisoner of Azkaban onto my bedside table.

''Right. Get out so I can dress.''I grinned at her.
''Ha ha.''She smiled at me and took my place.
''You better get off my bed.'' I said as I yanked open my drawer and studied the meager amount of clothes I had.
''Yeah sure. Whatever.''She didnt budge.
I glared at her and said,''Black skinnies? Or black?''I held up my only pairs of jeans.

''I think you should go wiiith... Those ones.''She said and pointed to what was most likely the cleaner of the two. I nodded and shoved the other ones back in. I grabbed a random t-shirt and pulled it on, covering up my illegal tattoos. The staff here hadnt been too happy when I skipped school to get these. To make things worse they had given me the asswipe Johnson's chores so he had plenty of time to gloat.

I took off my pj bottoms and pulled my jeans on. Lily knows I like dick so I was fine with getting changed in front of her. She never really paid attention to me when I did anyway.
''Frank dont wear that. Not that t-shirt.''She said as she stared at it.

''Why not? I doubt anyone will take an interest but if someone is gonna even think to adopt me I refuse to go near them if this top offends them in some way.''I said as I scratched at some dirt. It was one of my favourite tops. It didnt have much of the design left on it so I had written on it 'homophobia is gay' which was a bit stupid considering the amount there are at my fucking school.

''Too late its on now I cant take it back. Get off my bed bitch.''I sat down on top of her and picked up my book again, pretending to read.
''Fine its your funer- Frank! Get off me! Oh my god Frank you fucking asshole get off me!''She screamed as I farted on her. She managed to push me off her and glare at me.

''Sorry. I dont know how many times I have told you that there is a chair there for a reason.''I pointed at the lonely old green stool that stood in the corner.

''If I sat on that it would break. Now come on, this couple is going to be here in like ten minutes.''She said as she pulled my book out of my reach. I pulled my hand back towards me sadly. I got up and followed her out of my dark room into the brightly painted hallway. I was barely to the top of the stairs and I was already regretting it.

''Mrs Macy! The hermits out!''One of Johnsons buddies spotted me from his bed and went racing downstairs, shoving Lily and I to the side. I glared at his back as he went on telling the whole world that I had ventured out of my room on a day that soon to be parents were coming for a visit. The last time I had done that was when I was 12, almost 4 years ago now. God that had been a terrible day.

''He's wearing his fag shirt again!''Someone else called on the floor below.
''Come on Frankie. I did warn you though.''Lily grabbed my arm before I could rush back into the safety of my room.

''Its not them calling names I just- dont really like people.''I said feeling stupid the second the words had left my mouth.
''Thats just stupid. Come on, do you want to get out of this place?''She asked me as we started our descent into hell.

The orphanage had 4 floors and the ground floor. I was on the top floor at the back so no one would disturb me. The oldest were all on the top and the youngest were on the first floor so that the carers could look after them.
''I spose so...''I sighed.

We reached the bottom of the stairs and I had to fight to not laugh out loud. A bunch of kids were standing in their doorways, watching me on my journey. It pissed me off sometimes how much effort these people put into looking good for strangers.
''What are you all looking at?''Lily glared at them, sending them back into their rooms to finish getting ready.

We went down another floor and found the same situation. Kids staring at me. Wanting to get a look at the freak of the building. We ignored them as we made our way down to the bottom floor. Mrs Macy, the owner of the orphanage, was standing with her arms crossed at the bottom of the stairs.
''Lily could you be a dear and go help Claire get dressed?''She smiled sweetly at Lily who nodded and went back up to the first floor.

I stopped as soon as Lily was gone, unsure if I should go back to my room or actually try for once.
''Franklin please tell me this wont be a repeat of last time. Please.''She unfolded her arms and went into the kitchen. I followed her hesitantly and stood in the doorway awkwardly, folding my arms across my chest.

''Frank. Please tell me you will actually try to be friendly. To be nice. To be nor- not-''
''Me?''I supplied helpfully.
''No Franklin, you are allowed to be yourself and express yourself. I was going to say to not be so angry.''She smiled as she emptied a packet of biscuits into the biscuit tin.

''Fine. I will try.''I said sarcastically and turned to walk away.
''Oh and Franklin?''She called behind me. I stopped walking but didnt face her,''You didnt do your bathroom duties last week so you will have them this week on top of your dishes duty.''

I could hear the annoyance in her voice. The annoyance the fact that I still had to wait a week before I could move to the halfway house. I was pissed about it too. As soon as I left this place I would move to a new school and a new place to sleep til I turned 18. What a life. I knew I wouldn't do my stupid chores in the bathroom. It fucking stunk in there.

''What did she say?''Lily stood at the top of the stairs, putting Claire's hair into a pony tail. Most of the little kids were scared of me but Claire would happily watch me play air guitar instead of play dolls with the other girls. She liked to play with my lip ring as well and was dying for the day she could get one herself.

She and Lily were going to be the only ones I missed once I left.
''She said she wanted me to try and not to be me. And I have bathroom duties this week cause I didnt do them last week.''I shrugged my shoulders.
''I dont know how many times I told you to do it. You just didnt listen.''She said and got up off her knees.

''Fwankie!''Claire shoved her arms around my neck as I grabbed her under her arms and picked her up.
''Hey Claire bear! How are you kiddo?''I smiled at her and ignored Lily's words.

''Happy!''She screamed in my ear as she started fiddling with my lip ring.
''You wanna play some guitar?''I asked her.
''Yes please!''She clapped her hands as I started up the next set of stairs, Lily following close behind.

''Are you going to come out when they get here?''Lily asked me.
''I- dont- no. I wont. Whats the point? No one ever wants someone my age. They probably want someone like Claire. Or the twins. Claire can you stop that for a second?''I asked as she pulled slightly too hard on my ring. I stopped on the third floor. Lily was younger than me so slept one floor below but she usually came into my room to talk before going to sleep.

''But you dont know that! If you just came outside to meet them. Just do that and if you're right then you can go back to your room.''She said and grabbed my hand to stop me from going upward.
''Okay. I will meet them. But thats it okay?''I shook her off as best I could with Claire in my arms who had started playing with my hair.

''Thank you. Bring her down with you okay?''Lily started walking towards her shared room.
''Like I would leave her alone in my bedroom.''I yelled back, smiling at the thought.

''What do you want to play today? We only have time for one song though.''I asked Claire as I turned the CD player on and picked out her favourite CD's.
''Ummm can we listen to the one that goes 'dododo do dodo dooooooo' and then umm. I cant wemember the west.''She giggled at me. I nodded and put Green Day in. I turned around to see Claire already putting her guitar around her. I picked mine up and pressed play.

''You ready for this?''I grinned at her and prepared to play.
''Lets do it!''She screamed a little too loud as American Idiot kicked in. I laughed as she started jumping on my bed.

She looked like she would be shredding the shit out of an actual guitar of she had one. I abandoned pretending to play and picked her up, spinning her around my room. She screamed with joy and sung along, not knowing the words but trying anyway.

''Frank!''Lily screamed from the doorway. I dropped Claire onto my bed and paused the music.

''Come on, they're here.''She bent down to pick up Claire who waved at me sadly over Lily's shoulder. When I started following her face lit up.
''Are you ready for this Frankie?''Lily asked me as we made our way downstairs followed by a few other kids. I thought deeply about what I was about to do.

''Yes.''