20th December
"Frank are you staying for dinner tonight?"Mom poked her head into the lounge. I paused the video game we were playing and looked at Frank expectantly.
"Uh yeah sure why not,"Frank smiled at me.
"Alright. It'll be ready soon!"She called loud enough for Mikey and Alicia to hear. I unpaused the game and we continued playing as Mikey and Alicia emerged from the hallway looking like they'd just woken up.
"What time is it?"Alicia yawned.
"Dinner time,"Mom called.
"Fuck,"I started pressing buttons more furiously, trying to kill Frank before he killed me. The past two weeks had been bliss. Work was good, Frank was going to start looking for jobs in the new year and I had only had one craving for alcohol. I wasn't getting my hopes up on having an easy end to the year. I still had 8 more days before I could even consider myself near the safe zone. But I was doing okay, so long as I had Frank by my side.
*
"That was delicious Donna,"Alicia groaned, sitting back in her seat. Mom had cooked a huge roast pork, Frank only having the veges of course, and we were all stuffed to the brim.
"It was awesome,"I sighed happily.
"You think this is big, wait til christmas day,"Mikey said. Frank smiled across the table at me, Pushing his empty plate forward slightly.
"Right, who's doing the washing up?"Mom looked round at us all. We all stayed silent.
"Well I've got- oh wait that doesn't work,"Mikey stopped talking.
"I'll do it,"Frank and Alicia chimed at the same time.
"I think Gerard and Mikey should do it considering they live here,"Mom gave us both a pointed look, trying to tell us not to let them do the dishes.
"Oh no we don't mind, do we Frank?"Alicia smiled and stood up. She grabbed her plate and mine and went over to the sink. Frank nodded and Mom eagerly and took plates up as well.
"Terrible, you two,"Mom shook her head in mock disappointment, a small smile on her face, and got up to leave,"All four of you can do them then."
"Fuck,"I groaned,"I'm too full though,"I whined as she left.
"Oh shut up and get on with it,"Mikey laughed. We both got up and within minutes we were scrubbing, drying and putting dishes away together. It took us all about half an hour to get everything done, after which we retreated to our rooms.
"So you coming here for christmas?"I asked casually, sitting down on my bed and dragging my laptop over.
"I haven't exactly got anywhere else to be now have I? Donna won't mind will she?"Frank sat down next to me, watching as I brought up my emails and checked what day I was due back at work. We were all currently on our holidays. Mom was back at work on the 27th, Mikey on the 28th and Daisy still had to email me the day she wanted me back.
"Of course she won't. Alicia is coming for our breakfast and present opening and then Mikey is joining her at her parent's place for their christmas lunch and then present opening. You know I don't really understand why people would want to wait til the afternoon to open presents. She said they just enjoy sleeping in a lot but I- Frank are you okay?"I looked up and realised he wasn't listening. He was staring at his phone with a look of pain on his face.
"No I-"
"Frank what's wrong?"I asked urgently, pushing my laptop out of the way and facing him properly. When he didn't say anything I peered over at his phone. It took me a minute to read the text message upside down but I got there in the end. Frank's Mom had had an accident and was in the hospital in a coma.
"I need to go,"Frank choked out suddenly. He stood up and looked around, looking lost.
"To your Mom?"I asked, jumping up and grabbing my jacket. Mikey would lend me his car.
"I- yeah,"Frank spotted his jacket on the back of my door and went to it.
"I'll drive you. Mikey will let me borrow his car,"I didn't wait for him to protest, which he was definitely about to do, and went and knocked on Mikey's door.
"What?"Mikey grunted.
"Frank's Mom has gone into hospital. Can I borrow your car to drive him?"I called through the door.
"Shit yeah of course just gimme a second,"Mikey said. There was the sound of scuffling and then the door opened up slightly.
"Is he okay?"Mikey asked, handing me his car keys. He had his top of and his hair was messier than when I had seen it before. Lovely.
"I don't think he's processing it very well, no. Thank you Mikey. Can you explain to Mom for me?"I said, backing away as Frank came out of my room looking dazed.
"Yeah no problem. Drive safe okay? See ya,"Mikey called behind me.
"Bye,"I echoed. Frank stayed silent.
*
Frank's family lives in Philledelphia, just north of Chesterton. It wasn't too far but it was far enough for darkness to finish falling by the time we got there. And then an extra half hour for me to actually find the stupid hospital. The whole time he never said a word. Not even when I asked if he was okay. He just kept staring outside at the houses and shops and buildings going by. When I pulled into the parking lot, pinching Mikey's spare change to pay for parking, he lifted his head and looked at me before bursting into tears.
"Oh Frankie,"I struggled to get my seatbelt off so I could lean over and hug him. He cling to me for five minutes, slowly calming down.
"Do you want to go in now or wait a little bit?"I asked softly.
"N- now,"He croaked. We got out silently and walked up the steps and into the reception, a good thirty centremetres apart. The thought made me sad but I didn't mention anything. Frank was currently trying to process the fact that his bitch of a mother was now in a coma and his brother and sister's were probably going to be there along with his Dad and now he was turning up with his boyfriend after three years not talking to any of them.
"We're here to see Linda Iero,"I said to the receptionist.
"She is on the-"The lady typed something in, her name probably, and clicked something before looking back up at us with a sad smile,"Third floor. Ward 3. The whole family is there."
"Thank you,"I smiled back and grabbed Frank's hand. He stumbled along next to me over to the lift. Once we were in, he let go of my hand and pressed the button. But he didn't grab my hand again. We got out of the lift and headed left towards ward three. It was quiet and eery. There was the quiet murmur every now and then but otherwise it was silent. Frank's Mom was at the end of the ward, surrounded by two girls that looked in their twenties, a boy that looked about seventeen and a man that looked to be in his forties. In the bed was a woman that was very obviously Frank's Mom. All of them had pitch black hair like Frank's. The red had ong since washed out and his hair was starting to grow back now.
Frank's Dad looked up once as we slowly walked up but didn't say anything. Frank's brother turned around and spotted us, he smiled at Frank sadly. I stood back and watched as Frank went and stood with them to stare at his bruised and cut mother. No one was saying anything.
"What happened?"Frank croaked out suddenly.
One of his sisters jumped at the sound of his voice,"Jesus christ! Who the heck brought him here?"
Frank tensed up as his brother said,"I did. He may be an abomination but this is still his mother and he deserves to know."
"Will you please be quiet?"Frank's Dad barked out gruffly. Every single fibre in my body was itching to go and say something but I had no right to. Frank had warned me once before already about them being like this. He had been telling me about Greg's funeral and how his Dad had turned up late and had cursed Frank out in front of everyone.
"She was driving to her hair appointment when a truck came out of no where and slammed into the drivers side. The doctors said there's no brain movement or whatever,"Frank's brother said quietly. Frank nodded a thanks and stared at his Mom again. I couldn't figure out why they were all just standing around her bed staring at her lifeless body.
"I'm going to get coffee. Anyone want coffee?"One of his sisters asked. Everyone nodded except and she left. I looked around for a seat and saw to my dismay that there wasn't one.
"Frank?"
Everyone turned and looked at me.
"I'll- I'll just wait outside okay?"
He nodded, begging me with his eyes to leave his sister alone. I turned and left, spotting a seat just a little bit down the corridor. I went and sat down to wait.
*
"What?! Dad that is not fair!"Frank's brother complained as he and his Dad walked out of the ward. "Taylor you were given explicit instructions not to. You deliberately went against my orders and-"Frank's Dad stopped talking as they walked past me, him eyeing me warily, Taylor looking at me weirdly.
"Frank you're just gonna have to deal with the fact that you don't have a say in this. Now leave me alone,"One of Frank's sisters stormed out.
"Anna wait!"Frank called. He appeared in the doorway and watched as she marched down the hall after the rest of her family.
"Excuse me,"His other sister roughly pushed past him, sending him stumbling forwards.
"Jesus Clara,"Frank grumbled. Clara stopped her death march and spun around to face Frank.
"It has been three years since you left. Not once have you text, called or come back to apologise for the shame you brought on our family. And then, when something terrible happens, you come back here with another piece of shit thats like you. Probably fucking you as well. You cannot get fucked off about us treating you like shit. You aren't family anymore Frank, no matter what Taylor says, it's done."
"For fucks sake,"He grumbled as a nurse passed by, shooting him a death glare.
"What's happening?"I asked tentatively.
"She's been here for a week. Taylor only text me because they decided they're going to shut off her life support. There's been no brain activity and there is some part of her brain fucking up or something. I don't know what it is but it means that if she wakes up she'd most likely be a vegetable,"Frank muttered,"Taylor only text me because they're shutting off her life support tonight. The funerals going to be in a couple of days."
"Shit,"I breathed.
"It's not fair!"He wailed suddenly. He buried his face in my jacket and started sobbing. I wrapped my arms around him protectively, not knowing what to say.
"They're my fucking family you know? How can they be so fucking cold and disgusted with me? It's just a fucking preference, jesus fucking christ!"
"I know, Frank. We just have to learn to deal with the fact that there are douchebags in the world that think their opinion is the only right one and that everyone who thinks different deserves to be treated like scum."
"Well not this time. Last time I saw Mom I just took it. I just accepted it and left. But I'm older now. Christ I'm 21 for fucks sake. I deserve better,"Frank stood up and walked into the waard again. After a moments hesitation I followed him in.
He was grabbing a chair I had missed from next to his Mom's bed and sitting down.
"Mom..."Frank said quietly. I stood by and watched as he started pouring his heart out to a woman who probably couldn't hear him and who didn't deserve to.
"I don't know if you can hear me, probably not if you're brain dead, but I'm going to say this anyway. You are not a terrible mother. I forgive you for making a wrong choice. It fucking hurts that you were able to turn away your own son like that, but I don't blame you. If I really belieed in God and all the stupid christian shit you forced on me, I would probably have kicked my son out as well. Up until the day I came out to you, you've always been a good Mom. You always tucked me in at night when I was little, accepted my choice to become a vegetarian anad even helped me get used to it and shit. You've never done anything wrong by me, excluding the kicking me out, and I love you for that. I still love you. Because you're my Mom,"He sniffed noisily, taking her lifeless hand,"And I know that deep down you still love me. You just dealt with another of my preferences the wrong way and that's okay. I understand. Seeing as this is the last time I'm ever going to see you, just- up in your heaven, try and forget about me being gay and just remember me as your son. Please. I love you Mom."
Frank sat there for another minute, holding her hand and letting tears glide down his cheek.
"Frank?"Someone said close by. I turned and realised Taylor had been listening as well. Frank let go of Linda's hand and stood up, wiping away the tears as he walked over to me.
"What do you want?"He sniffed.
"I-"Taylor glanced over his shoulder,"I wanted to apologise. On behalf of the family... If that's worth anything..."
"I..."Frank stammered.
"Look I'm not saying I'm comfortable with you and your... choices but I'm not going to be treat you badly because of it and I'm certainly not going to stop you from saying goodbye to your mother."
"Taylor... Thank you? I don't know what to say..."Frank looked at me then back at Taylor. A look flickered across his face before he gave Taylor a fright by hugging him.
"Thank you,"Frank whispered.
"You were always my favourite brother,"Taylor smiled as Frank's Dad walked in with Anna, Clara and the doctor.
"Taylor what the hell are you doing?"Frank's Dad barked out. Frank and Taylor let go of each other. silent. Frank came and stood next to me.
"Frank will you please just go? No one wants you here,"Anna sighed, sitting down in the seat Frank was in.
"I-"
"Oh let him stay. It's still his mother,"His Dad grumbled. The Doctor was watching very closely, interested in the family drama.
"Taylor wants me here,"Frank mumbled. I fought the urge to wrap my arm around him at the sound of sadness in his voice but I knew it would only make it worse for him.
"So are we uh ready?"The doctor cleared his throat awkwardly.
"Yes,"Frank's Dad said solemnly.
"Bye Mom,"Clara sighed. Anna mumbled something, Taylor looked on sadly, Frank's Dad looked very uncomfortable and Frank was trembling next to me, tears streaming down his face. The doctor flicked a switch or something and the line went dead.
"Time of death; 11:53pm,"The doctor wrote something down on his clipboard then said,"I'll give you all a minute."
Everyone was silent as he left. Anna started crying after a minute and Frank turned to me, seeming not to care about everyone else as he wrapped his arms around me and sobbed into my shoulder once again.
"Could you not bring your disgusting ways in here around your mother's dead body?"Frank's Dad barked out suddenly. I lost it.
"Oh for fucks sake Dad,"Frank let go of me and looked at him. Everyone's eyes were on Frank. I was expecting him to finally stand up for himself and shut down his stupid family's stupid faces but instead he decided to say something that made me angry. Very angry.
"He's not even my boyfriend. He's just a good friend that was nice enough to fucking drive me all the way up here. Can't you please just do what you usually do and pretend I'm not here? Just say goodbye to Mom and ignore me?"
Frank's Dad stared at us warily. Frank was flapping his hand at me behind his back, asking me not to exlpode. If Frank's Mom hadn't just died I would have had a fit. But I held it in.
"Fine. You leave with your... friend. You can say goodbye after we're done,"Frank's Dad grumbled. Frank let out a sigh of relief and turned away. He grabbed my arm and nudged me forward.
I stumbled out, walking a little down the corridor with Frank following me,"What the fuck was that?"
"Gerard please don't start. You don't understand. There is no point with my family. They're so deeply set in their ways. What Dad just said is more than I was hoping for,"Frank sighed wearily. He leant against the wall and rubbed at his eyes.
"Frank you just- they- fuck!"I shouted out in frustration. It wasn't fucking fair. At all,"It's not fucking fair at all! How can you just let them walk all over you like that? Why the fuck did you not say I was your boyfriend? Jesus are you that ashamed? They already know you like dick so why the fuck would you lie about me? Fuck, Frank, you need to stand up to them. Stick up for yourself because you deserve so much fucking better than that- shitty assed family,"I stammered, struggling to find a good enough describing word for them.
"Gerard! I grew up with them all! They are my fucking family. I know what they're like. If they know you and I are screwing it'll just make it worse. I shouldn't have even brought you here. Fuck."
"If it weren't for me you wouldn't even fucking be here,"I glared at him. I grabbed my wallet and grabbed all the cash I had, ninety eight bucks. Why the fuck did I have so much?
"Here,"I shoved the cash at him,"That should be enough for food and shit and a bus ride home. Enjoy your stupid fucking family."
I turned on my feet and walked away.
"Gerard where are you going?"Frank called,"What the fuck are you doing?"
"I'm going home. If it's so bad that I'm here,"I shouted over my shoulder.
"Gerard don't be like that! Are you seriously going to drive back at this time of night?"
I continued walking until I was out of the hospital, still fuming. A little voice in the back of my head was telling me I should turn back and be there for Frank but the immature little dick side of me was telling me to storm off and never talk to him again. So that was what I did.

Notes

the next few chapters are going to be quite short sorry