December 25th, Christmas Day
The snow is falling heavily outside, piling up against windows almost so you can't see the winter wonderland outside. Inside most houses, at this time in the morning, kids are just waking up, excited even through the sleepyness, parents are being woken by there kids yelling about Santa Claus and presents. In some houses everyone is sleeping in, enjoying the happy holiday. As the day goes on, families enjoy delicious food, bright lights on christmas trees, warm fires with their families, but in one apartment Frank Iero sits alone on his couch. He's staring at a small present wrapped neatly in his lap. The wrapping paper is a bright red with 'happy christmas' in green caligraphy dotted all over. On the silver ribbon is a tag. It reads:
"Gerard, thank you for entering my life. Merry Christmas. Frank xoxo."
Frank takes in a deep breath, as if he hadn't taken a breath in a while. A single tear slips down his left cheek as he picks the present up and takes it into his bedroom. He yanks open a drawer from his bedside table and sits the present in before slamming it shut and pulling open a lower drawer. He reaches in and pulls out a razor blade and a half emoty pack of small tissues. He sets them down next to him on the bed and grabs a phone from under his pillow. He presses a button and the screen lights up, telling him of no new messages, no well wishes for the day, nothing. Frank lets out a sob and throws the phone at the wall. He picks up the blade and starts slicing open his arm, warm bright red blood runs down onto his pyjama bottoms and blanket. Once. Twice. Three times. Six times. Frank knows he should stop but he is struggling. The pain feels good in a terrible way. With fumbling fingers he puts the blade into his other hand, slipping through the blood, and starts on his other arm.
After he runs out of room, he takes his pyjamas bottoms off and starts on the top of his thighs. Frank can barely see his skin through the amount of blood pouring out. When he starts to feel dizzy, he knows he needs to stop. He drops the blade to the ground, blood spatters surrounding it. Frank rises slowly, struggling to find strength. He staggers into his bathroom and turns the shower on. Very carefully he takes his t-shirt off and his underwear off before stepping into the shower and cleaning his arms. Frank's face scrunches up in pain as the water hits his deepest cuts. Once he is clean, he gets out and towels off, tying handtowels around his arms and legs. He pulls underwear on over the towels and climbs into his bed carefully. Frank tugs the blanket over his shoulders, blocking out the bright lights from outside and starts crying the hardest he has ever cried in all his life until he falls into a deep dreamless sleep.
*
A small pile of wrapping paper sat in the corner, bright colours twinkling in the ever changing bright lights on the christmas tree. Four people, smiling and laughing together, sat around a fireplace just beginning to die. The oldest, the mother, gets up and leaves the room. The three left settle down, the youngest boy, Mikey, kisses the girl. She smiles at him adoringly and the older boy, Gerard, looks away.
"Why isn't Frank here again?"The girl, Alicia, asks and breaks the soft silence.
"He decided to spend it with his family. You know, with his Mom dying and all,"Gerard mumbles. Donna Way walks back into the room, a huge box in her hands.
"Mom what is that?"Mikey exclaims. He jumps up and goes to take it from her when a loud yap escapes the box.
"Is that- is that a- oh my god!"Alicia squeals and scrambles to her feet, desperate to get a look.
"Merry Christmas boys,"Donna says with a huge grin.
Gerard picks himself up from the ground and puts on a smile that doesn't reach his eyes,"Mom this is amazing. I can't believe you got us a puppy!"
Another bark rings out and Mikey sets the box down. He opens it and a small fluffy white dog bounds out into his lap. Mikey is laughing, Alicia joins him on the floor and laughs as well. Donna sits down and moves the box out of the way, joining in the fun.
"I'm just going to the bathroom,"Gerard stammers out. He turns around and leaves the room quickly. He pulls open a door and shuts himself inside his bedroom quietly. Gerard takes a deep shuddering breath and starts crying. Tears slip down his cheeks as he stumbles over to his bed. Instead of falling like Gerard had planned, he dropped to his kness and reached for a shoe box underneath. He pulls it out with shaking hands and opens it. Inside is a small safe, padlocked.
"Shit,"Gerard mumbles. He gets up and goes to his closet, opens the door and feels along the skirting on the inside. Gerard grabs the small keys and goes back to the mini safe. He unlocks it and pulls out an unopened miniature sized bottle of whiskey. Gerard stares at it for what feels like forever, contemplating the consequences.
"I don't need it. I don't need it,"He says to himself. After two minutes he picks the bottle up and opens it, savouring the sound of the lid cracking open. He takes a sniff and shudders. He screws the lid back on, puts the bottle in the safe, locks it up and replaces the shoe box under his bed before putting the keys back in their hiding spot. Gerard gets up and makes sure there is no evidence of his crying before going back into the living room to join in the festivities. Mikey looks up at him as he enters and smiles widely. Gerard sits down and calls the puppy over to him, faking a smile even though there is still a tear in his eye, the bright lights of the tree reflecting onto the world.