Benzene Doll
Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back
[MONTHS LATER]
The boys were out fighting more Dracs, and Helena and Grace were back at the diner.
"I saw a boy today" Grace said to Helena.
"Grace honey, we're the only girls out here, of course you saw a boy today." Helena confronted.
"Not them. I mean, one my age."
"Now what the fuck would a ten-year-old boy be doing in the desert?"
"I guess his family was on vacation or something. But he seemed nice."
"And?"
"I think he liked me."
To this, Helena rolled her yes and groaned.
"What?" Grace asked her.
"It's complicated."
"Still tell me. Or it this something that the boys can tell me when they get home?"
"Sit down, kid."
And so she did.
"Your young Grace." Helena began. "Starting to go from child to adult. But you're still young. during this time...you're heart will play tricks on you. You get feelings, they kind BLI are trying to destroy...trying to get rid of...to avoid the heartache. And boys you're age well, they haven't gotten to when you are emotionally. They don't understand what you're going through."
"Did you have feelings for boys when you were my age?"
"Yes, but, it never ended well for me. And after years of trying, I gave up. I'm 26, it's too late for me now. My heart's been used, beaten, stabbed, broken and shattered. It's too damaged to ever understand love again. But you're still young, you still can. I'm not saying you should or shouldn't fall in love. I think it's good; it's healthy. What I am saying is, just be careful about who you give your heart to. Because love is very strong, Grace. Even in our greatest times of strength, love can make us still fall to our weaknesses, and make us its victims." She then took the younger girl's hand, and said, "Whatever happens between you and him, just promise me you wont get hurt like I did, ok?"
To that, Grace answered, "I promise."
The two hugged briefly, then Helena sent her off to bed, knowing the boys would be back anytime soon wondering what Grace was still doing up late at night. Just as Grace had left and closed the door behind her, Helena went into a different room. She landed on the mattress, buried her face in her vegan jacket, and released the tears she had been hiding from Grace.
The boys were out fighting more Dracs, and Helena and Grace were back at the diner.
"I saw a boy today" Grace said to Helena.
"Grace honey, we're the only girls out here, of course you saw a boy today." Helena confronted.
"Not them. I mean, one my age."
"Now what the fuck would a ten-year-old boy be doing in the desert?"
"I guess his family was on vacation or something. But he seemed nice."
"And?"
"I think he liked me."
To this, Helena rolled her yes and groaned.
"What?" Grace asked her.
"It's complicated."
"Still tell me. Or it this something that the boys can tell me when they get home?"
"Sit down, kid."
And so she did.
"Your young Grace." Helena began. "Starting to go from child to adult. But you're still young. during this time...you're heart will play tricks on you. You get feelings, they kind BLI are trying to destroy...trying to get rid of...to avoid the heartache. And boys you're age well, they haven't gotten to when you are emotionally. They don't understand what you're going through."
"Did you have feelings for boys when you were my age?"
"Yes, but, it never ended well for me. And after years of trying, I gave up. I'm 26, it's too late for me now. My heart's been used, beaten, stabbed, broken and shattered. It's too damaged to ever understand love again. But you're still young, you still can. I'm not saying you should or shouldn't fall in love. I think it's good; it's healthy. What I am saying is, just be careful about who you give your heart to. Because love is very strong, Grace. Even in our greatest times of strength, love can make us still fall to our weaknesses, and make us its victims." She then took the younger girl's hand, and said, "Whatever happens between you and him, just promise me you wont get hurt like I did, ok?"
To that, Grace answered, "I promise."
The two hugged briefly, then Helena sent her off to bed, knowing the boys would be back anytime soon wondering what Grace was still doing up late at night. Just as Grace had left and closed the door behind her, Helena went into a different room. She landed on the mattress, buried her face in her vegan jacket, and released the tears she had been hiding from Grace.
7/31/13