Unpublished
Just a nibble
Chapter 34
Gerard’s POV
The cigarette and talking to Frank for only a moment, was enough to calm me down. I finished the cigarette and put out the butt underneath my boot then went back inside. When I went into Grams’ room Mikey sat in the same spot I had left him.
“Excuse me boys,” The man entered the room after me; “you two are the relatives of Elena correct?”
“Yeah, we are her grandsons,” Mikey explained.
“Well your grandmother had quite the fall, when we took her into surgery; we fixed the back no problem.”
“Good, good,” Mikey and I sighed in relief.
“But,” the doctor closed his eyes in distress, “we found something else during the surgery.”
“She has a shockingly large tumor on her spinal chord; it’s amazing she didn’t come in with complaints earlier. The issue is, boys, there’s not much we can do,” the doctor’s method of breaking the news wasn’t insensitive, just straight forward, just doing his job.
“Well can’t you just remove it? You said to me she was going to be paralyzed as it is!” Mikey was shouting at the doctor who stood in front of us.
“The issue is boys, the tumor is on her spinal column, the road map to the rest of her body,” the doctor explained.
You know when something bad or dramatic is happening, and anything but fixing the situation seems insensitive, well that’s how I felt at that moment.
“Stop the spreading before it’s started, it’s not that hard,” I inserted my uneducated opinion.
“I would, except for the fact that the crash broke cells lose, their already well on their way north.”
“How long does she have?” I glared at the floor as Mikey spoke.
The doctor sighed as the though about the answer to his question. “I give her two days, maybe three, I’m sorry boys,” The doctor nodded and left us to sit with our grandmother.
Mikey didn’t cry, and neither did I. We sat there in the room just staring at her. “So is he… like, your ‘boyfriend now?” Mikey grumbled demonstrating his air-quotes.
“Yes Mikey, he is,” I nodded staring at the ground while leaning against the wall. I knew Mikey was mad, I knew he was probably about to yell at me, because that’s what Mikey does.
“Wow,” he huffed, “just wow, I can’t believe you would do this to me Gerard, to Ray, Bob, the band, even the fans! We’ve dreamed of this! This is what we’ve wanted since we were little! You’re about to throw it away? Really?! I can’t even believe you! You’re about to throw this opportunity away for something that probably won’t even last? Frank and I both dropped out of college for you, for this.”
“How do you know it won’t last Mikey? Who are you to decide what I enjoy and what I don’t? This isn’t yours it’s mine. Mikey, I really like Frank and I think we could really have something. I like Frank, a lot, and there’s nothing you can do about that. I’m not throwing anything away, if you think I hadn’t thought about that already you are severely under estimating me. It’s kind of offensive. You know how bad I’ve wanted this. You know how hard we’ve all worked to get here, and to think we’ll be starting our second album this week, it’s like living a dream. It means the world to me. I’ve been thinking over this thing with Frank for months now, I really think we could make it work, and if, when it ends, the band will be fine, because we know how to be friend even better than we do lovers. So everything will be ok.”
“Mikey just stared at me, “I never though my own brother would end up a fag.”
“You told me you’d let me have this! Remember that? When I said I wouldn’t flaunt it in your face! You told me you’d give it a chance. That you would try to change for me! What the hell happened to that?!” I yelled.
“That’s when it was nothing but a game,” Mikey grumbled, not making eye contact with me.
“Wow, just wow, thanks for the support little brother.” I walked out, as soon as he said his departing words, and I said my own. I went to Fran’s apartment, with certain swiftness, he had moved out once we came back from tour. His mom was sad, but his dad promoted the idea, until he dropped out of college. On top of that, his dad was furious about Frank’s tattoo. Frank had already covered a large portion of his body with art, but to top it off he got a scorpion on the side of his neck, to keep from being able to get a real job. I had only four weeks until I graduated. It seemed to me like there was no point in dropping out, if I was going to graduate soon enough.
I ran into Frank’s house to find him sitting on the couch watching TV. When he made eye contact with me, he stood, “I was worried about you,” Frank whispered. He didn’t need to whisper, but there was something about the feel of the room that just asked for it.
“Well I’m here now,” I sighed.
“Are you alright?” Frank wrapped his arms around my waist as I locked my arms around his torso.
“She’s going to die Frank, fucking die,” My voice was crisp and angry.
I hear Frank swallow when he thought about what I had said. “Oh god, gee, I’m so sorry.”
“And to top it off, Mikey and I just got in a fight, like things aren’t hard enough,” I closed my eyes as Frank’s hands explored the crevices of my back.
“What dd he say,” Frank’s hands stopped as he pulled away to look into my eyes.
“He hates the idea of,” I paused for a moment, “you and me,” I sighed looking at Frank’s neck.
“Why?” Frank asked.
“He’s worried it’ll ruin our chances of being a real band, that it will change everything, not only that, but he hates the idea of me being gay, which I’m not even sure if I am yet. I’m so sick of his interventions, why can’t he just let me be happy?”
“Gerard, it’s your decision, no matter what you decide, he will still be your brother, you are perfect just the way you are.”
At that comment, I pressed my lips to Franks; I could feel the wind from his nose brushing across my lip. I pulled away after a moment just enough to speak, but he could still feel the breath from my words on his own mouth, “Don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not lying to you,” Frank’s fingers filtered through my hair as he spoke.
“I’ll take your word for it,” I smirked, kissing Frank again, more intensely than before. I pushed him back to the couch, the edge of the cushion pressed against the crook of his knee, Frank fell back as I gently held myself over him.
“Tell me you love me,” Frank whispered gazing up at me longingly.
“I,” I kissed Frank’s neck, “Love,” I planted another kiss farther up, “You,” I bit his neck just under his jaw like the period at the end of a sentence.
Gerard’s POV
The cigarette and talking to Frank for only a moment, was enough to calm me down. I finished the cigarette and put out the butt underneath my boot then went back inside. When I went into Grams’ room Mikey sat in the same spot I had left him.
“Excuse me boys,” The man entered the room after me; “you two are the relatives of Elena correct?”
“Yeah, we are her grandsons,” Mikey explained.
“Well your grandmother had quite the fall, when we took her into surgery; we fixed the back no problem.”
“Good, good,” Mikey and I sighed in relief.
“But,” the doctor closed his eyes in distress, “we found something else during the surgery.”
“She has a shockingly large tumor on her spinal chord; it’s amazing she didn’t come in with complaints earlier. The issue is, boys, there’s not much we can do,” the doctor’s method of breaking the news wasn’t insensitive, just straight forward, just doing his job.
“Well can’t you just remove it? You said to me she was going to be paralyzed as it is!” Mikey was shouting at the doctor who stood in front of us.
“The issue is boys, the tumor is on her spinal column, the road map to the rest of her body,” the doctor explained.
You know when something bad or dramatic is happening, and anything but fixing the situation seems insensitive, well that’s how I felt at that moment.
“Stop the spreading before it’s started, it’s not that hard,” I inserted my uneducated opinion.
“I would, except for the fact that the crash broke cells lose, their already well on their way north.”
“How long does she have?” I glared at the floor as Mikey spoke.
The doctor sighed as the though about the answer to his question. “I give her two days, maybe three, I’m sorry boys,” The doctor nodded and left us to sit with our grandmother.
Mikey didn’t cry, and neither did I. We sat there in the room just staring at her. “So is he… like, your ‘boyfriend now?” Mikey grumbled demonstrating his air-quotes.
“Yes Mikey, he is,” I nodded staring at the ground while leaning against the wall. I knew Mikey was mad, I knew he was probably about to yell at me, because that’s what Mikey does.
“Wow,” he huffed, “just wow, I can’t believe you would do this to me Gerard, to Ray, Bob, the band, even the fans! We’ve dreamed of this! This is what we’ve wanted since we were little! You’re about to throw it away? Really?! I can’t even believe you! You’re about to throw this opportunity away for something that probably won’t even last? Frank and I both dropped out of college for you, for this.”
“How do you know it won’t last Mikey? Who are you to decide what I enjoy and what I don’t? This isn’t yours it’s mine. Mikey, I really like Frank and I think we could really have something. I like Frank, a lot, and there’s nothing you can do about that. I’m not throwing anything away, if you think I hadn’t thought about that already you are severely under estimating me. It’s kind of offensive. You know how bad I’ve wanted this. You know how hard we’ve all worked to get here, and to think we’ll be starting our second album this week, it’s like living a dream. It means the world to me. I’ve been thinking over this thing with Frank for months now, I really think we could make it work, and if, when it ends, the band will be fine, because we know how to be friend even better than we do lovers. So everything will be ok.”
“Mikey just stared at me, “I never though my own brother would end up a fag.”
“You told me you’d let me have this! Remember that? When I said I wouldn’t flaunt it in your face! You told me you’d give it a chance. That you would try to change for me! What the hell happened to that?!” I yelled.
“That’s when it was nothing but a game,” Mikey grumbled, not making eye contact with me.
“Wow, just wow, thanks for the support little brother.” I walked out, as soon as he said his departing words, and I said my own. I went to Fran’s apartment, with certain swiftness, he had moved out once we came back from tour. His mom was sad, but his dad promoted the idea, until he dropped out of college. On top of that, his dad was furious about Frank’s tattoo. Frank had already covered a large portion of his body with art, but to top it off he got a scorpion on the side of his neck, to keep from being able to get a real job. I had only four weeks until I graduated. It seemed to me like there was no point in dropping out, if I was going to graduate soon enough.
I ran into Frank’s house to find him sitting on the couch watching TV. When he made eye contact with me, he stood, “I was worried about you,” Frank whispered. He didn’t need to whisper, but there was something about the feel of the room that just asked for it.
“Well I’m here now,” I sighed.
“Are you alright?” Frank wrapped his arms around my waist as I locked my arms around his torso.
“She’s going to die Frank, fucking die,” My voice was crisp and angry.
I hear Frank swallow when he thought about what I had said. “Oh god, gee, I’m so sorry.”
“And to top it off, Mikey and I just got in a fight, like things aren’t hard enough,” I closed my eyes as Frank’s hands explored the crevices of my back.
“What dd he say,” Frank’s hands stopped as he pulled away to look into my eyes.
“He hates the idea of,” I paused for a moment, “you and me,” I sighed looking at Frank’s neck.
“Why?” Frank asked.
“He’s worried it’ll ruin our chances of being a real band, that it will change everything, not only that, but he hates the idea of me being gay, which I’m not even sure if I am yet. I’m so sick of his interventions, why can’t he just let me be happy?”
“Gerard, it’s your decision, no matter what you decide, he will still be your brother, you are perfect just the way you are.”
At that comment, I pressed my lips to Franks; I could feel the wind from his nose brushing across my lip. I pulled away after a moment just enough to speak, but he could still feel the breath from my words on his own mouth, “Don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not lying to you,” Frank’s fingers filtered through my hair as he spoke.
“I’ll take your word for it,” I smirked, kissing Frank again, more intensely than before. I pushed him back to the couch, the edge of the cushion pressed against the crook of his knee, Frank fell back as I gently held myself over him.
“Tell me you love me,” Frank whispered gazing up at me longingly.
“I,” I kissed Frank’s neck, “Love,” I planted another kiss farther up, “You,” I bit his neck just under his jaw like the period at the end of a sentence.
Notes
I really like the ending of this chapter. Sorry for the wait. I've gotten great feed back on deviantart but i don't know why i'm not here! Do you guys not like it? I wanna know! It's killing me!Anyway, hope you enjoy, and if you do PLEASE let me know? I hate to beg, but PLEASE!
Wish me luck on writing the next chapter, it's not coming along all that smoothly -_-"
I love how you added real interviews, and real events, and dates,
and ugh, I just fucking love this so fucking much,
I spent my whole day reading this.
You made it sound like it is in fact what happened, if not somewhat close to what actually happen.
---sorry for the weridness, I just freaking love this.
6/25/13