Taking Chances

Gerard’s grin faded as he saw Mikey standing with his back to us. I slipped my arm around Gee’s shoulders and pressed my lips softly to his temple.

“You know, Mikey was the one who encouraged me to go after you, Gee. He has absolutely no problem with you or us. I know it feels weird, and that’ll take time to fade, but until then it’s important for you to always remember that he loves no matter who you date.” Gerard looked at me, his heart in his eyes; he was so grateful to have me, I could tell, but even with the knowledge of Mikey’s support and of course mine, he was still scared. I wrapped my other arm around his shoulders gently and just held him there in the shadows of the bleachers until he felt up to facing the world; or in this case his brother.

Gerard kept a tight hold of my hand as we walked out where the others could see us. Mikey looked over his shoulder when he heard our footsteps and grinned broadly. I felt Gerard relax slightly next to me, and felt a ray (hehe) of hope. Ms. Matthews smiled down at us and waved, which I returned as I led Gee over to the small group. Mikey was standing facing Ms. Matthews and Ray who were sitting on the bottom row of the bleachers. I high-fived Mikey when he winked at me.

“Hey bro,” Mikey grinned at his brother who smiled back. Gerard was relaxing more every second, the totally chilled atmosphere helping greatly. We took a seat in the row above Ms. Matthews and a kept my arm securely around Gerard’s shoulders.

“Hey Veronica,” Gee smiled at Ms. Matthews, who beamed back.

“Hey Gerard!” I smiled and waved from Gee’s side and Veronica returned it. “Hi Frank, it’s good to see you again.” I nodded and returned the sentiment. Mikey seemed eager to continue their earlier convo so I just sat and listened until I had something to say, my fingers trailing lightly up and down Gerard’s arm. We chatted and laughed for the rest of lunch, and by the end I could tell Gerard was already more comfortable with all of this. We all walked back to school together, cleverly navigating the back passages. We walked Gee to his classroom first, where I gently kissed him goodbye; then we all went up to Ms. Matthews classroom for next period.

Ms. Matthews was impressed with my homework and the fact that she hadn’t had to beg me for like all the other kids, and the next hour of double math went really well for me. I enjoyed being taught by Ms. Matthews though probably for a very different reason than all the other guys in class. She explained everything really well, and made sure you understood before she carried on. Again I accepted my homework with interest; glad that the teachers this year were good enough to catch my interest.

After math, all the kids from our homeroom were called in, so well all trudged through the school back to Mr. Ryann’s classroom and took our usual seats. They had added two empty desks at the back next to us, which could only mean one thing; new students. We all talked loudly until Mr. Ryann walked in; Mikey, Ray, and I didn’t even bother to look up. New kids were hardly ever worth it. I was only half paying attention, busy doodling random song lyrics in a margin of my book. Until I heard his name; a named connected to so much feeling, of pain, regret, love, and hopelessness.

“… and this is Alex Vladimir, who transferred from Belleville, New Jersey. Welcome boys. There are two empty seats at the back for you if you’d like to get settled, and I’ll have another student show you around for the next two periods.” I got the feeling Mr. Ryann might choose me, just because my day had been going way too well so far and he would want to ruin it as usual. And I was right, looking up with a completely bleak expression as he called my name.

“Ah, Mr. Iero. Would you be so kind as to grace these boys with a tour?” His words might have been polite if not accompanied with that sneer and snide voice. I tried to keep my expression blank, but knew that Mikey and Ray saw how upset I was. I knew they would assume it was because I would miss Gerard’s class, and that was part of it yes, but not all. Mikey and Ray stood up to leave when the bell rang, giving me a sympathetic looks as they passed. I tried to smile, but knew full well that I didn’t succeed. I started to seriously considering faking illness to get out of this, but Mr. Ryann was too much of a dick for that to work. It was going to happen; I wouldn’t enjoy it, those were the facts. I had to deal with it and move on.

***

I stood up slowly, my whole body weighted with guilt, and my mind fighting me about going anywhere near Alex and the memories he represented. I still very much blamed myself for my father’s actions, and seeing Alex again… It was going to hurt, a lot. I was damn sure I still had really strong feelings for him too; he had been my first kiss, and my best friend.
I looked up through my messy hair, my expression expertly blank and my eyes straight ahead; I would just get this done, and go see my Gee, hopefully have an amazing dinner and relax. I grabbed my notebook and shoved in in my backpack, swinging in onto my shoulder as the two boys walked over to me; the taller of the two making a point to stand directly in front of me.

His naturally black hair was cropped at his strong jawline, framing his face is a casually messy way; he had stunning blue eyes that were now narrowed in a broody sort of way as he frowned; his face was even more beautiful than I had ever imagined, when we were younger. I felt my eyes widen, felt the first warning of tears as Alex gave me a wary look and stood back from me like I was contagious.

The other boy seemed confused by the obvious animosity that Alex had for me. Carry I think his names was. I smiled at him, having no reason to not be friendly; he hadn’t done anything wrong. He was one of those stereotypical emos; with the snake bites, dyed black hair all in his face, dressed all in black, with just a little too much eyeliner. That said, he was a very pretty boy and I knew we could be good friends if the relationship between him and Alex didn’t get in the way. I decided to play it dumb today.

“Hey guys, I’m Frank, Frank Iero. It’s nice to meet you.” I offered Carry my hand and he grinned an adorable smile and shook it half off. I laughed and patted his shoulder; he really would fit in. I offered my hand to Alex, but he just gave me a dark, withdrawn look before turning his face away. I shrugged like it didn’t bother me, keeping up appearances for Carry, even though inside I was crying like a five year old. “Well let’s get going; lots to see.”

Carry nodded and walked right beside me as I showed them around the first floor, the locker rooms, trophy hall, and where the bathrooms were; he chatted away constantly and I soon learned that his parents had adopted Alex the same year of his ‘accident’. He didn’t know why Alex’s mom had given him away. I glanced back at Alex where he was, a short distance behind us, looking entirely disinterested. I found myself thinking back to all those times we’d had together; to the way I felt and apparently still feel for him, to that moment of of absolute peace when his lips were under mine.

I snapped myself out of it. No! I have Gerard now, and I’m happy with him, we’re happy together. I wouldn’t leave my Gee for anyone. I took a deep breath and showed them around the rest of the school, but I wasn’t really putting any effort into it any more. I saved Gerard’s classroom for last, so I could just stay after Carry and Alex went back to homeroom to get their stuff. I was getting more fidgety by the second, until finally Gee’s door came into view. I walked straight through like I owned the place.

“Hey Mr. Way, I was told to show some new kids around, and introduce them to the teachers.” Gerard looked up whatever he was doing, his expression pleasantly surprised when he heard my voice. His smile was totally professional though, because of his class full of kids. He stood up and we walked over to his desk, Carry blushing like little kid; I didn’t blame him, or even feel jealous, how could I when Gerard was so unbelievably gorgeous. I would be stupid to think I would be the only one who noticed.
His red hair was falling into his eyes today, his green eyes glittering happily as they met mine. I indicated Carry who was right next to me again, smiling all shy like.

“Mr. Way this is Carry Griffon,” Gerard greeted him and shook his hand; little Carry looked completely star-struck, bless him. I indicated Alex, who had walked up on my other side. I gave Gee a meaningful look before I introduced Alex. “And this is Alex Vladimir.” Gerard’s eyes told me what he couldn’t, that he understood. He greeted Alex no differently though and played it perfectly cool. He invited us all to join the lesson, even though it was almost done; Carry nodded like a perky little cheerleader and bounded off to the seat the Gerard pointed him to, right next to Ray. They were almost comical to see together; the small, pretty, straight-haired Cary sitting next to our big, bad Ray with the wild curls. I would have laughed if the next words out of Gee’s mouth didn’t freeze my heart.

“…can sit next to Frank, I’m sure he won’t mind.” I gave Gerard a ‘WTF?’ look before stalking over to the empty table at the back, not saying a word. Alex stayed where he was, talking quietly with my Gee. I sat, pencil clenched in my fist and sketch book open unnoticed before me, while I glared daggers at the two most important men in my life; they were talking animatedly, like they had found something they both liked and we’re really excited. It made my blood boil. I couldn’t stand the thought of Gerard leaving me for Alex.

Alex was so much smarter, more attractive, a better artist, less agro too I guess. I didn’t look away from them until Gerard laughed and sent Alex over to me to sit and relax for the rest of the lesson. Just before they both looked over, I bent my head over my book and doodled something random, my hair between them and my expression. Alex sat on the stool next to me, the closest look to happiness I had seen on his face in the last hour. I knew I couldn't stand sitting in the same room as them. I shoved myself to my feet, grabbed my jacked of my chair and stormed out of the classroom, the sound of Gerard calling me ringing in my ears.

Notes

Frankie... :( Wee bit of drama. Let me know how I'm doing guys, I love comments.

Rock 'n Roll, Pansies
Keep Running //-^