Taking Chances

“I’m home,” I called out as I walked through the front door. I walked through to the living room and dumped my bag on the couch and wandered into the kitchen. Mom wasn’t there; I frowned and clicked the kettle on and walked back into the hall. I couldn’t hear anything, but that was normal. Mom worked at the local hospital, she’s a nurse, and sometimes she had to cover someone else’s shift. I bounded up the stairs two at a time and walked over to her door across the passage from mine. I knocked but there was no answer; I knocked again to be sure before I turned the handle and stepped into mom’s room. It was empty, like I expected, so I backed out and closed the door again. I ducked into my room, grabbed my memory stick that had all my favorite music on it, and went back to the living room. I plugged it into our awesome surround sound stereo and hit play. I turned it up loud and sang along as I went to get my liquid happiness; coffee!



Gerard sighed as he walked through his front door. Mikey had been waiting for him by his car at school. His little brother had tried to apologize but Gerard had stopped him. It hadn’t been Mikey’s fault; he and Frank had left the door open after all, and they should have known better than to get in a situation like that in the school any way. He was damn was tired, and as he walked through his bedroom to his on-suit bathroom, Gerard couldn’t get the atom-bomb that was Frank Iero out of his head. The boy was gorgeous, confident, and Gerard had spoken to other teachers and they told him that Frank’s grades were actually really good; he had everything going for him. And he had chosen Gerard, and Gee just couldn’t understand why. Standing in his bathroom, Gerard looked into his mirror, and finally liked what he saw.

***

I was sitting on the floor of our living room, my homework spread out in front of me on the coffee-table when mom finally got home. David Bowie’s Life on Mars was playing, one of her favorites; she walked in and ruffled my slightly too long hair and smiled down at me. Mom was amazing, and she totally understood my love for music because she shared it; I absolutely loved that she hadn’t asked me to turn it down.

“Welcome home, Mom,” I looked up at her and grinned. I didn’t need to smooth my hair down as she did it for me.

“Lots of homework I see,” She gestured to the table and I laughed.

“Yeah. The teachers didn't have any mercy; but I think I’m finished for today.” Mom bent down and kissed my forehead softly.

“That’s good Frankie. I’m just going to shower quickly while you finish up. Wanna help me with supper?”

“You know what, Ma; you go shower, and I’ll cook tonight.” Mom smiled her awesome mom smile and thanked me. I told her it was a pleasure and shooed her upstairs to take a nice hot shower and get into some comfy clothes and out of her stuck-up hospital uniform. I climbed to my feet, packed up the last of my papers, put them all into my schoolbag and went into the kitchen. I decided to make something simple, like steaks and salad. I was singing along to Blink 182’s All the Small Things as I fetched all the things I needed and laid out them on the central island counter. I was chopping up some things for the salad, having put the steaks under the grill, when mom walked in. Her hair was still slightly damp and she was in sweat pants and a Pierce The Veil shirt I had bought for her after the concert we had gone to together. Man I love my mom!

“What’s cooking? Smells good.” She sat on the bar-stool opposite me and smiled. She reached across the counter and nicked a piece of cucumber I was chopping. I laughed and playfully smacked at her hand.

“How was work today?” I always loved hearing about her day. She shrugged as I put all my ingredients into the salad bowl and set it aside to clean up.
“It was okay. There was a huge drama in the ER; someone said something about a car accident judging by how bad her injuries were. Other than that, it was nice and quiet in our ward.” I smiled. Mom worked ICU; it could be really hard on someone as loving as her, having to watch over people, when you didn’t know if they would live to see tomorrow.


“That’s good.” The oven timer dinged so I went about getting the steaks onto plates and dishing the salad next to them. Mom grabbed knives and forks from the draw and we walked through into the lounge. We sat together on the floor, our backs against the couch and food on the coffee table. We ate quietly for a while, the music playing in the back-round; we didn’t need to talk or gossip or posture to feel like a family, we just needed to be near each other.
When we finished mom thanked me with a smile, telling me how delicious it was; she insisted on doing the dishes seeing as I had cooked, but I went with anyway, to dry them and pack them away. I went through into the lounge and turned the stereo off.

“Hey Ma, wanna watch a movie?” I called out as she made us some coffee.

“Of course. What would you like to watch?”

“I chose last time, so why don’t you pick tonight?” I went and got my mug while mom fetched our favorite double chocolate ice-cream out the freezer and grabbed a couple spoons.

“Okay. How about Sleepy Hollow? The one about the headless horseman?” I grinned and nodded enthusiastically. I put it on and mom and I sat next to each other on the sofa, and enjoyed our double chocolate dream while perving over the young and delectable Johnny Depp.

By the end of it, we were cuddled up together; my head on Mom’s shoulder and her arm around me, her other hand stroked my hair softly like she used to when I was little; before all the bad things happened. We were comfortable and even when the movie ended we stayed like that for a while, in a comfortable silence until I broke that silence.

“Hey mom, can I tell you something?” She hugged me gently and continued to slowly run her fingers through my black hair.

“Of course you can. What’s on your mind, sweetie?” I smiled, completely sure she wouldn’t be angry about me and Gerard; I knew she would understand, you don’t choose who you love. I looked up at mom, and she smiled back encouragingly.

“I met this new teacher today; he is gorgeous, and confident, and talented, and I think I might be in love with him.” I held my breath as I waited for her reply. She seemed to think about it for a while.

“And how does he feel?”

“He likes me too.” She nodded and thought for a little while longer, before she smiled and kissed my forehead softly.

“Then go for it. I know he’s your teacher, and most people would say it’s wrong; but you can’t choose who you love.” I grinned and hugged her tightly. “But it’s time we both got some sleep Frankie. How about we got to bed?”

***

Gerard moaned softly in his sleep, rolling over and almost falling off his bed. After an awkward dinner with Mikey he had gone to his room to draw, but exhaustion soon drove him to sleep. His cheeks were lightly flushed and his porcelain skin was glittering under a thin sheen of sweat. He rolled back onto his stomach, his fists clenched in his sheets, his lip swollen from him biting it as the Frank in his dreams slowly tore apart his world. There was no denying now that he definitely wouldn’t be running from this one, like all the other times; no, this time he was all in. Frank Iero would be his first, and hopefully his last.

***

I lay in bed, my mind running away with me. I couldn’t stop thinking about my Gee; about his lips, his amazing body, the soft sounds he made when I did something just right. I grinned as I fantasized about this man who was so clearly out of my league, but still managed to do so much more than notice a loser like me. God, I really think I love him. Could I love him? After only a day? I drifted off to sleep after a while, a smile on my face, and warmth in my heart. Little did I know that the world of dreams had a surprise waiting for me.


I was five, standing in the door of my parents’ room; I had heard shouting and run up to see what was wrong. My mom was on the ground and my father was standing over her. He had the new shirt she had bought him in her hand still; it’s funny how we can always notice the small things. Tears were streaming down mom’s face, along with the blood from a sore on her cheekbone. I had run over and hugged her.
“Mommy, what happened? Why are you bleeding? Daddy, why is mommy hurt?” I had looked up at my father, the picture of innocence, when his foot connected with my chest, and I heard a heart rending scream that I knew somehow belonged to my mommy. I had passed out before I hit the floor.
I was nine; I had broken a window, and I had run and hid under my bed, knowing my father would be furious. I heard as soon as he got home and saw; he started screaming up at me, telling me to get down there or he would come up, and if he did it would be worse. I cowered under my bed, already crying just from the sound of his rage. I heard him thundering up the stairs, heard my door crash open and hit the wall, heard his footsteps; then something grasped my ankles painfully tight and yanked me out. I stayed conscious through the first blow, my jaw dislocating with a sound more terrifying than my father’s anger. I finally fell into the loving arms of darkness after three more.


I cried out in agony as I sat bolt upright in bed, my sheets drenched in sweat, my hair matted to my forehead, and my pjs sticking to my clammy skin. I heard soft running footsteps approaching my room, and even after a year I couldn’t stop the sick fear that welled up in me. When mom ran into my room and saw me, she ran over and hugged me close, even though I must have been really gross by then.
“Shh, Frankie, sweetie; it’s okay, you’re okay.” I clung to her as I tried to steady my breathing. She coaxed into standing up; she grabbed me a fresh shirt and boxers and I changed before we went through to her room. We lay in her big bed, and she gently hummed as I finally started to calm down. I fell asleep like that, with my mom singing softly, her fingers trailing lightly back and forth across my forehead like she had done since I was little, and her familiar smell surrounding me. Thankfully, the nightmares didn’t return that night, but the damage was already done.

Notes

Gee is having some awesome dreams :D wish we could say the same for Frankie; but luckily his mom is there. And it gives us a little look at his past. Let me know how I'm doing guys; comments are to me what jackets are to Gerard (Lol I'm a total comment slut), they make me happy hehe

Shout out to my own awesome Mom, who actually has been to many a rock concert with me, and shares my love for band merch. She rocks hard :D

Rock 'n Roll, Pansies
Keep Running //_^