Taking Chances

I walked into our living room and stopped as Mom quickly wiped her eyes, and smiled a teary smile.

“I’m really sorry Mom.” She just shook her head and hugged me again.

“I’m just happy you’re okay.” She sniffed quietly and I hugged her tightly until she pulled away. “I guess you must be pretty tired hey Franks,” I wiped her cheeks gently and nodded silently. I really hadn’t meant to worry her so much. After everything we’d been through with my father, we didn’t need me screwing up now too.

“Yeah. I think I’ll crash soon any way, I might as well be in bed when it happens.” She smiled properly this time and pushed me gently towards the stairs. I smiled at her and did as I was told, climbing the stairs slowly and shutting my bedroom door behind me. I put on my stereo before anything else. The song that came on first brought tears to my eyes. I turned it up and sang along as I lay on my bed and stared at the ceiling. My mind was reeling because of all the sudden changes. When I was with Gerard I felt like I had known him my whole life, I was so comfortable. But with Alex, I didn’t know how to feel any more…

And I didn’t know how I felt about Gerard when I was with him, I didn’t know who I was because me from four years ago kept getting in the way. This week had been crazy, and the last two days, the weirdest of all, but now what? Could it get any worse? Would it get any better? As I lay there alone, it was all I could think about. I tried to change my train of thought; I tried to think happy thoughts. I opened my eyes and looked at my cell phone on my pillow next to me. Perhaps I could call Gerard. But would it help or would it make it worse? I sat up then, tears rising to my eyes.
My father was in prison, in a different state, and yet his actions still had the power to make my life hell. I snatched up the phone and unlocked it, only to stare at the screen unsure. After walking out like that, I didn’t know if Gerard would even want to talk to me. I sighed heavily and dropped the phone onto my bed and bowed my head, letting fresh tears run down my cheeks. I wish this didn’t affect me the way it did, but what could I do? I ran my fingertips slowly up my fore arm, feeling the old raised scars that ran along my veins. I wiped my eyes and stood up. I wouldn’t let my father win. I was adamant that I wouldn’t let this get to me anymore. I grabbed my note book and a black pen and sat on the floor with my back against my bed, and I wrote. I just let the words flow onto the page, with no restraints. Poetry was one of the only ways I could truly express myself.

(*A/N)
Like salt in a wound
Tears sting our eyes,
We thrive on hope and happiness
And are cut down by lies;

Darkness holds them close
To her loving chest,
Their haunted hearts echo
Her every withering breath;

Guilt and dishonour,
Their violent side,
Forced to surrender
To their Greed and their Pride;

They break their hearts
And warp their minds
While searching for something
They will never find;
Peace…

My tears slowly dried up, but I didn’t stop writing until I felt safe again, until my thoughts were lighter. As my feelings eased I felt myself getting tired; my pain no longer keeping me awake. I climbed to my feet, put away my notebook and crawled into bed, exhausted. My eyes drifted shut to the sweet sounds of the Fearless Vampire Killers, and I fell into deep sleep.
***
Gerard sat at his drawing desk, his pencil in hand, but he couldn’t draw, not now. His mind was too occupied by his Frankie. Gerard glanced at his phone, his mind running through all the possible conversations, but he couldn’t bring himself to pick it up. For all he knew, Frank didn’t even want to talk to him. Gerard took a deep calming breath and turned back to his art; he would see Frank tomorrow, and he would fix everything. Closing his eyes, Gerard whispered:
“Everything will be okay Frank, I promise…”
***
I woke up slowly, my body resisting my mind’s urge to get up. I dragged myself out of bed eventually and stumbled over to my wardrobe. I grabbed a towel and wandered into my bathroom, and turned on the shower. The hot water instantly steamed up the little room; it covered the mirror and made me sweat slightly. I shrugged out of my clothes and climbed in. The hot water flowing over my muscles was heavenly, but I didn’t have enough time to enjoy it. I scrubbed up and got out and dried off before walking back over to my wardrobe. I pulled on a plain long sleeved black shirt, with black skinnies and my combat boots. My hair was still damp and hung into my eyes, so I brushed it back and drew a line of black under each eye. Suddenly my phone started ringing and I had to just about dive across my bed to answer it. I didn’t bother to check the caller id.
“Hello?”

“Frank, hey. Its Gerard. Is this a bad time?”

“No! No, its fine. Uhm how are you Gee?”

“I’m okay Frankie. Look, we need to talk. Can I give you a ride to school?”

“Yeah, sure. What time?”

“In ten minutes. See you soon, Frankie.” Gee hung up then and I sat and stared at my phone for a while, before I realised I was wasting time. I rushed over to my mirror and fussed about the way I looked and about my unruly hair. I shoved all my things into my backpack and ran down stairs. When I reached the kitchen I almost ran into my mom, she laughed and handed me some coffee.

“Everything okay Frankz?” I grinned and hugged my mom tightly.

“Everything is perfect, Mom. Gerard is going to give me a ride to school.” Mom grinned and wished me luck before walking back upstairs to get ready for work. I finished my coffee quickly and as I was rinsing my cup in the sink I heard a car’s horn from out front. I glanced up through the window and couldn’t stop myself from grinning like an idiot. I got to see Gee! And before Alex was near to ruin it. I took a deep calming breath and walked out to meet my Gee; I had so much to tell him…

Notes

*That poem is original, its mine :D I'm proud of it and if anyone steals it there will be no more invisible cookies ever :D Poetry is the only thing I feel that I'm good at so please be nice my sweet little pansies.
Oh yeah, and I'm sorry that its so short, just a filler chapter written between exams.

Rock 'n Roll, Pansies
Keep Running //_^